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Justification(s) for dumping a lover.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Your work mates don't half sound like pricks from the stories you tell about them.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

6 months....very gracious of you

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By *reamblueMan
over a year ago

London

Way too much going on here

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Your work mates don't half sound like pricks from the stories you tell about them. "

I was just about to say the same thing

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"6 months....very gracious of you"

So generous

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

And she's getting rid of a bellend so win win.

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "

A life time wouldn't shift the judgemental attitude in this post

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Unbelievable opener again ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There must be at least 50 ways to do this....

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney

I don't know where to start...so many wrong things in such a short story...

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Charming as ever I see…

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

"

Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There must be at least 50 ways to do this...."

Just jump in a lake, Blake

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

Are these things actually serious or is someone just taking the piss?

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it "

Guilty feeder here.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

I want to work where he works for the conversations.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow.

P.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That way of thinking will never lead to a happy man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it "

Exactly! I'm my skinniest when I'm single. Men seem to eat larger portions...or at least the men I've known.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"I want to work where he works for the conversations..... "

…and getting paid for talking all this shite!

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol


"I want to work where he works for the conversations.....

…and getting paid for talking all this shite! "

...not thought of that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I want to work where he works for the conversations.....

…and getting paid for talking all this shite! "

It's what we talk about... And many other things.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"There must be at least 50 ways to do this...."

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

Just wow

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

If he’s unhappy, simply break it off. No need to make her feel worse than she already does.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

He sounds like a really top guy

Could he have not gone on regular long walks with her and had epic long sex sessions to see if that helped and not been a prick about it?

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Genuinely curious what OP does for work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone said to me I'll give you six months to lose your builders belly, I'd bounce them out the door with the belly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone said to me I'll give you six months to lose your builders belly, I'd bounce them out the door with the belly "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Genuinely curious what OP does for work "

I'm a builders social consultant.

Just kidding.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He sounds like a really top guy

Could he have not gone on regular long walks with her and had epic long sex sessions to see if that helped and not been a prick about it? "

Exactly! Both work on it. She can loose it. If she wants.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Genuinely curious what OP does for work "

.................................

Tory Party Central Office

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "
Seriously do you get any work done ? Between fighting and gossiping your workmates sound like right pricks ..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "

I really wanted to comment by my menopause mood muzzle won’t allow me… I will say in six months I’d have ditched the average male body weight… YOU.. with an ultimatum like that. Be thankful for the muzzle I could have been worse

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Being an arse is a genuine reason for setting someone free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want to work where he works for the conversations.....

…and getting paid for talking all this shite!

It's what we talk about... And many other things. "

Probably why my Hermes parcels are always late

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Does he have a washboard belly?

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

A relationship with conditions attached. Nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What bellends!!!

Clearly those mates are perfection, personified

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would ask the colleague what if the guy gains weight... would that be sufficient reason to dump him on the spot?

For clarification, I think it is ludicrous to attach conditions to a relationship. Whatever happened to acceptance of the person as a whole?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "

'one of' so he has spares then?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?"
I picked up on that as well.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is anyone else imagining OP with at the 6 month mark speaking to his girlfriend with the results in front of him like some sort of appraisal?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change "

I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change

I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then."

Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that

As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just fuck her back into shape? But for real.. your mate sounds like a loser.. she's definitely better off.

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change

I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then.

Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that

As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution "

I doubt there is anybody out there who has gained weight without realising it, nobody needs it pointing out to them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change

I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then.

Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that

As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution

I doubt there is anybody out there who has gained weight without realising it, nobody needs it pointing out to them"

I’d disagree. Plenty of people join the gym because they didn’t realise they slowly put on 20lbs over 3 years

But that’s not the question in hand. Execution is key. If a girl told me she loved it when I had a 6 pack I wouldn’t consider that an “ultimatum” and leave her. I’d take that as a challenge to be by best self for my partner

Execution and perspective are everything

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it.

'one of' so he has spares then? "

Of course he has spares. He's a modern man.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it.

'one of' so he has spares then?

Of course he has spares. He's a modern man. "

Do they know about the others?

If he has so many I wonder why he's bothering to give her a chance. Maybe she sucks cock the best.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuinely curious what OP does for work

.................................

Tory Party Central Office"

Meal planner for weight watchers?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really want to comment as honestly and as bluntly as I can to you, but you are not worth the forums ban.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuinely curious what OP does for work

.................................

Tory Party Central Office

Meal planner for weight watchers? "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?"

Omg seen it all now. You do remember what website this is? I know most think it is a dating app, but the name?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?"

Enough to pick and choose which to keep and discard the shabby ones evidently

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change

I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then.

Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that

As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution

I doubt there is anybody out there who has gained weight without realising it, nobody needs it pointing out to them

I’d disagree. Plenty of people join the gym because they didn’t realise they slowly put on 20lbs over 3 years

But that’s not the question in hand. Execution is key. If a girl told me she loved it when I had a 6 pack I wouldn’t consider that an “ultimatum” and leave her. I’d take that as a challenge to be by best self for my partner

Execution and perspective are everything "

Could you get one in 6 months, assuming you'd let yourself go and had a beer belly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?I picked up on that as well. "

The farce is strong in this one!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Hang on a sec "ONE of his lovers"? How many does he have?

Enough to pick and choose which to keep and discard the shabby ones evidently "

I'm so glad my buddies aren't bothered I've got really fat I need 6 years to lose the weight I've put on in the last 12 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best weight that lady could lose is her dead beat "lover".

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

And she's getting rid of a bellend so win win. "

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? "

It's a tough question. But true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All people are different

All lady’s

All gents

I have always preferred larger lady’s

If you’re mates example is anything to go by

He will be masturbating all his life

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

"

Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? "

Realistically though most folk don't end up 600lbs though. It's more likely to be a few stone or more, at which point of course peoples bodies look different. But they'll still be able to get around unassisted. Massive weight gain is usually due to something underlying anyways,from medication to depression. Somebody would have to be a right knobhead to bin someone off after years together if they gained weight due to something they couldn't control

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months? "

I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

This post is so wrong in so many ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?

I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?"

You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?

Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? "

When I put on 9 stone very quickly my ex said it came with a bonus. Huge tits.

He also said no one would want me now I was fat.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I can't wait for your next thread.

Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?

I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?

You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?

Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance? "

I said if I was in his shoes I'd give her 6 months. If I was in his dilemma.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"I can't wait for your next thread.

Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it."

I think if there’s a chance of it winding people up then he’ll do it

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

She had a lucky escape.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?

I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?

You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?

Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance?

I said if I was in his shoes I'd give her 6 months. If I was in his dilemma. "

My apologies. I thought it was just your friend who was the c***. I stand corrected.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "
I'd give q guy about 6seconds to leave if they said anything like that to me. It would be no loss on my part

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People get older, bodies change, it's all a bit superficial to dump someone because they look a bit different. (Some) women have babies, their bodies change, do you give them 6 months to lose the baby weight or you're off?

Surely it would be only fair to give 9 months?

I was trying to be generous with 6 months (realistically 4), but you want 9?!?!?

You gave 6? I thought this lady was your friends lover not yours?

Is her name in fact Palmela by any chance?

I said if I was in his shoes I'd give her 6 months. If I was in his dilemma.

My apologies. I thought it was just your friend who was the c***. I stand corrected. "

Hey go easy there. I do have feelings you know.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Not his fault if he loses attraction for her because she chose to let her physical appearance change

I think many people including me have an issue with the suggestion of "giving somebody 6 months" to change. My response to an ultimatum of any kind would be one of ending it there and then.

Some would argue that letting a loved one know their physique has slipped and trying to help is a great thing to do. Cruel to be kind and all that

As with most things, execution is key and “6 months to lose the belly or I’m gone fatty” isn’t the right execution "
Agreed

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Give her 6 months to lose it .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I smell bullshit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they would leave me, I would instantly lose a few unwanted stones by telling them to do one!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs? "

Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I smell bullshit "

I was thinking the same thing

Ask me again in six months though

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they would leave me, I would instantly lose a few unwanted stones by telling them to do one! "

Bosch!!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs?

Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. "

I'm thinking they'd be offed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Clickbait!

Round of applause for the, op.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Clickbait!

Round of applause for the, op."

How do you know that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Luck escape for her by the sound of it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ylonloverxxMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I can't wait for your next thread.

Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it."

He could get a wig..... as long as she ain't into pulling hair

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I can't wait for your next thread.

Can you do one about a man going bald and his girlfriend giving him 6 months to do something about it.

He could get a wig..... as long as she ain't into pulling hair "

Hair plugs.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quickest way to lose weight is to drop the arsehole who's trying to make me lose it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"Quickest way to lose weight is to drop the arsehole who's trying to make me lose it. "

x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they would leave me, I would instantly lose a few unwanted stones by telling them to do one!

Bosch!!!!"

Keep away from Make-eta

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter


"Clickbait!

Round of applause for the, op.

How do you know that?"

You seriously believing a word of it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs?

Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. "

In this instance i’m referring solely to self

Inflicted damage over a protracted period - rather than something unforeseen or over which there is no control. Akin to alcoholism or long term substance abuse. Not the misfortune of an accident of otherwise ill health.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Clickbait!

Round of applause for the, op.

How do you know that?

You seriously believing a word of it?"

