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gay but secretly bi

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Probably not because there’s no stigma attached to being straight

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By *illingdon_ladMan
over a year ago

Bicester


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?"

It's possible, a gay female friend of mine told me that many gay people don't really like bi people, that surprised me as you'd have thought a group who'd been discriminated against wouldn't really discriminate themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its definitely a thing for many in the lesian community. Apparently us bi-girls arent gay enough. They also look down on lesbians who have had sex with men in the past.

Obviously not all gay women feel that way though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?

It's possible, a gay female friend of mine told me that many gay people don't really like bi people, that surprised me as you'd have thought a group who'd been discriminated against wouldn't really discriminate themselves. "

Huh, if you believe that you don't understand human nature. Discrimination isn't a trait that is only exhibited in certain cultures or groups. Its universal, anyone who tells you they don't discriminate simply hasn't thought hard enough about their beliefs. It's hard to recognise discrimination in ourselves as we spend do much time justifying our thoughts and feelings that we don't see it for what it is.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope but plenty of bi guys who are actually gay

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By *illingdon_ladMan
over a year ago

Bicester


"

Huh, if you believe that you don't understand human nature. Discrimination isn't a trait that is only exhibited in certain cultures or groups. Its universal, anyone who tells you they don't discriminate simply hasn't thought hard enough about their beliefs. It's hard to recognise discrimination in ourselves as we spend do much time justifying our thoughts and feelings that we don't see it for what it is.

Mr"

Yeah looking back that was quite stupid of me to think that.

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By *ccidentprone2023Man
over a year ago

middlesbrough


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?"

Maybe cus alot of women reject guys thats probebrly the case lol

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By *illingdon_ladMan
over a year ago

Bicester


"Its definitely a thing for many in the lesian community. Apparently us bi-girls arent gay enough. They also look down on lesbians who have had sex with men in the past.

Obviously not all gay women feel that way though! "

This is almost word for word what my friend said, she has a son so wasn't considered gay enough.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester


"Its definitely a thing for many in the lesian community. Apparently us bi-girls arent gay enough. They also look down on lesbians who have had sex with men in the past.

Obviously not all gay women feel that way though! "

Have a lesbian friend that has played with me a few times and some of her group of friends where she lives view her as a kind of lesbian traitor / fence sitter because of it ...

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Imagine someone wife/husband having a friend fb that he/she are gay at the eyes of everyone because they were/are married or relationship to same sex partnes, this must be like "the perfect crime" , nobody would never suspect about their afair because everyone think is gay

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I'm sure this happens more often than we think

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By *amperguyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm bi and pretty much take everyone as they come, obviously not everyone is into me as I'm an ugly old git that's a bit overweight but I can live with that .

There is one group on here that I don't get and it's the guys that say straight on their profile but message gay or bi guys for sex , do they ne see themselves as bi or at least curious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?

It's possible, a gay female friend of mine told me that many gay people don't really like bi people, that surprised me as you'd have thought a group who'd been discriminated against wouldn't really discriminate themselves. "

That is lesbians NOT gay men, please stop conflating. I have never in decades come across gay men who have a problem with bi men, although I know a lot of gay men have been used by bi men. Glad I am on these boards see so much crap posted about gay men

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Yes. Bi folks are the unwanted step child of the LGBTQ community in many circles and some of the worst abuse I’ve had has been from gay guys.

Many think that bi folks have ‘passing privilege’ or aren’t queer enough. Others think that we’re just passing through or can’t make our minds up.

Stigma is a human thing, not a sexuality thing and comes from all sides sadly.

It’s not seen on here really but in LGBTQ spaces or apps, it’s definitely there

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?

It's possible, a gay female friend of mine told me that many gay people don't really like bi people, that surprised me as you'd have thought a group who'd been discriminated against wouldn't really discriminate themselves.

