FabSwingers.com forum: An ode to vanilla sex.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For those nights when you feel a bit lazy,

Not in the mood for something too crazy,

Missionary's your best friend.

Partner too adventurous?

His suggestions sound incredulous?

Say "Get lost mate, I don't bend.".

Conventional sex is just so underrated,

Fuck anal - that's not how our ancestors mated!

Need I even outline the benefits,

For anyone with really mahoosive tits?

('Cause those moves can make 'em look droll).

Missionary is so much easier,

And it's really way simpler to please her,

When you focus on the right kind of hole.

So instead of a night filled with real awkward cramming,

Just lie back and enjoy a good old-fashioned slamming.

(written from a hetero cis perspective, no offence intended just a bit of fun on a Monday afternoon, kthanksbyeee)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Climb on lass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your name Oscar? Because this is Wilde

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"For those nights when you feel a bit lazy,

Not in the mood for something too crazy,

Missionary's your best friend.

Partner too adventurous?

His suggestions sound incredulous?

Say "Get lost mate, I don't bend.".

Conventional sex is just so underrated,

Fuck anal - that's not how our ancestors mated!

Need I even outline the benefits,

For anyone with really mahoosive tits?

('Cause those moves can make 'em look droll).

Missionary is so much easier,

And it's really way simpler to please her,

When you focus on the right kind of hole.

So instead of a night filled with real awkward cramming,

Just lie back and enjoy a good old-fashioned slamming.

(written from a hetero cis perspective, no offence intended just a bit of fun on a Monday afternoon, kthanksbyeee) "

That glorious body

Legs spread open wide

The coral hued entrance

Enticing you inside

enjoy all my body

Her form proclaims

My arms my breasts

And my mouth all for you

And I like what I see she exclaims

The pure exploration

The knees thighs and calfs

The excitement rises

The giggles and laughs

Then sliding straight in

The grinding and bumps

The bucking and fucking

The pounds and the humps

The unison ecstasy the smiles and the rush

I'm delighted to be with you

My fab forum crush xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds hot. I’m in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is your name Oscar? Because this is Wilde

More rhymes than you can Shake a Speare at, me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is your name Oscar? Because this is Wilde

More rhymes than you can Shake a Speare at, me

I absolutely came up with this on the spot and now I can die happy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Climb on lass"

#Vanilla4Lyfe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For those nights when you feel a bit lazy,

Not in the mood for something too crazy,

Missionary's your best friend.

Partner too adventurous?

His suggestions sound incredulous?

Say "Get lost mate, I don't bend.".

Conventional sex is just so underrated,

Fuck anal - that's not how our ancestors mated!

Need I even outline the benefits,

For anyone with really mahoosive tits?

('Cause those moves can make 'em look droll).

Missionary is so much easier,

And it's really way simpler to please her,

When you focus on the right kind of hole.

So instead of a night filled with real awkward cramming,

Just lie back and enjoy a good old-fashioned slamming.

(written from a hetero cis perspective, no offence intended just a bit of fun on a Monday afternoon, kthanksbyeee)

That glorious body

Legs spread open wide

The coral hued entrance

Enticing you inside

enjoy all my body

Her form proclaims

My arms my breasts

And my mouth all for you

And I like what I see she exclaims

The pure exploration

The knees thighs and calfs

The excitement rises

The giggles and laughs

Then sliding straight in

The grinding and bumps

The bucking and fucking

The pounds and the humps

The unison ecstasy the smiles and the rush

I'm delighted to be with you

My fab forum crush xx

Who... Me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Sounds hot. I’m in

Come on in, the water's tepid

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By *ristinapinkWoman
over a year ago

Staines-upon-Thames

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young lady from Brittany,

Who loved being fucked in Missionary...

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"There was a young lady from Brittany,

Who loved being fucked in Missionary..."

She opened her legs

Took out the love eggs

And said its OK to enter me

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By *olacolaMan
over a year ago

lincoln

There once was a lady called Cilla

Who’s body really was killer

Although she loved kink

She made my heart sink

When she said ‘you can’t beat a bit of vanilla’

Thank you I’m here all week…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There once was a lady called Cilla

Who’s body really was killer

Although she loved kink

She made my heart sink

When she said ‘you can’t beat a bit of vanilla’

Thank you I’m here all week…"

She's right though...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is your name Oscar? Because this is Wilde

More rhymes than you can Shake a Speare at, me

Gonna be honest I'm disappointed no one's given me mad props for this. It's like, the best thing I've said all year.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Is your name Oscar? Because this is Wilde

More rhymes than you can Shake a Speare at, me

Gonna be honest I'm disappointed no one's given me mad props for this. It's like, the best thing I've said all year. "

That's a great one liner x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is your name Oscar? Because this is Wilde

More rhymes than you can Shake a Speare at, me

Gonna be honest I'm disappointed no one's given me mad props for this. It's like, the best thing I've said all year.

That's a great one liner x

My first mad prop!

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