FabSwingers.com forum: It's just struck me!!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been virtual chin wagging with someone today and the topic of the forums came up. They've been on site a while and said the main reason I'd probably never seen them in here is because when they first joined they found the whole thing a bit ...... Wait for it........ "Cliquey" !!!!!!

Now as an occasional (*cough) poster myself I've only just noticed that the dreaded 'C' word doesn't appear to have reared its ugly head of late!!

Does this mean we've finally (and about bloody time too!) reached an age where man and woman, straight, bi, gay, lesbian, tv, ts, tall and short, BBW and skinny minny, new and old, black and white - can all post freely and live together in perfect harmony (side by side on giant piano keyboards should they do choose!) without fear of abuse, reprisal or judgement ?

Or has admin just sneakily added the 'C' word to the list of things that can't be typed in the forums?

I - for one - fervently hope it's the former!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think it is clickey or whatever you wanna call it. Dont think its a bad thing mind. Its just easier for me to avoid a group of people and their friends that way lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I wanna be in every ones clique

And yes, I think there are very clear groups of people on here, you will never stop that happening, it happens in life outside of fab so will happen on here as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was gonna post a thread today asking whether we could have a day whereby forumites noticed and praised the niceness of other forumites - not in a jokey way but like when a thread asking for help has been posted and someone has been able to help them, or someone posts saying they are down and others comfort them - as someone did post on the rememberance thread today mentioning that we are a "community" on here ............. it would be nice to have a warm cosy feeling day a week ........ just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well that's the 'admin theory' well and truly fucked!

Just seems no-one kicks off about it anymore!

Which I like!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

where ever you go in life and what ever you do there will always be groups of friends. call them what you want they will still be there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a regular forum reader and poster I personally don't see a Clique, I would hope that anyone can post on the forums and feel comfortable in doing so, of course when something is posted and an opinion is the way to answer, then not everyones opinion is going to be the same, but isn't that the same in "real life" ?

I enjoy the forums and hope to do so for sometime to come!!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I just try and get on with everyone... I have a few people that I chat to on a regular basis which is great...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was gonna post a thread today asking whether we could have a day whereby forumites noticed and praised the niceness of other forumites - not in a jokey way but like when a thread asking for help has been posted and someone has been able to help them, or someone posts saying they are down and others comfort them - as someone did post on the rememberance thread today mentioning that we are a "community" on here ............. it would be nice to have a warm cosy feeling day a week ........ just a thought

But does that mean that I, and many other forumites, have to be restricted to one special day in the week to be able to do what I/we do every day of the week.....???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life's full of clique's from primary school all the way through the years.

It's just a case of learning to be civil and try and get on, but alas this is not how life works.

Just get on with your thing and leave the others to there's.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

not been in the forums that mch bt find the chat rooms far more clicky than the forum

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

How many regular posters are there on each day 30? Im sure if you put 30 people in a room together every day, theres going to be friendships, fall outs, cant stand the sight of some. Its just a reflextion on real life. Well it is to me

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sadly these types of threads albeit with good intent just lead to subtle pops at people and there is little difference to the 'cliques' that are referenced.

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

No, it just means that those who post about cliques are wary of a particular group of people jumping all over them and telling them they're wrong, so they keep their mouths shut instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know certain groups of people are friends which is only natural if they have been on the forums for a while and/or have met up at socials. But I can't say I have ever been made to feel excluded.

I think there is only one regular poster who I never saw eye to eye with the last time I was here, but he seems to either have left the site or no longer posts.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

But do you think that's because you have become part of the community on here?

When I started at my place of work I felt intimidated and left out of conversations between people who had worked together longer....now I am part of the crowd I no longer feel that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But does that mean that I, and many other forumites, have to be restricted to one special day in the week to be able to do what I/we do every day of the week.....???"

nooo not at all but ...... we have a rant day and we dont have a day where everyone is really nice to each other - some of us are nice but some aren't ...... and it being rememberance sunday as well I think we should be tolerant and notice when others have been nice ........ I am aiming for world peace here - but doing it one tiny little step at a time ........ need a lot of help from others on this one .........

