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Racism towards Asians

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve seen lots of anti Asian racism on fab. Like a lot. And tbh, I’m not even surprised because I am aware of racism existing in Britain but I am a bit disappointed the ways you see it on here then get gaslit about it. So solidarity OP.

Regarding georgraphy, I would imagine it has to do with south Asian communities in those geographic locations being bigger and having impact in those areas. For example as a Black person, when I go north I experience racism, sometimes even in ‘diverse’ places because there’s still smaller Black communities than say in London.

My feeling is you might not get what you want from this thread but your feelings are valid and welcome.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!"

Ok, so everyone in three areas of the country is racists.

Can you not see a small amount of irony?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!

Ok, so everyone in three areas of the country is racists.

Can you not see a small amount of irony? "

I don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/06/22 21:20:27]

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Sorry bro

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!

Ok, so everyone in three areas of the country is racists.

Can you not see a small amount of irony? "

At what point did I say everyone in these 3 areas?? However I did highlight that it is definitely more prevalent in the mentioned areas, just my opinion and experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!

Ok, so everyone in three areas of the country is racists.

Can you not see a small amount of irony? "

Where did OP say everyone in those three areas of the country are racist? If it doesn’t apply to you; let it fly.

I work my hardest to be anti-racist but I know as a white person I contribute, whether I like it or not, to systematic racism. It’s not an attack on you or on white people; it’s just a fact.

It’s the same with the patriarchy; men unfortunately contribute to a systematic oppression of women. It doesn’t make you, personally, a bad person.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

It should be stopped as no race of people should have to put up with it in this day and age treat people like you want them to treat you it's time to make a stand against this

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Yes, there is a lot, but it hides in plain site because so many people are prepared to accept the excuse of preference, without questioning what the 'preference' that you don't find several million people you've never seen or met attractive - based solely on their ethnicity - might actually be rooted in.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk


"At what point did I say everyone in these 3 areas?? However I did highlight that it is definitely more prevalent in the mentioned areas, just my opinion and experience. "

When did you say some people? When did you say not all?

You can't pick out an entire area. The same as people can't pick out an entire race.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!"

It's a shame that you feel that way OP.

Since moving to a small town in North Devon, where approximately 90% of the people in it are Caucasian, I've met far fewer local racists than when I lived in south east London (far more diverse).

It's not the location, it's the people.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"At what point did I say everyone in these 3 areas?? However I did highlight that it is definitely more prevalent in the mentioned areas, just my opinion and experience.

When did you say some people? When did you say not all?

You can't pick out an entire area. The same as people can't pick out an entire race."

#notallpeopleinthoseareas

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By *ommy75Man
over a year ago

Bristol

what a totally idiotic and uneducated statement to make

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't personally experienced any racism on here but I'm sorry to hear you have. I agree, there does seem to be a stereotype and Asian men being overly pushy which may cause some of the "No Asians" text you see in profiles.

I very much doubt it's a preference either because 1. Asia is a big fucking place. 2. I sincerely doubt that people find every person from an entire race not sexually attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's doubtful a location determines racism. There are racists in every part of the world, some people are just better hiding it than others.

Wherever you are in the world, just be accepting of people no matter their race.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At what point did I say everyone in these 3 areas?? However I did highlight that it is definitely more prevalent in the mentioned areas, just my opinion and experience.

When did you say some people? When did you say not all?

You can't pick out an entire area. The same as people can't pick out an entire race."

Fair point and I agree with what your saying when I read back on my post I do see how it can be miss construed and why you have got the wrong end of the stick.

I should have in my post and I will now clarify again that it is definitely more prevalent in the south of the country (3 mentioned areas in the post) than in the north. From my experience the further north you go the friendlier the people and with friendliness and that out look on life you tend to encounter less racism up north. Newcastle for example the Geordies are some of the nicest most friendly and welcoming people who don’t give a shit about colour etc either they vibe with you or don’t simple

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By *renchFantasyCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Perception is reality, if someone feels they are being treat different then they are, and in one form that could be racism.

No room for racism. Or any other discrimination.

Everyone has a preference and that is the only thing that should matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen it as well unfortunately. People are quite blatant about it on their profiles. And then usually throw their hands up and swear that they're "not racist" when called out. Your best bet is to block them OP. Sorry you have to put up with that sh*t though man.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I abhor racism, it is hard to fathom WHY it still exists in this day and age.

In the context of FAB, there is no value in allowing yourself to be wound up by people rejecting you because of your race or heritage. Those who think that way will not reconsider... focus your energy on those who might be interested.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At what point did I say everyone in these 3 areas?? However I did highlight that it is definitely more prevalent in the mentioned areas, just my opinion and experience.

When did you say some people? When did you say not all?

You can't pick out an entire area. The same as people can't pick out an entire race."

#NotAll

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

Fab were after mods the other day for vetting pictures.

Are there any volunteers for the HR team?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven't personally experienced any racism on here but I'm sorry to hear you have. I agree, there does seem to be a stereotype and Asian men being overly pushy which may cause some of the "No Asians" text you see in profiles.

I very much doubt it's a preference either because 1. Asia is a big fucking place. 2. I sincerely doubt that people find every person from an entire race not sexually attractive."

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By *awpleasureMan
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield

Did you report the racism to the police? Or just to the admins?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've seen it as well unfortunately. People are quite blatant about it on their profiles. And then usually throw their hands up and swear that they're "not racist" when called out. Your best bet is to block them OP. Sorry you have to put up with that sh*t though man. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did you report the racism to the police? Or just to the admins?"

Didn’t we establish this stuff is treated as a noncrime incident on another thread?

Also, It’s always did you tell the police as if that really gets us anywhere with racism. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name. "

Although thinking about it I have been ghosted on here once after doing the whole "No but where are you REALLY from" thing after showing someone my face pic (which they complimented). Not sure if that really counts as racism but just felt a bit... Icky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could I just say to any Asian Bi guys if you're reading this. I think you have beautiful eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name. "

Really sorry to hear you have experienced such instances to. But you shouldn’t have to change your name and hide you heritage from anyone. We should all be proud and embrace the beauty of different races and years and centuries of different gene pools mixing to create us.

I’ve experienced on this site 2 separate instances where one single female and another couple replied back to me using racism. Now both profiles didn’t have preferences and I did not message anything profound to warrant such a response. To be honest I would have much rather preferred your ugly we don’t find you attractive or something along them lines, rather than being racist and blocking me before I can report you for the way you have messaged me. I’m a grown man I can handle rejection but racism boils my blood

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

Although thinking about it I have been ghosted on here once after doing the whole "No but where are you REALLY from" thing after showing someone my face pic (which they complimented). Not sure if that really counts as racism but just felt a bit... Icky. "

Oh barf. I'm sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

Although thinking about it I have been ghosted on here once after doing the whole "No but where are you REALLY from" thing after showing someone my face pic (which they complimented). Not sure if that really counts as racism but just felt a bit... Icky. "

fr, this is what racism does by the way. It makes victims question the legitimacy of whether something was racist because you can’t explicitly highlight specific words used. It’s why people that focus on lazy dictionary definitions and not the definitions and work from/of people that study this stuff are so dangerous to tackling racism. It’s the way lots of these isms work. Especially when you spend your life being gaslit about your experiences and their validity as what you describe/ define them as.

As you’ve described it, it’s fair to assume or consider racism a factor to that experience. Sometimes that ‘eww what was that’ is because you know it was racism but you also can’t be bothered to potentially have to justify it as that or you worry about how that might affect the person that’s done this to you.

Anyway lots of love pal

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By *ongueFkYouMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Take no notice of them idiots I don't let it get to me!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

Although thinking about it I have been ghosted on here once after doing the whole "No but where are you REALLY from" thing after showing someone my face pic (which they complimented). Not sure if that really counts as racism but just felt a bit... Icky.

fr, this is what racism does by the way. It makes victims question the legitimacy of whether something was racist because you can’t explicitly highlight specific words used. It’s why people that focus on lazy dictionary definitions and not the definitions and work from/of people that study this stuff are so dangerous to tackling racism. It’s the way lots of these isms work. Especially when you spend your life being gaslit about your experiences and their validity as what you describe/ define them as.

As you’ve described it, it’s fair to assume or consider racism a factor to that experience. Sometimes that ‘eww what was that’ is because you know it was racism but you also can’t be bothered to potentially have to justify it as that or you worry about how that might affect the person that’s done this to you.

