FabSwingers.com forum: Lads, tell me something?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of course we know sites like fab don’t help everyone’s confidence. But what does? What gives you that ‘I’m *THAT* fucking guy’ feeling? Or what makes you feel just happy with who you are? When it’s going to shit on places like this that we might seek validation from, where else do you get it?

Be prepared for me to get soppy on you if you comment something serious.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

*scene ends*

*Joey removes bandages from over his face*

Joey: “I’M BACK BABYYYYYYY Hahahaha”

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

What helps YOU OP?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Honestly if you need validation from strangers on the internet, be that fab, insta, facebook or other sites I believe you need to assess yourself and your priorities.

My sense of validation mainly comes from my self and then my actual friends. It can come from doing a good job at work. Personal development, learning something new and then working to apply or perfect it. Hell even working on game trophies gives me more validation than this place.

This place is a school.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What helps YOU OP?"

You know I generally go through my favourite pictures of myself or recall positive comments/ feedback I’ve received and focus on the evidence that I’m a decent person and/ or a decent looking person. And that gives me a bit of a lift usually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly if you need validation from strangers on the internet, be that fab, insta, facebook or other sites I believe you need to assess yourself and your priorities.

This place is a school."

This 100% ^

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Honestly if you need validation from strangers on the internet, be that fab, insta, facebook or other sites I believe you need to assess yourself and your priorities.

This place is a school."

I have anxiety, man, I’m doing my best

But I do love the things you do. That’s some real shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What helps YOU OP?

It's an interesting question.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lmao I’m gonna say ‘nevermind’ to this one and enjoy my day, man.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

When I go fishing and I’m the only person at the pond that catches a big fish.

I know, I know, it’s all rock and roll with me.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Honestly if you need validation from strangers on the internet, be that fab, insta, facebook or other sites I believe you need to assess yourself and your priorities.

This place is a school."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This place is a school."

And I'm Tucker Jenkins.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

If people spent less time seeking validation from strangers online and spent more time validating themselves through hard work, goal setting and achieving, self improve, education and exercise there wouldn’t be a confidence issue

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Compare yourself to you from last year. If your still in the same position, somethings wrong.

My validation comes from hard work at work and in my sports. It comes from relationships and friends. It comes from another day drug free. It comes from embracing who I am, my interests and hobbies.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"This place is a school.

And I'm Tucker Jenkins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people spent less time seeking validation from strangers online and spent more time validating themselves through hard work, goal setting and achieving, self improve, education and exercise there wouldn’t be a confidence issue

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Compare yourself to you from last year. If your still in the same position, somethings wrong.

My validation comes from hard work at work and in my sports. It comes from relationships and friends. It comes from another day drug free. It comes from embracing who I am, my interests and hobbies. "

True

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I go fishing and I’m the only person at the pond that catches a big fish.

I know, I know, it’s all rock and roll with me.

Love that for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Compare yourself to you from last year. If your still in the same position, somethings wrong.

Love this for you.

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By *edsmudgeMan
over a year ago

oxford

"This place is a school.

And I'm Tucker Jenkins.

Just say no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I’ve had THAT feeling, has been during my time training. When my coach notices and points out improvements. When members ive never spoke to point out the changes they’ve seen.

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By *tticus Finch 76Man
over a year ago

Northampton

I've always just been me and never sought validation from others. There are ups and downs in life but that's just life.

Some people will like me, some won't and some won't even notice me. I can't be anyone but who I am and I'm fine with that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The only time I’ve had THAT feeling, has been during my time training. When my coach notices and points out improvements. When members ive never spoke to point out the changes they’ve seen. "

That sounds really validating and I totally get that. That’s great I love that for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've always just been me and never sought validation from others. There are ups and downs in life but that's just life.

Some people will like me, some won't and some won't even notice me. I can't be anyone but who I am and I'm fine with that."

Nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A website doesn’t give me confidence. Dude.

Fabs on my pics perk me up a bit. A faf, might boost my sexual ego.

But there’s something every now and again that washes over me when I know I could take on the world and nothing could stop me. I can’t explain it, but the one time I remember that was in my late teens and early twenties. I had everything I wanted. Dreams/friends and the most beautiful girl around. There might be something in that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her ladyship is incredibly good for my ego. She couldn't make it more obvious that she adores me and fancies me and I shamelessly enjoy that. I have a few really good friends too who help me feel good about myself both by how they talk about me/react to me and also how being around them makes me feel.

