FabSwingers.com forum: New relationship

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hiya everyone

So I’ve met someone recently and things are going really well

I’m the primary carer for my daughter and she sees her dad a couple of times a week.

He moved out about 16 months ago , everything is very amicable etc.

So I introduced my daughter to the new fella briefly at the weekend . I’m just wondering if I should mention to the ex about the fact I am now seeing someone and the daughter has met him? Is it even any of his business ?

Can’t decide

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

I split with Small dad when they were 6 months old. They got with someone immediately (if you believe their dates, if you believe mine, I was giving birth and he was enjoying himself@!)

I asked to meet her as she was seeing my child a lot (despite me asking for her to not initially) and was told it was his life and nothing to do with me. A few years on I had a 16 month relationship and he kept demanding to meet my new partner. So, one day, my new partner (now sadly an ex) stood in my garden so the ex could speak to him as demanded. The ex wouldn't even make eye contact but, bizarrely took a photo of new guy as he left.

You know your situation, you do whatever is required right thing for you and your child and everyone else can go fish!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think it's only fair to.

Yes, you're no longer together so technically it's "not his business" as many are likely to tell you, but at the same time who his daughter spends time with is.

To me it shows consideration and respect telling him, and that you're not trying to hide things from him regarding his child, which your new relationship will impact either positively or negatively.

Your daughter will speak about it, so better coming from you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe you should tell him. Your new partner will be spending time with his child, I feel any parent would just like the heads up.

Ask yourself if you’d appreciate knowing should the situation be reversed?

Also, congrats on the new relationship, I hope it goes well for you all.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Only you will know the answer OP.

If it were me, then I would have a chat with the ex and mention it. As Peach said, your relationship is none of his business but you have now involved his child x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the man's point of view, my sons mum demanded mental conditions for any partner of mine to be around my son, such as crb checks ect, yet I found out 5 days after the event that one of her bf was involved in an "accident" with my 3 Yr old son that broke his collar bone, and I found out 6 weeks before she was getting married.

If you both are getting on then what harm can it do at it shows your child that not all break ups have to be vile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't any of his business who you date. It is however his business who his daughter spends time around. If your new relationship has reached a level that you've introduced your partner to your child then yeah, personally I'd be mentioning it to my ex.

Obviously every situation is different, you know your ex and how they're likely to react to either being or not being told.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Yes. I would’ve had a conversation with my ex before introducing my children to a new partner though.

As much as it’s exciting for you, it can be a difficult time for the kids as they get to know the new person in your life. Your ex can help support them as they get to know them and adapt to the new situation. I feel that it’s effective co-parenting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would primarily because it's better coming from you than your child. I believe you'd hope for the same respect from him if it were the other way round.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I've never told my sons dad about any of my relationships, but then I rarely introduced them to my son, in case it didn't work out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's only fair to.

Yes, you're no longer together so technically it's "not his business" as many are likely to tell you, but at the same time who his daughter spends time with is.

To me it shows consideration and respect telling him, and that you're not trying to hide things from him regarding his child, which your new relationship will impact either positively or negatively.

Your daughter will speak about it, so better coming from you."

I agree I think , thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've never told my sons dad about any of my relationships, but then I rarely introduced them to my son, in case it didn't work out."

There is that, scared of jinxing it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would primarily because it's better coming from you than your child. I believe you'd hope for the same respect from him if it were the other way round."

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes. I would’ve had a conversation with my ex before introducing my children to a new partner though.

To be honest the introduction wasn’t planned as such , she was with my friend for a couple of hours and called me saying she was bored. I told her who I was with she said that’s fine , so we went to collect her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It isn't any of his business who you date. It is however his business who his daughter spends time around. If your new relationship has reached a level that you've introduced your partner to your child then yeah, personally I'd be mentioning it to my ex.

Obviously every situation is different, you know your ex and how they're likely to react to either being or not being told.

Mr"

Not sure how he would react

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I believe you should tell him. Your new partner will be spending time with his child, I feel any parent would just like the heads up.

Ask yourself if you’d appreciate knowing should the situation be reversed?

Also, congrats on the new relationship, I hope it goes well for you all.

Kx "

Thank you x

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Context is so important in these things but from the little you have shared

I personally think he has a right to know if his daughter will be spending time with this new guy, if it was a one off you introduced them over coffee just so she knows who mums spending time with, then maybe not but even then I'd likely mention it incase she does, you don't want any awkwardness especially if things are amicable

Reverse things how would you feel if he introduced you daughter to a new partner/partners without telling you

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

He is your daughter's dad so yes it's his business who his daughter is being introduced to. Tell him before your daughter does.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I think I’d like to know of any potential step dads entering my daughter life. I dunno if it’s that serious yet though.

It’s a judgement call, but if your on good terms I think honesty is the better policy.

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By *s955Man
over a year ago

NORWICH

im with someone new aswell we both meet through fab in meet ! It went really well few mouths later we hit it off! Weve spoke about potential coming on here but my issue im not kean on her being with another guy even if it was couple meet as i don't know how i would like it as it's not a turn on for myself , we still really fresh we know how strong are connection is , just thought if i speak to couples just to try get an different idea for a different prospective as im very open minded but seem to be closed when it involves another guy

Please help

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Would you expect to be told of it was Tue other way round?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I think it's only fair to.

Yes, you're no longer together so technically it's "not his business" as many are likely to tell you, but at the same time who his daughter spends time with is.

To me it shows consideration and respect telling him, and that you're not trying to hide things from him regarding his child, which your new relationship will impact either positively or negatively.

Your daughter will speak about it, so better coming from you."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would tell my ex once I'd introduced someone to my kids. I never have introduced anyone to them yet, but he told me about his now-wife before she met our kids. He deserves to know what's impacting them even if he rarely sees them.

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

Nope

I’ve had relationships since my divorce and my kids have met the men I’ve been dating - but they were introduced as a friend and there was no physical contact in front of the kids

If the relationships became long term and serious then that’s a different kettle of fish altogether and yes I’d say something to the kids dad

My private life is my private life and kids/ex don’t need to know if it’s not relevant or going to impact on their lives in some significant way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I split with my daughters dad 2 years ago. When I met my now ex

I told ex no.1 when things got serious. Daughter talked about it, better from me the man her

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