Anyway lots of love pal "

I believe you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what a totally idiotic and uneducated statement to make "

Why? Why is an Asian man not entitled to say something about the racism he encounters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Could I just say to any Asian Bi guys if you're reading this. I think you have beautiful eyes "

Oh sweetie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here. "

It does make me question whether I should be on such a site then or not

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"what a totally idiotic and uneducated statement to make "

It wasn't.

Yours..........

Winston

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By *ayjay199xMan
over a year ago

london

Uncle Roger would not be pleased

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

Really sorry to hear you have experienced such instances to. But you shouldn’t have to change your name and hide you heritage from anyone. We should all be proud and embrace the beauty of different races and years and centuries of different gene pools mixing to create us.

I’ve experienced on this site 2 separate instances where one single female and another couple replied back to me using racism. Now both profiles didn’t have preferences and I did not message anything profound to warrant such a response. To be honest I would have much rather preferred your ugly we don’t find you attractive or something along them lines, rather than being racist and blocking me before I can report you for the way you have messaged me. I’m a grown man I can handle rejection but racism boils my blood"

Honestly sometimes it's easier to just protect yourself from having to deal with something, and I don't think there's any shame in that. I'm not hiding away, I'm putting my feelings first

And that's terrible, but them not having preferences on their bios shouldn't even have any weighting. You should just be able to message whoever, and if you're not for them that's that. It's having this Internet veil that gives people the courage to be fully malicious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here.

It does make me question whether I should be on such a site then or not"

I'd say you've found a few friends on this thread buddy

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here.

It does make me question whether I should be on such a site then or not"

Three word answer.

Yes. You. Should.

Winston

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here.

It does make me question whether I should be on such a site then or not"

Fab is like any other part of society. Some people are great, some people... less so. It shouldn't be a further imposition on you, but that is the way it goes, I'm afraid.

I'm very sorry.

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I’ve been on this site for a long period of time, it’s only been of late that people have developed the need to state that they have preferences for non Asian folk…it never used to be like that before when I’ve message people in the past I’ve asked if they like Asian guys if they reply back saying no then that’s fine with me… but it seems nowadays people are openly stating they don’t like them and deeming that as a preference, which we have to accept, because if we act upon it we look like that bad person.

So my suggestion to you bro don’t be disappointed about it there are plenty of people on here whom will appreciate our ethnicity it’s just the matter of finding them…

However if it was an Asian couple I don’t think anyone would say no. I have also come across Asian profiles where they state they will only play with Asians or blacks that’s would in some eyes be classed as racist comment to folks on here.

Don’t let it work you up

This is my opinion if anyone begs to differ I’d be happy to have a discussion with them

Good

Luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

Although thinking about it I have been ghosted on here once after doing the whole "No but where are you REALLY from" thing after showing someone my face pic (which they complimented). Not sure if that really counts as racism but just felt a bit... Icky.

fr, this is what racism does by the way. It makes victims question the legitimacy of whether something was racist because you can’t explicitly highlight specific words used. It’s why people that focus on lazy dictionary definitions and not the definitions and work from/of people that study this stuff are so dangerous to tackling racism. It’s the way lots of these isms work. Especially when you spend your life being gaslit about your experiences and their validity as what you describe/ define them as.

As you’ve described it, it’s fair to assume or consider racism a factor to that experience. Sometimes that ‘eww what was that’ is because you know it was racism but you also can’t be bothered to potentially have to justify it as that or you worry about how that might affect the person that’s done this to you.

Anyway lots of love pal "

Honestly I kinda go into defense mode whenever anyone asks me where I'm from. My first response is Heathrow and then they try "no but you look kinda exotic, where are you really from" I do it too sometimes but only if I recognise from the way someone writes that we might have an origin in common and that'll give us something to talk about. But yeah I can tell when that question is being asked for "you look kinda white but you're definitely not fully white" reasons and it really puts me on edge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the problem is some people are racist without knowing they are racist been to a club in bristol were a few couples sat around and we was shocked how many couples were ''oh no could not do it with a asian guy'' then a little later was asked if we wanted to play i said i dont think you would want to as ive had a few asian cocks in me .... then the oh no thats ok its just preference im like yeah piss off .... ill say it again i dont see color i just see horny hot guy ...

i saw more racism in brum when i was younger than ive seen here in somerset but then my job is with people from all walks of life and from all continent of the planet ...hate racism hate sexism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here.

It does make me question whether I should be on such a site then or not"

Please don't let a minority of people get in the way of something you might enjoy. Because there will always be others who don't think that way and who're open and welcoming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the problem is some people are racist without knowing they are racist been to a club in bristol were a few couples sat around and we was shocked how many couples were ''oh no could not do it with a asian guy'' then a little later was asked if we wanted to play i said i dont think you would want to as ive had a few asian cocks in me .... then the oh no thats ok its just preference im like yeah piss off .... ill say it again i dont see color i just see horny hot guy ...

i saw more racism in brum when i was younger than ive seen here in somerset but then my job is with people from all walks of life and from all continent of the planet ...hate racism hate sexism "

You make a very good point there, that racism is so deeply ingrained in British society that a lot of people can't even see it, even in their own minds...

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I am sorry that you've encountered issues here OP, but not surprised as other Asian men have mentioned racism. And every time there is a thread like this, lots of people pop up to deny it happens and to call it preference. But as in the real world, racism exists here.

It does make me question whether I should be on such a site then or not

I'd say you've found a few friends on this thread buddy "

Yes I agree with you and I hope friendship will prevail for the OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve been on this site for a long period of time, it’s only been of late that people have developed the need to state that they have preferences for non Asian folk…it never used to be like that before when I’ve message people in the past I’ve asked if they like Asian guys if they reply back saying no then that’s fine with me… but it seems nowadays people are openly stating they don’t like them and deeming that as a preference, which we have to accept, because if we act upon it we look like that bad person.

So my suggestion to you bro don’t be disappointed about it there are plenty of people on here whom will appreciate our ethnicity it’s just the matter of finding them…

However if it was an Asian couple I don’t think anyone would say no. I have also come across Asian profiles where they state they will only play with Asians or blacks that’s would in some eyes be classed as racist comment to folks on here.

Don’t let it work you up

This is my opinion if anyone begs to differ I’d be happy to have a discussion with them

Good

Luck "

Thank you for your kind words and I definitely appreciate them. I would never let such people with a limited mind and understanding about races and mankind get to me. However I’m an opinionated individual and a strong personality. So I would always face such issue me head on and highlight them. Rather than not bring them up in fear of what people might have to say.

Like mentioned above in the thread someone said other people have experienced racism in the past on the site but not comfortable to come forward and speak about it. I definitely prefer to speak about it and look to create some form of change.

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton

If anyone is sending you racist comments than i hope you have reported them and i hope admin are removing them from this site.

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest."

It does suggest a certain unenlightened outlook on life doesn't it

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest."

That what it was like in 70s 80s why is it carrying on now

I went to a pub in the mids once as a soon as we walked in the music stopped all eyes turned on us

We thought to ourselves wow this is crazy and we left I’ll always put it down to an experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Racism of any kind is completely unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. One of the biggest reasons I've had for cutting people out of my life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

That what it was like in 70s 80s why is it carrying on now

I went to a pub in the mids once as a soon as we walked in the music stopped all eyes turned on us

We thought to ourselves wow this is crazy and we left I’ll always put it down to an experience "

You would think racism is a thing of the past but for whatever reason it’s on the rise again. Look at the reactions to the BLM protests, Trent not singing the national anthem. When the boys missed the pens. It just seems to be getting worse and not just for Asians

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

That what it was like in 70s 80s why is it carrying on now

I went to a pub in the mids once as a soon as we walked in the music stopped all eyes turned on us

We thought to ourselves wow this is crazy and we left I’ll always put it down to an experience

You would think racism is a thing of the past but for whatever reason it’s on the rise again. Look at the reactions to the BLM protests, Trent not singing the national anthem. When the boys missed the pens. It just seems to be getting worse and not just for Asians "

Agreed

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest."

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uncle Roger would not be pleased"

Read the room man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism. "

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread. "

I can't think of a more relevant thread for that conversation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism. "

Using the term preference I think it’s closet racism…on your profile be straight up and say Asians or any other colour ain’t your cup of tea then people will pass them by saves time

And hassle of unwanted communication and then being branded

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread. "

Sorry if i got it wrong but it seemed relevant as from what i could tell that was the kind of racism being discussed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread.