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I think there is only one regular poster who I never saw eye to eye with the last time I was here, but he seems to either have left the site or no longer posts. "

I suspect the fact that a fair few 'regulars' have stopped posting over the last few months helps.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

But do you think that's because you have become part of the community on here?

When I started at my place of work I felt intimidated and left out of conversations between people who had worked together longer....now I am part of the crowd I no longer feel that "

Nope. I am as ignored on here as I ever was. Maybe its because I don't care.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

But do you think that's because you have become part of the community on here?

When I started at my place of work I felt intimidated and left out of conversations between people who had worked together longer....now I am part of the crowd I no longer feel that "

Its really clicky where I work because most have worked together for years.. The other day they were all going out for a drink and I did not get asked.. I do wonder is it because I am not liked but I suppose not everyone gets on I suppose...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I know certain groups of people are friends which is only natural if they have been on the forums for a while and/or have met up at socials. But I can't say I have ever been made to feel excluded.

I think there is only one regular poster who I never saw eye to eye with the last time I was here, but he seems to either have left the site or no longer posts. "

Thing is you get a lot of strong personalities on on forums like this, i know for one i say things and others do, but ive found the best thing to do is if there is a little fall out between two people leave them to it (yes got sensible in my old age) then it blows over and forgotten by the next thread. If i have a fall out doesnt mean i dont like the person i just dont like what they have written and your always going to get a clash of personalities. If i get jumped on i just ride it through. But then you get the trolls that are not usually regular members but just come on to stir shit ever now and again

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"where ever you go in life and what ever you do there will always be groups of friends. call them what you want they will still be there"

I agree, and that is life. There is no need for nastiness though. I have seen prime examples today where people appear to have been ganged up on. However, by the same token, their friends have stuck up for them. I try and get along with everyone but realise not everyone will see things the way I do. This shouldn't affect how we or anybody else uses the forum though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The minxiest minister for world peace.....

If ya looking for votes..... I'd give ya one....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suspect the fact that a fair few 'regulars' have stopped posting over the last few months helps."

I can't say I have noticed. Why do you think that is? I had nothing with this person going, no idea why he doesn't post any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If " clique" means forming friendships, then yes I am guilty, but how can you not form friendships in the forums and on this site? I try and get on with everyone, I have met some of the regular forum posters and they were just as nice in "real" life as they are on here,

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I can honestly say in 4 years there has only been one poster ive been glad to see the back off

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I suspect the fact that a fair few 'regulars' have stopped posting over the last few months helps.

I can't say I have noticed. Why do you think that is? I had nothing with this person going, no idea why he doesn't post any more. "

The problem with forums (any forums, not just here) is that sometimes you can get irrationally angry at the behaviour of other posters. I have left certain forums over that sort of thing and I wouldn't be surprised if some people did the same here. better than having an aneurysm. However, some people might just have left Fab.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

But do you think that's because you have become part of the community on here?

When I started at my place of work I felt intimidated and left out of conversations between people who had worked together longer....now I am part of the crowd I no longer feel that

more likely that they now you would drink them under the table

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

But do you think that's because you have become part of the community on here?

When I started at my place of work I felt intimidated and left out of conversations between people who had worked together longer....now I am part of the crowd I no longer feel that

more likely that they now you would drink them under the table

haha I prob can....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I hate the word cliquey, or the "banding" about of such a thing, but of course it will happen.

Generally speaking it is brought up when people feel "left" out...or feel there is a group who are talking in reference to outside "goings" on.

Let's look a bit further:

"Cliquey

Adjective: (of a group or place) Tending to form or hold exclusive groups.

Tending to form into many exclusive groups of friends which rarely, if ever, mix with each other. "

So in my opinion, this is an open forum and the description above is not relevant.

