FabSwingers.com forum: How do you cope on your own?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard. "

How are you doing OP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend "

Yeah, being on your own when so many are together can feel isolating.

I'm in a similar place.

Happy to chat if you want to.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Realistically, I don't. I try, keep myself busy, go see other people, but these days I just don't cope well on my own. The kids help keep me busy and I love them dearly but nowt beats adult company

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk to my cat, or myself. Seriously though, if you do want company you could try joining local community groups or activity clubs. You'll find people in similar situations

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Try to talk to someone. Or sing.

I actually enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend "

During difficult times I find going for a long walk in nature helps. Hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No beer and no tv makes homer something something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chaotic year for me but tomorrow I will be celebrating with cake

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I'm lucky that I can phone my parents, or in an absolute pinch, my brother.

And I live in a village where just about everyone I pass says good morning, even to strangers... although they may be talking to the dog.

I suspect without those things, I'd be standing outside Sainsburys trying to make conversation with randoms...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sing. Go to the shop, talk to Alexa, call your mum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP.. coping on your own is hard work, I've been there.

Best thing to do is try and find some social aspect to keep you going, for me it was turning to sites like this, talking to people I didn't know who couldn't judge or whom I wouldn't need to feel awkward if I bumped into them.

Whatever it is, we're all here for you.

My inbox is always open to you if you need someone to talk to, I genuinely mean it.

Same goes to all, if you're struggling and need a friendly chat or even just someone to listen.. I'm here.

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By *r LovecraftMan
over a year ago

RCT/Swansea/Cwmbran

I struggle too especially when I don't have the children.

Is there a local wellbeing coordinator attached to your GP? The one I saw was very helpful and put me in touch with some local mental health groups for men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try to talk to someone. Or sing.

I actually enjoy it"

Inasingdress?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs

Online gameing works wonders

You can be on your own and also have people to talk to

If you want to be alone alone then just log off

If feeling need to talk just log back on

that way you always have friends around you no matter what

Yes it may not be serious talk or life talk

But just general Chating to someone can make it all that better

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By *olourmeplayfulWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I’m sorry to hear it’s been tough OP. I find if I’m peopled out and need space but don’t want to dwell in silence I have to plan things in. Long walks, movies, date myself for lunch or dinner. Fill your time things that bring you joy so you’re not thinking about being alone as such.

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I help out at charity shop lots people to talk to about all different things.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Love it. Happily spend a week on holiday alone. Perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talk to my cat, or myself. Seriously though, if you do want company you could try joining local community groups or activity clubs. You'll find people in similar situations

I agree with this! All of it!

Any sort of club will help, also brings that routine.

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By *ember101Man
over a year ago

London

Happy to chat. Man or woman. Fab-related or not. Just send over a message xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and get out of the house at least once a day

If not meeting anyone try and have a chat with the bar staff, some are more sociable than others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sing. Go to the shop, talk to Alexa, call your mum!"

Omg...I had the most bizarre chat with Alexa the other day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've spent very little of my life alone, and none without someone to chat to so am somewhat limited in experience. The short period I had my own flat was also a bad time in my life and I needed and wanted that space. That said, when it got too much I filled it with exercise. This uses time, makes you feel better and helps you sleep.

You've had plenty of offers for people to chat to already but I'll add another in case I can help. Feeling lonely/alone or just feeling low is not a nice place to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 years I’ve been alone.

Family turned their back on me when relationship failed with mrs, had to start again from scratch.

See the ex and kids every other week, we still get along, but no family and friends I can rely on.

Work stupid hours and come home to a quiet house, been on my own that long I struggle to socialise, hence why I’m jumping on the forums, my only form of chat.

Have tried messaging a few peeps on here and other forums, always state my intentions to chat, but never escalates.

I just do one day at a time, it’s all I can do.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

If I’m on my own all day with no adult contact, I have a drive out for a coffee. I sit in the car park and watch the world go by.

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By *cotty1376Man
over a year ago

PRESTON

I dont mind itasi talk to people each day I work, I listen to peoples problems and give advice were I can. If you need a chat pm me always a ear to listen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard. "

Just talk to yourself

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Try to talk to someone. Or sing.

I actually enjoy it

Inasingdress?"

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By *cotty1376Man
over a year ago

PRESTON

That goes for anyone . I've worked behind a bar for 25 years, done psychology at night school , I'd rather talk to you than see you struggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I verbally abuse people online which I'm teabagging them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my own space never get bored and if I do go out visit family and friends but if your longing to have that special someone I suppose you can feel lonely….. but it’s not what it’s all cracked up to be x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh OP it can be hard. I sometimes feel this when my kids are with their Dad for a weekend (especially when it’s a holiday type weekend & other people are doing stuff with family)

I mess around on here, get the wine out & have a disco for one and then try and make plans for other weekends so I have something to look forward to.

Hope you are ok. Xx

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I’ve spent most of my life alone. Either here or in far off places. I enjoy music, so there is sound when I want it. I live in the deep countryside, many animals, both wild and domesticated, they get talked at occasionally, I’m sure they don’t mind.

I have developed an inner narration, a comforting, soothing, contemplative voice that is always with me. I think most people have a voice inside of them, the key is to make that voice a positive one (although I will confess it’s sometimes a deviant one).

When I go for a ride I hear my voice, as I use it to control the horse, although these days this is done more with heels, calves and hands.

I gu so what I am saying is that you can adapt to the quietness of a solitary life, if you want too, but nature and the world, no matter how distant people might be, is seldom quiet. Be well

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By *ools1964Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

I'm married, but trust me I'd rather be on my own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be really tough. Be very kind and nurturing to yourself. Also happy to chat. Take care xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend

During difficult times I find going for a long walk in nature helps. Hugs x"

this

since tranquility, serenity, and beauty of nature has always helped me find equilibrium...

best wishes...

