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"Ermmmmm yes......spooning leading to forking then a brew "When do you fit in a poo?  | |||
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"Ermmmmm yes......spooning leading to forking then a brew "That's more like it, but I'll skip the brew! | |||
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"Ermmmmm yes......spooning leading to forking then a brew
When do you fit in a poo? "I have to say im not a regular visitor to the likkle girls room so that often waits till later on in the day..( canny believe im.discussing my toilet habits onthe forums)  | |||
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"Ermmmmm yes......spooning leading to forking then a brew "This....minus the brew and throw in another fork  | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day "You're a class act!  | |||
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"oral sex and sex after .... ok fry up too .. so yes better way to start the day. "Mmmm do you do B and B  | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day
You're a class act! "I know... thank god for the Swiss finishing school or there's no telling how I would have turned out! | |||
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 no ..... | |||
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"Sometimes I like a medium coffee and a medium poo. I'm not getting at the OP but I can't believe he thinks his _iew is the right one. Surely it would be better to live and let live so I could have a medium poo with the beverage of my choice hot or cold while others have big poos with nice tea? I feel this thread is oppressing my lifestyle choices and my right to have a medium poo just because others have big poos. Can a moderator please close this thread." I think you will find it was an open question, rather than a statement or indeed a rhetorical question. I would not dare impose my sizeable poo or beverage of choice on you. It is a free country and your right to drink what you prefer is up to you. With regards size of poo, I would suggest you have a roughage shortage that is causing a defication deficit. | |||
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"at lunchtime no ....."You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime. Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x | |||
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"Sometimes I like a medium coffee and a medium poo. I'm not getting at the OP but I can't believe he thinks his _iew is the right one. Surely it would be better to live and let live so I could have a medium poo with the beverage of my choice hot or cold while others have big poos with nice tea? I feel this thread is oppressing my lifestyle choices and my right to have a medium poo just because others have big poos. Can a moderator please close this thread. I think you will find it was an open question, rather than a statement or indeed a rhetorical question. I would not dare impose my sizeable poo or beverage of choice on you. It is a free country and your right to drink what you prefer is up to you. With regards size of poo, I would suggest you have a roughage shortage that is causing a defication deficit. " | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x"any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know...... | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......"Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way?  | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......"  | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way? "lmao | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way? "no I am not a big anal fan...... but I would roger Funky till he screams like Violet Elizabeth. | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way?
no I am not a big anal fan...... but I would roger Funky till he screams like Violet Elizabeth."Cuppa tea afterwards? | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way?
no I am not a big anal fan...... but I would roger Funky till he screams like Violet Elizabeth.
Cuppa tea afterwards? "indeed, thanks | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way? "And what on earth have wigs to do with either Funky's bum, View's rogering it till he squeals, poos of any size and beverages hot or cold??? I now have a mental picture of View wearing Obi's afro wig whilst pumping away 19 to the dozen...I fear I may have to lie down for a while... | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way?
no I am not a big anal fan...... but I would roger Funky till he screams like Violet Elizabeth."Hey..now you're talking, can I watch? | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day "Ben, for clarification - Is this simultaneously? | |||
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"at lunchtime no .....
You're perfectly within your rights to not poo and not drink tea whenever you want View, that includes lunchtime.
Don't allow threads like this to make you feel bad about your life choices. x
any reference to anal activity and you Funky..... gets me going and you well know......
Clarification please.... when you say he gets you going, are you meaning in a Syrup of Figs kind of way?
no I am not a big anal fan...... but I would roger Funky till he screams like Violet Elizabeth.
