FabSwingers.com forum: Worst meet had...?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll go first...

Messaged with a female via the app for a while. Switched to text. Planned to meet. Drove out to meet her. She said she's an escort. I figured what the heck, drove all this way, so why not. Gave her money. She said she'd be right back. Absconded. Lesson: be careful who speak to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Next time get one of those coins with a string attached to it. Like Top Cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Next time get one of those coins with a string attached to it. Like Top Cat."

Hahaha that made me laugh out loud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll go first...

I think the lesson is don’t let your dick rule your head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Next time get one of those coins with a string attached to it. Like Top Cat."

Op. She saw you coming……. or didn’t. You know what I mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should paid on delivery of the goods

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By *aptainhornpipeMan
over a year ago

manchester

Haha had a mate have exactly the same thing happen, although he was more upfront about knowing she was a working girl.

Her line was I just have to go and check my kids are in bed that’s the last time he saw her or the money.

It’s true what they say about full balls empty brain, this lad was normally one the the brightest people in the room. Ah man I laughed so hard when he told me

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

With a couple who strung me along for an age the night we were meant to meet. Once I’d finally got there I was treated to the worlds least sexy porno whilst the bloke sat there and played with himself for about an hour.

When his mrs did finally appear she had an awful attitude and announced after about 10 min she was “off for a poo”

Made my excuses and left

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"With a couple who strung me along for an age the night we were meant to meet. Once I’d finally got there I was treated to the worlds least sexy porno whilst the bloke sat there and played with himself for about an hour.

When his mrs did finally appear she had an awful attitude and announced after about 10 min she was “off for a poo”

Made my excuses and left "

Killing myself laughing

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

The condom came off inside me, he had to fish it out, then broke my full length mirror on the way out of the bedroom. Moment ruined!

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By *eddyBearBazMan
over a year ago

St Helens

"The condom came off inside me, he had to fish it out, then broke my full length mirror on the way out of the bedroom. Moment ruined! "

I hope you slapped him for braking your mirror mimi

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"The condom came off inside me, he had to fish it out, then broke my full length mirror on the way out of the bedroom. Moment ruined!

I hope you slapped him for braking your mirror mimi

Why would I do that? It was an accident.

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By *aptainhornpipeMan
over a year ago

manchester

Had a couples meet, social first and they seemed a lovely friendly couple so me and the lady I was with agreed to go back you their house. Once there and when we had a few drinks clothes came off and it became clear the lady of the other couple only really wanted to play with my lady. She wasn’t keen on me getting close to here and when my lady started to play with her other half she completely changed jumped up and insisted we all go and play pool in the other room.

After another couple of attempts to initiate the play that we had all agreed we wanted back at the pub and it becoming apparent she was insanely jealous of her other half playing with my other half.

At this point me and my other half gave the sign that we wanted to bale. She excused herself to the toilet and when she came back down said she had received a text from home and that we needed to go. Clothes back on and we were out of there.

Such a shame really cos they promised to be such fun play mates

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha! This tickled

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/06/22 18:08:19]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/06/22 18:06:59]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Haha had a mate have exactly the same thing happen, although he was more upfront about knowing she was a working girl.

Her line was I just have to go and check my kids are in bed that’s the last time he saw her or the money.

It’s true what they say about full balls empty brain, this lad was normally one the the brightest people in the room. Ah man I laughed so hard when he told me "

Haha! Yeah the boys in our group chat had a great laugh about my predicament it was stupid, as I had suspicions but ignored them. True - full balls empty brain - I like that quote

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Next time get one of those coins with a string attached to it. Like Top Cat."

Haha!

yes sir!

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

Turned up at a ladies house and after spending 15 minutes trying to find a parking space I shoe my car into a gap unfortunately hitting another car

You guessed it the car belonged to her ....she was ok about it but I couldn't quite concentrate knowing my insurance premium was going to go up ....

