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Expectations

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Is the expectation on guys to meet the demands of women or is it a two way thing?

Do we get so hung up on what women want that reciprocity gets forgotten?

Please note, this isn’t my view or making accusations, just a discussion point

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

Definitely a two way thing...theres someone for everyone but it has to work for all concerned.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Oh it’s got to be a balance, give and take - there’s joy in both sides, let’s have all the joy!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't make demands and I wouldn't meet anyone who would make demands of me either.

As far as I'm concerned there should be mutual respect and mutual pleasure.If any meet or chat is all about what one person wants then it's not worth the bother as far as I'm concerned anyhow.

I don't understand why anyone would jump through hoops or do something they feel uncomfortable with just to get a meet off here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

From what I see the expectation is that men must meet the expectations of couples and women. My personal feelings are that it's a two way street but...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have demands. I have things I like and I would like the things I like.

One of those things is for the guy to like me for me, so if I'm not for him then he isn't for me.

This made more sense in my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't think either side should be making demands of anyone. Profiles that have a long list of demands are off putting to say the least and they never usually say what they bring to the table. Yes we all are allowed to have prefrences but expecting people to change who they are or jump through hoops shows more about the person demanding than the person jumping.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"From what I see the expectation is that men must meet the expectations of couples and women. My personal feelings are that it's a two way street but..."

That's how most profiles read. Buyers market, I suppose

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it can get skewed one way or the other. I also think there's a degree of false advertising - I promise to be all the things to get to meet you. (Not a specific accusation. Just online there is often manipulation) Plus false expectations, even with the best of intentions.

I try not to worry too much about it - be who I can be, look out for myself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"From what I see the expectation is that men must meet the expectations of couples and women. My personal feelings are that it's a two way street but...

That's how most profiles read. Buyers market, I suppose "

Yep but the sellers enable it. Withdraw the goods and the balance evens up.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Personally I don't think either side should be making demands of anyone. Profiles that have a long list of demands are off putting to say the least and they never usually say what they bring to the table. Yes we all are allowed to have prefrences but expecting people to change who they are or jump through hoops shows more about the person demanding than the person jumping. "

It makes me wonder what the difference is between a preference, a limit, and a demand.

I won't meet smokers or vapers, for example. The residue makes me ill. Maybe that's a demand. I don't think so, and anyone who thinks otherwise can pass me by. But I've received my share of pushback for being unreasonable.

I don't think most things are unreasonable per se. (I also think that you don't have to overtly list things on your profile to be demanding)

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Might be the case for the hot women, but I get a fair amount of contact from guys who think I should just be grateful for their notice and glad to give them a blow job with no thought at all to my desires.

As far as I'm concerned it's only fun if both of us have fun. If my partner isn't enjoying himself then I find it hard to enjoy myself.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Might be the case for the hot women, but I get a fair amount of contact from guys who think I should just be grateful for their notice and glad to give them a blow job with no thought at all to my desires.

As far as I'm concerned it's only fun if both of us have fun. If my partner isn't enjoying himself then I find it hard to enjoy myself."

Yeah, I think demanding exists across genders. What happens in public versus in private is often very different.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If someone doesn't like something or someone, gender has little to do with reason for that dislike. It's more a meh or objection to something you've heard or seen that stops or puts you off.

What people want is vastly different to what people like... fit bod but self obsessed kind of thing... Great personality but bad teeth?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think we all have expectations, some have unrealistic ones and will ultimately only end up dissapointing themselves.

I know I'm fussy and fickle and complicated when it comes to meeting and that mostly results in me not even attempting to. Fab keeps turning and people continue to meet regardless of my participation.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"From what I see the expectation is that men must meet the expectations of couples and women. My personal feelings are that it's a two way street but...

That's how most profiles read. Buyers market, I suppose

Yep but the sellers enable it. Withdraw the goods and the balance evens up."

Sometimes the market is full of fakes and time wasters too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are profiles on here where it looks like it comes across as a list of demands and it's all about them with no interest in what you may actually want out of it.

They are in the minority though and my experience on here is most are very much interested in what you also want, it's less demands and more preference

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"

It makes me wonder what the difference is between a preference, a limit, and a demand."

To me preferences are what you like and enjoy. Demanding is telling someone they have to meet you at a certain place or time with no alternative ,or that they have to be the one who travels the whole way or pays .That they want certain things to happen at a meet even if it makes the other person uncomfortable.Things like this are what I think the difference between what someone's preference is and someone making demands.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"

It makes me wonder what the difference is between a preference, a limit, and a demand.