Obviously on ANY forum or ANY social network, people will form friendships, and some will get on better with others.

This is the way of life, but it gets on my nerves when posters use the word cliquey as an insult.

I am pleased I have made friendships on this site, I am posting less than normal, but at any time I post, on a subject that interests me, or I feel I can give an opinion on, this is completely regardless of whom I talk to in pm's.

I would never entertain the idea of excluding or ignoring posters because they weren't in a "group" and no one on the forum is "exclusive" to me. Or M for that matter!

A little disagreement, or comments made, as I will always say...merely words on a screen! Not worth stressing over!

You have your friendships away from the forum....some people are more friendly on the forums than others....some get more involved. some stand by and accuse and say well they are "cliquey".

Well to those, just join in!!!

Argh...I have bored myself now

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By *ukus 62Woman
over a year ago

Essex

"No, it just means that those who post about cliques are wary of a particular group of people jumping all over them and telling them they're wrong, so they keep their mouths shut instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined the forums a couple of weeks ago, I did wonder if I would be welcomed, but I have to say the few posts that I have made, have in general been responded to positively. Having said that, I have noticed in this short time, there are one or two people who are quick to jump on people who post something they don't necessarily agree with, some of these people are new to the forums, and so don't know these subjects have been posted time and again. but in the main, everyone is very nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i find the forum interesting and sometimes fascinating.

i now always make the point of reading the thread or person's post before replying to it.

work and life in general do mean its not always possible to reply or contribute to the forum often but its always here and its nice to see some old and new faces that still are.

people post comments on what they believe to be right as we all learn from personal experiences. all different and sometimes a little advice from someone hits the nail on the head.

and isnt it interesting when someone posts something and so many can relate to it?.

thats the beauty of being human. all stuck on the planet together fighting for our on space and time.

the forum in my _iew is one way to get noticed or get to know people batter than a chat room as chat can be rapid at times, conversation missed and often someone getting a lot of attention will be unable to have a decent conversation due to the amount of bees flying around the nest.

a post on a forum gets read,seen and sometimes noted and you in trouble.

but whatever it is. its part of something must of us enjoy here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there are very very clear groups of friends on this forum, that's ok, happens everywhere.

There are also the same groups that will turn against someone just because their friends don't happen to like that person. That is childish in my opinion.

Like or dislike a person, we all do that, but don't follow a little crowd just b ecause the others don't like them. its an adult site and we should all show maturity.

Is it ever going to happen, of course it damn well isn't so let's just carry on and keep challenging any comments we find unacceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm often on the forums but don't post as much as I'd like to, even though I feel comfortable enough to post.

It's clear certain people meet or have met in 'real life' or have been talking on here so long they've formed real friendships.

I've never met anyone from the forums, and at the moment I don't expect to, so it'd be wrong me thinking I'd be accepted into any sort of group.

I feel accepted over all, and people who complain about the forums being cliquey, IMO, may have the wrong expectations of how they'll be accepted. Seems a shame that people would avoid the forums because of that, it's good fun in here!

But as well as fun, I've personally found it to be a very supportive community when it comes to the serious subjects, even though nobody knows who I am!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when I first joined - not that long ago - I always had the impression that a vast majority of the forumites were "great friends" both on here and in real life - I was quite shocked when I found that some hadnt met each other at all ............ but newbies shouldnt feel they can't post - and if they do so will always be accepted and fit in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It may still be cliquey on the forums but its not nearly as bad as it was when I started posting last year.

But then I have always been in a clique of one.

But do you think that's because you have become part of the community on here?

When I started at my place of work I felt intimidated and left out of conversations between people who had worked together longer....now I am part of the crowd I no longer feel that

Nope. I am as ignored on here as I ever was. Maybe its because I don't care.

Being ignored how though? Do you mean no-one comments on your posts? I think lots of times I agree with what people have said but I don't always comment on it. I think if there was a 'like' button the same as on Facebook, you might be pleasantly surprised that a lot of people do 'like' what you post!

