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Is non-monogamy a biological drive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just been listening to a dead interesting pod cast about the above subject ie... we are all biologically programmed to crave variety in sexual partners. Found it a very interesting subject given our new "hobby" love to know other people's thoughts!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been able to be monogamous xx

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Ehh. Humans may not be naturally monogamous but we also don't naturally drive round in cara or have smart phones. Whatever works for each individual.

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove


"Just been listening to a dead interesting pod cast about the above subject ie... we are all biologically programmed to crave variety in sexual partners. Found it a very interesting subject given our new "hobby" love to know other people's thoughts!? "

Which was the podcast tho?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm definitely not into monogamy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's evolutionary advantages to both monogamy and non-monogamy, which is probably why there's so such diversity and discord in human sexuality.

I'm wary of taking seriously any scientific basis for desires and kinks; it can quickly form the basis for e.g. gender roles or setting expectations of people, and anyway there are far too many variables at play.

That said, it's a goldmine for dirty talk and definitely features in what I whisper in her ear while fucking

M

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m very monagamous. A cocking a day keeps the pussy out of play.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Men are biologically programmed not to be faithful..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men are biologically programmed not to be faithful.. "

Not all. Same for women too xx

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

My guess is that men are designed to spread our seed far and wide because it doesn’t matter if we aren’t around for the kid. There’s a chance it might survive anyways to continue passing our genes. But it pays to stay around for some to ensure our genes are being passed on

With women they can do that, because they carry the child. So they probably want to find the best male to get pregnant from. Someone physically fit and mentally strong. Then look for a partner that can provide them the best access to resources. Which explains why woman’s desires change based on where they are in their cycle.

What was it you listened to? I’d love to give it a listen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men are biologically programmed not to be faithful.. "

Huh, an example of my wariness in the wild.

Many (most?) men are perfectly capable of being faithful, and feel no "biological urge" to be unfaithful. Thinking this is likely motivated reasoning, and normalising this thinking creates a burden on women ("men can't help it, so women must be responsible for not triggering their urges").

The reason someone is unfaithful is because they choose to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Men are biologically programmed not to be faithful..

Huh, an example of my wariness in the wild.

Many (most?) men are perfectly capable of being faithful, and feel no "biological urge" to be unfaithful. Thinking this is likely motivated reasoning, and normalising this thinking creates a burden on women ("men can't help it, so women must be responsible for not triggering their urges").

The reason someone is unfaithful is because they choose to be."

This!! your other comment is also interesting food for thought! I do however think that biological drives definitely play a part in our decision making process, it's obviously far more nuanced than binary thinking though, either way I find it a fascinating topic xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My guess is that men are designed to spread our seed far and wide because it doesn’t matter if we aren’t around for the kid. There’s a chance it might survive anyways to continue passing our genes. But it pays to stay around for some to ensure our genes are being passed on

With women they can do that, because they carry the child. So they probably want to find the best male to get pregnant from. Someone physically fit and mentally strong. Then look for a partner that can provide them the best access to resources. Which explains why woman’s desires change based on where they are in their cycle.

What was it you listened to? I’d love to give it a listen "

Was under the skin with Russell Brand a conversation with David Buss who is an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Texas xx

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By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

We apparently evolve from primates and monogamy among primates is rare.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If we're biologically wired to be non monogomous how do we account for its popularity? Are we also biologically wired to want to fit in with social norms?

I do wish that people could live in the relationships they wanted to without having to justify themselves but it won't happen any time soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no.

Humans have complex society and so a range of mating strategies have evolved.

Each has different pay offs.

Even many monogomous ppl are only monogomous at any one point in time. They still have multiple partners over time.

Marriage on the other hand feels less "natural".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno what it means so il smile and wave

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The established church has much to answer for. It's a mechanism to control people and make them stay in unhappy marriages. The more virile the man then the more he is driven to share his seed. Nature pure and simple...