To me preferences are what you like and enjoy. Demanding is telling someone they have to meet you at a certain place or time with no alternative ,or that they have to be the one who travels the whole way or pays .That they want certain things to happen at a meet even if it makes the other person uncomfortable.Things like this are what I think the difference between what someone's preference is and someone making demands.

"

Some profiles read like a catalogue

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I think society is so caught up on men meeting women demands, women have forgotten that they need to try too.

Far too often women complain about not being able to find a suitable man, and it’s mainly blamed on the lack of suitable men.

The reality is that there’s plenty of suitable men, and they aren’t going to settle for a woman that’s not trying.

I think if both sides. Men and women. Focued more on what they have to offer, rather then what they want, both sides would be happier. Lots of people demanding a lot while offering very little

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I go out of my way to find out what pleases any woman I’m meeting. I get a buzz out of giving them pleasure. I tend to meet women of a similar mindset so never had a problem with reciprocation.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Absolutely a two way thing in my world.

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By *heArrowsCouple
over a year ago

We have met women and couples at socials and had a laugh and a flirt with them and when we checked out their profiles we couldn't match up the profiles to the people. Also we have met single guys who were very vocal on fab or kik in the build up to socials or clubs but couldn't be found on the day of said event.

I think couples and single women have standards (or demands) that they display on their profiles use to filter through the people who look at them.

I think single guys also have standards that they don't necessarily show on their profiles but most certainly apply when they are choosing people to talk to on here and especially at socials or clubs.

No one wants to "meet" people they are not attracted to. Of course we filter and exclude the people who we don't want when we are talking *theoretically*.

When you actually physically meet people and make a connection then you make decisions on the fly and filters can go out the window.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Not for me it isn’t , I would hope they enjoy it and often take pleasure and make efforts so that they do, but demands no , that’s earned. I wouldn’t demand anything myself either. In a relationship is different , I make huge demands , and give back equally.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Is the expectation on guys to meet the demands of women or is it a two way thing?

Do we get so hung up on what women want that reciprocity gets forgotten?

Please note, this isn’t my view or making accusations, just a discussion point "

Definitely a two way thing.

If anyone things otherwise they're a duck and if any guy allows his enjoyment and preferences to be altered just to get a meet then he's doing himself a dis-service.

As it also is with couples.

Single guys and girls aren't a plaything for then and their enjoyment, preferences, boundaries and desires are equally important.

Do people treat others unequally and consider themselves better than others on here? Yes. Sad but true. But it only affects you if you let it and allow yourself to be treated as a lesser fabber just to get your dick wet.

A

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By *heArrowsCouple
over a year ago

A lot of single guys use the fishing technique to find women or couples who might be interested. When they get a nibble THEN they apply a filter.

We lost count of how many times we got " you are beautiful" messages we got when we were displaying no photos displaying any beauty.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Is the expectation on guys to meet the demands of women or is it a two way thing?

Do we get so hung up on what women want that reciprocity gets forgotten?

Please note, this isn’t my view or making accusations, just a discussion point

Definitely a two way thing.

If anyone thinks otherwise they're a dick and if any guy allows his enjoyment and preferences to be altered just to get a meet then he's doing himself a dis-service.

As it also is with couples.

Single guys and girls aren't a plaything for them and their enjoyment, preferences, boundaries and desires are equally important.

Do people treat others unequally and consider themselves better than others on here? Yes. Sad but true. But it only affects you if you let it and allow yourself to be treated as a lesser fabber just to get your dick wet.

A"

Typos corrected.

God I wish you could just edit posts when frigging auto-carrot kicks in.

A

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I just apologise for not being able to cater for the long list of unattainable requirements

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"A lot of single guys use the fishing technique to find women or couples who might be interested. When they get a nibble THEN they apply a filter.

We lost count of how many times we got " you are beautiful" messages we got when we were displaying no photos displaying any beauty."

I was the most beautiful woman on Fab almost every other message, when I had no pictures up

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"We have met women and couples at socials and had a laugh and a flirt with them and when we checked out their profiles we couldn't match up the profiles to the people. Also we have met single guys who were very vocal on fab or kik in the build up to socials or clubs but couldn't be found on the day of said event.

I think couples and single women have standards (or demands) that they display on their profiles use to filter through the people who look at them.

I think single guys also have standards that they don't necessarily show on their profiles but most certainly apply when they are choosing people to talk to on here and especially at socials or clubs.

No one wants to "meet" people they are not attracted to. Of course we filter and exclude the people who we don't want when we are talking *theoretically*.