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

"Turned up at a ladies house and after spending 15 minutes trying to find a parking space I shoe my car into a gap unfortunately hitting another car

You guessed it the car belonged to her ....she was ok about it but I couldn't quite concentrate knowing my insurance premium was going to go up ....

* Shoe horned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When his mrs did finally appear she had an awful attitude and announced after about 10 min she was “off for a poo”

Made my excuses and left "

WOW

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Turned up at a ladies house and after spending 15 minutes trying to find a parking space I shoe my car into a gap unfortunately hitting another car

You guessed it the car belonged to her ....she was ok about it but I couldn't quite concentrate knowing my insurance premium was going to go up ....

At least something went up for you haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont really kiss and tell, but she isnt on here......

had one of those....you know when you are doubting it being a good idea, cant put finger on why so go ahead with it anyway?

I'm a fan of oral, so down i went. terrible idea. she smelt awful. i just couldnt. i made some kind of excuse and that was that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i dont really kiss and tell, but she isnt on here......

had one of those....you know when you are doubting it being a good idea, cant put finger on why so go ahead with it anyway?

I'm a fan of oral, so down i went. terrible idea. she smelt awful. i just couldnt. i made some kind of excuse and that was that. "

Nasty! How to do the "sick emoji" ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i dont really kiss and tell, but she isnt on here......

had one of those....you know when you are doubting it being a good idea, cant put finger on why so go ahead with it anyway?

I'm a fan of oral, so down i went. terrible idea. she smelt awful. i just couldnt. i made some kind of excuse and that was that. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn’t say it was a worst meet, but certainly not the greatest.

This happened recently. So been chatting to this guy for a while. He came round on the arranged day, and asked me to have my set of jiggle balls in. So he comes in, we are both a bit shy to start with… we get going, and he inserts a finger in… I remind him that I’ve got my jiggle balls in, he acknowledges it and carries on…. Bit later on we are doing the biz (anal) suddenly he stops and starts coughing, I turn round and he’s bent double, then disappears to the bathroom. He comes back with his pants on, and said he thought he was going to have a heart attack…. He’s not that energetic, he sat out in the sun for 7 hours the previous day, he had sunburn and quite possibly sunstroke too. I offer him to lie down for a bit til he feels better before driving home, but he insists he’s ok, and will just go home and go back to bed. Meanwhile..I’m sitting on my bed… he’s gone and I suddenly remember the balls! Better take them out…. No fucking string! He’s pushed them further back than where they are supposed to be, and I can’t remove them. I spent 7 and a half hours in A/E for help to get them out! Furthermore I had to explain to a young nurse what the hell jiggle balls were. I just said they were to help with pelvic floor exercises

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By *inkyisfunukMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

The one where I met a couple in a pub, got chatting and very quickly they told me I was a sinner for doing this and was going to hell

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By *ltrMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I traveled to Leeds met up with a (single female) while chatting a guy comes storming in and starts ranting at the female turned out she's done it before was on as a couple but wanted to meet up on her own behind his back so bizarre I think they both found it funny I got up fxxded off home

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

It wasn't really a bad meet more uncomfortable for me. We met another couple at a club one night, got chatting realised we were staying in the same hotel and agreed to go back to their room. When we got there the husband was all over me, his wife said to my partner I just like to watch, and pulled a chair up next to the bed, I said this isn't for me and we left.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Next time get one of those coins with a string attached to it. Like Top Cat."

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The one where I met a couple in a pub, got chatting and very quickly they told me I was a sinner for doing this and was going to hell

Oh I want to get my hands on people like this. I haven't had a good Bible bash in aaaaages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll go first...

She lied and broke your trust once, she didn't deserve that second chance

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"i dont really kiss and tell, but she isnt on here......

had one of those....you know when you are doubting it being a good idea, cant put finger on why so go ahead with it anyway?

I'm a fan of oral, so down i went. terrible idea. she smelt awful. i just couldnt. i made some kind of excuse and that was that. "
next time do the sniff test

just don’t get caught sniffing ya fingers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wouldn’t say it was a worst meet, but certainly not the greatest.