I can't think of a more relevant thread for that conversation."

Perhaps this is the place. But I think the thread has mostly avoided the conversations about what is and isn’t racism. Mostly not completely. Whenever the preference vs racism conversation comes up, lots of people crawl out of the cracks and the conversation about other experiences of racism get completely lost. I just didn’t want that to happen. And guess think it’s for a thread on preferences rather than this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread.

Sorry if i got it wrong but it seemed relevant as from what i could tell that was the kind of racism being discussed. "

No fair. Don’t apologise. It appears I’m the one that’s wrong. I meant more that I don’t know that I want to discuss my disagreement with you it in this thread rather than it not being relevant to the thread

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread.

I can't think of a more relevant thread for that conversation.

Perhaps this is the place. But I think the thread has mostly avoided the conversations about what is and isn’t racism. Mostly not completely. Whenever the preference vs racism conversation comes up, lots of people crawl out of the cracks and the conversation about other experiences of racism get completely lost. I just didn’t want that to happen. And guess think it’s for a thread on preferences rather than this thread. "

I totally understand that and respect that. I brought up preference early in this thread as for me, that's the banner under which a lot of the racism manifests itself, with probably the second most prevalent example being the binary opposite end ie fetishication.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread.

Sorry if i got it wrong but it seemed relevant as from what i could tell that was the kind of racism being discussed.

No fair. Don’t apologise. It appears I’m the one that’s wrong. I meant more that I don’t know that I want to discuss my disagreement with you it in this thread rather than it not being relevant to the thread "

Thats fair enough

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

I agree that its distasteful to state such things on profile, but can somewhat understand why some people may do. But in the context of a site like this i would say it is preference, which is not always rooted in racism.

I disagree that preference isn’t always rooted in racism but that’s another conversation for another thread.

Sorry if i got it wrong but it seemed relevant as from what i could tell that was the kind of racism being discussed.

No fair. Don’t apologise. It appears I’m the one that’s wrong. I meant more that I don’t know that I want to discuss my disagreement with you it in this thread rather than it not being relevant to the thread

Thats fair enough "

You guys! (HUGS)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias. "

Yes. Plausible deniability

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability"

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I grew up in West London and went to school with plenty of Asian people in certainly not racist. Now I live in northants I have Indian family next door. As far as I'm concerned we are all humans and I treat everyone the same

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’ "

This

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest."

It's downright racism.

I'm sorry OP, but I totally get why you're venting.

The world is full of cunts.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I find the whole “no blacks / Asians (my preference)” and “BBC only”

a bit weird and distasteful to be honest.

It's downright racism.

I'm sorry OP, but I totally get why you're venting.

The world is full of cunts. "

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This "

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?"

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabs is a place where racism is accepted.

Asians for sure are unwelcome by virtue of how the community sees nothing wrong, or is choosing to ignore the issue. There are individuals that are not racist, but as an institution the site is racist.

I suppose I’ll get banned because I believe some mods are perpetuating this too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it helps I've received replies back about my height. We can't help our skin or height. It's their problem and not ours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias. "

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?"

Hypothetically speaking put yourself in the shoes of an ethnic minority and you came across what OP is discussing how would you feel or take the matter???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever. "

I think “BBC only” ticks that off to an extent

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it helps I've received replies back about my height. We can't help our skin or height. It's their problem and not ours. "

I know this is so genuine but no they’re not the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever.

I think “BBC only” ticks that off to an extent "

They need to get their telly fixed...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?"

What explanation do you have for people not finding people they've never met or seen attractive - based on their skin colour/ethnicity alone -other than racism?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

I have experienced racism on this site twice both times I was called a p### I reported it and I changed the wording on my profile to London born of Greek Cypriot origin at least if you want to give me racist comments use the right word racist comment which is b#####

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever.

I think “BBC only” ticks that off to an extent "

Yeah probably. Ironically though, those profiles are reproducing anti Blackness/ racism in fetishisation.

I think the point is, generally when it comes to racial preferences based on attractiveness White people are rarely excluded and that’s because ideas about beauty are rooted in racism mostly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

What explanation do you have for people not finding people they've never met or seen attractive - based on their skin colour/ethnicity alone -other than racism?"

See my comment about racism being so ingrained in British society that a lot of people lack the self awareness to even see it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People here don’t have to find Asians attractive. People can choose who they want to talk to or have meets with.

The issue is that there is a predisposition prejudice that’s ever present, that’s not inclusive but quite the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever.

I think “BBC only” ticks that off to an extent

Yeah probably. Ironically though, those profiles are reproducing anti Blackness/ racism in fetishisation.

I think the point is, generally when it comes to racial preferences based on attractiveness White people are rarely excluded and that’s because ideas about beauty are rooted in racism mostly. "

Also people on this site feel like it’s safer to meet a single white male then a black/Asian

Anyone can be a threat regardless of colour and race. A nutcase is a nutcase because of the way their mind works not because of their race.

Someone’s safety is most paramount and whether your female or male think about your safety first maybe meet for a social to get a feel and understanding of the other. But don’t give the the ish black people are criminals or Asians are terrorist

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"People here don’t have to find Asians attractive. People can choose who they want to talk to or have meets with.

The issue is that there is a predisposition prejudice that’s ever present, that’s not inclusive but quite the opposite. "

This ^

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

Hypothetically speaking put yourself in the shoes of an ethnic minority and you came across what OP is discussing how would you feel or take the matter???"

Thats why im asking questions, i generally want to learn how others feel

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I donr know the answer as I'm white and I don't experience racism. I wish people were treated as people and not by some pre requisite.

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

Hypothetically speaking put yourself in the shoes of an ethnic minority and you came across what OP is discussing how would you feel or take the matter???

Thats why im asking questions, i generally want to learn how others feel "

If you read through the posts you can see people of all colour seem to agree that there’s hostility amongst folks

Hopefully that should answer some of your questions

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I donr know the answer as I'm white and I don't experience racism. I wish people were treated as people and not by some pre requisite. "

We can all hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever.

I think “BBC only” ticks that off to an extent

Yeah probably. Ironically though, those profiles are reproducing anti Blackness/ racism in fetishisation.

I think the point is, generally when it comes to racial preferences based on attractiveness White people are rarely excluded and that’s because ideas about beauty are rooted in racism mostly.

Also people on this site feel like it’s safer to meet a single white male then a black/Asian

Anyone can be a threat regardless of colour and race. A nutcase is a nutcase because of the way their mind works not because of their race.

Someone’s safety is most paramount and whether your female or male think about your safety first maybe meet for a social to get a feel and understanding of the other. But don’t give the the ish black people are criminals or Asians are terrorist "

Yeah I hear that.

Interestingly safety is one reason I wouldn’t meet anyone or any couple that did the fetishising black guys thing. Maybe I’ve watched Get Out too many times I don’t know

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Just come across a profile whom had some lovely pics upon fabing the pics then reading the profile it clearly states no Indians or blacks it’s a

Personal preference

How does this be take that

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"You would think racism is a thing of the past but for whatever reason it’s on the rise again. Look at the reactions to the BLM protests, Trent not singing the national anthem. When the boys missed the pens. It just seems to be getting worse and not just for Asians "

I think that racism is far from a thing of the past. British society is pretty much built on it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?"

The thing is, it’s hard to argue with what a person is attracted to. The question is always ‘why’?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

I've never seen "no whites" on a fab profile. Ever.

I think “BBC only” ticks that off to an extent

Yeah probably. Ironically though, those profiles are reproducing anti Blackness/ racism in fetishisation.

I think the point is, generally when it comes to racial preferences based on attractiveness White people are rarely excluded and that’s because ideas about beauty are rooted in racism mostly.

Also people on this site feel like it’s safer to meet a single white male then a black/Asian

Anyone can be a threat regardless of colour and race. A nutcase is a nutcase because of the way their mind works not because of their race.

Someone’s safety is most paramount and whether your female or male think about your safety first maybe meet for a social to get a feel and understanding of the other. But don’t give the the ish black people are criminals or Asians are terrorist

Yeah I hear that.