As for the C word.... It does seem to be friendlier lately. Most of the certain few that always made bitchy comments seem to have disappeared. Some still do but that's just life.

I like the banter. I like to see different sides of different arguments/ ideas/ comments. I don't know why sometimes it has to end up a slanging match.

As adults I think people should be able to put their side forward without descending into personal attacks. Silly me....

I reckon there's a lot of lurkers out there that never post. I wish they would as it would mean more new opinions/ banter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would I know?

I'm part of the clique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would I know?

I'm part of the clique

*not part of the clique..*

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By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

I think newbies find the forums "clique! because you get regular posters and they get to know each others humor and what they can get away saying with them.

I am a member of forums for all sorts of things cars bikes camera etc and they all have regular posters on it that can take the pee out of another and get away with it where as a newbie tried to say the same thing to the same person they would be jumped on.

I find forums you need to read whats been said by who and find out what and who has your sense of humor likes dislikes etc and go from there, oh and just jump in and post too helps.

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By *umsuckMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

To me its akin to when you first start frequenting a new pub. At first you're the one stood at bar by themselves while everyone else chatting. Gradually you become more and more used to the place (and them you)and join in more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would I know?

I'm part of the clique

Freudian slip?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like the forums its best part of fab for me apart from maybe meeting new friends

i don't join in with all the word games confuse me

easy done and pics technology and pics r not my best skill but i have never noticed a clique xxxx

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

I wouldn't say the forums are clicky as such but there are a few clear groups....but that's only natural and you will find that anywhere. People that have met or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

I love rolos, dam I need to go get some now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

I love rolos, dam I need to go get some now

are we sharing then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just try and get on with everyone... I have a few people that I chat to on a regular basis which is great...

Same here

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

I love rolos, dam I need to go get some now

are we sharing then?

aye go on, deal

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"sadly these types of threads albeit with good intent just lead to subtle pops at people and there is little difference to the 'cliques' that are referenced.

Nooooo... that would never happen would it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

I love rolos, dam I need to go get some now

are we sharing then?

aye go on, deal"

whooooo hooooooo

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"sadly these types of threads albeit with good intent just lead to subtle pops at people and there is little difference to the 'cliques' that are referenced.

Nooooo... that would never happen would it?"

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

I love rolos, dam I need to go get some now

are we sharing then?

aye go on, deal

whooooo hooooooo

am watching Downton, then will head off to Tesco

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

You won't want to share this big cock I have here then?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

You won't want to share this big cock I have here then?

aye ok... any pics and is it veiny....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" or share the same kind of humour or _iews.

I share nothing

meanie - where's the last rolo

I love rolos, dam I need to go get some now

are we sharing then?

aye go on, deal

whooooo hooooooo

am watching Downton, then will head off to Tesco"

okies - will wait

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

So in your wisdom you starting a thread about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan"

here here or is it hear hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan

here here or is it hear hear

Minxie...smack bum...I can't HEAR you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan

here here or is it hear hear

Minxie...smack bum...I can't HEAR you

what is today - smack Minxie's bum day or something????

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan"

Someone, joined the forums and i took an instant dislike too, and have to say kept them at arms length. Met them at a social and lets just say the rest is history, not sure id know what to do without them now. I love being proved wrong for the right reasons

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 11/11/12 18:42:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan

here here or is it hear hear

Minxie...smack bum...I can't HEAR you

what is today - smack Minxie's bum day or something????

Isn't that every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been virtual chin wagging with someone today and the topic of the forums came up. They've been on site a while and said the main reason I'd probably never seen them in here is because when they first joined they found the whole thing a bit ...... Wait for it........ "Cliquey" !!!!!!

Now as an occasional (*cough) poster myself I've only just noticed that the dreaded 'C' word doesn't appear to have reared its ugly head of late!!

Or has admin just sneakily added the 'C' word to the list of things that can't be typed in the forums?