Professionally, the feed back I get from customers is a boost too - I got told to increase my fee the the other day as I'm sorry more than I charge - the sub text being if we offer more money you'll devote your time to us instead of other customers.

Despite all this, a fluttering eyelash emoji at the end of a comment from a fab stranger still makes me feel good about myself so yeah, validation from strangers plays its part.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Ah Steve. It's so easy to say and sounds flippant, but it really does come from accepting yourself for who you are, warts and all. That can take a bit of work if at heart you're an anxious people pleaser (talking about myself here!) "I should be this... I should do that... Why can't I cope, everyone else is..."

That's all a pile of bollocks. Should is not your friend. I've found I give fewer fucks with every year that passes - not helpful to you right now, but reassuring perhaps?

Find what brings you joy. Chuck the things that don't, if you can. You're a lovely, kind and thoughtful man.

Mrs TMN x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oh whoops. Am not a lad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This place is a school.

And I'm Tucker Jenkins.

Fucker Jenkins would make a good username. I'll add it to the list.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Ah Steve. It's so easy to say and sounds flippant, but it really does come from accepting yourself for who you are, warts and all. That can take a bit of work if at heart you're an anxious people pleaser (talking about myself here!) "I should be this... I should do that... Why can't I cope, everyone else is..."

That's all a pile of bollocks. Should is not your friend. I've found I give fewer fucks with every year that passes - not helpful to you right now, but reassuring perhaps?

Find what brings you joy. Chuck the things that don't, if you can. You're a lovely, kind and thoughtful man.

Mrs TMN x"

This.

Jo.Xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I've taken to using a fountain pen...its the bollox....so easy to convey your thoughts onto paper....no good with a smartphone though ...messy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t need validation from strangers. The people that matter to me all love and respect me and that’s all the validation I need.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I don’t need validation from strangers. The people that matter to me all love and respect me and that’s all the validation I need."

This a hundred times over.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’m not a lad but my answer is to smile at someone. Simply that. Smiling is contagious and receiving a smile back lifts me just as if I hadn’t initiated it. Love others - the giving is the fun part - but the love will bounce back to you too.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I have anxiety, man, I’m doing my best

But I do love the things you do. That’s some real shit

Doing your best is all anyone can ever ask of you, including yourself. But only you know if you are giving it your best or making excuses for yourself.

As thicc said, compare you now to you then instead of you to others. Sure you can use others as inspiration, but never compare. There is always someone bigger, faster, stronger out there. Learn to accept that, and be happy in yourself and your journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we seek validation from temporal things then we'll always be let down and be disappointed. Make sure it's from real friends, not internet strangers that fulfil desires that then leave you empty and needing refilled (couldn't resist

Know yourself, many of us don't really, we may know that person that we want to think is the real one often a projection of what we want or what others want then reality hits.

Unless we know ourselves what can we really offer other but nearly a shadow, not even a reflection.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I’m not a lad but my answer is to smile at someone. Simply that. Smiling is contagious and receiving a smile back lifts me just as if I hadn’t initiated it. Love others - the giving is the fun part - but the love will bounce back to you too.

"
hello smiler

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's nice to told you're hot or that someone wants to bang you until the sun comes up but it's not actually going to change what happens in your life.

Words are great for a little ego boost but you can give yourself that by setting out to achieve something and actually doing it.

Am I a really good looking guy, no.

Do I have an amazing personality that nobody can resist, also no.

I'm a bit of alright to some people and I like some of them back and my sarcastic nature and humour appeals to some also so I'm good with that as well.

I know I'm pretty damn awesome and I can't help if some people are blind to it because I don't have a 8 inch penis or drive a flashy car or look like some celebrities that were gifted their looks without hitting one single branch on the ugly tree.

I'm me and I'm all good with that

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By *aramelloMan
over a year ago

Walsall

I understand exactly what u mean. Validation from the opposite sex is entirely different from self validation.

Something a lot of people don’t realise is that women can put on a revealing outfit or a face full of make up and will get looks, car horns and people trying to compliment them.