Whoah! Scary moment I bet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The one where I met a couple in a pub, got chatting and very quickly they told me I was a sinner for doing this and was going to hell

Haha! Should have said Sundays are for confession and repentance

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Guy I met was happy for me to satisfy him then as soon as he came did the old ‘my mates text he’s locked out’ Blah blah and he left.

He messaged me about a year later on a new profile and didn’t recognise it was me. Asked me if I wanted to meet.

I told him he didn’t satisfy me the first time so why would I want disappointment again. Blocked

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Not had one yet.....my vetting process is quite through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She made me soup and sourdough bread and I didn’t like it but I enjoyed it more than the sex.

I used to be such a sl**.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"She made me soup and sourdough bread and I didn’t like it but I enjoyed it more than the sex.

I used to be such a sl**.

You said you wouldn't tell how bad I am in bed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"She made me soup and sourdough bread and I didn’t like it but I enjoyed it more than the sex.

I used to be such a sl**.

I heard the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Guess not on this occasion haha

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By *ay-89Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

When they ask if you've had an orgasm... darling if you have to ask then no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/06/22 21:13:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First she bit my lip hard

Then she bit my nip hard

Lower she goes biting my belly hard

Then began unzipping my pants by this point i was shitting myself ready to judo chop the top of her head but she was well behaved until later when she bit my face and my tongue kissing me

Then later on as shes riding my in this field a bramble bush kept trying to enter my anus

Moral of the story im not a fucking chew toy and destroy all brambles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they ask if you've had an orgasm... darling if you have to ask then no! "

Yes, because it's not like some women are known for faking it at all causing men to doubt whether you actually did

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll go first...

She lied and broke your trust once, she didn't deserve that second chance "

I've learned to be more direct, and to not suffer fools

although on that occasion I guess I was the fool haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First she bit my lip hard

Then she bit my nip hard

Lower she goes biting my belly hard

Then began unzipping my pants by this point i was shitting myself ready to judo chop the top of her head but she was well behaved until later when she bit my face and my tongue kissing me

Then later on as shes riding my in this field a bramble bush kept trying to enter my anus

Moral of the story im not a fucking chew toy and destroy all brambles "

I likes to bite. Soz

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"First she bit my lip hard

Then she bit my nip hard

Lower she goes biting my belly hard

Then began unzipping my pants by this point i was shitting myself ready to judo chop the top of her head but she was well behaved until later when she bit my face and my tongue kissing me

Then later on as shes riding my in this field a bramble bush kept trying to enter my anus

Moral of the story im not a fucking chew toy and destroy all brambles "

Hahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

Chomp? (

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

Chomp? (

Chewed the tip.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

Isn't this a scene from the first American Pie film?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

Chomp? (

)

Chewed the tip.

"
that's the way girl x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

Isn't this a scene from the first American Pie film?

There was no apple pie involved.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Meet guy for coffee.

Go back to the car.

Chatting.

Unzips his trousers, oh penis, grabs my head and tries to push me down on said penis.

Isn't this a scene from the first American Pie film?

There was no apple pie involved. "

I now have no clue what base you reached.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

I swear, she had 11 dogs. Little yappy ones.

I made my excuses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of those Fab Forum threads that I might actually get named on!

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By *ay-89Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

"When they ask if you've had an orgasm... darling if you have to ask then no!

Yes, because it's not like some women are known for faking it at all causing men to doubt whether you actually did"

No he just seemed to have no idea at all on what he was doing. He possibly had others fake it with him for him to think he was doing a good job. I have been very lucky and not needed to fake one before. It was probably one of the mostl awkward meets I have ever had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*control -f …searches ‘Woody’ … wipes sweat from brow. “Phew.”

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Probably the one when the guy thought he would ignore what I want and take the condom off during. That leaves you with major trust issues.