Hey..now you're talking, can I watch? "aye, bring Goliath to open him up | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day "I take it we are not in "Cleveland Steamer" territory? | |||
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"I've often wondered if women get the same great feeling of relief that you get when you force out a massive dump?" This one does | |||
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"but do you get the same feeling after child birth?" You'll have to ask someone who's popped a sprog out, I haven't | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day
Ben, for clarification - Is this simultaneously?"Good Gawd, no. Holding a scalding beverage and having a stool evacuation breaks all sorts of Health and Safety as well as Food Safety rules. Apart from anything, I have nothing to rest the mug on | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head "In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach | |||
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"Stop making me laugh, it makes it come out all crinkly!" That's Mr. Whippy | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head
In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach"Surely you mean Timmy (the turd) no mates | |||
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"Jay says i have an obsession about poo's no not scat. But when i do a massive big one that doesnt break up, i have to inform him about it lol" I knew someone that used to leave ones that stood erect in the bowl like the statue of bloody liberty with their head above water. Would be there for a week afterwards lol | |||
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"Jay says i have an obsession about poo's no not scat. But when i do a massive big one that doesnt break up, i have to inform him about it lol I knew someone that used to leave ones that stood erect in the bowl like the statue of bloody liberty with their head above water. Would be there for a week afterwards lol" Ha ha , im not that bad, but its only cause i cant work my camera on the phone that i havent taken photos to show everyone. I could talk about poo's for hours lol | |||
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"Jay says i have an obsession about poo's no not scat. But when i do a massive big one that doesnt break up, i have to inform him about it lol I knew someone that used to leave ones that stood erect in the bowl like the statue of bloody liberty with their head above water. Would be there for a week afterwards lol Ha ha , im not that bad, but its only cause i cant work my camera on the phone that i havent taken photos to show everyone. I could talk about poo's for hours lol" That's a little bit disturbing but anyway, what's your _iew on pieces of rogue sweetcorn? Where the hell do they come from? | |||
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"Jay says i have an obsession about poo's no not scat. But when i do a massive big one that doesnt break up, i have to inform him about it lol I knew someone that used to leave ones that stood erect in the bowl like the statue of bloody liberty with their head above water. Would be there for a week afterwards lol Ha ha , im not that bad, but its only cause i cant work my camera on the phone that i havent taken photos to show everyone. I could talk about poo's for hours lol That's a little bit disturbing but anyway, what's your _iew on pieces of rogue sweetcorn? Where the hell do they come from?" Well thats a bit of a baffler, what is an even big baffler is how the size some of my poo's are can get out. Ive said this on the forums before. A lady my mum knows has a 14 year old son and he phoned her at work. He had a fork stuck up his bum. He had to go and get it pulled out. He had constipation and had tried to "dig" it out with a fork lol | |||
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"Jay says i have an obsession about poo's no not scat. But when i do a massive big one that doesnt break up, i have to inform him about it lol I knew someone that used to leave ones that stood erect in the bowl like the statue of bloody liberty with their head above water. Would be there for a week afterwards lol Ha ha , im not that bad, but its only cause i cant work my camera on the phone that i havent taken photos to show everyone. I could talk about poo's for hours lol That's a little bit disturbing but anyway, what's your _iew on pieces of rogue sweetcorn? Where the hell do they come from? Well thats a bit of a baffler, what is an even big baffler is how the size some of my poo's are can get out. Ive said this on the forums before. A lady my mum knows has a 14 year old son and he phoned her at work. He had a fork stuck up his bum. He had to go and get it pulled out. He had constipation and had tried to "dig" it out with a fork lol" I think it is because the really massive ones have a gnarled end - similar to the top of a home made walking stick. The lad slipped up there. I thought it was common knowledge to use a shoe horn ! They don't teach them anything in school these days | |||
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"I dont have a shoe horn in my box of tricks, maybe i should just invest in one. What i would like to know, when someone has to take a sample to the doctor, how would they fit their poo in one of those specimen bottles. Im going to get so many meets now lol" There is a special knack to that | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head
In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach
Surely you mean Timmy (the turd) no mates "Yes, Timmy, distant cousin of 'The Splashback'. That fucker is almost a self wiper. Talking of self wipers, they have to be the best hey? No evidence to clean up, suprising, but a nice suprise all the same. It does ad to the dissapointment of every wipe, your excited, its going through your mind 'Has it cleaned itself', and 9/10 'No, sadly not' but on that rare occasion its as clean as a whistle, bingo, its like a Christmas Shit. | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head
In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach
Surely you mean Timmy (the turd) no mates
Yes, Timmy, distant cousin of 'The Splashback'. That fucker is almost a self wiper.
Talking of self wipers, they have to be the best hey? No evidence to clean up, suprising, but a nice suprise all the same. It does ad to the dissapointment of every wipe, your excited, its going through your mind 'Has it cleaned itself', and 9/10 'No, sadly not' but on that rare occasion its as clean as a whistle, bingo, its like a Christmas Shit."I had a list of the different types somewhere but for the life of me can't remember where it came from | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head
In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach
Surely you mean Timmy (the turd) no mates
Yes, Timmy, distant cousin of 'The Splashback'. That fucker is almost a self wiper.
Talking of self wipers, they have to be the best hey? No evidence to clean up, suprising, but a nice suprise all the same. It does ad to the dissapointment of every wipe, your excited, its going through your mind 'Has it cleaned itself', and 9/10 'No, sadly not' but on that rare occasion its as clean as a whistle, bingo, its like a Christmas Shit.
