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"No I don't think they do. You can be different but you need some things in common to keep you bonded." That’s what I was thinking. My friend adores his partner but it’s causing problems because they don’t like to do anything together as a couple. | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though  "You need to find two people then.... As two negatives make a positive... | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though "You just need to find someone who hates everything apart from Ryan and Wine. That shouldn’t be too hard. | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though You need to find two people then.... As two negatives make a positive... "That didn’t work when I tried to get 10 days off with covid. | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. " Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace. | |||
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"I know it wouldn’t ever work for me, my last lap of term partner has all the same likes and dislikes as me, same view points, we invariably wanted to be doing the same things and it was amazing, and I can’t imagine being with someone else now who doesn’t have that same level of similarity anymore." I’m the opposite. I like to debate and I like minor disagreements. Me and my wife have plenty of shared interests but it would drive me mental if she always agreed with me. | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though You need to find two people then.... As two negatives make a positive... "Two too many people | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though
You just need to find someone who hates everything apart from Ryan and Wine. That shouldn’t be too hard."I will not give up. I mean, I probably will. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ?" I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace." I did that. Keeping the peace doesn't make both of you happy. If both parties can compromise it may work but if one is already "keeping the peace" I can't imagine the other party is the compromising sort. | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though
You just need to find someone who hates everything apart from Ryan and Wine. That shouldn’t be too hard.
I will not give up.
I mean, I probably will. "Just move to Wrexham. I’m sure they love Ryan there. Then you just need to find a pessimist who loves wine. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. " You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though "That makes you unique, that’s a good thing | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace." I guess if both are willing to compromise then yes I guess so. I think realistically it usually ends up with one person doing all the compromising and feeling bitter about it or in my case we ended up just living separate lives and became more like flatmates than partners. | |||
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"Everyone is opposite to me though
That makes you unique, that’s a good thing "You typed "fucking impossible" wrong | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace. I did that. Keeping the peace doesn't make both of you happy. If both parties can compromise it may work but if one is already "keeping the peace" I can't imagine the other party is the compromising sort." That’s pretty much what he said to me. Like I’ve said earlier though I’m only getting his side of the story. Her side might be completely different. | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace. I did that. Keeping the peace doesn't make both of you happy. If both parties can compromise it may work but if one is already "keeping the peace" I can't imagine the other party is the compromising sort. That’s pretty much what he said to me. Like I’ve said earlier though I’m only getting his side of the story. Her side might be completely different." Agreed. She might have absolutely no clue how he feels, that he's feeling like this. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together." That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace. I did that. Keeping the peace doesn't make both of you happy. If both parties can compromise it may work but if one is already "keeping the peace" I can't imagine the other party is the compromising sort. That’s pretty much what he said to me. Like I’ve said earlier though I’m only getting his side of the story. Her side might be completely different." She might be happy with how things are, she might also be thinking the same. He really needs to talk to her and work out where they're at together and what the future looks like. I know it's hard when there are no bad feelings, it feels wrong to rock the boat but we only have one life, there's no reason to spend it miserable. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him." How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.? | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.?" I probably should have got the answers to these questions before I posted the thread. She just says that she doesn’t want to go out. Maybe it’s because of lockdowns, I don’t know. He’s always been outgoing and the life and soul of the party so she knew this when they got together but maybe being in the house together for 2 years straight made her think he was happy doing that. | |||
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"From experience no. At first the differences are cute and make them unique. After time they're frustrating and life gets hard to negotiate. Do you think compromise is possible? He said he feels like he’s giving up everything he enjoys just to keep the peace. I did that. Keeping the peace doesn't make both of you happy. If both parties can compromise it may work but if one is already "keeping the peace" I can't imagine the other party is the compromising sort. That’s pretty much what he said to me. Like I’ve said earlier though I’m only getting his side of the story. Her side might be completely different. She might be happy with how things are, she might also be thinking the same. He really needs to talk to her and work out where they're at together and what the future looks like. I know it's hard when there are no bad feelings, it feels wrong to rock the boat but we only have one life, there's no reason to spend it miserable. " And that was the exact reason I had to leave. I was miserable. Over the years I'd given up more and more of the things I liked to do, to keep the peace. I didn't have a life. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.? I probably should have got the answers to these questions before I posted the thread. She just says that she doesn’t want to go out. Maybe it’s because of lockdowns, I don’t know. He’s always been outgoing and the life and soul of the party so she knew this when they got together but maybe being in the house together for 2 years straight made her think he was happy doing that." So many questions  to which we will never know the answer. Without knowing you or either of these people my completely uninformed opinion is that the relationship is doomed because of a chronic lack of communication and basic incompatibility. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.? I probably should have got the answers to these questions before I posted the thread. She just says that she doesn’t want to go out. Maybe it’s because of lockdowns, I don’t know. He’s always been outgoing and the life and soul of the party so she knew this when they got together but maybe being in the house together for 2 years straight made her think he was happy doing that. So many questions to which we will never know the answer. Without knowing you or either of these people my completely uninformed opinion is that the relationship is doomed because of a chronic lack of communication and basic incompatibility. "I do know he has communicated with her because he told me she’ll go out once if he brings this subject up but then goes straight back to Netflix or whatever until the next time they argue/discuss it. I agree completely that they’re incompatible though. | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.? I probably should have got the answers to these questions before I posted the thread. She just says that she doesn’t want to go out. Maybe it’s because of lockdowns, I don’t know. He’s always been outgoing and the life and soul of the party so she knew this when they got together but maybe being in the house together for 2 years straight made her think he was happy doing that. So many questions to which we will never know the answer. Without knowing you or either of these people my completely uninformed opinion is that the relationship is doomed because of a chronic lack of communication and basic incompatibility.