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Talking about what humans are biologically programmed to do it as always a bit tiresome. It's more complicated than that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just for clarity, I am in no way endorsing either view point or putting folks in boxes. Just thought it was an interesting discussion topic is all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My guess is that men are designed to spread our seed far and wide because it doesn’t matter if we aren’t around for the kid. There’s a chance it might survive anyways to continue passing our genes. But it pays to stay around for some to ensure our genes are being passed on

With women they can do that, because they carry the child. So they probably want to find the best male to get pregnant from. Someone physically fit and mentally strong. Then look for a partner that can provide them the best access to resources. Which explains why woman’s desires change based on where they are in their cycle.

What was it you listened to? I’d love to give it a listen

Was under the skin with Russell Brand a conversation with David Buss who is an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Texas xx"
not Sidney university then

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"If we're biologically wired to be non monogomous how do we account for its popularity? Are we also biologically wired to want to fit in with social norms?

I do wish that people could live in the relationships they wanted to without having to justify themselves but it won't happen any time soon"

I would guess the church and religion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My guess is that men are designed to spread our seed far and wide because it doesn’t matter if we aren’t around for the kid. There’s a chance it might survive anyways to continue passing our genes. But it pays to stay around for some to ensure our genes are being passed on

With women they can do that, because they carry the child. So they probably want to find the best male to get pregnant from. Someone physically fit and mentally strong. Then look for a partner that can provide them the best access to resources. Which explains why woman’s desires change based on where they are in their cycle.

What was it you listened to? I’d love to give it a listen

Was under the skin with Russell Brand a conversation with David Buss who is an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Texas xxnot Sidney university then "

touché

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If we're biologically wired to be non monogomous how do we account for its popularity? Are we also biologically wired to want to fit in with social norms?

I do wish that people could live in the relationships they wanted to without having to justify themselves but it won't happen any time soon

I would guess the church and religion. "

Both man made things which is what makes me think the biological drive to be non monogomous (if there is one) is not as strong as the drive to follow and abide by the norms of the group.

I am no expert but it often seems to me that people use biology as a reason for doing things that other people might find unacceptable as if we are biologically incapable of resisting certain urges.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If we're biologically wired to be non monogomous how do we account for its popularity? Are we also biologically wired to want to fit in with social norms?

I do wish that people could live in the relationships they wanted to without having to justify themselves but it won't happen any time soon

I would guess the church and religion. "
I agree another set of 'norms'set to divide us as people which fits in well with compassion of people, different to ourselves

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I think serial monogamy suits a lot of people. I think a mate until death is becoming harder and harder to maintain.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think serial monogamy suits a lot of people. I think a mate until death is becoming harder and harder to maintain."

I agree. I think it's good that it's more acceptable to end a monogomous relationship that isn't working too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think serial monogamy suits a lot of people. I think a mate until death is becoming harder and harder to maintain.

I agree. I think it's good that it's more acceptable to end a monogamous relationship that isn't working too"
yes,but do people stay in a relationship because it's harder to find another one or because it's see as the right thing to do by others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think serial monogamy suits a lot of people. I think a mate until death is becoming harder and harder to maintain.

I agree. I think it's good that it's more acceptable to end a monogamous relationship that isn't working too yes,but do people stay in a relationship because it's harder to find another one or because it's see as the right thing to do by others "
or set 'norm' rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think serial monogamy suits a lot of people. I think a mate until death is becoming harder and harder to maintain.

I agree. I think it's good that it's more acceptable to end a monogamous relationship that isn't working tooyes,but do people stay in a relationship because it's harder to find another one or because it's see as the right thing to do by others "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a very interesting subject.

The core animal inside us is programmed in the sub conscious to find various things attractive some as basic as child bearing hips and big strong muscular physique etc. This element sits very deep in our psyche. Sitting over the top of that is a Lifetime of learned behaviour and assumed attractions some that can be entrenched and others fleeting fancies.

Regarding the choice to remain consistently tied emotionally and sexually to a single individual? Hugely complex equation that is based in mental health condition, how effective the pairing actually was, how the local environment has matured and what external influences have come and gone. It is almost an infinite list of variables.

Regarding some of the advocates and strong supporters of absolute singular monogamy - religion being one. Consider if you will historically the success or in fact failure of races and creeds that consistently practiced totally open relationships as a norm. Prosperous societies have to date been those that moderated their behaviour and acted in a controlled way. It's rare that single individuals create, maintain and pass forward significant wealth's and political influence.