I had a list of the different types somewhere but for the life of me can't remember where it came from"Bristol stool chart numbers 1 through 7 | |||
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"I dont have a shoe horn in my box of tricks, maybe i should just invest in one. What i would like to know, when someone has to take a sample to the doctor, how would they fit their poo in one of those specimen bottles. Im going to get so many meets now lol" Corkscrews are more effective than shoe horns | |||
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" I had a list of the different types somewhere but for the life of me can't remember where it came from" Ah here we go. This is obviously what Diamonds was referring to: King Kong or Commode Choker Shit -- This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house. | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head
In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach
Surely you mean Timmy (the turd) no mates
Yes, Timmy, distant cousin of 'The Splashback'. That fucker is almost a self wiper.
Talking of self wipers, they have to be the best hey? No evidence to clean up, suprising, but a nice suprise all the same. It does ad to the dissapointment of every wipe, your excited, its going through your mind 'Has it cleaned itself', and 9/10 'No, sadly not' but on that rare occasion its as clean as a whistle, bingo, its like a Christmas Shit.
I had a list of the different types somewhere but for the life of me can't remember where it came from
Bristol stool chart numbers 1 through 7 "3 and 4 are the perfect poo | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day
Ben, for clarification - Is this simultaneously?
Good Gawd, no. Holding a scalding beverage and having a stool evacuation breaks all sorts of Health and Safety as well as Food Safety rules. Apart from anything, I have nothing to rest the mug on "Well then Ben, IMHO there is something better - simultaneous action. I call it the Shuppa.... | |||
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"Its the ghost poos that leave me scratching my head
In my case its Billy no mates, the poor bastard is left on his own while all his mates have gone to the beach
Surely you mean Timmy (the turd) no mates
Yes, Timmy, distant cousin of 'The Splashback'. That fucker is almost a self wiper.
Talking of self wipers, they have to be the best hey? No evidence to clean up, suprising, but a nice suprise all the same. It does ad to the dissapointment of every wipe, your excited, its going through your mind 'Has it cleaned itself', and 9/10 'No, sadly not' but on that rare occasion its as clean as a whistle, bingo, its like a Christmas Shit.
I had a list of the different types somewhere but for the life of me can't remember where it came from
Bristol stool chart numbers 1 through 7 " Ive seen that list | |||
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"i swear i've just given birth to a baby seal "was it clapping? | |||
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"i swear i've just given birth to a baby seal
was it clapping? "it didn't have room to move | |||
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"Is there any better way to start the day
You're a class act!
I know... thank god for the Swiss Army Knife or there's no telling how I would have got it out! " | |||
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"I'm so glad im a woman and i don't poo "Naughty what do you do then?? | |||
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"I'm so glad im a woman and i don't poo
Naughty what do you do then?? "my food just stores up inside me forever, thats why im a fat fooker lol | |||
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"i swear i've just given birth to a baby seal
was it clapping?
it didn't have room to move"did it balance your balls on its nose? | |||
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"i swear i've just given birth to a baby seal
was it clapping?
it didn't have room to move
did it balance your balls on its nose? " behave lol | |||
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"Deffo a poo but you do hope its a clean breaking depthcharge....not a sticky cling on....not that time of morning..no no no...." i'll remember that next time im rimming someone | |||
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"Deffo a poo but you do hope its a clean breaking depthcharge....not a sticky cling on....not that time of morning..no no no.... i'll remember that next time im rimming someone "skid marks on them bum cheeks.....steer well clear...b bog roll up there n all sorts | |||
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"Jay says i have an obsession about poo's no not scat. But when i do a massive big one that doesnt break up, i have to inform him about it lol I knew someone that used to leave ones that stood erect in the bowl like the statue of bloody liberty with their head above water. Would be there for a week afterwards lol Ha ha , im not that bad, but its only cause i cant work my camera on the phone that i havent taken photos to show everyone. I could talk about poo's for hours lol That's a little bit disturbing but anyway, what's your _iew on pieces of rogue sweetcorn? Where the hell do they come from? Well thats a bit of a baffler, what is an even big baffler is how the size some of my poo's are can get out. Ive said this on the forums before. A lady my mum knows has a 14 year old son and he phoned her at work. He had a fork stuck up his bum. He had to go and get it pulled out. He had constipation and had tried to "dig" it out with a fork lol" Whatever happened to working it out with a pencil? | |||
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"Wet Cheeks Shit -- This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass all wet." Nooo, That's what's commonly known as a Barnes Wallace | |||
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"i swear i've just given birth to a baby seal
was it clapping?
it didn't have room to move
did it balance your balls on its nose? "it wasn't far off a real 3 flusher | |||
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