Interestingly safety is one reason I wouldn’t meet anyone or any couple that did the fetishising black guys thing. Maybe I’ve watched Get Out too many times I don’t know "

Haha get out and black mirror

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just come across a profile whom had some lovely pics upon fabing the pics then reading the profile it clearly states no Indians or blacks it’s a

Personal preference

How does this be take that "

I’m petty. I remove my fabs when I see profiles like this. They wouldn’t care but I do it anyway

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

Yes. Plausible deniability

‘Not racist, just don’t like em’

This

That to me is a racist statement.

But is that actually what people mean when they put things like no asians, no blacks, no whites on their profiles. In the context of the site is i think that actually what people are saying is

‘I/we find others more sexually attractive’?

That statement is than preference to me not racist?

What explanation do you have for people not finding people they've never met or seen attractive - based on their skin colour/ethnicity alone -other than racism?"

I know i am not sexually attracted to east asian men. Although i have never had sex with them i have in my life time seen hundreds of thousands if not millions of them and have never had the urge to have sex with any of them.

I'm 33 years old i know what i am sexually attracted too and what i am not. And in the context of a sex hook up site where i am here to have nsa sexual hookups, nothing else. I am going to be activity looking for that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!

Ok, so everyone in three areas of the country is racists.

Can you not see a small amount of irony? "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from"

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?"

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?"

No that’s because to every guy on here every hole is a goal

Regardless of who they are

Guys on here would fuck anything with a pulse and I bet someone will comment on this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

No that’s because to every guy on here every hole is a goal

Regardless of who they are

Guys on here would fuck anything with a pulse and I bet someone will comment on this "

Assuming your a guy on here too, would you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I donr know the answer as I'm white and I don't experience racism. I wish people were treated as people and not by some pre requisite. "

Thank you . It’s appreciated

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right."

As a ratio how many profiles tend to have height preferences as supposed to ethnicity preferences???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

No that’s because to every guy on here every hole is a goal

Regardless of who they are

Guys on here would fuck anything with a pulse and I bet someone will comment on this "

I will bite. Some guys would fuck anything with a pulse. Some guys (as can be seen on this thread) are thoughtful and considered.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right."

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from"

Why do people have height preferences? Do they think that the millions of short people are unattractive? Science hasn't answered these questions yet

There is no point in bringing social justice into sexual preferences. They like what they like.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

When white women on here ask for bbc it's racist, according to some people.

When they say no Asian men it's just a preference, apparently.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

No that’s because to every guy on here every hole is a goal

Regardless of who they are

Guys on here would fuck anything with a pulse and I bet someone will comment on this

Assuming your a guy on here too, would you? "

Every hole ain’t a goal me pal for me it’s a connection I’m not looking for notches my verifications can back that up I’m not a regular but I do check in on a regular basis if I can connect with an individual or a lovely couple then great it’s not the end of the world if I do t get laid

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?"

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

No that’s because to every guy on here every hole is a goal

Regardless of who they are

Guys on here would fuck anything with a pulse and I bet someone will comment on this

Assuming your a guy on here too, would you?

Every hole ain’t a goal me pal for me it’s a connection I’m not looking for notches my verifications can back that up I’m not a regular but I do check in on a regular basis if I can connect with an individual or a lovely couple then great it’s not the end of the world if I do t get laid "

How convenient that your insult to every guy that’s on here doesn’t apply to you, a guy that’s on here. Very convenient

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive . "

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think? "

Nice bit of victim shaming. Unsurprising of you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

No that’s because to every guy on here every hole is a goal

Regardless of who they are

Guys on here would fuck anything with a pulse and I bet someone will comment on this

Assuming your a guy on here too, would you?

Every hole ain’t a goal me pal for me it’s a connection I’m not looking for notches my verifications can back that up I’m not a regular but I do check in on a regular basis if I can connect with an individual or a lovely couple then great it’s not the end of the world if I do t get laid

How convenient that your insult to every guy that’s on here doesn’t apply to you, a guy that’s on here. Very convenient "

Mate it’s not an insult to any guy on here

Feel free to take the comments how you wish

I have no intention on offending any one on here whether they’re a single guy gal or couple

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"As a ratio how many profiles tend to have height preferences as supposed to ethnicity preferences???"

It's not even close to being the same thing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think?

Nice bit of victim shaming. Unsurprising of you."

Please don't play the "hard done by" with me again - it won't wash. It was a question to the OP, not to you. If you have a reasoned response, go ahead.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists."

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists.

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply . "

Got any logical argument in hand?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive . "

Is it because you live through racism in day to day life that it might be an automatic thing to presume that having sexual preferences is also racist?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Is it sexist to be straight?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think?

Nice bit of victim shaming. Unsurprising of you.

Please don't play the "hard done by" with me again - it won't wash. It was a question to the OP, not to you. If you have a reasoned response, go ahead."

I’ve followed a lot of your replies and posts Mr Biscuit Tin. Its very clear what your ideologies are.

You ain’t fooling anyone .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it sexist to be straight? "

Racism isn’t real . It’s just made up . Is that the answer you want to hear . It’s interesting those here fighting back the comments of our lived experience .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

Is it because you live through racism in day to day life that it might be an automatic thing to presume that having sexual preferences is also racist? "

Maybe so. But doesn't make it right.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists."

Hi if you read through the thread you will see men and women from ethnic backgrounds have shared their own experiences of having faced racism. Also in the thread it has been clarified that regardless of ethnicity if you don’t find someone attractive that’s something every person is entitled to. However regardless of hair, height of looks taken into account and someone has no Asians or blacks on there profile, can you explain to me where that stems from how has someone just written off millions of people based on ethnicity.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Is it sexist to be straight?

Racism isn’t real . It’s just made up . Is that the answer you want to hear . It’s interesting those here fighting back the comments of our lived experience ."

If you think racism isn’t ream, you have a lot to learn. Shame on you for thinking that

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

Is it because you live through racism in day to day life that it might be an automatic thing to presume that having sexual preferences is also racist? "

It’s very easy for us to spot it. Sorry if it’s ruining your evening hearing our truths . You can ignore this thread if you wish .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it sexist to be straight?

Racism isn’t real . It’s just made up . Is that the answer you want to hear . It’s interesting those here fighting back the comments of our lived experience ."

No one ever said that. At the same time, no one is going to agree with every incident you point fingers at and call racism unless you have evidence for it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it sexist to be straight?

Racism isn’t real . It’s just made up . Is that the answer you want to hear . It’s interesting those here fighting back the comments of our lived experience .

If you think racism isn’t ream, you have a lot to learn. Shame on you for thinking that "

Ream

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shock horror racism on the site is denied - it's just "preference". Profiles saying "no Asians" when the continent has 48 countries and people can have a multitude of appearances. But..it's preference. Right.

I'm sorry OP. The forum can be a great, fun place but there is a toxic underbelly and you're seeing it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists."

Racism is way way way deeper than hating or having a lower opinion of someone because of their race by the way. In fact it’s been argued that racism/ white supremacy is a system of oppression that goes beyond individuals and actually into how things have historically been reproduced and used to create myths and hierarchies etc.

Based on this stuff, the idea that racism is actually something that we can unconsciously uphold/ reproduce is not far fetched at all. Especially given the way global beauty standards but specifically western beauty standards are constantly exclusionary.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull

It’s obvious that this thread is getting out of hand

I’m in support of OP as a fellow ethnic minority I fully support where he’s coming from as I’ve experienced the same

I ain’t bothered what people decide to take from this, as I’m sure there’s some people whom appreciate and would be happy to meet Asian guys

Connection is greater than colour

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!"

OK first of all OP. I must declare that i haven't read any further than your original post.

You mention racism and stereotyping towards Asians!!

Can i just facetiously mention that you seem to have a collective stereotype for Asian people.

You do realise that Asia is a massive continent with many cultures? Referring to them collectively as one race is probably the most racist thing you can actually do???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply . "

That to me is a perfectly reasonable question and one you should be able to answer. Especially when calling people with certain preference's racist. Disappoint that you just come with a silly remark.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shock horror racism on the site is denied - it's just "preference". Profiles saying "no Asians" when the continent has 48 countries and people can have a multitude of appearances. But..it's preference. Right.

I'm sorry OP. The forum can be a great, fun place but there is a toxic underbelly and you're seeing it. "

I’ve ignored the racism on this site. I actually left this site a few years back because it was bad. I returned and thought I’d ignore the the racism as well, I knew what site I was joining.

