FabSwingers.com forum: Clingy men and texting

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wondering, what is it with SOME men who seem to be so clingy and needy when it comes to texting?

Either bombarding on WhatsApp , and even having the CHEEK to point out “are you like this with just me?” Or “okay I give up” (so dramatic!!!)

What the actual fuck.

Also may I say, how is it that eventually the energy shifts when it’s the one you want, and then u suddenly become the chaser?? And they are the ones taking hella forever to reply… how does it even happen?

Tho I must say, I never over text (maybe out of pride or cos I wanna appear like the chill girl) as I find it clingy as, so I tend to wait for their move… but that’s just me

It does get on my tits tho when you have those bombarding messages, I must say.

Which one are you? Do u bombard with messages ? Or are you super chill?

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

It does swing both ways, as you allude to.

One the chaser, the other the chased.

It's only when you find someone that's equally as keen as you are that there's a balance. Be that you both message regular because you want to or that you are equally aloof and not too fussed.

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By *edwayman94Man
over a year ago

Gillingham

I’m same as you. Just super chill, don’t need to bombard with messages. Just catch up when you’re catch up lol x

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Pretty chill. I tend to go by if I was the last one to message I won’t message again.

Depends how well I know them though. One I bombard but he likes it as it’s usually pics to distract him working

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Relationships these days are just a competition on who can treat who the worst until someone breaks. Playing these silly “3 hours between txting” games. It’s sad, but it’s more sad that they work

Turn off your read receipts and turn off your last online status. They offer nothing but drama

You can text a lot without it being clingy. Find that guy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It does swing both ways, as you allude to.

One the chaser, the other the chased.

It's only when you find someone that's equally as keen as you are that there's a balance. Be that you both message regular because you want to or that you are equally aloof and not too fussed.

So true!! Couldn’t have said it better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Relationships these days are just a competition on who can treat who the worst until someone breaks. Playing these silly “3 hours between txting” games. It’s sad, but it’s more sad that they work

Turn off your read receipts and turn off your last online status. They offer nothing but drama

You can text a lot without it being clingy. Find that guy. "

Totally , I agree u can definitely text a lot without being clingy. Just finding the right balance and the right person who can match that

Btw don’t get me started on the

“Sorry for disappearing”

No you are not sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk. I text with things appropriate to say. It might be a lot, or a little.

Clingy? I might appear that way to someone who doesn’t know me enough.

Bombard? Only when we are talking. Because I can send about 28 messages in a couple of minutes as I’m bantering with myself.

Am I chill? Yes and no. If you do t reply? Sure, reply when you want to. But I reply pretty much straight away, I’ve always got my phone with me. So why not?

*into the complicated mind of Woody.

Op, you sound exactly like you have the type of thoughts I’d expect to be going through a woman’s mind if I’m just starting to get to know them too.

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By *mMrbrightsideMan
over a year ago

wakefield

I reply when Iv got the chance, if I’m busy at work I’ll txt at lunch or when Iv got 5 mins if it’s in the evening and there’s jack shit on tv then I could be having a proper conversation as it were. I tend to wait for a reply and if I don’t hear anything back after a day I forget it and move on. I did message a girl on here who refused to message back unless she’s got a message first and wouldn’t orchestrate a message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Op, you sound exactly like you have the type of thoughts I’d expect to be going through a woman’s mind if I’m just starting to get to know them too.

I mean the reality of the situation is that if I’m taking ages to reply, or I’m lazy about it… it’s an indication that yeah I may like the guy, but maybe I’m just not THAT into them.

But it does get on my tits when I get told like

“Why are you being like this”

“You have time for that but not time to text me back”

Like , I may think that about some guys who I’ve been into and interested , do I go out of my way to let them know?

OVER MY DEAD BODY. They aren’t getting that satisfaction …

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Op, you sound exactly like you have the type of thoughts I’d expect to be going through a woman’s mind if I’m just starting to get to know them too.

I mean the reality of the situation is that if I’m taking ages to reply, or I’m lazy about it… it’s an indication that yeah I may like the guy, but maybe I’m just not THAT into them.

But it does get on my tits when I get told like

“Why are you being like this”

“You have time for that but not time to text me back”

Like , I may think that about some guys who I’ve been into and interested , do I go out of my way to let them know?

OVER MY DEAD BODY. They aren’t getting that satisfaction …"

*correction.