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London

This thread has made me feel better I.e it’s not just me that’s had disastrous meets !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So our story begins with me having talked to a woman on here who admittedly I knew was attached who invited me back to her place,I always insist a friends house(he doesn't care) but she was very persuasive.She did also talk about her husband a lot(first red flag)

So a bot of background to what I think occurred basically I had a phone given to me whole working for a spanish company and they never wanted it back so I stuck a fresh sim in and used it for other things.I still carried my original phone on me(important).

So get in and the quickest lead in to the bedroom I have ever had.She frantically starts undressing us with little "technique" and takes her own clothes of.At this point a hand is behind her back(shes picked up the spanish phone assuming its her own).

So she sucks me off for quite a while before starting to 69.I could hear repeated pressing and a lot of frustration as my phone locked her out for 5 mins.

Sensing something was wrong I pushed her off me and said that I should go.She did not like this and came on me with something to prove.She gets locked out again while on top of me,at this point I am very close as I hear her panting.

Husband wanders in quite worried why he hasn't received any messages from his wife(she would get guys compromised and he would attack them,I was never supposed to get this far).

I manage to shove her off and run out the door somehow evading him as he chases me down the street

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So our story begins with me having talked to a woman on here who admittedly I knew was attached who invited me back to her place,I always insist a friends house(he doesn't care) but she was very persuasive.She did also talk about her husband a lot(first red flag)

So she sucks me off for quite a while before starting to 69.I could hear repeated pressing and a lot of frustration as my phone locked her out for 5 mins.

Husband wanders in quite worried why he hasn't received any messages from his wife(she would get guys compromised and he would attack them,I was never supposed to get this far).

I manage to shove her off and run out the door somehow evading him as he chases me down the street"

Whoah! Can't be too careful!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is one of those Fab Forum threads that I might actually get named on!

Don't worry. We're all adults here. No names. Just scenarios.

Although, one might consider what have you done to be so worried haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a meet and a woman came to my house and ordered take away for herself, didn’t even bother asking me and tried to eat it in my bed ???? was fuming!! She didn’t even offer me a chip

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Had a meet and a woman came to my house and ordered take away for herself, didn’t even bother asking me and tried to eat it in my bed ???? was fuming!! She didn’t even offer me a chip"

Haha! When hunger strikes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the worst but thought id contribute

Agreed to meet a woman at her place..looked nice in pics..good laugh together and flirting in messages. Turned up and she was severely physically disabled and had trouble with speech...i have nothing against disabled people wanting fun..but do feel that these things should be disclosed at least?! We had a nice chat and laugh together but i didnt stay long and left..frustrated! Felt bad after it but was a difficult situation!

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Probably the one when the guy thought he would ignore what I want and take the condom off during. That leaves you with major trust issues."

Why do men do that? I had that too, I went bat sh*t crazy at him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First she bit my lip hard

Then she bit my nip hard

Lower she goes biting my belly hard

Then began unzipping my pants by this point i was shitting myself ready to judo chop the top of her head but she was well behaved until later when she bit my face and my tongue kissing me

Then later on as shes riding my in this field a bramble bush kept trying to enter my anus

Moral of the story im not a fucking chew toy and destroy all brambles

I likes to bite. Soz"
damn you to heck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just scrolling through making sure my name hasn’t appeared

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worse meet for me was when I was with an ex male friend he arranged for us to meet up with this guy at his place we got there & the house was stinking not just clean untidy I mean stinking my friend wouldn't leave so I couldn't because I don't drive & it was quite away from where I live I had to stay there which really made me uncomfortable it took me a fortnight to come right (I have OCD) & everything in my world is bleach clean it might sound not much compare to some but it was my worse nightmare ha

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By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Mine has to be the time I went to see this girl in Nottingham which for me was was like a 45 min drive. Walked in place was so dirty rubbish all over the floor like it hadn't been vacuumed in months or forever. I needed the toilet went in and I swear no word of lie there was an absolute massive turd and I don't mean like long it was like a ball I nearly threw up as the toilet was close to the entrance I just slowly walked out and made a swift exit. The dirty floor I could have lived with but that poo had me gone in a flash.

