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Worst chat up lines…

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By *onkeynut OP   Woman
over a year ago

somewhere

On here or in the ‘real’ world….

I just had a message telling me I must have been the cause of the Monkeypox outbreak so bad it made me

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I used to know a particularly vulgar chap who used to approach ladies in night clubs and say to them, ‘Hello pussy.’

Needless to say, his success rate with women was marginally smaller than the diameter of a gnats anus.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"On here or in the ‘real’ world….

I just had a message telling me I must have been the cause of the Monkeypox outbreak so bad it made me "

I wonder just how he thought that would go for him...

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By *awpleasureMan
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield


"I used to know a particularly vulgar chap who used to approach ladies in night clubs and say to them, ‘Hello pussy.’

Needless to say, his success rate with women was marginally smaller than the diameter of a gnats anus."

We all knew/know a lad like that. A friend from my teenage years used to walk up to girls in clubs and say

"Show me where you piss from"

Amazingly his success rate was lower than a snail's ankle.

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

Thats a nice nose ,you pick it yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey beautiful. Do u fancy playing a wee game of Windows?

You can be the window and I'll hang out you?

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

I once had a man come up to me in a night club and tell me he wanted to take me home and whip me with his cock! When I asked him to get it out so I could see if it was big enough to be used as a whip, he told me I was disgusting and I should be ashamed of myself for speaking to a man like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey darling here's 10p. Go and phone your mum and tell her you won't be home tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once had a man come up to me in a night club and tell me he wanted to take me home and whip me with his cock! When I asked him to get it out so I could see if it was big enough to be used as a whip, he told me I was disgusting and I should be ashamed of myself for speaking to a man like that "

What a gent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want to go halves on a bastard! Not mine I must add

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once had a man come up to me in a night club and tell me he wanted to take me home and whip me with his cock! When I asked him to get it out so I could see if it was big enough to be used as a whip, he told me I was disgusting and I should be ashamed of myself for speaking to a man like that "

Thank fuck Times have changed. 90s chat up lines were uber cheesy and cringy as it is. That is outright vulgar. Hands up would have probably laughed if I heard it back then. But the thought of anyone saying that to any of my nieces now would give me the fucking rage.

(P.s I don't have kids so nieces are next best thing)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate, do you want to be my SLUT? Let’s meet now.

It’s the “mate” and “let’s meet now” that make’s me feel Grrrr

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands


"I once had a man come up to me in a night club and tell me he wanted to take me home and whip me with his cock! When I asked him to get it out so I could see if it was big enough to be used as a whip, he told me I was disgusting and I should be ashamed of myself for speaking to a man like that

Thank fuck Times have changed. 90s chat up lines were uber cheesy and cringy as it is. That is outright vulgar. Hands up would have probably laughed if I heard it back then. But the thought of anyone saying that to any of my nieces now would give me the fucking rage.

(P.s I don't have kids so nieces are next best thing) "

I laughed when he said it, I laughed even harder when he had his little rant

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I many years ago mid seventies / early eighties. New someone a male. Used to ask females at that time in disco’s.

Are you married , engaged , boyfriend . If answer was no to all. Then say tonights your night then .

His success rate was quite good. If got answer no. He did though get into a lot of arguments from other males . Husbands etc.

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By *annaPlayABCCouple
over a year ago

Bacup

'Hey,do you have a mirror above your bed on the ceiling' ?

'No' ?? 'Strange,cause I can see myself in it'

'The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor'

'My d!ck’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate in Wetherspoons pre-pandemic.

So shall I shit on you or will you do it for me?

There was a sharp female exit.

Three of us stood at the bar in complete amazement. As far as I know, he never tried it again.

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By *HazelEyedVixenxWoman
over a year ago

This reminds me of Max & Paddy, to which she replies " I've got a mobile, dickhead" haha loved that show

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in love at first sight? Should I walk past again? Was one I know a few mates always tried. I can’t remember many ‘lines’ I never used them.

The only thing that ever worked for an icebreaker was with a girl looking at me all night. I told her ‘I’ve got some good news’

-what?

- ‘I’m interested.

It actual got me a snog. I still remember that kiss to this day, it was gorgeous.

Terrible I know, but you’re care free when your young, and I knew she’d find it funny.

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By *ommyknockazMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Get yer coat luv, you've pulled"

I don't recommend trying it, ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolute cringers...

"Did you get your knickers in the sale??? Come back to mine... they'll be 100% off"

"Now I'm no weatherman but I reckon you're gonna get a few inches later tonight..."

"Did you know the human body has 206 bones in it? Fancy making it 207 in yours???"

"My cock might only be 3 inches long but I can lick the crumbs out of a Pringle tube"

"Hey babe fancy coming back to my place and watching some porn on my 56 inch mirror???"

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