That is lesbians NOT gay men, please stop conflating. I have never in decades come across gay men who have a problem with bi men, although I know a lot of gay men have been used by bi men. Glad I am on these boards see so much crap posted about gay men "

Perhaps is down to where you are? I’ve seen a lot of this sort of thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?

It's possible, a gay female friend of mine told me that many gay people don't really like bi people, that surprised me as you'd have thought a group who'd been discriminated against wouldn't really discriminate themselves.

That is lesbians NOT gay men, please stop conflating. I have never in decades come across gay men who have a problem with bi men, although I know a lot of gay men have been used by bi men. Glad I am on these boards see so much crap posted about gay men

Perhaps is down to where you are? I’ve seen a lot of this sort of thing"

Nope, I lived up north for over 3 years and again never saw it up there. I think what is happening here is one bad apple pops up, a bi person gets hysterical and starts spreading what they experienced. I am telling you I have been all over, met many people over the years and this is not a problem.

But what I am noticing, are many bi men refusing romantic relationships and dates with gay men who want more than sex. Gay men are used purely as sex objects. On another note, many bi men on here state ‘no gay men’ on their profiles. So who exactly has the problem with who?

I personally am not bothered, everyone has preferences like I do, I am simply pointing out at a wider level

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes. Bi folks are the unwanted step child of the LGBTQ community in many circles and some of the worst abuse I’ve had has been from gay guys.

Many think that bi folks have ‘passing privilege’ or aren’t queer enough. Others think that we’re just passing through or can’t make our minds up.

Stigma is a human thing, not a sexuality thing and comes from all sides sadly.

It’s not seen on here really but in LGBTQ spaces or apps, it’s definitely there"

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?

It's possible, a gay female friend of mine told me that many gay people don't really like bi people, that surprised me as you'd have thought a group who'd been discriminated against wouldn't really discriminate themselves.

That is lesbians NOT gay men, please stop conflating. I have never in decades come across gay men who have a problem with bi men, although I know a lot of gay men have been used by bi men. Glad I am on these boards see so much crap posted about gay men

Perhaps is down to where you are? I’ve seen a lot of this sort of thing

Nope, I lived up north for over 3 years and again never saw it up there. I think what is happening here is one bad apple pops up, a bi person gets hysterical and starts spreading what they experienced. I am telling you I have been all over, met many people over the years and this is not a problem.

But what I am noticing, are many bi men refusing romantic relationships and dates with gay men who want more than sex. Gay men are used purely as sex objects. On another note, many bi men on here state ‘no gay men’ on their profiles. So who exactly has the problem with who?

I personally am not bothered, everyone has preferences like I do, I am simply pointing out at a wider level "

I think the title of the thread is very different , OP asked about Gay man that have sex with a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes. Bi folks are the unwanted step child of the LGBTQ community in many circles and some of the worst abuse I’ve had has been from gay guys.

Many think that bi folks have ‘passing privilege’ or aren’t queer enough. Others think that we’re just passing through or can’t make our minds up.

Stigma is a human thing, not a sexuality thing and comes from all sides sadly.

It’s not seen on here really but in LGBTQ spaces or apps, it’s definitely there"

Have you seem how rude bi men are on the apps on their profiles to gay men? Considering I have been around gay people since 1996 and NEVER seem or discussed this with so many people, it makes me wonder exactly why it keeps happening to you as an individual. Are you doing something? The multiple bi men I have met over the years that are respectful they have never experienced it either. So something not adding up here?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"Probably not because there’s no stigma attached to being straight "

Clearly never spent time with some of the extremes of alternative lifestyles.

C

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By *illingVicMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks


"Yes. Bi folks are the unwanted step child of the LGBTQ community in many circles and some of the worst abuse I’ve had has been from gay guys.

Many think that bi folks have ‘passing privilege’ or aren’t queer enough. Others think that we’re just passing through or can’t make our minds up.

Stigma is a human thing, not a sexuality thing and comes from all sides sadly.