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

"Had a meet and a woman came to my house and ordered take away for herself, didn’t even bother asking me and tried to eat it in my bed ???? was fuming!! She didn’t even offer me a chip"

That’s hilarious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine has to be the time I went to see this girl in Nottingham which for me was was like a 45 min drive. Walked in place was so dirty rubbish all over the floor like it hadn't been vacuumed in months or forever. I needed the toilet went in and I swear no word of lie there was an absolute massive turd and I don't mean like long it was like a ball I nearly threw up as the toilet was close to the entrance I just slowly walked out and made a swift exit. The dirty floor I could have lived with but that poo had me gone in a flash.

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By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm not really OCD but you got to have some cleanness and nice smell right. I just don't know how some people live like that and not bother doing basic cleaning like vacuuming or flushing the toilet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not the worst but thought id contribute

Honesty is important.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

"I'll go first...

Lesson here is never pay for Kitty my friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Worse meet for me was when I was with an ex male friend he arranged for us to meet up with this guy at his place we got there & the house was stinking not just clean untidy I mean stinking my friend wouldn't leave so I couldn't because I don't drive & it was quite away from where I live I had to stay there which really made me uncomfortable it took me a fortnight to come right (I have OCD) & everything in my world is bleach clean it might sound not much compare to some but it was my worse nightmare ha "

The phrase "cleanliness is godliness" comes to mind.

A clean environment is an indicator. Hygiene is important.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mr Hankey

#southpark

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Apart from the girl that was actually a guy turning up at my door and who still continued to call me to this day, years later

The worst was just a girl that has terrible hygiene

Could smell the BO on her before we even hugged. Pretty girl, lovely too, but there’d no excuse for being smelly. Didn’t hide it either. Told her straight up, shower before meets, and left. Gross

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

My worst meet was finding a used Condom inside her during foreplay

(fingering) just stared at each other I silence when fished it out. She did send me a lovely message day after 'thanking me for not being horrible about the whole scenario' when it happened she was embarrassed enough already.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll go first...

Lesson here is never pay for Kitty my friend

Truer words have never been spoken

Thankfully I still haven't, as she absconded!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Apart from the girl that was actually a guy turning up at my door and who still continued to call me to this day, years later

The worst was just a girl that has terrible hygiene

Could smell the BO on her before we even hugged. Pretty girl, lovely too, but there’d no excuse for being smelly. Didn’t hide it either. Told her straight up, shower before meets, and left. Gross "

Probably time to change your phone number, no? Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The phrase "cleanliness is godliness" comes to mind.

A clean environment is an indicator. Hygiene is important. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having some really nice one on one fun with a woman. We were blissfully shagging away and could feel something inside her so on further investigation found a cap from a Budweiser beer bottle. Oh I remember that from last night wondered where the top had gone she said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't mention names but she turned up d*unk (she drove to my house) and got progressively more d*unk and I had to ask her to leave (that's the short version).

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I can't stand dirty, smelly houses I'm not OCD but it makes me feel icky so I can't begin to imagine how horrible it is for you!

It doesn't take much to run a hoover round, tidy up and take a shower

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"First she bit my lip hard

Then she bit my nip hard

Lower she goes biting my belly hard

Then began unzipping my pants by this point i was shitting myself ready to judo chop the top of her head but she was well behaved until later when she bit my face and my tongue kissing me

Then later on as shes riding my in this field a bramble bush kept trying to enter my anus

Moral of the story im not a fucking chew toy and destroy all brambles "

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"I won't mention names but she turned up d*unk (she drove to my house) and got progressively more d*unk and I had to ask her to leave (that's the short version)."
did you call her a taxi ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel a bit bad for this one but going to tell it anyway

Had a social with a fella , nice bloke. He proceeded to tell me he had a colostomy bag, it was visible under his white t shirt . He kept referring to it and patting it like it was a pet dog or something.

