FabSwingers.com forum: Contacting verifications

By *irmingham_Sissy_Maid OP TV/TS
over a year ago

sutton Coldfield

What is the etiquette about contacting peoples verifications? I’ve been contacted asking what my meet with X person was like, what he liked and if there was anything I noticed that really turned him on so that they could impress.

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'd say find out for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like this. I want someone to get to know me from me, not what someone else thought I liked or didn't like.

Part of the reason I don't display anything but my summary.

I think it's nice you are going to ask his opinion on it first though. Some people may not mind

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Is this Trip Advisor?

Do you need to know how long the queue is for Snake Mountain?

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

I’d find that difficult to deal with and I’d find it a bit disconcerting if one of my meets shared info with someone else with regard to the third party arranging a meet.

However you’re doing the best thing by contacting the person you met with to see if they would like any info to be passed on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine are all hidden but I'd tell them to do one.

Whatever happened to discretion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd not share a sausage and probably warn the person I have verified.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I’ve had this previously, that’s why mine are hidden, what happened between me and that person is private, I would check with the person involved before you reply to anyone, they might not even be meeting them

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Confidential

Confidential & private

Strictly confidential

Top secret

Top secret classified

Classified information

Sensitive information

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"What is the etiquette about contacting peoples verifications? I’ve been contacted asking what my meet with X person was like, what he liked and if there was anything I noticed that really turned him on so that they could impress.

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is."

I'd tell them to jog on.

What happens between parties on a meet is between them. If they choose to put something in a veri then that is all that others need to know.

Everyone is different.

Just because something happened or went well on one meet doesn't guarantee it will on the next, or with someone different.

And you'd need serious balls to contact someone asking for details of someone else. What would you do if they turned round and said the meet was average or that something negative happened? How would you know someone wasn't telling fibs - after all there's a fair amount of lamp post pissing goes on here?

If you seriously need to ask what to do I'd be worried if I was one of your meets....

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

I'd tell them to jog on.

What happens between parties on a meet is between them. If they choose to put something in a veri then that is all that others need to know.

Everyone is different.

Just because something happened or went well on one meet doesn't guarantee it will on the next, or with someone different.

If you seriously need to ask what to do I'd be worried if I was one of your meets....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of there business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comparing notes

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Good luck to anyone trying to ask mine, they’re all friends. They could be told anything

Id tell them to bugger off.. it’s not check a trade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be very concerned if I found out that the person we were meeting had done that. It’s very odd behaviour.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

It’s nothing to do with anyone else and I would tell them nothing and to find out for themselves.It’s a bit odd isn’t it .

We went to a party once where the person holding it had decided to give our number out to a single man that was at the party if we want someone to have our info we would have given it to him .we ended up having to block his number .

I just think giving anyone any kind of info about someone is wrong on so many levels .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id say thats a no no

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Jog on is what they'd get, what am I trip advisor!?

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Oh my, Do people do this?

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I actually find it very creepy. We had someone contact a previous meet to ask if my real name was …

We only show social meet verifications now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's like cheating on a test, I figured out what turned him all by myself, fuck off and do the same.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

It’s not good form to do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I said in an earlier thread, someone I used to see regularly told me they’d been contacted by everyone I’d seen since I stopped meeting with them - sadly for them I’m friends with everyone that’s left me a veri so didn’t take long to work out they had contacted everyone first. Passive aggressive behaviour can be commonplace here from time to time.

I definitely wouldn’t share details of any of the meets I’d had with anyone, nor would I expect the people I’ve met to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually find it very creepy. We had someone contact a previous meet to ask if my real name was …

We only show social meet verifications now"
agreed

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I think it’s weird and creepy to be honest.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I'd tell them the only info they are getting is what's already written in the verification.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’ve had that a few times in the past but I refused to comment, the dynamics between me and someone might not be the same if he met someone else, I used to say either meet them or don’t it’s as simple as that

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

It's s no from me and a tiny bit creepy. Like they want a clone of your experience or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find it odd sometimes that someone who has only recently joined, suddenly has a dozen or so verifications...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s weird and creepy to be honest. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never contact somebody else's verifications to ask what that person is like. To be honest I think it's really rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is."

But you don’t have any veris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do find it odd sometimes that someone who has only recently joined, suddenly has a dozen or so verifications..."

More often than not it is someone that has returned, Also from one club night or social I can get 20+ veri's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do find it odd sometimes that someone who has only recently joined, suddenly has a dozen or so verifications..."