Do I enjoy the forum , I actually do. I like the site.

I won’t buy a subscription, because the site isn’t run to treat all people equal.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply .

That to me is a perfectly reasonable question and one you should be able to answer. Especially when calling people with certain preference's racist. Disappoint that you just come with a silly remark. "

Show me where I claimed preference was racist . You can’t because didn’t say that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

Is it because you live through racism in day to day life that it might be an automatic thing to presume that having sexual preferences is also racist?

It’s very easy for us to spot it. Sorry if it’s ruining your evening hearing our truths . You can ignore this thread if you wish . "

I don’t want to ignore anything, i want to have a open honest and safe conversation about this.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists.

Hi if you read through the thread you will see men and women from ethnic backgrounds have shared their own experiences of having faced racism. Also in the thread it has been clarified that regardless of ethnicity if you don’t find someone attractive that’s something every person is entitled to. However regardless of hair, height of looks taken into account and someone has no Asians or blacks on there profile, can you explain to me where that stems from how has someone just written off millions of people based on ethnicity."

People having experienced racism in real life doesn't imply or prove that sexual preferences are down to racism. I have seen some profiles saying only "over 6 feet". Why can't skin colour also be a preference like that? Not saying none of them are racist. There are definitely some racists among them. But not all.

Think about this. Is a man looking only for a submissive woman for sex a misogynist in real life? Sexual preferences are complex. There is no clear understanding of it. I am just saying it's wrong to take a default stance of racism. I have had real life friendship with two women both if whom have mentioned they will date specific races which they found attractive. I did not belong to any of them. But they always treated me nicely. I would never call them racist in any way.

No one is entitled to have sex. No one is obligated to explain their sexual preferences. It doesn't help anyone to just assume it's racism and cause ruckus over it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think?

Nice bit of victim shaming. Unsurprising of you.

Please don't play the "hard done by" with me again - it won't wash. It was a question to the OP, not to you. If you have a reasoned response, go ahead."

As someone above mentioned, MOST men, as the saying goes consider any hole as a goal. Also this is a site that women get a lot more messages then single men, can we agree? So women generally have the pick and final say.

My question to you is what do you feel it is about Asian men women don’t find attractive. Seen as you are generalising it must be something all Asian men have hence it is appropriate to right it as a preference

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?"

Racism is a personal choice , that’s illegal in society. I don’t believe people are born racist. They are taught, nurtured by family, peers, community and media.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"Yes, there is a lot, but it hides in plain site because so many people are prepared to accept the excuse of preference, without questioning what the 'preference' that you don't find several million people you've never seen or met attractive - based solely on their ethnicity - might actually be rooted in."

I buy a car because I like what it has to offer, from its colour, to it's engine, to its comfort level, it's size, it's shape among others. Now, I live in England and I have a wide choice of cars to choose from. Just because I haven't test driven every single make and model of car available, does that mean I should be questioned on my choice of car that I choose to drive?

People are allowed a choice, a preference to not like anything they choose.. Just like people have a choice to choose what they do like.

If a guy says he prefers blonde women over brunettes, does that make him wrong? If a woman prefers guys with a big cock to those with a small cock, does that make her wrong?

If we don't find people with straight black hair attractive, are we racist because it rules the vast majority of Asians? Similarly if we don't find brown eyes attractive, again, are we racist? No! It may not necessarily be the race or ethnicity that people dislike, it may be their physical attributes.

Sick to death of people throwing the race card out there, just because people choose not to interact with someone they don't want to.

Do we meet Asians to play with as swingers? Nope.

Do we socialise with Asian people on a friend and work basis? Yes.

Are we racist? No.

Just because people don't want to shag or swing with Asians, doesn't make them racist, just as people of colour are not racist when they don't want to shag or swing with Caucasian people.

Colour is a physical attribute, that not everyone has to like. Same as any other physical attribute that you see as a reason for wanting/not wanting to swing with a person.

Do we find TV's /CD's attractive to swing with? No, so we don't. Yet there's an option to not be messaged by these people. Put up an option to block people based on their ethnicity and the world screams 'racism'. The hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Do we meet MM couples? No. Because we don't want to. Chances are they'd be bi or gay and that's a perfectly good reason for there to be a button telling the whole site we don't want to meet them, and a message filter so they can't message us. Again, there's no such filter for ethnicity.

If people stop questioning other people's choices and opinions, racism, homophobia will die a death.

While we keep having media reminding us of racism, while the LGBTQ community keep drawing attention to themselves by going on Pride Marches asking to be treated as 'normal', we will never end these racist and homophibic attacks.

Do straight Caucasians feel the need to march through cities announcing the fact they are straight? No.

If you want to blend in and be treated as everyone else is.. Stop drawing attention to yourselves.

21st century now.. We have a woke culture that wants to be offended and upset by everything.. Their biggest problem is not the problem itself.. Its deciding whether to be simply triggered by it, or choose to take grave offence.

Live your lives as you see fit, let others do the same. I don't question people's ethics or moral compass direction.. None of my business.

Focus on your own lives and it what others think, say or do. They have a choice too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing the race card over other people attractions and personal choices is kind of a excuse to get attention. Why be asi as n black Indian white purple or any color. If someone not attracted why complain ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if it's not always about racism, but people sitting in their comfort zone, surrounding themselves comfortably with what they are already familiar with.

With what they've been around most of their lives.

Be that a race, gender, class, age group, you name it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Referring to them collectively as one race is probably the most racist thing you can actually do???"

The most racist thing? Would you like to borrow a history book, or a logic textbook?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Racism is way way way deeper than hating or having a lower opinion of someone because of their race by the way. In fact it’s been argued that racism/ white supremacy is a system of oppression that goes beyond individuals and actually into how things have historically been reproduced and used to create myths and hierarchies etc.

Based on this stuff, the idea that racism is actually something that we can unconsciously uphold/ reproduce is not far fetched at all. Especially given the way global beauty standards but specifically western beauty standards are constantly exclusionary.

"

Now we are going to redefine racism as we wish.

Sounds a lot like a typical post-modernist theory written in such a way that you can never disprove. Based on this, it's easy to claim each and every behaviour to be racist without having any rational evidence.

Sorry, I am more of an enlightment person. Unflasifiable theories do not appeal to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Your going to find sexism racism and anything else in all four corners of the planet but in between nothing it's all down to people not town or city

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think?

Nice bit of victim shaming. Unsurprising of you.

Please don't play the "hard done by" with me again - it won't wash. It was a question to the OP, not to you. If you have a reasoned response, go ahead.

As someone above mentioned, MOST men, as the saying goes consider any hole as a goal. Also this is a site that women get a lot more messages then single men, can we agree? So women generally have the pick and final say.

My question to you is what do you feel it is about Asian men women don’t find attractive. Seen as you are generalising it must be something all Asian men have hence it is appropriate to right it as a preference"

Well, you didn't really answer my question, I wasn't generalising it was quite specific, but thank you at least for an intelligent response. In answer to your question, I have no idea why women don't find Asian men attractive. It's definitely racism, there can be no other reason. I personally find Asian men very attractive, but I do get some very rude responses when I've DM'd them. I even got called a f*gg*t by one! He's gone now

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shock horror racism on the site is denied - it's just "preference". Profiles saying "no Asians" when the continent has 48 countries and people can have a multitude of appearances. But..it's preference. Right.

I'm sorry OP. The forum can be a great, fun place but there is a toxic underbelly and you're seeing it.

I’ve ignored the racism on this site. I actually left this site a few years back because it was bad. I returned and thought I’d ignore the the racism as well, I knew what site I was joining.

Do I enjoy the forum , I actually do. I like the site.

I won’t buy a subscription, because the site isn’t run to treat all people equal. "

I imagine that anyone who experiences regular racism on the site might want to just give up and throw the towel in.

racism is problematic everywhere - you must see it in the forum, on profile, status updates and in messages. I try to be an ally on every thread like this, but I don't know if I could stay if I encountered negativity towards my skin colour everywhere I turned.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply .

That to me is a perfectly reasonable question and one you should be able to answer. Especially when calling people with certain preference's racist. Disappoint that you just come with a silly remark.