When you actually physically meet people and make a connection then you make decisions on the fly and filters can go out the window. "

I was thinking something similar regarding guys. I’m inclined to think that women and couples are often very demonstrative about what they want, whereas guys will be quiet and apply those preferences and wants with minimum fuss. I don’t have a list of things that I’m looking for on my profile, do I have them and apply them? Absolutely!

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By *heArrowsCouple
over a year ago

Here is the thing. If someone has no standards at all, how would I feel about them wanting to have sex with me?

Standards are so important. And if someone chooses to enforce these standards in a demand that's their right. I'm a big fan of power dynamics so I don't see anything wrong with it.

Does it make people look unflattering in a certain light, yes.

Does it make them look arrogant, self centered and aloof ... yes.

Does it mean they arrogant, self centered and aloof ... no.

And all actions have consequences. Maybe they are missing out on great experiences with people but maybe they are also missing out on bad experiences with people.

As always my opinion is that fab is a great tool but it's limited compared to actual socials, parties and events.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think society is so caught up on men meeting women demands, women have forgotten that they need to try too.

Far too often women complain about not being able to find a suitable man, and it’s mainly blamed on the lack of suitable men.

The reality is that there’s plenty of suitable men, and they aren’t going to settle for a woman that’s not trying.

I think if both sides. Men and women. Focued more on what they have to offer, rather then what they want, both sides would be happier. Lots of people demanding a lot while offering very little "

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"I think society is so caught up on men meeting women demands, women have forgotten that they need to try too.

Far too often women complain about not being able to find a suitable man, and it’s mainly blamed on the lack of suitable men.

The reality is that there’s plenty of suitable men, and they aren’t going to settle for a woman that’s not trying.

I think if both sides. Men and women. Focued more on what they have to offer, rather then what they want, both sides would be happier. Lots of people demanding a lot while offering very little "

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By *hisStagsVixenCouple
over a year ago

peterborough

I’ve read a lot of couples profiles (and single womens) who are very demanding and come across as arrogant and self entitled. They seem to think (when searching for) single men especially should bow down to their every demand.

Whilst knowing what you want isn’t a bad thing, remembering that the person you are potentially meeting with will have their own desires and wants is so important to us. We’d never assume that it’s all about us and always are respectful of making sure everyone’s needs are met. I’d hate to think that a guy felt they don’t have a say in what happens at our encounter. This is meant to be fun and enjoyable for all involved.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Once we're all in person, we're all equals.

Before that, yes it can be more complicated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve read a lot of couples profiles (and single womens) who are very demanding and come across as arrogant and self entitled. They seem to think (when searching for) single men especially should bow down to their every demand.

Whilst knowing what you want isn’t a bad thing, remembering that the person you are potentially meeting with will have their own desires and wants is so important to us. We’d never assume that it’s all about us and always are respectful of making sure everyone’s needs are met. I’d hate to think that a guy felt they don’t have a say in what happens at our encounter. This is meant to be fun and enjoyable for all involved. "

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

[Removed by poster at 21/05/22 12:15:03]

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Here is the thing. If someone has no standards at all, how would I feel about them wanting to have sex with me?

Standards are so important. And if someone chooses to enforce these standards in a demand that's their right. I'm a big fan of power dynamics so I don't see anything wrong with it.

Does it make people look unflattering in a certain light, yes.

Does it make them look arrogant, self centered and aloof ... yes.

Does it mean they arrogant, self centered and aloof ... no.

And all actions have consequences. Maybe they are missing out on great experiences with people but maybe they are also missing out on bad experiences with people.

As always my opinion is that fab is a great tool but it's limited compared to actual socials, parties and events. "

Having standards is not the same though as making demands on others.

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By *heArrowsCouple
over a year ago


"Here is the thing. If someone has no standards at all, how would I feel about them wanting to have sex with me?

Standards are so important. And if someone chooses to enforce these standards in a demand that's their right. I'm a big fan of power dynamics so I don't see anything wrong with it.

Does it make people look unflattering in a certain light, yes.

Does it make them look arrogant, self centered and aloof ... yes.

Does it mean they arrogant, self centered and aloof ... no.

And all actions have consequences. Maybe they are missing out on great experiences with people but maybe they are also missing out on bad experiences with people.

As always my opinion is that fab is a great tool but it's limited compared to actual socials, parties and events.

Having standards is not the same though as making demands on others."

I agree completely. I don't do well with people making demands of me.

I tend not interact with demanding people on here or in real life. And I certainly don't ever give in to demands made of me on here. On principle.

I don't think we met at any socials but I'm positive that you know people who come across demanding on here but are actually lovely and laid back in person.

Being demanding isn't a good look. But it's a personal choice they make on here. So they get to exist with the consequences

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