I - for one - fervently hope it's the former!!!!

I find it to be clique at times, and sometimes nervous to post for fear of repercussions. But, hey, still here giving it a try lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best for me is being proven wrong about someone, I am quick to judge and decide if I warm to someone or not...

there is someone when they started posting, I wasn't sure.. but

I have watched over the last few months this person demonstrate fairness, kindness, objectivity and most of all dignity.

He has brought fun to the forums with an honourable intent and deserved his award on Friday.

well done Ryan

here here or is it hear hear

Minxie...smack bum...I can't HEAR you

what is today - smack Minxie's bum day or something????

Isn't that every day

Its getting a little public now though

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Now as an occasional (*cough) poster myself I've only just noticed that the dreaded 'C' word doesn't appear to have reared its ugly head of late!!

Or has admin just sneakily added the 'C' word to the list of things that can't be typed in the forums?

I - for one - fervently hope it's the former!!!!

I find it to be clique at times, and sometimes nervous to post for fear of repercussions. But, hey, still here giving it a try lol"

it must be for some new posters, welcome

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

well done Ryan"

Thank you View

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Biggest issue with forums are similar to that of txt. The meaning and way it would be said are completley lost which leads to all sorts of fun and games.

Got to take everything you read with a pinch of salt and hey we don't get on with every single person we meet in the "real" world so why should a forum be any different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I can't be arsed with reading through all of the thread so apologies if I'm repeating things others have said.

YES there are cliques, who gives a damn though, really? It is occasionally annoying but then realizing people have formed cliques with others on a website isn't going to rule or ruin that moment in my life, I have a little bit of pity and very small amount of disdain for those I perceive to be in cliques. I'm not judgmental though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I came here to find casual sex with local people, I found a whole host of people from all corners of the country who I found fun, friendly and as crackers as me.

Now I come here for the people on the forums and found an outlet where I can be me, without being judged.

As with all things in life, it is what you make it, cliques only exist in your mind if you want it to, people are generally receptive to new people if they have something interesting or funny to share, if you don't people won't talk to you here or in the real world.

Thank you all for being here, there and everywhere, and for putting up with my inane ramblings and thread hijackings

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So in your wisdom you starting a thread about it.

Yep!

Thought it was about time - and since - as some have said they too have noticed an improvement, and several new posters have stepped forward to say they've been made to feel very welcome - I figured it was best to have an open chat on the subject!

Been driving the last 2 hrs - hence I haven't responded much to my own post - but I've just read back and have to say I'm pleasantly surprised!! I definitely feel its a much friendlier and more approachable place than this time last year - and that in my book is all good!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So in your wisdom you starting a thread about it.

Yep!

Absolutely, so when we going for a beer then

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I wouldn't speak too soon if I were you and I am guessing you didn't see the posts that have been removed then.

Either way, let's hope it doesn't go any more pear shaped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am relatively new to the forums. I have been made to feel welcome and have been comforted in tough times, been given advice in confused times, long may it continue,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me I came here to find casual sex with local people, I found a whole host of people from all corners of the country who I found fun, friendly and as crackers as me.

Now I come here for the people on the forums and found an outlet where I can be me, without being judged.

Thank you all for being here, there and everywhere, and for putting up with my inane ramblings and thread hijackings

awwww I feel a song coming on ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not been in the forums that mch bt find the chat rooms far more clicky than the forum"

I'll go with that, I enjoy the forums and even post occassionally but the chat rooms now they are very clicky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me I came here to find casual sex with local people, I found a whole host of people from all corners of the country who I found fun, friendly and as crackers as me.

Now I come here for the people on the forums and found an outlet where I can be me, without being judged.

Thank you all for being here, there and everywhere, and for putting up with my inane ramblings and thread hijackings

awwww I feel a song coming on ......

*strikes up the band, clears throat*

oh it's beginning.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me I came here to find casual sex with local people, I found a whole host of people from all corners of the country who I found fun, friendly and as crackers as me.