All this is in the dating stage.

If I secure a guy, and we have an issue then I’d let him know what the issue is obviously

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

I agree with the other posters in that it depends on who you're messaging and the connection you have.

It's so true that the pursued becomes the pursuer!

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By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

I wouldn't say it's just a male thing, I've had clingy fuck buddies (and even people who just want to hook up) from both sexes. It's quite frustrating and off-putting really.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It's the perpetual struggle between the one who likes more and the one who likes less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Classic ownership. If you’re texting them, you can’t be texting someone else. If they then don’t reply to you, it’s all good controlling. These boys are not worth it, and are manipulative basic dudes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people just like to know where they stand. And will text more then the usual as they feel uncertain about what’s going on. Some people need a yes or a no

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with the other posters in that it depends on who you're messaging and the connection you have.

It's so true that the pursued becomes the pursuer!"

You can just fucking feel it when energy shifts. I imagine Thats how super man feels when getting close to kriptonyte …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't say it's just a male thing, I've had clingy fuck buddies (and even people who just want to hook up) from both sexes. It's quite frustrating and off-putting really."

And that’s why I try to play chill. Cos it can be off putting

I’ll show my clingy side only once I’ve locked them into a proper relationship

Surprise, bitch!

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

"I agree with the other posters in that it depends on who you're messaging and the connection you have.

It's so true that the pursued becomes the pursuer!

You can just fucking feel it when energy shifts. I imagine Thats how super man feels when getting close to kriptonyte …

And there's nothing he can do to prevent his powerlessness

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

Those sarcy comments just kill me. I can’t deal with them . Stop!!

I am an avoider tho so, I tend to leave it as it is rather than block and delete. As options are options

Omg I sound like a total fuck boy

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm way too chill to think about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with the other posters in that it depends on who you're messaging and the connection you have.

It's so true that the pursued becomes the pursuer!

You can just fucking feel it when energy shifts. I imagine Thats how super man feels when getting close to kriptonyte …

And there's nothing he can do to prevent his powerlessness

Exactly. The worst feeling

And you wonder how you even got in that place, being a super hero in the first place!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm way too chill to think about it

We like that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, you sound exactly like you have the type of thoughts I’d expect to be going through a woman’s mind if I’m just starting to get to know them too.

I mean the reality of the situation is that if I’m taking ages to reply, or I’m lazy about it… it’s an indication that yeah I may like the guy, but maybe I’m just not THAT into them.

…….."

In figure that with all the deleted unread messages I’ve sent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm way too chill to think about it

And yet you worry about your beard….

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

Those sarcy comments just kill me. I can’t deal with them . Stop!!

I am an avoider tho so, I tend to leave it as it is rather than block and delete. As options are options

Omg I sound like a total fuck boy

That’s just an awful thing to do. To both of you. Just awful

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I'm way too chill to think about it

And yet you worry about your beard…."

That's a major thing

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Turn off your read receipts and turn off your last online status. They offer nothing but drama

You can text a lot without it being clingy. Find that guy. "

Agreed but this is what social media has created unfortunately, a lot of toxic people.

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

Super chill. One good morning text is more than enough then a phone call at about 8-9pm anymore than that is just ridiculous

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Op, you sound exactly like you have the type of thoughts I’d expect to be going through a woman’s mind if I’m just starting to get to know them too.

I mean the reality of the situation is that if I’m taking ages to reply, or I’m lazy about it… it’s an indication that yeah I may like the guy, but maybe I’m just not THAT into them.

……..

In figure that with all the deleted unread messages I’ve sent.

Sowwy I literally am swamped on fab and 99% of messages I don’t even open . It ain’t personal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

Those sarcy comments just kill me. I can’t deal with them . Stop!!

I am an avoider tho so, I tend to leave it as it is rather than block and delete. As options are options

Omg I sound like a total fuck boy

That’s just an awful thing to do. To both of you. Just awful "

Promise we are nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was chill then i bombarded out of fear made fear a reality now i simply dont care about anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering, what is it with SOME men who seem to be so clingy and needy when it comes to texting?

Either bombarding on WhatsApp , and even having the CHEEK to point out “are you like this with just me?” Or “okay I give up” (so dramatic!!!)

What the actual fuck.

Tho I must say, I never over text (maybe out of pride or cos I wanna appear like the chill girl) as I find it clingy as, so I tend to wait for their move… but that’s just me

It does get on my tits tho when you have those bombarding messages, I must say.

