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"Honestly, to feel wanted and desired again...was the reason I joined this site. It's extremely important to me!" I have a feeling you won't have a problem finding willing admirers! | |||
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I’m not sure if I went off topic or not then saff so apologies if I did! | |||
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"It’s essential - I need reassurance from my husband that he adores me! I don’t need that from strangers but it’s nice to be told, without a doubt " This. 
From a partner is essential.
From a potential swinging meet it's desirable.
From joe public that you don't know/couldn't care less about....... not important at all.
If people need to be desired by the masses rather than a specific individual then they have ego issues IMHO. There's a difference between wanting to be appreciated, respected and treated decently and a need to be lusted after or desired. The former is healthy, the latter definitely isn't.
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"Honestly, to feel wanted and desired again...was the reason I joined this site. It's extremely important to me!" Your photos are clearly popular, and with reason, but do you feel fab attention has filled that gap? | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. " Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… | |||
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"It’s essential - I need reassurance from my husband that he adores me! I don’t need that from strangers but it’s nice to be told, without a doubt " I love the way that many couples here are clearly madly in love and the desire of others almost enhances that.. it’s a fascinating dynamic | |||
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"Honestly, to feel wanted and desired again...was the reason I joined this site. It's extremely important to me! I have a feeling you won't have a problem finding willing admirers! " There's a difference between people liking my pictures or my profile and someone making me feel wanted and desired... But I appreciate the "pick me up"  | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… " External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. | |||
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"It is massively essential for me to even take an interest in anyone... Unfortunately I have been ghosted by men that have told me they feel that way about me, too many times in a row, now, that I just don't believe anyone that I find attractive, when they tell me they fancy me. And I hadn't even had sex with them, only had socials, which makes me feel worse than if they had seen me naked "The downside of desire for sure.. that’s down to them and their inability to communicate and be open I guess.. still crappy | |||
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"Honestly, to feel wanted and desired again...was the reason I joined this site. It's extremely important to me! Your photos are clearly popular, and with reason, but do you feel fab attention has filled that gap?" Not that much, no | |||
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"It's important to me to make the man I'm with feel desirable and vice versa. Desire from strangers does nothing for me. " Do flirty comments expressing desire get your attention or do you find them uncomfortable? | |||
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"Respect adoration and desire and a sensual sexual connection and desire is everything " I think I’m broken | |||
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"It’s nice to be told I’m liked,or I make a difference in peoples lives,but I don’t need to feel desired. As long as I’m there for my friends and I make them safe and happy then all is good. Looks wise I don’t think I’ve ever been desirable but I’m totally ok with that. I can always use my humour
I’m not sure if I went off topic or not then saff so apologies if I did! "You always go off topic 
But yes I get that. I rely on my charm too 
Being liked as a human is way higher up my list than being desired. | |||
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"Respect adoration and desire and a sensual sexual connection and desire is everything I think I’m broken" I don't think you're broken Saff, I think you're simply blueghed out from all the bullshit etc. | |||
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"Respect adoration and desire and a sensual sexual connection and desire is everything I think I’m broken I don't think you're broken Saff, I think you're simply blueghed out from all the bullshit etc." I really cba… I don’t give a shit what someone thinks of my tits.. I want them to think I’m hilarious. | |||
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"It’s essential - I need reassurance from my husband that he adores me! I don’t need that from strangers but it’s nice to be told, without a doubt This.
From a partner is essential.
From a potential swinging meet it's desirable.
From joe public that you don't know/couldn't care less about....... not important at all.
If people need to be desired by the masses rather than a specific individual then they have ego issues IMHO. There's a difference between wanting to be appreciated, respected and treated decently and a need to be lusted after or desired. The former is healthy, the latter definitely isn't.
A"Totally… and there is every shade of it here. It’s total extremes. | |||
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"Not feeling like you are desired in a relationship can be soul destroying. When you make all the effort with compliments, flowers, making plans for romantic getaways, always being the one who instigates sex or any intimacy and get nothing back, it's a relationship killer." 100% on a one to one basis. That’s an absolute deal breaker for me. But it’s only important with one person at a time to me.. and I’d have to know that person to be affected either way. | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. " This. If it's someone I find attractive, it's all good. But we have no control over who fancies us or not so no point worrying about it I suppose. | |||
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"Oh yes. " All I can see if the Churchill dog right now..