Yes as I have reason to believe its not true.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

A lot of women just need a bit of a nudge every now and then, gets them back on track and helps to keep them focused.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

And she's getting rid of a bellend so win win. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford


"I really want to comment as honestly and as bluntly as I can to you, but you are not worth the forums ban. "

I’m hi5 this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *Latina_SirCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere between borders

And then they wonder..lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preferences are frowned upon here, OP

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Preferences are frowned upon here, OP "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Preferences are frowned upon here, OP "

Ooooh I'm not getting dragged into this. Staying neutral. Just like Sweden and Finland.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. "

Honestly do you really think they mean that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. "

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level "

Food before men.

Always.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level "

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. "

.................................

I don't think issuing ultimatums is the way to go about it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner. "

.................................

It's interesting to see how many men, given the chance to accept their partner's for who they are or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon. "

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"Serious question though - where do you draw the lone? If someone refuses to look after their health and continues to gain weight year after year…. Do you hang around to push them about or get them one of those leccy chairs?

Alright, Officer Crabtree. What if this hypothetical lover ends up needing a "leccy chair" or "pushing about" for other reasons? Where do you draw the line? Disability happens. "

I was just thinking the same thing

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that. "

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

.................................

I don't think issuing ultimatums is the way to go about it "

I think 'ultimatum' really isn't the appropriate word.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? "

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. "

I wasn’t specifically talking about any ultimatum

Is that the issue? If there wasn’t the “6 month or in gone” would it still be relationship ending?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending? "

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want. "

I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are?

'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves"

Oh, and losing weight is absolutely not comparable to changing your clothes or cutting your hair, it’s bloody hard work and often has all sorts of emotional and psychological ties involved that make it really hard to do

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want.

I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are?

'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves"

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want.

I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are?

'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild. "

I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/22 07:08:37]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want.

I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are?

'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild.

I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight)"

This girl drove to weight watchers when it was walking distance and she lived on chocolate and spam.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want.

I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are?

'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild.

I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight)

This girl drove to weight watchers when it was walking distance and she lived on chocolate and spam. "

Is she still single? I'll marry her.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Clickbait!

Round of applause for the, op.

How do you know that?

You seriously believing a word of it?"
I don’t the green arrow plus his last accounts puts my bullshit meter on high alert ..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

No it's not a wild assumption. He's given an ultimatum, 6 months to lose weight or he's gone. He's made his stance pretty clear.

You'd think that he finds more than just my body attractive. If its just my body then yeah, that's not the kind of person I want.

I use to know this girl and she was for ever going to weight watchers trying to loose weight. Yet her life style and diet was the root cause of it all. But no one dared tell her this. Not even her family. Which is worse to be honest and genuine or be prentious and leave them as they are?

'True friends stab you in the front not the back' . Oscar Wild.

I’m sure she was well aware of that herself. Change isn’t easy (and see my comment above about losing weight)

This girl drove to weight watchers when it was walking distance and she lived on chocolate and spam.

Is she still single? I'll marry her. "

You're welcome to her. Anyway last I knew she was straight. To be honest she wasn't bad looking just needed to sort herself out. In the nicest way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone told me I had 6 months to lose weight or they'd dump me it'd end there and then so he's probably doing the right thing.

Same here. The majority of times in my life I've gained weight, a male partner feeding me huge meals or wanting to get takeaway or treats a lot has often contributed to it

Guilty feeder here. "

One more takeaway won't hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)"

So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally?

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

[Removed by poster at 18/05/22 07:24:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own "

Imagine you're dressed in your favourite shirt and your partner says, I don't like that shirt, wear the blue one instead....

Would you still change?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)

So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally?

"

I can’t say I have, no

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Do you work in a sewing bee?

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level "

there are plenty of men who like fat ladies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)

So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally?

I can’t say I have, no "

What you've NEVER EVER dumped someone before?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been with someone who used to put on weight eating anything over 1500 calories a day and would literally have to starve herself to maintain her weight. I on the other hand can get away eating 6000-8000 a day and not put a pound on.

Plus I think if you truly love someone your attracted to them however they change physically.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own "

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)

So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally?

I can’t say I have, no

What you've NEVER EVER dumped someone before? "

No I haven’t, why’s that so surprising?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!"

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one? "

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again from what I read on theses forums, there are many preferences, no beards, to short, to tall, shaven, buff, chubby etc.

Which I read are deal breakers, to people on here, when this is brought up, the OP gets slated as everyone has a preference, and the OP has to deal with it.

Well the OP has a preference, so its our turn to deal with it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice."

Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice.

Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. "

So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice.

Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'. "

..................................

Odd, so "give her 6 months" isn't an ultimatum?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "

What sort of work do you do?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it.

What sort of work do you do? "

Diplomacy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it.

What sort of work do you do? "

Other than him trolling the Fab forums you mean?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice.

Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'.

So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to?"

Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"What a shame people with shitty attitudes towards others can’t be shamed into doing something about it (preferably in an exploitative way at a group that charges for it)

So you've not dumped someone just because you're no longer attracted to them physically and mentally?