Show me where I claimed preference was racist . You can’t because didn’t say that. "

Apologise if i got the wrong end of the stick but based on what we have been all discussing about racism and preferences. What are you saying is racist on this site than, if its not what we have been discussing?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, there is a lot, but it hides in plain site because so many people are prepared to accept the excuse of preference, without questioning what the 'preference' that you don't find several million people you've never seen or met attractive - based solely on their ethnicity - might actually be rooted in.

I buy a car because I like what it has to offer, from its colour, to it's engine, to its comfort level, it's size, it's shape among others. Now, I live in England and I have a wide choice of cars to choose from. Just because I haven't test driven every single make and model of car available, does that mean I should be questioned on my choice of car that I choose to drive?

People are allowed a choice, a preference to not like anything they choose.. Just like people have a choice to choose what they do like.

If a guy says he prefers blonde women over brunettes, does that make him wrong? If a woman prefers guys with a big cock to those with a small cock, does that make her wrong?

If we don't find people with straight black hair attractive, are we racist because it rules the vast majority of Asians? Similarly if we don't find brown eyes attractive, again, are we racist? No! It may not necessarily be the race or ethnicity that people dislike, it may be their physical attributes.

Sick to death of people throwing the race card out there, just because people choose not to interact with someone they don't want to.

Do we meet Asians to play with as swingers? Nope.

Do we socialise with Asian people on a friend and work basis? Yes.

Are we racist? No.

Just because people don't want to shag or swing with Asians, doesn't make them racist, just as people of colour are not racist when they don't want to shag or swing with Caucasian people.

Colour is a physical attribute, that not everyone has to like. Same as any other physical attribute that you see as a reason for wanting/not wanting to swing with a person.

Do we find TV's /CD's attractive to swing with? No, so we don't. Yet there's an option to not be messaged by these people. Put up an option to block people based on their ethnicity and the world screams 'racism'. The hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Do we meet MM couples? No. Because we don't want to. Chances are they'd be bi or gay and that's a perfectly good reason for there to be a button telling the whole site we don't want to meet them, and a message filter so they can't message us. Again, there's no such filter for ethnicity.

If people stop questioning other people's choices and opinions, racism, homophobia will die a death.

While we keep having media reminding us of racism, while the LGBTQ community keep drawing attention to themselves by going on Pride Marches asking to be treated as 'normal', we will never end these racist and homophibic attacks.

Do straight Caucasians feel the need to march through cities announcing the fact they are straight? No.

If you want to blend in and be treated as everyone else is.. Stop drawing attention to yourselves.

21st century now.. We have a woke culture that wants to be offended and upset by everything.. Their biggest problem is not the problem itself.. Its deciding whether to be simply triggered by it, or choose to take grave offence.

Live your lives as you see fit, let others do the same. I don't question people's ethics or moral compass direction.. None of my business.

Focus on your own lives and it what others think, say or do. They have a choice too.

"

Great post! But sadly no one you want to convince will be convinced.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I see it, people seem to think or act as if preferences are immutable and set in stone. They’re really not.

Preferences can be challenged, they can be changed and they can be questioned.

I also have found that often preferences are the public face of various ‘ism’s and phobias.

A question say someone has a preference of no Asians on there profile, do you think I should message them and ask why? Do you not think I’m just setting myself up to receive abuse?

Also what are the motives of the people to right such a statement, they don’t find not 1 out of the millions of Asians attractive. Where do you think this stems from

Just out of interest, do you see "no Asians" on many single guys' profiles who are only looking for women?

Why do you think single women and couples do though?

I don't really know, I was just interested. Your original post specified locations of racism, I just wondered if one sex or the other was more likely to have this on their profile. It occurs to me that maybe guys really aren't bothered by the race of the prospective meet and aren't as racist in this respect as women. Unless there's another reason more women won't meet Asian men, than men won't meet Asian women do you think?

Nice bit of victim shaming. Unsurprising of you.

Please don't play the "hard done by" with me again - it won't wash. It was a question to the OP, not to you. If you have a reasoned response, go ahead.

As someone above mentioned, MOST men, as the saying goes consider any hole as a goal. Also this is a site that women get a lot more messages then single men, can we agree? So women generally have the pick and final say.

My question to you is what do you feel it is about Asian men women don’t find attractive. Seen as you are generalising it must be something all Asian men have hence it is appropriate to right it as a preference

Well, you didn't really answer my question, I wasn't generalising it was quite specific, but thank you at least for an intelligent response. In answer to your question, I have no idea why women don't find Asian men attractive. It's definitely racism, there can be no other reason. I personally find Asian men very attractive, but I do get some very rude responses when I've DM'd them. I even got called a f*gg*t by one! He's gone now "

Why should the victims of racism identify the reasons why people are racist. Perhaps I can ask why you are ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you are talking a lot real life racism, you may be right. But we have to look at hate crime or hate speech cases to see if it's true.

If you are going by people's sexual preferences, it's wrong. Just like height and age, skin colour can also be a preference. Who one wants to have sex with is upto them. There are lots of reasons behind this. Blindly rushing into conclusion that this is racism is not right.

There is nothing blindly jumping to racism as the reason. People of colour live through this daily and we spot it easily . Sorry if it’s uncomfortable reading and trying to find an alternative reason is clearly defensive .

How is this different from people having height preferences? Racism is having lower opinion of someone because of race. Having sexual preferences inclusive or exclusive of race doesn't imply the person hates the excluded race. I personally am never attracted to women with short hair (Yes, even Meg Ryan) for some reason. Does that mean I have lower opinion of women with short hair? Not at all. There can be millions of reasons for how one's physical attraction is shaped up. Without knowing the reason, it's unfair to call people racists.

Hi if you read through the thread you will see men and women from ethnic backgrounds have shared their own experiences of having faced racism. Also in the thread it has been clarified that regardless of ethnicity if you don’t find someone attractive that’s something every person is entitled to. However regardless of hair, height of looks taken into account and someone has no Asians or blacks on there profile, can you explain to me where that stems from how has someone just written off millions of people based on ethnicity.

People having experienced racism in real life doesn't imply or prove that sexual preferences are down to racism. I have seen some profiles saying only "over 6 feet". Why can't skin colour also be a preference like that? Not saying none of them are racist. There are definitely some racists among them. But not all.

Think about this. Is a man looking only for a submissive woman for sex a misogynist in real life? Sexual preferences are complex. There is no clear understanding of it. I am just saying it's wrong to take a default stance of racism. I have had real life friendship with two women both if whom have mentioned they will date specific races which they found attractive. I did not belong to any of them. But they always treated me nicely. I would never call them racist in any way.

No one is entitled to have sex. No one is obligated to explain their sexual preferences. It doesn't help anyone to just assume it's racism and cause ruckus over it."

If you read the thread you all will see we were discussing actual incidents we have faced on this site relating to racism and clear racism.

With regards to preference everyone is entitled to preference and attraction. I am attracted to curvier women for example. So when a profile states no Asian I don’t really dwell on it and pass the profile without messaging them. However again if you look through the thread 3 different people (men and women) spoke about incidents that occurred when messaging back and forth with people and how the conversations took a turn for the worst when ethnicity was mentioned.

Stop making this about preference because it is not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be you no matter your race.. be proud of that fact we all have our indifferences . It's not a "racist" analogy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?

Racism is a personal choice , that’s illegal in society. I don’t believe people are born racist. They are taught, nurtured by family, peers, community and media. "

Missed the point here I think..

I think personal choice has absolutely no connotations when it comes to racism.

If you are a white female who has absolutely no attraction to black male's. Does this make you racist?? No. Its a personal preference.

It's like saying if a straight male doesn't want to have sex with a male who

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"While we keep having media reminding us of racism, while the LGBTQ community keep drawing attention to themselves by going on Pride Marches asking to be treated as 'normal', we will never end these racist and homophibic attacks.

Do straight Caucasians feel the need to march through cities announcing the fact they are straight? No. "

So, the LGBTQ community's public demand to be treated as 'normal' is a reason for homophobic attacks.

That's a new one on me. I thought the reason was complete and utter cunts.

No, straight white men don't feel the need to march for inclusion, representation and an end to discrimination. There's a reason for that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Playing the race card over other people attractions and personal choices is kind of a excuse to get attention. Why be asi as n black Indian white purple or any color. If someone not attracted why complain ?"

OMG

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply .

That to me is a perfectly reasonable question and one you should be able to answer. Especially when calling people with certain preference's racist. Disappoint that you just come with a silly remark.