Yes what Jay?!? | |||
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"It's important to me to make the man I'm with feel desirable and vice versa. Desire from strangers does nothing for me. Do flirty comments expressing desire get your attention or do you find them uncomfortable?" They make me uncomfortable at the start tbh. Whether from men I find attractive or not. If I fancy someone and we've got talking - it's fine. | |||
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"I think on Fab attention is easily mistaken for desire ! I'd settle for honest mutual attraction. "I think you might be right | |||
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"Not feeling like you are desired in a relationship can be soul destroying. When you make all the effort with compliments, flowers, making plans for romantic getaways, always being the one who instigates sex or any intimacy and get nothing back, it's a relationship killer." I completely agree | |||
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"Imagine having hunger beyond anything that casual sexy times could ever reach, and that someone tells me they don’t feel the same. That is heartbreak. I don’t ‘need’ to be desired. But it is nice when you are, the level of how that feels depends on who it is. But I do need to feel wanted by those I want to get naked with, if I don’t feel it, it’s empty sex. I don’t like empty sex. " Ah Chuck
Yeah I agree it’s vital in a naked situation.. | |||
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As for compliments from people where there is no attraction I appreciate them but I guess they don't really have the same impact on me. | |||
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"Imagine having hunger beyond anything that casual sexy times could ever reach, and that someone tells me they don’t feel the same. That is heartbreak. I don’t ‘need’ to be desired. But it is nice when you are, the level of how that feels depends on who it is. But I do need to feel wanted by those I want to get naked with, if I don’t feel it, it’s empty sex. I don’t like empty sex. " | |||
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"I had a message out of the blue yesterday from someone I'm really attracted to saying how attracted she was to me by my latest photo, that made my day
As for compliments from people where there is no attraction I appreciate them but I guess they don't really have the same impact on me."Ah that’s lovely see yes this is what I mean! With a match it’s lovely. With anyone else it’s just not the same.. | |||
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"I think I’d be being disingenuous if I didn’t admit to enjoying the fact that somebody would desire me. When it happens, I’ll let you know. "Give over fiddles I’ve no doubt that orange is desired. Face isn’t too shabby either | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. " This is so true , one thing life has shown . me is , no one wants to get chatted up by an umpa lumpa looking fuck wit | |||
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"First thing this morning when I was doing my physio workout out my hair not brushed and looking a state my husband told me how beautiful I looked and how much he wanted me . To feel desired by someone you love and desire back is extremely important .It’s nice to know someone else is attracted to you but it’s definitely not the same thing." Ahhhh see that’s just perfection!! I love this! | |||
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"I think I’d be being disingenuous if I didn’t admit to enjoying the fact that somebody would desire me. When it happens, I’ll let you know.
Give over fiddles I’ve no doubt that orange is desired. Face isn’t too shabby either "Why thank you, and your face is always a pleasure to gaze upon. | |||
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"It’s nice to be told I’m liked,or I make a difference in peoples lives,but I don’t need to feel desired. As long as I’m there for my friends and I make them safe and happy then all is good. Looks wise I don’t think I’ve ever been desirable but I’m totally ok with that. I can always use my humour
I’m not sure if I went off topic or not then saff so apologies if I did!
You always go off topic
But yes I get that. I rely on my charm too
Being liked as a human is way higher up my list than being desired. "You do have a certain type of charm! 
And,well I like you anyway. Just a bit.
