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Late musing.. introspection

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So,

Why do I do it?

Why do I go out to the club?

Is it a cheap thrill? No, not at all

Is it to make a connection with someone equally as open minded? Yes absolutely

But I sit back and watch, and feel I shouldn't be there, it's heavily man laden and I hate adding to that atmosphere, is that odd, or oversensitive?

I've been told tonight I worry too much about how I'm viewed, and have too self deprecating an outlook.

Wierd as that would indicate a a lack of confidence, yet still I make the trek and effort in order to make a connection that I see others have been lucky enough to find

Should I stop going? But if I sit back and wait no one's going to come looking, a dichotomy...

Thoughts?

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

I can empathise with that, being a single guy in a club that has a high proportion of single guys does remind me of the phrase ‘you aren’t in traffic, you are traffic’, and yes that feeling of merely adding to the problem can take the fun out of it, but equally, what’s the alternative? Lots of forum posts say that clubs are still the best way to meet people, though I’m not sure that’s necessarily true in my experience it does allow for opportunities, and often there is then at least something to watch if nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well at least you recognise that you’re just another man in a sea of men .. some people on here are very blinkered in that respect.

The amount of times I’ve seen men say that the number of men on here or clubs should be restricted so that the “decent men” have a better chance, like they always think that THEY should make the cut but “other” men should be excluded …

Anyway, if you’re allowed to go, go, have fun and enjoy yourself! Don’t let the presence of others put you off and as you say, if you don’t go nobody is going to come get you and drag you back there. Look after number 1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally.. I couldn’t go to a club again - not my thing at all and I just couldn’t do it.

It’s like here - a sea of men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im a single guy that hasn't been to a club, yet want to.

all this kinda puts me off a bit tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I add as this interests me

When I paid my one and only visit to a ‘club’ I felt like it was an extremely seedy and frankly awful place. Lots of men - just standing about with bits out just staring and following women and couples.

I felt uncomfortable and sick ! I left after giving it the benefit of the doubt for a while .

If you have those feelings that you’re having, yet you keep going for a ‘connection’ then maybe, find a connection elsewhere.

I know a lot of people like clubs - I personally can’t think of anything worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The walking wanking dead. Every club has em. But this isn’t a problem if you see it as an advantage. Make eye contact, smile, say hello normal person stuff really stands out. When I was doing clubs every guy I was with stood out for just taking the time to be normal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, I feel I need to clarify here slightly, this post was and is in NO WAY a "woe is me" why don't I get any type post.

I see to many of these and I hate them, usually self serving narcissistic posts.

However, it does bring into contrast the fact I feel very comfy in a space with a good mix of genders, whatever "action" may or may not transpire (those who know me will also know usually my play is kink and I end up tying a number of people so they can enjoy each other rather than any sex myself) but have become very aware of feeling like I add to the problem you allude to above and hate that. Perhaps I have just fallen on a string of nights where the gender balance is freakishly over balanced for some reason.

Still the qundry remains, with travel, entry fee drinks and food on the way home, this becomes a very expensive gamble.

Not a gamble about is you'll get "action, but just even if you'll get the social interaction chat that actually I love, without feeling your a bee competing with others..

Gambling becomes a harmful habit...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

^^

As the gambling awareness ads say

"When the fun stops, stop!"

If it's causing you concern maybe take a break from clubs for a while and try networking in other ways eg making connections socially or virtually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only attended kink nights, I don't have much desire to go to a swinging club to be honest. I think attending as a single man, if you're not meeting up with friends, would be somewhat empty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"^^

As the gambling awareness ads say

"When the fun stops, stop!"

If it's causing you concern maybe take a break from clubs for a while and try networking in other ways eg making connections socially or virtually"

Yes... That was where my train of thought has left me,

But then, if you're not on it you won't win it..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've only attended kink nights, I don't have much desire to go to a swinging club to be honest. I think attending as a single man, if you're not meeting up with friends, would be somewhat empty. "

This... Yes.. the empty feeling is strong, but especially so on the journey home... To be partnered up and still enjoy the club thing must be something else, but hey like everything in life, it'll be random chance that engineers the hook up..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"^^

As the gambling awareness ads say

"When the fun stops, stop!"

If it's causing you concern maybe take a break from clubs for a while and try networking in other ways eg making connections socially or virtually

Yes... That was where my train of thought has left me,

But then, if you're not on it you won't win it.."

What is it you're trying to win? Is there another way to achieve the prize? Is the prize worth it?

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