Why? Could be they’ve attended a social event, party or club.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Personally speaking, I wouldn't do this, it would feel a bit stalkerish. X

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Personally speaking, I wouldn't do this, it would feel a bit stalkerish. X"

Welcome back!

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, it’s too personal. That’s one of the reasons mine are hidden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure, people can ‘ask’ me what they want…….

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I’ve been asked a couple of times… I didn’t mind just saying, yes, they are who they say they are etc- turned up on time, were nice and polite etc.

However, a lady made it a mission to go through my veris and trying to arrange meets with several of them… I didn’t know what to make of it to be honest. I suppose everyone has the freedom to contact someone and make arrangements- it is up to the individuals as the end of the day.

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By *he FAB Social - MCRCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

I’ve heard this a few times from men having been asked what a meet with me was like, also that they have had ladies mail them saying ‘I see you met Goodnitegirl. I won’t meet you again if you carry on seeing her.

I don’t actually know what is weirder but I think both are rude as heck and I wouldn’t even dream of it never mind DO it!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve heard this a few times from men having been asked what a meet with me was like, also that they have had ladies mail them saying ‘I see you met Goodnitegirl. I won’t meet you again if you carry on seeing her.

I don’t actually know what is weirder but I think both are rude as heck and I wouldn’t even dream of it never mind DO it!

"
id meet ya

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By *urvytreatWoman
over a year ago

somewhere nice

I’d say what happened was between you 2 and they need to find out for themself.

I wouldn’t like it it someone shared info about me x

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

" Id tell them to bugger off.. it’s not check a trade"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is."

It's weird and tbh I'd probably block that profile and message the person they were asking about tell them

This is why I don't show verifications because people always so strange things like this

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By *he FAB Social - MCRCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

It's weird and tbh I'd probably block that profile and message the person they were asking about tell them

This is why I don't show verifications because people always so strange things like this "

This all said. Is the recipient not as bad if they SHARE details that are more than ‘aye he/she was lovely. Deffo wouldn’t discourage a meet’. Madness isn’t it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

It's made me think I'm going to have to increase the initial verification bribe in the event of post verification cryptic questions that maybe inbound ...

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By *ixenforfunWoman
over a year ago

banes mask

Id feel very weird about it. I dont display my veris after one lad i met messaged me a while after i put up his veri telling me he was getting a load of messages from fellas asking what i was like in bed and was i any good what my kik name etc was. I found it really gross tbh

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've never done it and I've never had anyone ask about someone I've verified but I've had someone go out of their way to ask someone about me.

When they didn't get the info they wanted they started a thread about me to get around my filters.

I've seen women say that they often contact other women about their verifications and that they do it for safety reasons.

I don't accept that for a second because if someone is displaying a verification they obviously aren't going to tell anyone to avoid them as they are dangerous or nasty.

I've also seen women contact and befriend other women through verifications so that they can keep them close and onside.

On similar threads I've seen people say that they are happy to discuss and recommend people they have verified.

I'm not comfortable with networking without consent. Not everyone wants to be recommended or discussed with people they've never spoken to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

It's weird and tbh I'd probably block that profile and message the person they were asking about tell them

This is why I don't show verifications because people always so strange things like this

This all said. Is the recipient not as bad if they SHARE details that are more than ‘aye he/she was lovely. Deffo wouldn’t discourage a meet’. Madness isn’t it!!"

No, I've been in that situation and it's weird and scary. We were in bed afterwards and he told me that he had messaged 'x' before hand and was told personal information about me.

It shouldn't be done under any circumstances, verifications should be to prove someone is a genuine person plus being 'lovely' is subjective

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I think it crass and if someone asked me about other Veris I would tell someone to fuck off .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Id feel very weird about it. I dont display my veris after one lad i met messaged me a while after i put up his veri telling me he was getting a load of messages from fellas asking what i was like in bed and was i any good what my kik name etc was. I found it really gross tbh"

This

Plus it makes you feel so vulnerable

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Nope...surely a fab no no

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By *un couple 2Couple
over a year ago

Tynemouth.

The reason our verifications are hidden.its supposed to be all disctete on here. But had guys asking about people we have met

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By *ixenforfunWoman
over a year ago

banes mask

This

Plus it makes you feel so vulnerable "

Its extremely unsettling knowing people are trying to get info on you. Now i dont have kik or the like but you dont go asking people for another persons personal acc name etc on other apps.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified."

Fuck me I'm being blonde today....of course you can't.

*apologies to any blondes who may have been offended by that comment. I don't have any hair. Blonde or otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Fuck me I'm being blonde today....of course you can't.