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

I don't get much time to get lonely but on such rare occasions, my grandkids wanting to come for a sleep over has been known to restore my sanity. The faces as they get offered the choice of hot dogs, cheese burgers, pizza or chicken nuggets followed by the variety of ice creams on offer are priceless. According to them though what they like best about staying at grandpa's is that they don't get shouted at. I have been known to call it physio therapy for stressed out executives.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

I spend almost no time in the physical presence of other people and have lived like this for the last 3 years, I live alone and my work is 95% solitary and I don’t socialise as such here. I guess I’m just used to it, I lose myself in a book most days and chat online and there’s someone I have a phone call with for an hour or so each day.

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

"I don't get much time to get lonely but on such rare occasions, my grandkids wanting to come for a sleep over has been known to restore my sanity. The faces as they get offered the choice of hot dogs, cheese burgers, pizza or chicken nuggets followed by the variety of ice creams on offer are priceless. According to them though what they like best about staying at grandpa's is that they don't get shouted at. I have been known to call it physio therapy for stressed out executives. "

Sounds very familiar, nice to give them back though at the end of a weekend

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Very well.

I'm normally surrounded by people in a very busy life, so to steal an hour away is precious to me midweek time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fine with my own company but always nice to have some company too .

I live and work alone and pretty much have done all my adult life . I live rural and no close neighbours and I love it

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By *ongandthickMan
over a year ago

exmouth

"Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend "
Very sorry to hear that Lisa.I'm sure there were many people on here who would have been happy to chat to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy my own company. Enjoy socialising, but equally happy in my own company

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I enjoy my own company. Enjoy socialising, but equally happy in my own company"

That's great when you get the opportunity to socialise. I think OP is struggling with loneliness not just living alone. there is a big difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk to myself.

some of the best arguments (sorry, debates) I’ve ever had, and I’m a real good listener too.

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By *IG G77Man
over a year ago

GATLEY

Be good to yourself the relationship you have with yourself is so important keep making the good stuff happen and things you enjoy doing xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes helplines are a good way of talking to someone if you feel you need to... alternatively voulntereing is also good,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be good to yourself the relationship you have with yourself is so important keep making the good stuff happen and things you enjoy doing xxx"

I have a friend who gave me some advice to soend some time with myself. I didn’t quite know what he meant at first but, after talking to him, I got it. It took me a while to adjust to being or even feeling alone after being in a relationship for so long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard. "

I’m “alone”, apart from the fact that I have children (I’m sole carer).i don’t personally consider “being single” as being alone. Alone, but not lonely, perhaps?

But if I think about it, I’m not really alone - or lonely - anyway, as I have friends I can contact and catch up with (I try to plan/arrange regular-ish phone check-ins and catch ups with close friends during quiet times) and family that I can go and see, or just talk to.

I also catch up with fab-friends from time to time, which feeds both emotional, intellectual and physical wants.

I’ve learned to enjoy spending some time with myself (although oh it’s rare!) and try not to rely on others to find happiness. On those occasions I am going to be alone, I try to find activities to complete - walks; reading; project planning; self development stuff; catch up on a boxset - or just enjoy stillness/reflection time and do some planning for the future, in terms career; kids; finances.

What does “being alone” actually mean to you, OP?

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By *ongandthickMan
over a year ago

exmouth

"I enjoy my own company. Enjoy socialising, but equally happy in my own company

That's great when you get the opportunity to socialise. I think OP is struggling with loneliness not just living alone. there is a big difference."
That is so true,i think most people enjoy being alone sometimes but being alone all the time is probably a hard cross to bear.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Have radio or music playing. Works for me.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

I'm a bit of a loner, being by myself isn't too much of in issue.

Don't get me wrong, lockdown one was absolutely hideous for me but that was other things in combination too.

I can go a couple of days without seeing anyone, I don't have a massive group of friends and my family aren't that local. I don't have a normal day job either so at times I don't even have colleagues to chat with.

The radio is always on, I chat to myself (probably too much), I keep myself busy. Life might not always be like this for me but until it changes I'm happy enough (mostly).

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I cope quite well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You want your space but not hearing your own voice for 3 days is hard. "

I just thought something I heard somewhere and it made me think about this question, OP.

It goes like this:

Never go shopping when you’re hungry. You’ll always grab what you want rather than what you need.

Similarly, never go into a relationship when you feel lonely - you might grab the wrong thing. When we are desperate, we grab anything we want, not what we need.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Second nature to me.

As a standard, white presenting male, I am used to being the bottom of the pile in intersectional Britain despite the fact I am not that.

I struggle massively and not a single fucking outlet will help me due to my Palestinian heritege being considered Anti-semitic. So much for equality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe get a pet or get a games console

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not good, it’s been a difficult weekend "

put on your favourite cd and sing your heart out... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.

No you dont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.

No you dont.

I do, seriously theres only so many times you can sing 'james blunt back to bedlam'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.

No you dont.

I do, seriously theres only so many times you can sing 'james blunt back to bedlam'

Shurrup your amazing at it though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sing... i get sick of my own voice sometimes.

No you dont.

I do, seriously theres only so many times you can sing 'james blunt back to bedlam'

Shurrup your amazing at it though

Shut up

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By *otshot14Woman
over a year ago

nuneaton

Know how u feel.i have found joining kickboxing and gym has help with the loneliness.

I try to do something other than working all the time.

Just got over cov19,and stuck indoors for me didn't help.think I was on here alot chatting,watching TV,reading,dancing,music.just to past the time.

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