Which one are you? Do u bombard with messages ? Or are you super chill? "

This is the story of my fab life

J x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just wondering, what is it with SOME men who seem to be so clingy and needy when it comes to texting?

Either bombarding on WhatsApp , and even having the CHEEK to point out “are you like this with just me?” Or “okay I give up” (so dramatic!!!)

What the actual fuck.

Tho I must say, I never over text (maybe out of pride or cos I wanna appear like the chill girl) as I find it clingy as, so I tend to wait for their move… but that’s just me

It does get on my tits tho when you have those bombarding messages, I must say.

Which one are you? Do u bombard with messages ? Or are you super chill?

This is the story of my fab life

J x "

Glad you can relate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message once. If I get a reply whenever. I’ll respond incline. If I don’t or they stop. Couldn’t care less.

I’ll know within couple of messages if they are bothered or not.

I’m prepared to wait to find what I’m looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, you sound exactly like you have the type of thoughts I’d expect to be going through a woman’s mind if I’m just starting to get to know them too.

I mean the reality of the situation is that if I’m taking ages to reply, or I’m lazy about it… it’s an indication that yeah I may like the guy, but maybe I’m just not THAT into them.

……..

In figure that with all the deleted unread messages I’ve sent.

Sowwy I literally am swamped on fab and 99% of messages I don’t even open . It ain’t personal

Haha. It was a joke.

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By *mMrbrightsideMan
over a year ago

wakefield

"Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

Some people have lives and that should be considered, far too many men and women want everything now…..Petulant child syndrome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

Some people have lives and that should be considered, far too many men and women want everything now…..Petulant child syndrome "

Black eyed peas did a song about the ‘now generation’. But this is the age we live in.

It also takes me 10 seconds to drop a text.

It took me less than a minute to reply to this.

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I like to keep my message count down to less than a hundred a day, any more feels a bit intense and clingy….

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I'm a Chatty Cathy and don't actually mind over texting, makes my day pass a lot faster tbf

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I reply when I'm able to, regardless of when or how often they message.

Most men will bombard until you've dropped your knickers for them, then only message when their dick tells them to.

If I need a cock I'll reply.

If I really like the sex they'll get away with it, until someone better comes along.

I give up messaging men who take days to reply.

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By *aughtynottsCouple
over a year ago

Outside Nottingham

I’m super chill but bounce messages when someone’s as chatty as I am and I find them interesting or exciting. I do get annoyed with being bombarded about meeting though especially after they’ve been told we’ll invite them when we are ready.

Although when someone takes ages to reply paranoia can set in thinking was it something I said hahaha but I’ve come to realize some people aren’t that into messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a Chatty Cathy and don't actually mind over texting, makes my day pass a lot faster tbf

Best friend material right there!

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I think quite often a natural pattern of communication develops

Changes to that are what I'm alert to

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

If I want to send a text I send it, I’m not expecting a reply right away people are busy but I cannot abide ignorance, like reading a message and leaving it for hours/days without responding is just rude.

I don’t like being bombarded and I also detest the ‘you seem distracted’ line when they perhaps notice you online - we all talk to more than one person and I don’t just mean potential meets I mean friends/family etc - everything is read too much into when it’s text, it’s lack of tone can make a message seem something it isn’t and just causes more drama than necessary

I’ve know people who have driven themselves nuts sitting watching someone there interested in being online and not replying to them, spurring them to send further messages and tie themselves in knots

It’s all about communication, if your the one doing the chasing all the time you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the bother x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I want to send a text I send it, I’m not expecting a reply right away people are busy but I cannot abide ignorance, like reading a message and leaving it for hours/days without responding is just rude.

It’s all about communication, if your the one doing the chasing all the time you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the bother x

You couldn’t have put it in better words!!! I agree , especially with the last sentence x

I guess sometimes we fixate with somebody and we just want them to be a certain way cos we like them, but you are right. Is it even worth it? Shouldn’t be that hard if they like you ..