Biologically we may be "programmed" with urges to shag, fight, eat etc but we've evolved to temper those urges and to various degrees are successful but not always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a very interesting subject.

The core animal inside us is programmed in the sub conscious to find various things attractive some as basic as child bearing hips and big strong muscular physique etc. This element sits very deep in our psyche. Sitting over the top of that is a Lifetime of learned behaviour and assumed attractions some that can be entrenched and others fleeting fancies.

Regarding the choice to remain consistently tied emotionally and sexually to a single individual? Hugely complex equation that is based in mental health condition, how effective the pairing actually was, how the local environment has matured and what external influences have come and gone. It is almost an infinite list of variables.

Regarding some of the advocates and strong supporters of absolute singular monogamy - religion being one. Consider if you will historically the success or in fact failure of races and creeds that consistently practiced totally open relationships as a norm. Prosperous societies have to date been those that moderated their behaviour and acted in a controlled way. It's rare that single individuals create, maintain and pass forward significant wealth's and political influence.

Biologically we may be "programmed" with urges to shag, fight, eat etc but we've evolved to temper those urges and to various degrees are successful but not always."
are we 'controlled' because we have evolved or because of suppression

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a very interesting subject.

The core animal inside us is programmed in the sub conscious to find various things attractive some as basic as child bearing hips and big strong muscular physique etc. This element sits very deep in our psyche. Sitting over the top of that is a Lifetime of learned behaviour and assumed attractions some that can be entrenched and others fleeting fancies.

Regarding the choice to remain consistently tied emotionally and sexually to a single individual? Hugely complex equation that is based in mental health condition, how effective the pairing actually was, how the local environment has matured and what external influences have come and gone. It is almost an infinite list of variables.

Regarding some of the advocates and strong supporters of absolute singular monogamy - religion being one. Consider if you will historically the success or in fact failure of races and creeds that consistently practiced totally open relationships as a norm. Prosperous societies have to date been those that moderated their behaviour and acted in a controlled way. It's rare that single individuals create, maintain and pass forward significant wealth's and political influence.

Biologically we may be "programmed" with urges to shag, fight, eat etc but we've evolved to temper those urges and to various degrees are successful but not always.are we 'controlled' because we have evolved or because of suppression "
can it be both ?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Just been listening to a dead interesting pod cast about the above subject ie... we are all biologically programmed to crave variety in sexual partners. Found it a very interesting subject given our new "hobby" love to know other people's thoughts!? "

I think we can get into situations where we crave all kinds of things , but can choose to do other things if we believe it’s better, so I don’t think biological programming is relevant.

For example were biologically programmed to consume large amounts of fat and sugar when we have access to it because in the past it was scarce and no way to store it other than in our bodies, but most people now choose not to.

I choose to be poly because it works for me to not push all my needs on one person , I have too many ! and not be overloaded having to meet all of a other persons needs, it’s not because I crave variety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a very interesting subject.

The core animal inside us is programmed in the sub conscious to find various things attractive some as basic as child bearing hips and big strong muscular physique etc. This element sits very deep in our psyche. Sitting over the top of that is a Lifetime of learned behaviour and assumed attractions some that can be entrenched and others fleeting fancies.

Regarding the choice to remain consistently tied emotionally and sexually to a single individual? Hugely complex equation that is based in mental health condition, how effective the pairing actually was, how the local environment has matured and what external influences have come and gone. It is almost an infinite list of variables.

Regarding some of the advocates and strong supporters of absolute singular monogamy - religion being one. Consider if you will historically the success or in fact failure of races and creeds that consistently practiced totally open relationships as a norm. Prosperous societies have to date been those that moderated their behaviour and acted in a controlled way. It's rare that single individuals create, maintain and pass forward significant wealth's and political influence.

Biologically we may be "programmed" with urges to shag, fight, eat etc but we've evolved to temper those urges and to various degrees are successful but not always.are we 'controlled' because we have evolved or because of suppression can it be both ? "

Unfortunately the human race has demonstrated that we very much need to evolve to survive and the main tool in the box seems to be control - without it anarchy reigns and you don't have to look very far to see the effects of that.