I know I sound horrible but all I could think about was sex and the little pet being right there .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apart from the girl that was actually a guy turning up at my door and who still continued to call me to this day, years later

The worst was just a girl that has terrible hygiene

Hmmmmm quite like this, wonders who she is.....

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

When his mrs did finally appear she had an awful attitude and announced after about 10 min she was “off for a poo”

Made my excuses and left "

That is funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't mention names but she turned up d*unk (she drove to my house) and got progressively more d*unk and I had to ask her to leave (that's the short version). did you call her a taxi ?"

She stayed the night to sober up. I slept on the sofa.

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By *cLovin2Man
over a year ago

Reading

"The condom came off inside me, he had to fish it out, then broke my full length mirror on the way out of the bedroom. Moment ruined! "

Did his unfinished Wang hit the mirror ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Next time get one of those coins with a string attached to it. Like Topha Cat."

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"I won't mention names but she turned up d*unk (she drove to my house) and got progressively more d*unk and I had to ask her to leave (that's the short version). did you call her a taxi ?

She stayed the night to sober up. I slept on the sofa."
the sensible thing to do I bet it was a tad awkward the next morning

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By *ik69Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The condom came off inside me, he had to fish it out, then broke my full length mirror on the way out of the bedroom. Moment ruined! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When his mrs did finally appear she had an awful attitude and announced after about 10 min she was “off for a poo”

Made my excuses and left "
oh shit thats bad but all so Hairlarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't mention names but she turned up d*unk (she drove to my house) and got progressively more d*unk and I had to ask her to leave (that's the short version). did you call her a taxi ?

She stayed the night to sober up. I slept on the sofa. the sensible thing to do I bet it was a tad awkward the next morning "

She just took a shower and left without saying anything.

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By *cLovin2Man
over a year ago

Reading

So she sucks me off for quite a while before starting to 69.I could hear repeated pressing and a lot of frustration as my phone locked her out for 5 mins.

Husband wanders in quite worried why he hasn't received any messages from his wife(she would get guys compromised and he would attack them,I was never supposed to get this far).

I manage to shove her off and run out the door somehow evading him as he chases me down the street"

This reminds me of a story a mate at school told me, when I was around 14. Dude is with a woman getting it on, and the husband comes home, upon seeing said dude, husband embeds an axe into the dude's head. Naked dude runs through the streets with axe embedded in his head, part of his brains in his hands to the police station. ??

When you are a horny 14 year old, you believe this crap!

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By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

Someone from here, who I actually vaguely new off fab, acted like he did meets all the time and was really forward about meeting up straight away and how he was going to make me cum, etc.

We started kissing and he completely freaked out, said he was overwhelmed, we took a break. It turned out he'd never done owt like that, hadn't even tried it on with anyone in over a year and a half, had only been with a couple of people before who he ended up seeing long term. Said women were normally shy when it came to sex as if it was a bad thing I'm confident in the bedroom.

We had another go at it but the small amount of sex we did have was shite, he didn't seem into it so I asked him to play with my pussy to try and get him going (I'd sucked and wanted him off already) he put a finger in once then back out like he was actually poking me and then said "do you not have any toys you can just use on yourself?"

He messaged after and said hopefully one day he could take me out.

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By *ik69Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Someone from here, who I actually vaguely new off fab, acted like he did meets all the time and was really forward about meeting up straight away and how he was going to make me cum, etc.

He messaged after and said hopefully one day he could take me out.

No comment

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By *ik69Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

I had a chat with a nice lady and she was looking nice then I went to her house and the house was Disgusting very smelly and worst toilet I ever seen I can’t finish what I start and left. for myself the first thing put me on the track is the lady perfume

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By *oubleTrouble666Couple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Probably the one when the guy thought he would ignore what I want and take the condom off during. That leaves you with major trust issues."

"Stealthing" is a sexual offence in the UK.

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