*apologies to any blondes who may have been offended by that comment. I don't have any hair. Blonde or otherwise."

There may be more to this story

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Mine are all hidden but I'd tell them to do one.

Whatever happened to discretion?"

I wondered about hiding mine. Thought it might have made look like I was hiding something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

Maybe they are considering messaging someone else's veri for more information but are asking about it before doing so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine are all hidden but I'd tell them to do one.

Whatever happened to discretion?

I wondered about hiding mine. Thought it might have made look like I was hiding something

You can hide individual verifications but keep your verification summary on your profile so people can still see that you've met etc

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Mine are all hidden but I'd tell them to do one.

Whatever happened to discretion?

I wondered about hiding mine. Thought it might have made look like I was hiding something

You can hide individual verifications but keep your verification summary on your profile so people can still see that you've met etc"

Oh. Got to say, I've never really bothered looking at mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified."

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?"
you don't. Or you wait until one of you meets a verified person.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?"

Yep. You have to get verified, before you can reciprocate. Bizarre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s nothing to do with anyone else and I would tell them nothing and to find out for themselves.It’s a bit odd isn’t it .

I just think giving anyone any kind of info about someone is wrong on so many levels ."

That's awful!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it crass and if someone asked me about other Veris I would tell someone to fuck off .

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?

Yep. You have to get verified, before you can reciprocate. Bizarre

It's one of the best rules on fab. Imagine how many fake profile threads there would be if you were able to verify at will!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?

Yep. You have to get verified, before you can reciprocate. Bizarre

It's one of the best rules on fab. Imagine how many fake profile threads there would be if you were able to verify at will!"

Haha good point, hadn’t considered that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

Maybe they are considering messaging someone else's veri for more information but are asking about it before doing so "

That probably is what’s happening but that isn’t what they’ve said in the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?"

It's usually suggested that one of you go on cams and try and get a verification that why so you can verify someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t see it as a bad thing as long there’s no personal info shared. I’m going to ask the guy I met what his thoughts are but interested to see the general consensus is.

But you don’t have any veris

The plot thickens!!

I suppose that doesn't mean the OP hasn't left any for anyone else but is a tad odd that none of their meets has left one for them in what appears a long time on site....

Maybe they are considering messaging someone else's veri for more information but are asking about it before doing so

That probably is what’s happening but that isn’t what they’ve said in the OP."

Ah I didn't read the initial comment properly.

Ignore me!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"You can’t leave a veri if you aren’t verified.

Genuinely didn’t know this

How would you get around it if neither of you were verified?

Yep. You have to get verified, before you can reciprocate. Bizarre

It's one of the best rules on fab. Imagine how many fake profile threads there would be if you were able to verify at will!"

Makes sense

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

It’s creepy and invasive and is the reason I hide mine.

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Tell them to mind their own business... Contacting peoples verifications is just a massive no! For any reason

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I think it crass and if someone asked me about other Veris I would tell someone to fuck off .

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

[Removed by poster at 23/05/22 18:46:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm agreeing with the other comments. I would say jog on...

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

Would not dream of contacting verifyers.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Haven't had this happen yet... Only a comment about me meeting a much younger guy.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Anything more than 'turned up on time, didn't smell, wasn't a twat' is TMI

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By *he FAB Social - MCRCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

To be fair I’ve had two people contact me to tell me that the people have died (via going through their veris) but that’s a different kettle of fish I suppose.

GG. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair I’ve had two people contact me to tell me that the people have died (via going through their veris) but that’s a different kettle of fish I suppose.

GG. X"

No this is different and in this instance I would like to be messaged and told

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think it's a low and scummy thing to do if I'm honest. I was contacted by a woman through a Veri I left for someone else. To tell me that I should no longer meet the person because they wanted to meet him.

I don't give out info about anyone and I don't expect anyone I have veried to give out info either. If they did I would have zero time for them or the person who asked.

I don't understand the mentality of people who feel the need to go sleuthing on here about others and I understand less the people who are more than willing to give out info .

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By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

Their motives sound genuine but I don't display our verifications as we've had people contact our previous meets asking them to say they know them and put in a good word for them, which to be honest I think is creepy

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By *cruffymooWoman
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

"I don't like this. I want someone to get to know me from me, not what someone else thought I liked or didn't like.

Part of the reason I don't display anything but my summary.

I think it's nice you are going to ask his opinion on it first though. Some people may not mind

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

In the unlikely event that this happened, I'd be ignoring, blocking and warning the other person.

However, I'm aware that people have contacted verifications, where they were already an acquaintance. So there's probably some context needed to individual cases.

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