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Would you talk about your ex on a first date??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Throwing it out there

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Probably... I had alot of life experiences with him, including having a son why wouldn't I?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Only if they asked, and I'd make it brief.

Can't see anyone asking though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Only if they asked, and I'd make it brief.

Can't see anyone asking though."
ditto

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton


"Probably... I had alot of life experiences with him, including having a son why wouldn't I? "

I wouldn't waffle on all night though... He isn't that interesting tbf

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

No

As its a first date this is about you and her.

Seeing how you both fit together.

Theres no need to ask about there exes, As much as I wouldnt expect them to ask about mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Probably no need to. They have passed and I've moved on. I'll be interested in the date and the future

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Think I'd ask about theirs first then continue with mine some times you can find some common ground

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By *TDHGentMan
over a year ago

Worcs

A touch of psychoanalysis, test their sense of humour if there's non and no banter climb out the bog window and make out like Casper!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Throwing it out there "

Not on a first date. Obviously, if you started dating ex-partners is bound to come up in conversation. On the first date? No way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, not unless they ask and then I wouldn't go in to detail. But I have nothing bad to say about any of my exs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No my ex was a narcissist asshat. I don't draw baggage into another relationship.its unfair to the person you trying to have a relationship with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe. Maybe not. If it’s relevant I don’t see why talking about your past is that bad, I’m might be trying to find out about them too.

What am going to do? Get jealous?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're talking about your ex, obviously not in the right head space for dating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're talking about your ex, obviously not in the right head space for dating."

So where did you go on your lady holiday?

USA

Who with?

I can’t tell you that?

Sounds daft doesn’t it?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Yes.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Generally no I don’t think you should talk about a ex on a first date but if there are children involved then the subject is bound to come up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d rather talk about *HER* ex.

Like, is he an ex-Royal Marine that is likely to come around and break my legs in a jealous rage or whatnot..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if they asked ….

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I have done. Not in detail, but I was married for 13 years so it's not like that's a trivial thing to avoid talking about.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Only in that we remained friends, despite how she treated me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yh possibly everyone got baggage previous experienced they like to share but would draw line about any sexual referemces

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"Only in that we remained friends, despite how she treated me."

Oh and that in still dealing with the scars. It's better to be upfront about these things so that they know what they are getting into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well she was a significant part of my life for the last 20 years, we've two kids and we still need to be in contact, I honestly can't see how she wouldn't come up in conversation somewhere. Just as long as you're not banging on about how wonderful, beautiful, attractive or whatever they are it should be fine.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No. First dates are about finding compatability, don't want to reveal all my personal details and we don't get on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well she was a significant part of my life for the last 20 years, we've two kids and we still need to be in contact, I honestly can't see how she wouldn't come up in conversation somewhere. Just as long as you're not banging on about how wonderful, beautiful, attractive or whatever they are it should be fine."

26 yrs. I win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well she was a significant part of my life for the last 20 years, we've two kids and we still need to be in contact, I honestly can't see how she wouldn't come up in conversation somewhere. Just as long as you're not banging on about how wonderful, beautiful, attractive or whatever they are it should be fine.

26 yrs. I win.

"

Christ! Did you get extra time for bad behaviour or something?

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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

Only if asked, I wouldn't bring it up per se.

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

As a young 20 something, I had a date talk about her ex, it got a little annoying when she repeated the same thing a little later in the night, how he made her want for nothing.

Apparently charming her with the words “just shut up and kiss me” was all it took to get her to stop.

We had a few dates afterwards but a distance relationship wasn’t on the cards for me at that point.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I'd try to minimise it, but if relevant, yes.

I might also refer to "an ex", implying that it was more historic than the last one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well she was a significant part of my life for the last 20 years, we've two kids and we still need to be in contact, I honestly can't see how she wouldn't come up in conversation somewhere. Just as long as you're not banging on about how wonderful, beautiful, attractive or whatever they are it should be fine.

26 yrs. I win.

Christ! Did you get extra time for bad behaviour or something? "

I know, that’ll teach me to let someone tie me to a bed.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Sure, if it came up naturally.

Having rules about what a conversation can be about is just going to limit how open you can be with someone.

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By *mwirralMan
over a year ago

wirral

If it comes up i have no issue with it, wouldn't be the primary topic of conversation

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

If I was asked a question regarding my ex, I would answer it, wouldn't go into much detail.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Depends on where the conversation goes. I wouldn't bring them up but I'm 48 years of age so it's pretty obvious I have some there in the background and shouldn't come as a shock to anyone.

It wouldn't put me off if the person I was meeting brought their ex up anecdotally, I think I'd only have an issue if the ex was their main topic of conversation or if it was obvious they are still working through major issues with their previous relationships. I want to spend time with them, not with them and their ex.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

The last date I went on my ex husband was in the pub. He never goes out or drinks. We get on really well and see him most days because of my son. Anyway he comes up to me and starts chatting. He found it funny I didn't

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I think I'd like to know if a few of them had died in mysterious circumstances

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

It depends on the context but unlikely, and I certainly wouldn’t be bigging them up or singing their praises. As others have said, if necessary keep it brief and cordial

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"If you're talking about your ex, obviously not in the right head space for dating."

That's a useful red flag if they make a lot of references to an ex when you've not even asked (...children aside)

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

I did on my first date with my husband. But then I talked about lots of things about where I was in life and what I was looking for.

We both talked about how our past experiences had shaped who were were and more importantly, what we did and didn't want out of a relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I did on my first date with my husband. But then I talked about lots of things about where I was in life and what I was looking for.

We both talked about how our past experiences had shaped who were were and more importantly, what we did and didn't want out of a relationship."

This is what I would do if I god forbid, ever dated again.

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By *urious-Switch81Man
over a year ago

Heanor


"Throwing it out there "

Only if the subject came up but I had 8 years and 3 children with her so she would always come up at some point especially when it's my turn to have my boys.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Which one?

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Never specifically, but if something came up in conversation it might mean a passing mention about an ex and an experience we had together. But certainly wouldn't Labour the point. Equally wouldn't avoid it. We all have history and out experiences make us who we are today.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

If they ask about my last relationship, yes... probably, but depends on the question as well, if they ask something personal or intimate, than no, I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes if they asked

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

If it came up in conversation yes, we all have a past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it came up in conversation yes, we all have a past"

I agree with this. Like, I've had conversations about past terrible dates for example,

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"I think I'd like to know if a few of them had died in mysterious circumstances "

When you say "a few", is that as a proportion of the overall total?

Asking for a friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I wouldn't bring up the subject but if he asked I would talk about it. Why wouldn't you?

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

No chance the bitch took my daughter

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

If they asked me a direct question then yes.

Otherwise no.

The ones that bang on about their ex on dates are usually the ones that haven’t moved on fully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're talking about your ex, obviously not in the right head space for dating."

Exactly why I won’t date.

If they asked about my ex I’d cry and leave as I miss him terribly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We work together. And have 2 kids. I’d talk about what I did, but not mention her by name

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By *ymster10Man
over a year ago

Ellesmere Port

Interesting question

If you already know the person in question , I’m guessing their going to know a bit about your past over previous small talk “ are you married , partner single , etc “.. This leading to the date obviously..!

if they then ask on the date about your previous relationship, you can tell them something about it .. Wasn’t right for either of you leading to more when you feel comfortable to talk more about it , and then hammer them for what their worth .. Making your new Muse feeling totally wonderful about themselves, that your not going back ..

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I wouldn’t actively bring up the subject of my ex but wouldn’t avoid talking about him though would keep it brief.

We have children together and so he will always be part of my life.

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