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I’m not a chaser, I’m a crap msg sender, if I’ve sent the last msg I will wait for a reply. was told yesterday I was a prick tease and had no manners, I hadn’t replied as he messaged me 2 days ago, we had only exchanged 8 msgs tops

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By *eddyBearBazMan
over a year ago

St Helens

"I’m not a chaser, I’m a crap msg sender, if I’ve sent the last msg I will wait for a reply. was told yesterday I was a prick tease and had no manners, I hadn’t replied as he messaged me 2 days ago, we had only exchanged 8 msgs tops

He must have thought after 8 messages you'd be jumping in bed with him WB

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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Just wondering, what is it with SOME men who seem to be so clingy and needy when it comes to texting?

Either bombarding on WhatsApp , and even having the CHEEK to point out “are you like this with just me?” Or “okay I give up” (so dramatic!!!)

What the actual fuck.

Tho I must say, I never over text (maybe out of pride or cos I wanna appear like the chill girl) as I find it clingy as, so I tend to wait for their move… but that’s just me

It does get on my tits tho when you have those bombarding messages, I must say.

Which one are you? Do u bombard with messages ? Or are you super chill? "

Even if I stayed nearby, I'd know that you'd have 48050275911 options before me, so there wouldn't be much point trying to say hello

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Yes people need to chill!

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By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

Until recently I never realised how bad it was for couples and women on here. I didn't realise the sheer volume of crap messages and inboxes they have to deal with. I have once or twice sent a chaser message etc. But now I'm Mr patient and if it happens it happens

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Yes i despise it or the pointless messages with no meat to the message .

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Put it this way, I never send two emails or texts in a row without reply.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t do clingy men. They make me powerwalk for the hills.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very very rarely will I message a guy regularly,but then it's definitely a two way thing.

If I like them I'll reply, if they don't reply back, I'll go sit and drink wine and cry.

If a guy ever messages with some sarcy comment about me not replying or a "I take it you're busy elsewhere" it's a byyyyeeeeeee from me.

Those sarcy comments just kill me. I can’t deal with them . Stop!!

I am an avoider tho so, I tend to leave it as it is rather than block and delete. As options are options

Omg I sound like a total fuck boy

That’s just an awful thing to do. To both of you. Just awful

Promise we are nice

I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t do clingy men. They make me powerwalk for the hills."

Can I watch you do that walk from behind?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I don’t do clingy men. They make me powerwalk for the hills.

Can I watch you do that walk from behind?

Yeah, if you promise to wolf whistle

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By *urious-Switch81Man
over a year ago

Heanor

[Removed by poster at 15/06/22 17:43:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t do clingy men. They make me powerwalk for the hills.

Can I watch you do that walk from behind?

Yeah, if you promise to wolf whistle

Old school. .. I like it

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I’m super chill but bounce messages when someone’s as chatty as I am and I find them interesting or exciting. I do get annoyed with being bombarded about meeting though especially after they’ve been told we’ll invite them when we are ready.

Although when someone takes ages to reply paranoia can set in thinking was it something I said hahaha but I’ve come to realize some people aren’t that into messaging. "

Oolala Mrs notts in that white dress!! My word.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I dislike overloaded inboxes, that become mundane and tedious, not to mention ehen they get too clingy and demanding. I thus wait until almost the last minute before meeting, before swapping numbers, to prevent it.

I've been too eager with people I've met for dating LTR before, possibly, so I don't go there anymore. And NSF, just have some patience guys

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Until recently I never realised how bad it was for couples and women on here. I didn't realise the sheer volume of crap messages and inboxes they have to deal with. I have once or twice sent a chaser message etc. But now I'm Mr patient and if it happens it happens"

I was talking more about people that I met/connected with before

Rather than fab, I mean I ignore about 98% of fab messages cos I can’t deal with the amount

Usually those who get though it’s cos the profile pic somehow catches my eye+its on top of my messages

So kind of a luck game

only being honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Put it this way, I never send two emails or texts in a row without reply."

As per my last email

FOLLOW UP

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Yorks/Lincs

be respectful with everyone , dont mess people about .... what goes round comes round !!

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"It does swing both ways, as you allude to.

One the chaser, the other the chased.

It's only when you find someone that's equally as keen as you are that there's a balance. Be that you both message regular because you want to or that you are equally aloof and not too fussed.

So true!! Couldn’t have said it better "

I am taking notes

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By *aughtynottsCouple
over a year ago

Outside Nottingham

Although when someone takes ages to reply paranoia can set in thinking was it something I said hahaha but I’ve come to realize some people aren’t that into messaging.

Oolala Mrs notts in that white dress!! My word. "

Just my daily attire

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