It’s not seen on here really but in LGBTQ spaces or apps, it’s definitely there

Have you seem how rude bi men are on the apps on their profiles to gay men? Considering I have been around gay people since 1996 and NEVER seem or discussed this with so many people, it makes me wonder exactly why it keeps happening to you as an individual. Are you doing something? The multiple bi men I have met over the years that are respectful they have never experienced it either. So something not adding up here?"

I use the Bi label as everyone loves labels (although I don’t like it). I’m always super respectful of all partners - at least I try to be.

That said, as a masculine presenting, CIS man - just a bit of a bent, kinky one - I can confirm that of all the hatred I’ve ever received, probably 80-90% of it has come from either gay men or straight women. Not that I get much, especially now I’m not really playing the field - but it does colour my own interactions somewhat

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By *iss_Cali_xxCouple
over a year ago

Herne Bay


"Yes. Bi folks are the unwanted step child of the LGBTQ community in many circles and some of the worst abuse I’ve had has been from gay guys.

Many think that bi folks have ‘passing privilege’ or aren’t queer enough. Others think that we’re just passing through or can’t make our minds up.

Stigma is a human thing, not a sexuality thing and comes from all sides sadly.

It’s not seen on here really but in LGBTQ spaces or apps, it’s definitely there"

Exactly this! I didn't come out for years (except to my husband) because of comments I'd heard both gay and straight people say about other bi girls, like "she's just greedy" or "she's not really bi she's just saying it for attention" or "being bi means she's probably a cheater" or "she's not really bi, she's got a boyfriend", or "she's got a girlfriend so she's probably too scared to say she's gay" etc etc etc. There is no amount of 'passing privilege' that stops these comments affecting how you feel about yourself. If you say you're gay, people accept it. If you say you're bi, they try to convince you otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've pretty much put any negativity generated towards me by anyone of any race, creed, color, gender or group as being because I'm awkward, petty, anoying and rude.

I don't usually assume it's them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If gay people are so bad apparently as many of you are desperately trying to paint, why have you found and sought out shelter with us for endless decades? Last time I checked there was a ‘B’ in the string of letters, why is that there is we are so awful and remains there….

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"If gay people are so bad apparently as many of you are desperately trying to paint, why have you found and sought out shelter with us for endless decades? Last time I checked there was a ‘B’ in the string of letters, why is that there is we are so awful and remains there…."

I think the answers in this thread they are out of the context looking at the thread title and OP question !

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By *illingVicMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks


"If gay people are so bad apparently as many of you are desperately trying to paint, why have you found and sought out shelter with us for endless decades? Last time I checked there was a ‘B’ in the string of letters, why is that there is we are so awful and remains there…."

Don’t get me wrong, buddy. Although I can’t speak for others in this thread, for me it’s like 0.000001% of my interactions. I get that it may seem like an attack but it’s really not - I was just pointing out an interesting statistic!

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"you hear on fab about 'straight guys' who are secretly bi.but are there any gay guys on here who are secretly bi but havent told their partner? Would it end their relationship?"

These are the questions from the OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If gay people are so bad apparently as many of you are desperately trying to paint, why have you found and sought out shelter with us for endless decades? Last time I checked there was a ‘B’ in the string of letters, why is that there is we are so awful and remains there….

Don’t get me wrong, buddy. Although I can’t speak for others in this thread, for me it’s like 0.000001% of my interactions. I get that it may seem like an attack but it’s really not - I was just pointing out an interesting statistic!"

Just have a read of bi mens profiles on here and traditionally gay apps, you will see there is a much wider spread problem of the attitude to gay men from bi than other way round. But as an assertive no bullshit voice on here, I am always happy to speak up

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Just chill out the questions from the OP are very simple and clear same as the thread title, but the answers are just out of context

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just chill out the questions from the OP are very simple and clear same as the thread title, but the answers are just out of context "

Do T-Girls chill out when crap is spouted on here? Some things need pulling up. I see too much crap on here about gay men, it has to be challenged. I am not a flag waver or activist, I hate overt political correctness BUT damaging untruths being spouted do make me speak up

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I have no idea if they chill out or not. Myself yes i do just chill out . Now again read the thread title and the OP questions .