Now I come here for the people on the forums and found an outlet where I can be me, without being judged.

Thank you all for being here, there and everywhere, and for putting up with my inane ramblings and thread hijackings

awwww I feel a song coming on ......

Starting to feel alot like chridtmas, dum de dum de dum

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I find that people will either interact or they won't. It's similar to everyday life and in normal clubs and societies that hold meetings there are little subgroups among people who share like interests and people who mill around between them. It all seems perfectly healthy to be honest. Some make more noise than others so I can see why some tend to think it's the 'same old faces', but then better not to criticise but participate

It's hard initially getting known anywhere, but given time and the willingness to mix then I'm sure people do get to know you, so really to expect too much in too little time would be wrong. We've been here for two years now, and to be honest I find the forums entertaining and informative in many ways.

Forum social would be a good idea if the organising diehards are listening

Wolf

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I wouldn't speak too soon if I were you and I am guessing you didn't see the posts that have been removed then.

Either way, let's hope it doesn't go any more pear shaped."

Must learn to pay better attention. I didn't notice any posts that required removing

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Just as well you are not the mod then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't speak too soon if I were you and I am guessing you didn't see the posts that have been removed then.

Either way, let's hope it doesn't go any more pear shaped."

That'll teach me to start something and tie myself up for a couple of hours!!

Oh we'll - looks ok now - and hopefully anything you pulled will make the remaining responses more welcoming to new posters and lurkers!

I have every faith in you mods - well - you get plenty of practice!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

For what it's worth the whole thread should be pulled.

Only a politician could say this thread is working toward a positive anti clique stance. Quite the reverse.

It's like saying that you haven't heard any bombs drop lately so let's drop one.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

is that what you imagine HPC and ruggers wear when in mod mode??

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

is that what you imagine HPC and ruggers wear when in mod mode??

And a green fishtail parka

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would I know?

I'm part of the clique

Freudian slip?

Freud? Me a fraud? I wouldn't have nothing to do with frauds.

Wanna buy a Rolex for a tenner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For what it's worth the whole thread should be pulled.

Only a politician could say this thread is working toward a positive anti clique stance. Quite the reverse.

It's like saying that you haven't heard any bombs drop lately so let's drop one. "

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!"

Is it Agadoo??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!"

Woohooo... Sensy's back...!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ....

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!"

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ...."

Out of interest. What sort of things / topics do you think should be discussed in the forum lounge?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ...."
A prodigy fan......welcome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!

You haven't heard it?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!

You haven't heard it?

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ....

Out of interest. What sort of things / topics do you think should be discussed in the forum lounge? "

Good question!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!

You haven't heard it?

Nope"

Search for it on you tube

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!

Woohooo... Sensy's back...!!

For a split second my spirits lifted.....Cruel Cruel Joke Euro

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ...."

There is all the evidence we need ! Someone said someone elses name!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Just as well you are not the mod then

I used to wear white towelling socks, loafers and stay press trousers when I was 16 if that helps

Were you the wanker with white socks on? Now I feel a song coming on!

You haven't heard it?

Nope

Search for it on you tube "

Ahhhh Ivor Biggun

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ...."

Lets not confuse Cliqueness with Sycophancy now......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ...."

I can see where this poster is coming from, threads like this do make the forums appear clique and exclusive.

I personally ignore threads like this and only read and participate in threads that interest me.

From what I can see Obi opened a thread asking if the forums were clique, the above poster said yes, his/her opinion, that they are fully entitled to, others disagree with their comment, again fully entitled to, but doesn't alter _iew that its thread like forum awards (harmless fun I agree) that can appear exclusive and off putting to newbies who might have otherwise considered joining the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ....

I can see where this poster is coming from, threads like this do make the forums appear clique and exclusive.

I personally ignore threads like this and only read and participate in threads that interest me.