You’ve a heart of gold | |||
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"Not feeling like you are desired in a relationship can be soul destroying. When you make all the effort with compliments, flowers, making plans for romantic getaways, always being the one who instigates sex or any intimacy and get nothing back, it's a relationship killer." I know that feeling all too well. | |||
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"Depends on which kind of desired we're talking about. Sexually as long as M sees me as sexually desirable I'm good. But I do want to be desired as a friend, which is something I've learnt recently about myself. And it hurts more than it should when I desire to be friends with someone and that isn't mutual. " I agree with this. Wanting to know that someone wants you around and makes time for you is important to me | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing." Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different" Absolutely, but you don't need to feel desired to feel like you belong. Surely respected, cared for, wanted around for who you are is more beneficial to the sense of belonging than being desired? | |||
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"Depends on which kind of desired we're talking about. Sexually as long as M sees me as sexually desirable I'm good. But I do want to be desired as a friend, which is something I've learnt recently about myself. And it hurts more than it should when I desire to be friends with someone and that isn't mutual. " 100% get that and I’m the same with friendship. I’m not bothered about being attracted but it’s important to be liked by those I like. Being fancied is the opposite. It’s not something I want from anyone I don’t feel the same about. | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different Absolutely, but you don't need to feel desired to feel like you belong. Surely respected, cared for, wanted around for who you are is more beneficial to the sense of belonging than being desired? " I agree, desire can't be the 1 and only factor there needs to be alot more to make it work. We've been together aa very long time and worked out what works for us but desire is definitely in there. We have had times when neither had felt particularly desired by the other for various reasons over the years and it certainly makes a big difference to our intimacy and connection. So now we work as hard on this as we do everything else.works for us | |||
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"Unless it's by someone I really like it's just ughhh. " Sorry about that | |||
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"Unless it's by someone I really like it's just ughhh. Sorry about that "I'll let you off this once. | |||
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"Unless it's by someone I really like it's just ughhh. Sorry about that
I'll get you off this once. " | |||
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 . And I hate people that only like Black men because of stereotypical images they have of us. (Not gonna get deep or ranty but you know where I stand on these things). | |||
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"Being desired is a big deal for me. Part of the reason I come on fab is to post pictures and feel desired by others (I know it’s unhealthy I don’t need to hear that lmao). I also use apps like tinder to feel desired by others. Feeling attractive to, and wanted by, people is a big deal for me. Not all desire is good obviously lol. I hate people that fetishise Black men. I hate people that only like you for the ‘contrast of your skin against theirs’ and all that shit . And I hate people that only like Black men because of stereotypical images they have of us. (Not gonna get deep or ranty but you know where I stand on these things). "In terms of what does it for me, well I don’t know. But I guess you know when someone is being genuine. | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… " | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… "General popularity and being desired is absolutely two different things. Desired, she absolutely wants to get naked and share an intimate moment with me. Generally popularity, she will talk to me and we may amuse each other. | |||
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So used to living on my own & very independent that though I find it flattering I'm at peace with myself I don't need feel desired.
Maybe this will change I day or I'm just dead inside haha  | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different Absolutely, but you don't need to feel desired to feel like you belong. Surely respected, cared for, wanted around for who you are is more beneficial to the sense of belonging than being desired? " Yes I agree with you I’m rl but isn’t the measurement of fab, desire? | |||
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"Honestly, to feel wanted and desired again...was the reason I joined this site. It's extremely important to me!" Agree with this. | |||
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"Everyone desires me. And I don’t have to get my growler out. "Whenever I hear growler I think of Lorraine kelly on bo selecta | |||
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"Everyone desires me. And I don’t have to get my growler out.
Whenever I hear growler I think of Lorraine kelly on bo selecta " | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different Absolutely, but you don't need to feel desired to feel like you belong. Surely respected, cared for, wanted around for who you are is more beneficial to the sense of belonging than being desired? Yes I agree with you I’m rl but isn’t the measurement of fab, desire?" That depends on what you prioritise. I'd much rather have people respect my insight, honesty, opinions, experience, friendship etc to people having a mucky wank over my pics, messaging me shit and feeding me waffle and blowing smoke up my arse because they desire me (well, my foof) | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different Absolutely, but you don't need to feel desired to feel like you belong. Surely respected, cared for, wanted around for who you are is more beneficial to the sense of belonging than being desired? Yes I agree with you I’m rl but isn’t the measurement of fab, desire? That depends on what you prioritise. I'd much rather have people respect my insight, honesty, opinions, experience, friendship etc to people having a mucky wank over my pics, messaging me shit and feeding me waffle and blowing smoke up my arse because they desire me (well, my foof) " Yes definitely | |||
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"Honestly, to feel wanted and desired again...was the reason I joined this site. It's extremely important to me!" You're a handsome and chiseled dude, and you've been regularly named on "hottest profile" threads. You're definitely desired .
Now go handle that busy inbox you have :D | |||
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"Only by those I desire. Otherwise it can make me feel a little icky and uncomfortable. Same. I don’t understand why people chase general popularity if they aren’t interested… External validation perhaps? I think for plenty it'll be in healthy measures, but for some I firmly believe it's deflection coz they hate themselves and by getting validation from other people it means they ain't gotta face the truth. Temporary plaster kinda thing. Not always external validation. Often it just a sense of belonging which is different Absolutely, but you don't need to feel desired to feel like you belong. Surely respected, cared for, wanted around for who you are is more beneficial to the sense of belonging than being desired? Yes I agree with you I’m rl but isn’t the measurement of fab, desire? That depends on what you prioritise. I'd much rather have people respect my insight, honesty, opinions, experience, friendship etc to people having a mucky wank over my pics, messaging me shit and feeding me waffle and blowing smoke up my arse because they desire me (well, my foof) " Exactly this… this is what I meant. Give me friendship anyday. | |||
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