Show me where I claimed preference was racist . You can’t because didn’t say that.

Apologise if i got the wrong end of the stick but based on what we have been all discussing about racism and preferences. What are you saying is racist on this site than, if its not what we have been discussing? "

The predisposition of behaviour that’s common place here. There lack of action by mods on racist posts and comments. The acceptance of behaviour of racism seen as banter or jokes on Asians by members here. The defensive reaction of many here when race is mentioned.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve encountered quite a lot of racism on this site directed at Asians, people stereotyping and falling for the media narrative labelling the masses under the label the few have.

However I would like to point out I’ve noticed North of Sheffield the Northerners don’t see colour and see the person for who they are (hardly any racism) however east Anglia, east mids and south of the country especially omg you people need to wake up!"

Can you ask your mum for my pants back please.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?

Racism is a personal choice , that’s illegal in society. I don’t believe people are born racist. They are taught, nurtured by family, peers, community and media. "

Missed the point here I think..

I think personal choice has absolutely no connotations when it comes to racism.

If you are a white female who has absolutely no attraction to black male's. Does this make you racist?? No. Its a personal preference.

It's like saying if a straight male doesn't want to have sex with a trans male who is identifying as a female is homophobic.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull

OP just give upon this thread mate it ain’t gonna get you anywhere as you can see from the comments people are just gonna accuse you of playing the race card

I wish you the best of luck on this site and hope you meet people without any prejudice or preference just straight up adult fun after all that’s what this site was made for I think

Not for publishing 420,snow colour height weight preferences

All the best mate

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Playing the race card over other people attractions and personal choices is kind of a excuse to get attention. Why be asi as n black Indian white purple or any color. If someone not attracted why complain ?

OMG "

omg what it's personal choices. is it not?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?

Racism is a personal choice , that’s illegal in society. I don’t believe people are born racist. They are taught, nurtured by family, peers, community and media.

Missed the point here I think..

I think personal choice has absolutely no connotations when it comes to racism.

If you are a white female who has absolutely no attraction to black male's. Does this make you racist?? No. Its a personal preference.

It's like saying if a straight male doesn't want to have sex with a male who "

Racists will use whatever distraction to move the conversation, away from the specific topic of race. Gender , sexual orientation isn’t the same as race . But you’d wouldn’t understand this, because racism doesn’t effect you on a day to day .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"Yes, there is a lot, but it hides in plain site because so many people are prepared to accept the excuse of preference, without questioning what the 'preference' that you don't find several million people you've never seen or met attractive - based solely on their ethnicity - might actually be rooted in.

I buy a car because I like what it has to offer, from its colour, to it's engine, to its comfort level, it's size, it's shape among others. Now, I live in England and I have a wide choice of cars to choose from. Just because I haven't test driven every single make and model of car available, does that mean I should be questioned on my choice of car that I choose to drive?

People are allowed a choice, a preference to not like anything they choose.. Just like people have a choice to choose what they do like.

If a guy says he prefers blonde women over brunettes, does that make him wrong? If a woman prefers guys with a big cock to those with a small cock, does that make her wrong?

If we don't find people with straight black hair attractive, are we racist because it rules the vast majority of Asians? Similarly if we don't find brown eyes attractive, again, are we racist? No! It may not necessarily be the race or ethnicity that people dislike, it may be their physical attributes.

Sick to death of people throwing the race card out there, just because people choose not to interact with someone they don't want to.

Do we meet Asians to play with as swingers? Nope.

Do we socialise with Asian people on a friend and work basis? Yes.

Are we racist? No.

Just because people don't want to shag or swing with Asians, doesn't make them racist, just as people of colour are not racist when they don't want to shag or swing with Caucasian people.

Colour is a physical attribute, that not everyone has to like. Same as any other physical attribute that you see as a reason for wanting/not wanting to swing with a person.

Do we find TV's /CD's attractive to swing with? No, so we don't. Yet there's an option to not be messaged by these people. Put up an option to block people based on their ethnicity and the world screams 'racism'. The hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Do we meet MM couples? No. Because we don't want to. Chances are they'd be bi or gay and that's a perfectly good reason for there to be a button telling the whole site we don't want to meet them, and a message filter so they can't message us. Again, there's no such filter for ethnicity.

If people stop questioning other people's choices and opinions, racism, homophobia will die a death.

While we keep having media reminding us of racism, while the LGBTQ community keep drawing attention to themselves by going on Pride Marches asking to be treated as 'normal', we will never end these racist and homophibic attacks.

Do straight Caucasians feel the need to march through cities announcing the fact they are straight? No.

If you want to blend in and be treated as everyone else is.. Stop drawing attention to yourselves.

21st century now.. We have a woke culture that wants to be offended and upset by everything.. Their biggest problem is not the problem itself.. Its deciding whether to be simply triggered by it, or choose to take grave offence.

Live your lives as you see fit, let others do the same. I don't question people's ethics or moral compass direction.. None of my business.

Focus on your own lives and it what others think, say or do. They have a choice too.

Great post! But sadly no one you want to convince will be convinced."

I don't want to convince anyone.. I don't care about other people enough to give a shit about what they think about Asians, gays, astronauts, farmers, trans, or any job, ethnicity or lifestyle choice. People's reasons for anything they do or don't do, are their own and for nobody else to judge.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"OP just give upon this thread mate it ain’t gonna get you anywhere as you can see from the comments people are just gonna accuse you of playing the race card

I wish you the best of luck on this site and hope you meet people without any prejudice or preference just straight up adult fun after all that’s what this site was made for I think

Not for publishing 420,snow colour height weight preferences

All the best mate "

The real question is, would this thread have gotten him anywhere either way?

If someone won’t fuck you, they won’t fuck you

Whether it’s racist or preference. If someone don’t wanna fuck, it ain’t happening

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP just give upon this thread mate it ain’t gonna get you anywhere as you can see from the comments people are just gonna accuse you of playing the race card

I wish you the best of luck on this site and hope you meet people without any prejudice or preference just straight up adult fun after all that’s what this site was made for I think

Not for publishing 420,snow colour height weight preferences

All the best mate "

I will expect many of us will be silenced by our removal. It might. It happen tonight or tomorrow, but I expect to be removed for holding up a mirror.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Playing the race card over other people attractions and personal choices is kind of a excuse to get attention. Why be asi as n black Indian white purple or any color. If someone not attracted why complain ?

OMG omg what it's personal choices. is it not? "

You've just accused the OP and others of using the racism they've encountered to get attention. Oh my fucking god.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP just give upon this thread mate it ain’t gonna get you anywhere as you can see from the comments people are just gonna accuse you of playing the race card

I wish you the best of luck on this site and hope you meet people without any prejudice or preference just straight up adult fun after all that’s what this site was made for I think

Not for publishing 420,snow colour height weight preferences

All the best mate

The real question is, would this thread have gotten him anywhere either way?

If someone won’t fuck you, they won’t fuck you

Whether it’s racist or preference. If someone don’t wanna fuck, it ain’t happening "

I like the simplicity of your poor understanding. And that you’ve completely missed the point of this thread.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Cheers

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" However again if you look through the thread 3 different people (men and women) spoke about incidents that occurred when messaging back and forth with people and how the conversations took a turn for the worst when ethnicity was mentioned.

Stop making this about preference because it is not."

What exactly do you mean by taking turn for the worst? They decided not to have sex? Or did they make a racist verbal attack? It it's the latter, they are racists. If it's the former, it's just one of those people who did mention their preferences in their profile. I personally think it's better if people just mention it in their profile. I will just block them so that they don't appear on my search results and I don't waste time sending messages.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, there is a lot, but it hides in plain site because so many people are prepared to accept the excuse of preference, without questioning what the 'preference' that you don't find several million people you've never seen or met attractive - based solely on their ethnicity - might actually be rooted in.

I buy a car because I like what it has to offer, from its colour, to it's engine, to its comfort level, it's size, it's shape among others. Now, I live in England and I have a wide choice of cars to choose from. Just because I haven't test driven every single make and model of car available, does that mean I should be questioned on my choice of car that I choose to drive?

People are allowed a choice, a preference to not like anything they choose.. Just like people have a choice to choose what they do like.

If a guy says he prefers blonde women over brunettes, does that make him wrong? If a woman prefers guys with a big cock to those with a small cock, does that make her wrong?