But control can be fun - just look at the sub/Dom thing - they look like they are having fun

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think serial monogamy suits a lot of people. I think a mate until death is becoming harder and harder to maintain.

I agree. I think it's good that it's more acceptable to end a monogamous relationship that isn't working tooyes,but do people stay in a relationship because it's harder to find another one or because it's see as the right thing to do by others "

I honestly don't know. I suppose it's down to the individual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people."

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?"

Well it seems acceptable when I approach men or women but not the other way around. Hardly seems fair to me.

If you have an issue with our choices that’s fine but no need to be so judgmental

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Child bearing hips as an attraction...it that a myth..

Tom prefers slim and not big hips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a very interesting subject.

The core animal inside us is programmed in the sub conscious to find various things attractive some as basic as child bearing hips and big strong muscular physique etc. This element sits very deep in our psyche. Sitting over the top of that is a Lifetime of learned behaviour and assumed attractions some that can be entrenched and others fleeting fancies.

Regarding the choice to remain consistently tied emotionally and sexually to a single individual? Hugely complex equation that is based in mental health condition, how effective the pairing actually was, how the local environment has matured and what external influences have come and gone. It is almost an infinite list of variables.

Regarding some of the advocates and strong supporters of absolute singular monogamy - religion being one. Consider if you will historically the success or in fact failure of races and creeds that consistently practiced totally open relationships as a norm. Prosperous societies have to date been those that moderated their behaviour and acted in a controlled way. It's rare that single individuals create, maintain and pass forward significant wealth's and political influence.

Biologically we may be "programmed" with urges to shag, fight, eat etc but we've evolved to temper those urges and to various degrees are successful but not always.are we 'controlled' because we have evolved or because of suppression can it be both ?

Unfortunately the human race has demonstrated that we very much need to evolve to survive and the main tool in the box seems to be control - without it anarchy reigns and you don't have to look very far to see the effects of that.

But control can be fun - just look at the sub/Dom thing - they look like they are having fun "
yes i that's right but a different kind of control.is it not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/05/22 19:32:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Child bearing hips as an attraction...it that a myth..

Tom prefers slim and not big hips "
what are big hips though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In other words alpha fux beta bux or alpha lays beta pays.


"My guess is that men are designed to spread our seed far and wide because it doesn’t matter if we aren’t around for the kid. There’s a chance it might survive anyways to continue passing our genes. But it pays to stay around for some to ensure our genes are being passed on

With women they can do that, because they carry the child. So they probably want to find the best male to get pregnant from. Someone physically fit and mentally strong. Then look for a partner that can provide them the best access to resources. Which explains why woman’s desires change based on where they are in their cycle.

What was it you listened to? I’d love to give it a listen "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In other words alpha fux beta bux or alpha lays beta pays.

My guess is that men are designed to spread our seed far and wide because it doesn’t matter if we aren’t around for the kid. There’s a chance it might survive anyways to continue passing our genes. But it pays to stay around for some to ensure our genes are being passed on

With women they can do that, because they carry the child. So they probably want to find the best male to get pregnant from. Someone physically fit and mentally strong. Then look for a partner that can provide them the best access to resources. Which explains why woman’s desires change based on where they are in their cycle.

What was it you listened to? I’d love to give it a listen "
irrc correctly that's a very simplified model that doesn't completely stand up. Game theory makes life a lot more complicated. However it suits mgtow views.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Child bearing hips as an attraction...it that a myth..

Tom prefers slim and not big hips what are big hips though "

Use your imagination ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Child bearing hips as an attraction...it that a myth..

Tom prefers slim and not big hips what are big hips though

Use your imagination ??"
trigger answer,slim women and slim men

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Tom like slim women. Just his preference..

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?

Well it seems acceptable when I approach men or women but not the other way around. Hardly seems fair to me.

If you have an issue with our choices that’s fine but no need to be so judgmental"

Women aren't going to shag a man who's offering something they're not keen to be involved in

That's fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?

Well it seems acceptable when I approach men or women but not the other way around. Hardly seems fair to me.