We men DO NOT GET THIS. Ours comes from approaching/communicating with women and obtaining something from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand exactly what u mean. Validation from the opposite sex is entirely different from self validation.

Something a lot of people don’t realise is that women can put on a revealing outfit or a face full of make up and will get looks, car horns and people trying to compliment them.

We men DO NOT GET THIS. Ours comes from approaching/communicating with women and obtaining something from it. "

Fair point. I might think a bloke looks good today but I wouldn't say it because I'd be worried he'd think I'm flirting.

I'd be fine telling a woman I thought she looked good today.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I like offering help or advice to others not just on fab. Sometimes we need people like that in society. Just to be that person who is there when needed.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I understand exactly what u mean. Validation from the opposite sex is entirely different from self validation.

Something a lot of people don’t realise is that women can put on a revealing outfit or a face full of make up and will get looks, car horns and people trying to compliment them.

We men DO NOT GET THIS. Ours comes from approaching/communicating with women and obtaining something from it.

Fair point. I might think a bloke looks good today but I wouldn't say it because I'd be worried he'd think I'm flirting.

I'd be fine telling a woman I thought she looked good today.

You know some women think like guys and some guys think like women though right?

I don't assume someone wants to sleep with me because they say I'm looking good, I just take it as a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand exactly what u mean. Validation from the opposite sex is entirely different from self validation.

Something a lot of people don’t realise is that women can put on a revealing outfit or a face full of make up and will get looks, car horns and people trying to compliment them.

We men DO NOT GET THIS. Ours comes from approaching/communicating with women and obtaining something from it.

Fair point. I might think a bloke looks good today but I wouldn't say it because I'd be worried he'd think I'm flirting.

I'd be fine telling a woman I thought she looked good today.

Would it not depend on how and when you said? It can be said without coming across as flirting. There's quite a difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Validation is a word that is thrown around a lot on fab right now but it’s often way off the mark. When someone truly seeks validation from other people they will do anything to get it. Ego boost or to feel wanted/desired is a completely different thing.

It’s a case of need/want or it would be good.

This also comes down to personality too if you are extroverted or introverted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly if you need validation from strangers on the internet, be that fab, insta, facebook or other sites I believe you need to assess yourself and your priorities.

This place is a school."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't realise I need validation from anyone, including myself?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Bit odd a few are saying they don't seek validation from others especially on sites like this.

The usual story on fab is swinging is a community (blah blah), so this would go hand in hand with friendships, communication and acceptance = validation.

As the majority of any communication is done online, then latterly in person, whether setting up meets or attending clubs, having others accept you for who you are would be reasonably important.

If people weren't to get any meets on here, would they feel validated? Would they feel outside of the community? Would they feel swinging isn't for them? Of course.

Everyone seeks validation from strangers, on here or anywhere else, be it a wink, a smile, a hello, a how you doing, a 'you look nice', a response to a thread - if not it'd be a cold cold world.

(I just hope I've got this topic right)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course we know sites like fab don’t help everyone’s confidence. But what does? What gives you that ‘I’m *THAT* fucking guy’ feeling? Or what makes you feel just happy with who you are? When it’s going to shit on places like this that we might seek validation from, where else do you get it?

Be prepared for me to get soppy on you if you comment something serious.

In all honesty Steve it would be when my 4 year old daughter is being either charming or funny. No matter what I think or feel about myself, I watch my little girl and think to myself, I played a part in making her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand exactly what u mean. Validation from the opposite sex is entirely different from self validation.

Something a lot of people don’t realise is that women can put on a revealing outfit or a face full of make up and will get looks, car horns and people trying to compliment them.

We men DO NOT GET THIS. Ours comes from approaching/communicating with women and obtaining something from it.

Fair point. I might think a bloke looks good today but I wouldn't say it because I'd be worried he'd think I'm flirting.

I'd be fine telling a woman I thought she looked good today.

Would it not depend on how and when you said? It can be said without coming across as flirting. There's quite a difference."

From reading some posts from men on here, if a woman merely makes eye contact she's absolutely gagging for his cock.

(Not all men)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Laying the wood smashing someone on the field of battle and standing above there broken body shouting woooooooooooooooo get that into ya before going after the next this or scoring with some beautiful foodwork of flicking away an out the back offload for a full length score interceptions work too thats what gives me a hit that and seeing a person i like

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