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Silly Timber

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Couldn't face spending another night in alone so in a moment of madness I logged onto the bee app and found a pretty hot someone to smush things around with.

"But Timber, that sounds great, why are you complaining?"

Because I've also just remembered that I've spent all day eating shit to numb my feelings, so I'm feeling pretty fucking icky. Also the Amazon rainforest literally has nothing on my legs and bush right now, and it's gonna take a good hour at least to turn my face into something anyone would want near theirs.

Someone give me the energy to get out of bed and into the shower please. Literally praying I just get ghosted at this point

NB before anyone calls me a timewaster I AM going to make the effort (if I don't get ghosted). I just wish I could snap my fingers and turn into a sex bomb instead of it taking 3 hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm spending the night perving over Ryan Reynolds. Drinking wine. Alone. Do you really want that to be you??

Get in the dam bathroom and get sorted!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs know that feeling all to well

But I bet right at this moment you still look stunningly beautiful x

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Crack on! Get some energising music on, a pint of water down you and start fabulising yourself!! Think of all the delicious smushing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time I was meeting someone I inadvertently used out of date hair removal cream, as I was faffing about last minute... Funnily enough instead of being less effective, the end outcome was a red burning beacon of a fanny. Don't be a me OP! Get ready with plenty of time to spare

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

OK I am loving this energy people, BUT there has been a development - turns out neither of us can accom and he has just offered up his car

I have given him the appropriate response of "yikes, nope" - if he doesn't at LEAST suggest a hotel I am giving up and ordering pizza and wine

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK I am loving this energy people, BUT there has been a development - turns out neither of us can accom and he has just offered up his car

I have given him the appropriate response of "yikes, nope" - if he doesn't at LEAST suggest a hotel I am giving up and ordering pizza and wine "

If his first suggestion wasn’t a hotel then yip pizza movie and wine

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

To be fair what is all the effort even for?! 30 mins spent trying to perfect my eyeliner wings only for a guy to rub his balls all over my face and make me look like It's fuckable-in-the-right-light sister?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally get this !!

It’s not time wasting either - it’s changing your mind

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"OK I am loving this energy people, BUT there has been a development - turns out neither of us can accom and he has just offered up his car

I have given him the appropriate response of "yikes, nope" - if he doesn't at LEAST suggest a hotel I am giving up and ordering pizza and wine "

Car. Classy

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"To be fair what is all the effort even for?! 30 mins spent trying to perfect my eyeliner wings only for a guy to rub his balls all over my face and make me look like It's fuckable-in-the-right-light sister? "

Timber, Timber, Timber, what are you complaining about? The post balls, face fucky smeary eyed make up look is hot, you've got to rock it. It's 30 minutes to help achieve that perfect look after it's smeared to fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This could’ve been us

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Why make an effort for a bunk up like this? A little maybe, but you know for a fact this guy is gonna half wipe his walls with a wipe and run the tip of his penis under the sink.

Get yours and go.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"To be fair what is all the effort even for?! 30 mins spent trying to perfect my eyeliner wings only for a guy to rub his balls all over my face and make me look like It's fuckable-in-the-right-light sister?

Timber, Timber, Timber, what are you complaining about? The post balls, face fucky smeary eyed make up look is hot, you've got to rock it. It's 30 minutes to help achieve that perfect look after it's smeared to fuck."

Absolutely this, it takes me hours to achieve this look because my balls won't reach my face.

Yet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be fair what is all the effort even for?! 30 mins spent trying to perfect my eyeliner wings only for a guy to rub his balls all over my face and make me look like It's fuckable-in-the-right-light sister?

Timber, Timber, Timber, what are you complaining about? The post balls, face fucky smeary eyed make up look is hot, you've got to rock it. It's 30 minutes to help achieve that perfect look after it's smeared to fuck."

Tbf this does sound like one of those haute couture glossy editiorials

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This could’ve been us "

Don't act like this wasn't your fault

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Three hours to get ready

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Three hours to get ready "

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like a lost Jane Austen novella.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Hopefully one day you'll grow out of such nonsense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, what's the bee app?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hopefully one day your bush will grow out of such nonsense "

Yes I agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OK, what's the bee app?."

Not sure if I'm allowed to say but the people on it are usually pretty humble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This could’ve been us

Don't act like this wasn't your fault "

50/50 blame I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK, what's the bee app?.

Not sure if I'm allowed to say but the people on it are usually pretty humble "

The one where women actually message first

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"OK, what's the bee app?.

Not sure if I'm allowed to say but the people on it are usually pretty humble

The one where women actually message first "

...with the same type of message they would get frustrated if a guy would to use :P ...."hey" ..."how's u?" ...."U OK?" ..."hi"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OK, what's the bee app?.

Not sure if I'm allowed to say but the people on it are usually pretty humble

The one where women actually message first

...with the same type of message they would get frustrated if a guy would to use :P ...."hey" ..."how's u?" ...."U OK?" ..."hi" "

I'm, er, starting to notice a common theme in your posts

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

I was going to suggest telling him you like it kinky, blindfold him at the door and getting him to do you doggy doggy.

But.....y'know....a car. FFS.

You're worth more than 2 litres of 4 star and a ride in a clapped out Cortina.

Winston

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"To be fair what is all the effort even for?! 30 mins spent trying to perfect my eyeliner wings only for a guy to rub his balls all over my face and make me look like It's fuckable-in-the-right-light sister?

Timber, Timber, Timber, what are you complaining about? The post balls, face fucky smeary eyed make up look is hot, you've got to rock it. It's 30 minutes to help achieve that perfect look after it's smeared to fuck.

Absolutely this, it takes me hours to achieve this look because my balls won't reach my face.

Yet.

"

Ahhhh I'm so damn happy to have CD comments back

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Nowt wrong with rocking the bush.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was going to suggest telling him you like it kinky, blindfold him at the door and getting him to do you doggy doggy.

But.....y'know....a car. FFS.

You're worth more than 2 litres of 4 star and a ride in a clapped out Cortina.

Winston

"

Yeah... The real kicker of this story is way worse tbh. The car thing is starting to look like the romance of the century at the moment.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I just want to know if his balls made contact with the eyeliner!

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"I just want to know if his balls made contact with the eyeliner!

"

Recent updates suggest not.

There was no coupling...... *sad times

Winston

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"I was going to suggest telling him you like it kinky, blindfold him at the door and getting him to do you doggy doggy.

But.....y'know....a car. FFS.

You're worth more than 2 litres of 4 star and a ride in a clapped out Cortina.

Winston

"

I doubt there's many worth more than 2 ltr of 4 star at current prices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/05/22 23:33:57]

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"To be fair what is all the effort even for?! 30 mins spent trying to perfect my eyeliner wings only for a guy to rub his balls all over my face and make me look like It's fuckable-in-the-right-light sister?

Timber, Timber, Timber, what are you complaining about? The post balls, face fucky smeary eyed make up look is hot, you've got to rock it. It's 30 minutes to help achieve that perfect look after it's smeared to fuck."

Meli's just given me a boner......

Dirty talking hussy.

Winston

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