If you have an issue with our choices that’s fine but no need to be so judgmental

Women aren't going to shag a man who's offering something they're not keen to be involved in

That's fair "

I get that, but for swingers people seem to be very judgmental of men and not women from my experience. It’s not about “ash getting his end away” it’s more of everyone getting something from the experience.

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By *tinerant scribeMan
over a year ago

County Durham

In every monogamous relationship I have been in as an adult, both of us have straightforwardly admitted that we noticed and were attracted to other people. I can't guage whether the wider world made me or my partners hornier. My guess is that it was about equal. I was only unfaithful in one relationship, because the sting of not feeling desired, not having a sex life with my partner, and her not agreeing to counseling was too great. I felt rejected and needed to know that I wasn't damp peeling wallpaper in human form.

Outside of that context I intend to be monogamous or ENM.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Is it biological or societal programming?

I choose to believe that my cheating was my own choice not some biological programming.

I choose to believe that my interest in ENM is because I accept that one person does not have to be 100% of what I need in a partner.

I feel I could go back to being monogamous if I wanted to, but choose not to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?

Well it seems acceptable when I approach men or women but not the other way around. Hardly seems fair to me.

If you have an issue with our choices that’s fine but no need to be so judgmental

Women aren't going to shag a man who's offering something they're not keen to be involved in

That's fair

I get that, but for swingers people seem to be very judgmental of men and not women from my experience. It’s not about “ash getting his end away” it’s more of everyone getting something from the experience. "

Swingers don't have to fuck everyone who asks. They are allowed to have opinions and attraction to different things.

Men are plentiful. Why pick one who is attached, when there are so many single ones.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?

Well it seems acceptable when I approach men or women but not the other way around. Hardly seems fair to me.

If you have an issue with our choices that’s fine but no need to be so judgmental

Women aren't going to shag a man who's offering something they're not keen to be involved in

That's fair

I get that, but for swingers people seem to be very judgmental of men and not women from my experience. It’s not about “ash getting his end away” it’s more of everyone getting something from the experience.

Swingers don't have to fuck everyone who asks. They are allowed to have opinions and attraction to different things.

Men are plentiful. Why pick one who is attached, when there are so many single ones. "

There are some women who seem to specialise in married men..

I wonder if it's the thrill element

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ethical non monogamy (ENM) is definitely the lifestyle for us. ENM allows us to be free and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately we get a lot of kick back ashley approaches women, they seem to have an issue with it that I just don’t. Hopefully one day it will be more acceptable to people.

But why does it need to be more acceptable? Just so Ashley can get his end away?

Well it seems acceptable when I approach men or women but not the other way around. Hardly seems fair to me.

If you have an issue with our choices that’s fine but no need to be so judgmental

Women aren't going to shag a man who's offering something they're not keen to be involved in

That's fair

I get that, but for swingers people seem to be very judgmental of men and not women from my experience. It’s not about “ash getting his end away” it’s more of everyone getting something from the experience.

Swingers don't have to fuck everyone who asks. They are allowed to have opinions and attraction to different things.

Men are plentiful. Why pick one who is attached, when there are so many single ones. "

This is the reason I steer away from men who have partners. Too complicated. Being ENM is already making things complicated without adding to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is in that, I think I am naturally non monogamous. Especially given how monogamy is forced down our throats and non monogamous set ups are shamed (even on here).

I think older, pre colonial societies in which non monogamy was more common also suggest that for some, it’s pretty much natural.

I do think you can unlearn behaviours that will allow you to be in non monogamous set ups even if you aren’t naturally as well though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There are some women who seem to specialise in married men..

I wonder if it's the thrill element "

More probable the safety side of it - less likely that the guy is going to make an emotional move on the lady half or be stalky if he is hitched and cheating, less likely he will ever be indiscreet and if the other half does know he's much more likely to be emotionally balanced. Oh and more likely to actually turn up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There are some women who seem to specialise in married men..

I wonder if it's the thrill element

More probable the safety side of it - less likely that the guy is going to make an emotional move on the lady half or be stalky if he is hitched and cheating, less likely he will ever be indiscreet and if the other half does know he's much more likely to be emotionally balanced. Oh and more likely to actually turn up."

Can’t speak for all but I can speak for myself. Definitely true for me

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