I do know he has communicated with her because he told me she’ll go out once if he brings this subject up but then goes straight back to Netflix or whatever until the next time they argue/discuss it.
I agree completely that they’re incompatible though."Oh dear the poor things. It'll be a bit awkward for you when the break up happens | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.? I probably should have got the answers to these questions before I posted the thread. She just says that she doesn’t want to go out. Maybe it’s because of lockdowns, I don’t know. He’s always been outgoing and the life and soul of the party so she knew this when they got together but maybe being in the house together for 2 years straight made her think he was happy doing that. So many questions to which we will never know the answer. Without knowing you or either of these people my completely uninformed opinion is that the relationship is doomed because of a chronic lack of communication and basic incompatibility.
I do know he has communicated with her because he told me she’ll go out once if he brings this subject up but then goes straight back to Netflix or whatever until the next time they argue/discuss it.
I agree completely that they’re incompatible though.
Oh dear the poor things. It'll be a bit awkward for you when the break up happens"On the plus side she doesn’t go out much so I won’t see her that often  | |||
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"They need to find new things they do like to do together. Mr N and I are different in many ways but we found stuff we'd never done as individuals and did them together. We also have no issue following our interests separately. Why on earth did they pretend to like the same stuff in the first place ? I think a lot of new relationships are filled with white lies. Pretending to like a band because the other does or things like that. My wife pretended to like football for about a year. She even went to games with me. You're right but three years! I saw a bit of a red flag when you said he feels like he's giving up everything to keep the peace. I also think a relationship is half way to being doomed when people share their problems outside instead of resolving them together. That’s a good point. In my opinion I think she is being unreasonable. They don’t have kids so going out together every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem. He’s not suggesting nightclubs or anything, just the local or out for a nice meal with friends. I am friends with her too so I’m very careful about what I’ve said to him. How is he suggesting these things and why doesn't she want to go out? Also why on earth did he pretend something for three years then think she's unreasonable for not understanding when he suddenly reveals his true self.? I probably should have got the answers to these questions before I posted the thread. She just says that she doesn’t want to go out. Maybe it’s because of lockdowns, I don’t know. He’s always been outgoing and the life and soul of the party so she knew this when they got together but maybe being in the house together for 2 years straight made her think he was happy doing that. So many questions to which we will never know the answer. Without knowing you or either of these people my completely uninformed opinion is that the relationship is doomed because of a chronic lack of communication and basic incompatibility.
I do know he has communicated with her because he told me she’ll go out once if he brings this subject up but then goes straight back to Netflix or whatever until the next time they argue/discuss it.
I agree completely that they’re incompatible though.
Oh dear the poor things. It'll be a bit awkward for you when the break up happens
On the plus side she doesn’t go out much so I won’t see her that often " | |||
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"I know it wouldn’t ever work for me, my last lap of term partner has all the same likes and dislikes as me, same view points, we invariably wanted to be doing the same things and it was amazing, and I can’t imagine being with someone else now who doesn’t have that same level of similarity anymore. I’m the opposite. I like to debate and I like minor disagreements. Me and my wife have plenty of shared interests but it would drive me mental if she always agreed with me." Yeah, that would annoy the hell out of me, I don’t want to be in disagreement with the person who is most important and central to my life, I would find that antagonism jarring and a bar to intimacy | |||
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