FabSwingers.com forum: Apparently I'm not cunty enough.

By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

So I was told by a friend a while ago that I'm too nice and need to be more cunty. He thinks that's the reason I get fucked over so much, but it's not in my nature to be cunty and as ive aged I've just come to the realisation that the people that do fuck me over are cunts themselves.

Also what's wrong with been kind and chill, isn't that what most people want in a partner/friend ?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Just be yourself.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Treat them mean keep them keen is a saying for a reason

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By *appytaffWoman
over a year ago

blackwood

"So I was told by a friend a while ago that I'm too nice and need to be more cunty. He thinks that's the reason I get fucked over so much, but it's not in my nature to be cunty and as ive aged I've just come to the realisation that the people that do fuck me over are cunts themselves.

Also what's wrong with been kind and chill, isn't that what most people want in a partner/friend ?"

Totally just be your self - there’s too many horrible people in the world as it is

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

You can be a nice, chill person and still stand up for yourself when being treated unfairly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be you.

Why anyone would try to be a cunt I've no idea.

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"Just be you.

Why anyone would try to be a cunt I've no idea. "

I don't think I could if I tried.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just be you.

Why anyone would try to be a cunt I've no idea.

I don't think I could if I tried."

Don't try! Just be you, and stay away from the cunty people

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"Just be you.

Why anyone would try to be a cunt I've no idea.

I don't think I could if I tried.

Don't try! Just be you, and stay away from the cunty people "

I always seem to end up finding them, thinking they are OK then it just all blows up. It's kind of funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be yourself. There’s too much unkindness in the world already. Your mate sounds like a tosser if he’s encouraging cuntish behaviour.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

No woman I know would want a man to be cunty towards them

Treat people how you yourself would like to be treated

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't be a pushover but continue to be nice but understand that being nice doesn't entitle you to anything. Complaining that being nice is a disadvantage always makes me wonder what people think nice is.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Just be yourself OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just be yourself. "

^ this. Don’t stop being who you are to get your dick wet. As ever Lisa hits the nail on the head

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"Be yourself. There’s too much unkindness in the world already. Your mate sounds like a tosser if he’s encouraging cuntish behaviour. "

He's a good soul he's just had to put up with a lot of crap in his life. He's helped me a lot in recent months.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

I don't know what "nice" even means...it's such a generic term. I know that being kind and respectful is never a bad thing...but that includes being respectful towards yourself! Don't allow people to treat you horrible or in a disrespectful manner! Have boundaries!

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

The belief that people want someone to be an ass is pervasive and toxic.

Just be you. Treat others as you want to be treated and find those that treat you well

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think I need to take your friends advice! x

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By *oodoodMan
over a year ago

Suffolk / Essex borders

[Removed by poster at 16/06/22 10:22:37]

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"I don't know what "nice" even means...it's such a generic term. I know that being kind and respectful is never a bad thing...but that includes being respectful towards yourself! Don't allow people to treat you horrible or in a disrespectful manner! Have boundaries!"

I think that's one of my problems I find it difficult to set them as I worry I'll offend someone if I say that's not OK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also what's wrong with been kind and chill, isn't that what most people want in a partner/friend ?"

been told that many a time but I am who I am and like myself for it!

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By *oodoodMan
over a year ago

Suffolk / Essex borders

Your friend sounds like a bit of a dick as well as being 'cunty'

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

Sometimes people confuse putting boundaries in place as being “cunty”.

You can still be a kind person but put boundaries in place which protect you and keep you safe. Especially if you find that you’re more likely to be emotionally vulnerable than others. Though to be honest I think having healthy boundaries in life is generally good advice.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think most people believe themselves to be nice even when they are far from it.Even the nastiest person will find reasons that justify their behaviour and see themselves as being a nice person. I am always wary of people who need to tell others they are nice because usually they are the opposite.And this is not aimed at you OP I don't know you it's just what I have found both on here and in life outside of here.

All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either.

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"I think most people believe themselves to be nice even when they are far from it.Even the nastiest person will find reasons that justify their behaviour and see themselves as being a nice person. I am always wary of people who need to tell others they are nice because usually they are the opposite.And this is not aimed at you OP I don't know you it's just what I have found both on here and in life outside of here.