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I would think that if you were gay and told your partner it wouldn’t do the relationship much good no!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I would think that if you were gay and told your partner it wouldn’t do the relationship much good no! "

I read that wrong didn’t I

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm straight and secretly straight...don't tell anyone

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I'm straight and secretly straight...don't tell anyone "

I’m bi but I don’t tell anyone. None of their business.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"I'm straight and secretly straight...don't tell anyone "

Who cares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no idea if they chill out or not. Myself yes i do just chill out . Now again read the thread title and the OP questions . "

It was not me that took it off subject, I was not challenging the OP’s thread itself but rather comments of other people who took it off subject, read the whole thread…

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I'm straight and secretly straight...don't tell anyone

Who cares "
you don't obviously

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"I have no idea if they chill out or not. Myself yes i do just chill out . Now again read the thread title and the OP questions .

It was not me that took it off subject, I was not challenging the OP’s thread itself but rather comments of other people who took it off subject, read the whole thread… "

That's what i mentioned before , the answers in this thread didn't match the thread title and the the OP questions

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"I'm straight and secretly straight...don't tell anyone

Who cares you don't obviously "

Obviously not

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"I have no idea if they chill out or not. Myself yes i do just chill out . Now again read the thread title and the OP questions .

It was not me that took it off subject, I was not challenging the OP’s thread itself but rather comments of other people who took it off subject, read the whole thread… "

Ypu would be invalidating people's own lived experiences with your own ourage though and that doesn't make you right at all. Not everyone is like you so you can't say what happened with others. We all see the homophobia in culture but less seen is biphobia and straightphobia as well even though it has been hinted at with TV shows.

C

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I've turned a couple of gay men straight

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Yes. Bi folks are the unwanted step child of the LGBTQ community in many circles and some of the worst abuse I’ve had has been from gay guys.

Many think that bi folks have ‘passing privilege’ or aren’t queer enough. Others think that we’re just passing through or can’t make our minds up.

Stigma is a human thing, not a sexuality thing and comes from all sides sadly.

It’s not seen on here really but in LGBTQ spaces or apps, it’s definitely there

Have you seem how rude bi men are on the apps on their profiles to gay men? Considering I have been around gay people since 1996 and NEVER seem or discussed this with so many people, it makes me wonder exactly why it keeps happening to you as an individual. Are you doing something? The multiple bi men I have met over the years that are respectful they have never experienced it either. So something not adding up here?"

So you’re implying that I’m inviting abuse from gay men?

Perhaps you should respect my experience and accept that it’s a wider issue, as many others have experienced as well, than just dismissing it because it doesn’t fit your narrative.

I’m not denying that what you’re saying isn’t true but the issue isn’t just one way, far from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/05/22 18:14:36]

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"If gay people are so bad apparently as many of you are desperately trying to paint, why have you found and sought out shelter with us for endless decades? Last time I checked there was a ‘B’ in the string of letters, why is that there is we are so awful and remains there…."

Seeking shelter with you?!

What does that mean exactly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a bi women when im in the mood for fem on fem its gay clubs or gay night ...ive never not been welcomed and most of the women ive slept with are gay women yes im sure there are some but ive never come across any and been doing gay clubs as a bi woman since i was 18yrs old ..

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I have no idea if they chill out or not. Myself yes i do just chill out . Now again read the thread title and the OP questions .

It was not me that took it off subject, I was not challenging the OP’s thread itself but rather comments of other people who took it off subject, read the whole thread…

Ypu would be invalidating people's own lived experiences with your own ourage though and that doesn't make you right at all. Not everyone is like you so you can't say what happened with others. We all see the homophobia in culture but less seen is biphobia and straightphobia as well even though it has been hinted at with TV shows.

C "

Exactly this.

No one is attacking anyone personally, instead stating their own experiences, as I have

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