I guess the lesson here - and I can see the point being made - is that some forum users, myself included, are guilty of using the Lounge in particular as an alternative to the chat rooms. Thus creating a perception that its a 'private chat' rather than an open forum for all. Whether that's because some of us don't like the speed of the chat rooms, the occasional user that's just there to get their rocks off, or for whatever reason - I can see how this would be off-putting.

Will it change? I doubt it - and I don't necessarily think it needs to a great deal. But would love to see more new users joining in. Most of the time you'll actually find, even if its not apparent, that many so called forum 'regulars' have never met - and never will! The Lounge, in a way, is their 'comfort zone' - but that doesn't ever meAn its not open to all equally!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I post now and then sometimes I get noticed others not lol doesn't really bother me too much its just nice to voice my opinion now and then lol I find the vid chat rooms very c***** lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this will be said by people in every aspects of life from school to being a mum/dad at the school gates, work, however have always been happy to post comments on the forums find them interesting to read, find the majority of posters to be helpful, kind and fun in their responses, think its just the case of people not wanting to take the plunge and join in from fear of being rejected but hey ho if you don't dive in how will u get wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion it because we are all here for the same reason and by being open enough to come on this site for whatever reason you do it makes you a little more open minded than the average person therefore less judgement x

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I agree with what Obi is saying re the chat side of things. The difference being this can be extended over several days rather than having to sit behind your keyboard. Obviously not all users like this, which is why I try and restrict most of my posts to the lounge, rather than the dedicated boards. It would be a pretty sorry place if we couldn't refer to anyone by name though lol. In my opinion the more newbies joining in the better

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have spoken to people who tell me that they don't understand the forum, particularly the Lounge. It's not what they are here for and their time on the site is spent seeking meets.

I have communications with people who read the fora but never post.

Some people post for effect. Some people post for the companioniship.

The allegation of cliques will always be there and sometimes many of us are guilty of perpetuating that behaviour. I prefer to think it's a community and when Doris is laid up ill and needs a pint of milk someone will pop out to the shops for her. I choose to avoid the warty old man at the end of the street because he throws rocks when I walk by. It's nice when the bunting comes out and we have a street party. Some people look through their windows and complain about the noise. Some get baking and organising the games. Others just stop by for an hour and leave before the clearing up.

Join in, or not, in whichever way you want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annual Fab Forum Awards, Minxie is getting, Pestering Ms Polo, Paging Cute & Sassy, Morning Ryan, OMG Bussy, Mr Fab 2012, Miss Fab 2012. I could go on. No, of course the forums aren't cliquey ....

I can see where this poster is coming from, threads like this do make the forums appear clique and exclusive.

I personally ignore threads like this and only read and participate in threads that interest me.

Yes. It wasn't really a complaint, just an observation that needed pointing out. No doubt I would do exactly the same if I knew a lot of people on here. And I do enjoy reading the banter, it is mostly funny. But it will put newbies off (or at least the nervous ones). I agree that forums have improved a lot and are a lot more friendly. There are a few new people on here lately too. Would be nice to get a lot more people on here. And to answer Ryan, I think everything under the sun is covered on forums, so no complaints there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now as an occasional (*cough) poster myself I've only just noticed that the dreaded 'C' word doesn't appear to have reared its ugly head of late!!

Or has admin just sneakily added the 'C' word to the list of things that can't be typed in the forums?

I - for one - fervently hope it's the former!!!!

I am fairly new to the forums and I'm afraid I do find them a little bit cliquey. I guess it's because folks have known each other a while but endless quoting of each others posts and private jokes do put me off from posting sometimes. I understand that it is prob not the intention of the posters but it does.

I started posting in the forums hoping to maybe make some friends and have chats with likeminded people but it hasn't worked out that way at all.

Please don't jump down my throat - I'm not having a go - just expressing my opinion

L xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now as an occasional (*cough) poster myself I've only just noticed that the dreaded 'C' word doesn't appear to have reared its ugly head of late!!

Or has admin just sneakily added the 'C' word to the list of things that can't be typed in the forums?