If we don't find people with straight black hair attractive, are we racist because it rules the vast majority of Asians? Similarly if we don't find brown eyes attractive, again, are we racist? No! It may not necessarily be the race or ethnicity that people dislike, it may be their physical attributes.

Sick to death of people throwing the race card out there, just because people choose not to interact with someone they don't want to.

Do we meet Asians to play with as swingers? Nope.

Do we socialise with Asian people on a friend and work basis? Yes.

Are we racist? No.

Just because people don't want to shag or swing with Asians, doesn't make them racist, just as people of colour are not racist when they don't want to shag or swing with Caucasian people.

Colour is a physical attribute, that not everyone has to like. Same as any other physical attribute that you see as a reason for wanting/not wanting to swing with a person.

Do we find TV's /CD's attractive to swing with? No, so we don't. Yet there's an option to not be messaged by these people. Put up an option to block people based on their ethnicity and the world screams 'racism'. The hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Do we meet MM couples? No. Because we don't want to. Chances are they'd be bi or gay and that's a perfectly good reason for there to be a button telling the whole site we don't want to meet them, and a message filter so they can't message us. Again, there's no such filter for ethnicity.

If people stop questioning other people's choices and opinions, racism, homophobia will die a death.

While we keep having media reminding us of racism, while the LGBTQ community keep drawing attention to themselves by going on Pride Marches asking to be treated as 'normal', we will never end these racist and homophibic attacks.

Do straight Caucasians feel the need to march through cities announcing the fact they are straight? No.

If you want to blend in and be treated as everyone else is.. Stop drawing attention to yourselves.

21st century now.. We have a woke culture that wants to be offended and upset by everything.. Their biggest problem is not the problem itself.. Its deciding whether to be simply triggered by it, or choose to take grave offence.

Live your lives as you see fit, let others do the same. I don't question people's ethics or moral compass direction.. None of my business.

Focus on your own lives and it what others think, say or do. They have a choice too.

Great post! But sadly no one you want to convince will be convinced.

I don't want to convince anyone.. I don't care about other people enough to give a shit about what they think about Asians, gays, astronauts, farmers, trans, or any job, ethnicity or lifestyle choice. People's reasons for anything they do or don't do, are their own and for nobody else to judge. "

You said this "If people stop questioning other people's choices and opinions, racism, homophobia will die a death" and I cannot take anything else you say seriously. Sorry.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"

Hilarious how racism is now forming part of other traits such as height , hair style. This: it ain’t racist defensive 101 handbook reply .

That to me is a perfectly reasonable question and one you should be able to answer. Especially when calling people with certain preference's racist. Disappoint that you just come with a silly remark.

Show me where I claimed preference was racist . You can’t because didn’t say that.

Apologise if i got the wrong end of the stick but based on what we have been all discussing about racism and preferences. What are you saying is racist on this site than, if its not what we have been discussing?

The predisposition of behaviour that’s common place here. There lack of action by mods on racist posts and comments. The acceptance of behaviour of racism seen as banter or jokes on Asians by members here. The defensive reaction of many here when race is mentioned. "

thank you i totally see your point on those issues. I hope more is done by admin to ban these people

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?

Racism is a personal choice , that’s illegal in society. I don’t believe people are born racist. They are taught, nurtured by family, peers, community and media.

Missed the point here I think..

I think personal choice has absolutely no connotations when it comes to racism.

If you are a white female who has absolutely no attraction to black male's. Does this make you racist?? No. Its a personal preference.

It's like saying if a straight male doesn't want to have sex with a male who

Racists will use whatever distraction to move the conversation, away from the specific topic of race. Gender , sexual orientation isn’t the same as race . But you’d wouldn’t understand this, because racism doesn’t effect you on a day to day . "

how so I attracted to other races . But yet to their sexual preferences falls into a catagory I choose not to engage is that racism or a personal choice?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't doubt it happens OP. I haven't experienced it on here myself because people assume I'm white from my pics but I've definitely had it on the dating apps. Which is even worse because like, they've matched me just to call me a dirty P word or whatever

It's not happened since I've changed my name on there (my face is pretty ethnically ambiguous) but it does get a bit awkward when I have to explain why I use a fake name.

Really sorry to hear you have experienced such instances to. But you shouldn’t have to change your name and hide you heritage from anyone. We should all be proud and embrace the beauty of different races and years and centuries of different gene pools mixing to create us.

I’ve experienced on this site 2 separate instances where one single female and another couple replied back to me using racism. Now both profiles didn’t have preferences and I did not message anything profound to warrant such a response. To be honest I would have much rather preferred your ugly we don’t find you attractive or something along them lines, rather than being racist and blocking me before I can report you for the way you have messaged me. I’m a grown man I can handle rejection but racism boils my blood"

If all the people who have joined new to the thread gave themselves 5 minutes to read the full discussion rather than Chuck there 2 sense on preference they would know the above was discussed and not preference.

If a profile states a preference for no Asians I won’t bother with it, regardless of where that stems from. We were talking about instances where dialogue between individuals and messages were sent and when the victims ethnicity was mentioned they were subject to racist comments.

We had a Greek male who also commented on the thread that he had been called the P word and had to clarify he was Greek to get away from the abuse.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham


"Is racism a personal choice... Alot of people have their own personal choices on attraction..is it racist or your own choices on your endeavors..?

Racism is a personal choice , that’s illegal in society. I don’t believe people are born racist. They are taught, nurtured by family, peers, community and media.

Missed the point here I think..

I think personal choice has absolutely no connotations when it comes to racism.

If you are a white female who has absolutely no attraction to black male's. Does this make you racist?? No. Its a personal preference.

It's like saying if a straight male doesn't want to have sex with a male who

Racists will use whatever distraction to move the conversation, away from the specific topic of race. Gender , sexual orientation isn’t the same as race . But you’d wouldn’t understand this, because racism doesn’t effect you on a day to day . "

Believe it or not, like it or not, people can choose not to like people of differing ethnicity, race, colour or creed.

Remember.. Offence is only taken, never given. You make a conscious decision whether to be offended by something or not. If you choose not to be offended, then no offence is taken, the person you assume wants to offend has failed.. And you win!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

People having experienced racism in real life doesn't imply or prove that sexual preferences are down to racism. I have seen some profiles saying only "over 6 feet". Why can't skin colour also be a preference like that? Not saying none of them are racist. There are definitely some racists among them. But not all.

"

To make a point I’ve made before, recognising that thoughts/thought processes and also to an extent our ‘tastes’ on certain things are not entirely innate and are made by or influenced by society is completely fair. To say that society’s ideas on beauty which are made over time and are a reproduction of different dominant ideas influence our thought processes or our tastes is simply to reaffirm that people aren’t born with these ideas.

Also people struggle with understanding the concept that we can reproduce dominant ideas and uphold domination (in this case racial) without being a racist. By that it’s to recognise that an act itself may be racist or contributing to the maintenance of domination or upholding of racism as a system of oppression, without then applying the label racist to that person. A person can do racist things without being a racist. It’s pretty basic. A person can think things that are a product of racism without saying they’re a racist. It’s just recognising the extent to which these problems exist. This is pretty easily applicable across isms. Take gender for example- there are plenty of things in our behaviour and thought processes that before challenging and trying to unlearn, and even after, are rooted in the reproduction of sexist/ misogynistic ideas. And this affects dominated groups too by the way. Internalised sexism/ misogyny, internalised anti Blackness, internalised homophobia etc.

Anyway to go back to the original point, I think it’s fair to recognise that some of our views and/or tastes come from society and are made dangerous or reproduction of dominance over time. This is not to again say, sexual preferences or desires make you a racist, simply that they are rooted in racist ideas, reproduced in society over time that are also dominant ideas. It’s ok to accept that and to work through that. To maybe even challenge it. People get so bothered about being labelled racist and it stops them from interrogating how something they did or said either was racist or contributes to the wider reproduction of racist ideas. More important than being labelled racist is understanding why and learning to challenge and unlearn those behaviour/ thought processes. - if I got in my feelings about everytime someone challenged my behaviour or thought processes and how they uphold the patriarchy, what I’m actually doing is upholding the patriarchy further by not exploring where these things came from and how I can unlearn them to protect other people. Less focus on avoiding labels more focus on challenging dominance and making the world better, safer for others. It’s 4 am so excuse any mistakes.

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