All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. "

I understand that I don't go around tell people hey look I'm a nice guy, we all have our moments of madness and do or say things we shouldn't. I just wanted to see other people's opinions.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

The trick is to know your worth and not let people take advantage of your kindness.

Only give to people that deserve to receive and cut off leaches.

Definitely never any need to be cunty or change your ways because things aren't coming your way, just be patient.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Nice

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

It’s probably not to be more cunty but put your needs ahead.

I suggest to read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. See if resonate with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the word nice. It tells me nothing.

Do you feel you are walked over and are happy with your life ?

A few years ago I probably would have said I'm a "nice guy". It meant I didn't set boundaries. I also came to realise that I was doing "nice things" but expecting a pay off. Just the other person didn't know this.

Paying for lunch is a nice gesture. Only if you expect nothing in return. And don't then hold it against that person when they say they can't give you a lift to work.

I agree when people say be you. I'd add, aim each day to be a better version of you. Which sometimes means change.

Don't be a cunt tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is born cunty, life and people do that to you. Most of the time it's a defence mechanism to treat people like shit rather than love to avoid being hurt. Don't let someone else's actions decide who you are.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Paying for lunch is a nice gesture. Only if you expect nothing in return. And don't then hold it against that person when they say they can't give you a lift to work.

This is so true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I don't have it in me to be a cunt, sometimes I wish I could do,as I have been shat on too many times.

End of the day I am how I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. "

Yep, I agree with this. Instant red flag for me if someone describes themself as a 'nice guy'...

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Don't be a pushover but continue to be nice but understand that being nice doesn't entitle you to anything. Complaining that being nice is a disadvantage always makes me wonder what people think nice is."

I agree

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Ive been shafted in business and in my private life way more than i care to remember - but fuck it is my attitude - I don’t do revenge or grudges because its just so negative - ilifes about balance so in a world full of cnuts - we need nice guys for balance … just be you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes people confuse putting boundaries in place as being “cunty”.

Thai is really great advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Treat them mean keep them keen is a saying for a reason "

Urgh

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I also think being too eager can be an issue as it can invite a certain type of person to take advantage of you and may scare away others.

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"I also think being too eager can be an issue as it can invite a certain type of person to take advantage of you and may scare away others."

Probably very true of me, hard to change a habit of a lifetime though.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

You’re from Scunthorpe- it’s so cunty that it often gets censored by applications for its rude cuntyness filled name, just rejoice in that

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If you take the cunt out of Scunthorpe you're left with Sthorpe.

Think of the cost of changing all the signs.....

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By *urious-Switch81 OP Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"You’re from Scunthorpe- it’s so cunty that it often gets censored by applications for its rude cuntyness filled name, just rejoice in that

Lol wasn't born here though spent the first 30 years of ky life in York.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Treat them mean keep them keen is a saying for a reason "

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Treat them mean keep them keen is a saying for a reason

Roll your eyes all you want, you think every woman these days has a long list of fuck boy issues because they don’t kinda like that stuff?

It’s a saying for a reason, if it didn’t hold some truth it wouldn’t be a saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you can do is be yourself why would you want to change to suit others. You can be a decent person without being nasty to others.But you don't have to be a pushover either. "

spot on. Everyone thinks that they are nice. Or the good one. Or have the ‘right’ opinions and are on the right side of history etc, the fact is nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws, and our perception of right and wrong might be the polar opposite of somebody else’s (who also believe that it’s THEM that’s the nice one).

Just be true to yourself, live what you believe to be your best life in your own way, but in doing so be wary of the consequences of your actions / behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just be yourself. "
this!! its you that has to wake up with your self every day ! xxx the rest would be lucky to do so!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I was dumped by my first girlfriend at 2 mins before midnight on NYE and her parting words were "you're too nice" before she snogged the local bad boy.

It made me consider my entire attitude and demeanour but I couldn't be something I'm not.

I worked in management for 25 years and was told a few times I was a pushover by my bosses but they failed to see that I didn't manage by fear and the staff all responded positively to me and we never failed to hit targets.

I prefer to let my actions speak louder than my words.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"You’re from Scunthorpe- it’s so cunty that it often gets censored by applications for its rude cuntyness filled name, just rejoice in that

Lol wasn't born here though spent the first 30 years of ky life in York."

See, its true! you weren't born cunty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And the winner for most uses of the word cunt in a single thread goes to........

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