I - for one - fervently hope it's the former!!!!

I started posting in the forums hoping to maybe make some friends and have chats with likeminded people but it hasn't worked out that way at all.

Please don't jump down my throat - I'm not having a go - just expressing my opinion

L xx"

Hi L !

Sorry it hasn't worked out (so far!) how you expected!! Please crack on with posting - say hi to one and all and jump in whenever you like!

Hopefully some of us regulars will take on board the feedback of the newer posters ( that was my intention with this thread! ) and you'll feel a bit more welcome from now on!!!

A x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now as an occasional (*cough) poster myself I've only just noticed that the dreaded 'C' word doesn't appear to have reared its ugly head of late!!

Or has admin just sneakily added the 'C' word to the list of things that can't be typed in the forums?

I - for one - fervently hope it's the former!!!!

I started posting in the forums hoping to maybe make some friends and have chats with likeminded people but it hasn't worked out that way at all.

Please don't jump down my throat - I'm not having a go - just expressing my opinion

L xx

Hi L !

Sorry it hasn't worked out (so far!) how you expected!! Please crack on with posting - say hi to one and all and jump in whenever you like!

Hopefully some of us regulars will take on board the feedback of the newer posters ( that was my intention with this thread! ) and you'll feel a bit more welcome from now on!!!

A x

Thanks A

Now how do I go about getting some naked ironing done

L xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I would just like to point out that I posted my comment from my singles profile as I was a bit nervous as to how it would be received from my usual couples profile. Seems to have been well received though, so all good

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"i think it is clickey or whatever you wanna call it. Dont think its a bad thing mind. Its just easier for me to avoid a group of people and their friends that way lol

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I would hate to be in a clique that would accept me in their clique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I started posting I didn't know anyone. I just posted anyway. Sometimes I got nice comments, sometimes I got abuse, sometimes I got ignored.

It's still the same really. I just carry on quite happily.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Yo Dawgs!

I hear y'all like cliques?

So listen, I made a clique inside your clique so you can clique inside your cliques! FUCK YEAH!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

we ain't going to please everyone and if I am honest, I have zero intent to.

it's a laugh most of the time, when it is not.... I watch the telly

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"we ain't going to please everyone and if I am honest, I have zero intent to.

it's a laugh most of the time, when it is not.... I watch the telly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And I would just like to point out that I posted my comment from my singles profile as I was a bit nervous as to how it would be received from my usual couples profile. Seems to have been well received though, so all good

sometimes i do often wonder what it would be like to be annonymous for a day or two.. would i be treated any different in regards to how people reply to my threads etc if they didnt know it was me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only recently started reading and posting on here and haven't had any adverse reaction that I've noticed. Compared to other forums I've been on in the past seems quite friendly and relaxed to me. Yeah people have 'in-jokes' but that doesn't bother me. Like someone already said, you get that everywhere.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've only recently started reading and posting on here and haven't had any adverse reaction that I've noticed. Compared to other forums I've been on in the past seems quite friendly and relaxed to me. Yeah people have 'in-jokes' but that doesn't bother me. Like someone already said, you get that everywhere. "

Welcome. Give it time and/or say something daft and you'll get some lovely adverse reactions. Enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome. Give it time and/or say something daft and you'll get some lovely adverse reactions. Enjoy.

Thanks I'll have to think of some daft things to post then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people only find it cliquey when they rub up the groups of people that do come over like that the wrong way. Not had that problem myself so no problems with certain cliques all knowing each other better. Doesn't stop me joining in on topics I want to. Some people just find it intimidating I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think people only find it cliquey when they rub up the groups of people that do come over like that the wrong way. Not had that problem myself so no problems with certain cliques all knowing each other better. Doesn't stop me joining in on topics I want to. Some people just find it intimidating I guess."

I don't have a problem with the clique types, but I can see why it might deter people from posting.

I'll continue to post, hopefully in a way that doesn't scare others off

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