I can’t say I have, no

What you've NEVER EVER dumped someone before? "

I've never dumped someone either.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


" Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. "

"Would come home to food from the freezer"

Had she forgotten to fix her hair, put her makeup on and get his slippers warmed by the fire?

*Checks calendar*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request "

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request "

What if they're not partners though and just shaggers. Would the protocol be different then?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice.

Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'.

So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to?

Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. "

.................................

You're right, it's not rocket science, he made a choice based on his needs, which he's perfectly entitled to do, as opposed to compelling someone to change to satisfy them.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection "

.................................

spot on

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it.

What sort of work do you do?

Other than him trolling the Fab forums you mean? "

Just trying to imagine the workplace ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your work mates don't half sound like pricks from the stories you tell about them. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection "

But there's no 'ultimatum, request, interrogation, or anything of the sort. You're twisting my words. It's implied explicitly in a roundabout way.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection

.................................

spot on"

That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.

I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that.

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection

But there's no 'ultimatum, request, interrogation, or anything of the sort. You're twisting my words. It's implied explicitly in a roundabout way. "

“Implied explicitly in a roundabout way”? What tosh that statement is

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection

.................................

spot on

That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.

I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that. "

Nobody’s shaming anybody for that, stop trying to gaslight!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/22 08:18:23]

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Its interesting to see how many women, given the chance to lose some weight or lose their partner, pick losing their partner.

Yes because love runs deeper than surface level

If it did you’d think losing a few pounds to please your partner wouldn’t be so frowned upon.

And you'd think that a partner would love you whether you put on a few pounds or not.

If he only loves me for what I look like it's empty and hollow. Don't want that.

Don’t you think it’s a bit of a wild assumption though? If you put on a green dress and he said he much prefers the blue dress, does he only love you for the blue dress? Or is he just being honest in what he finds most attractive?

I just find womens absolute disgust at the mere suggestion of change to please a partner crazy. Or is it just specifically about weight? Because I think you’d wear the blue dress for him if he loved it, but is a weight issue specifically demeaning? What about if he said he much prefer your hair long/short? Would that be relationship ending?

I’ve mentally tortured myself and been mentally tortured by others about my weight since I was a child. I went to my first slimming club when I was 11 years old because my parents and society fed me the message that being overweight means you’re not worthy of love. So yes, it is partly a weight issue, because why should any woman be forced to keep hearing that message from somebody who supposedly loves her? And actually I also don’t think she should change her dress or her hair to please anybody else either. And it’s not just women, it’s men too. Nobody should be people pleasing if what they’re doing isn’t also pleasing themselves

I disagree, I’d happily do something that doesn’t please me if it made my partner happy, especially if it wasn’t something too extreme like wearing a different shirt

I guess that’s just differences in partners though, I’m looking to make my partner happy, even if it means a few small sacrifices, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me

To each their own

.................................

You're analogy's flawed, in the OP the woman was being given 6 months to change, that's the issue!

Do you know how many people dump their lovers/partners without saying anything or explanation? No communications what so ever. Here I'm at least trying to communicate with her and offering to help her loose the tummy. Do you want a yes lover or an honest one?

..................................

I wouldn't present anyone with an ultimatum. Who/what they choose to be is a matter for them, if I'm unhappy with that then I'd make my own choice.

Anyway I never used the word 'ULTIMATUM'.

So you’re not dumping her if she decides she doesn’t want to lose weight or doesn’t manage to?

Someone I know recently left his wife because she has over the years become a potato couch. He would work and come home to food from the freezer. After so many years of trying to address the issues he had no choice but to leave. She was no longer the woman he married. He tried to help her, but she wouldn't. That is what I am saying. It's not rocket science. "
Freezer food! He should have had her arrested!..You don’t half know a lot of people ..

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"So one of my work mates was planning on dumping one of his lover's. His reason was she had put on weight and she had developed a 'builders' belly. I asked him 'why, or have you spoken to her about it before dumping her'? I mean give the poor lady a chance. Well decision was made. She was gone. I don't know its a tough one. But I would address (try) the issue (delicately) and give her 6 months to loose it. "

You’re as bad as he is for posting it in the forum!!

Have a bit more respect man

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection

.................................

spot on

That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.

I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that.

Nobody’s shaming anybody for that, stop trying to gaslight!"

People have literally said he’s a bellend, he’s dead weight, what part of that isn’t shaming?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie. "

Your deleted post was clear that it was you that gave the ultimatum not your mate. At least be honest about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie.

Your deleted post was clear that it was you that gave the ultimatum not your mate. At least be honest about it. "

I had a spelling error, that's why I deleted it. But the writing was all still the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The fact is girls are just as bad as guys for dumping. For whatever reason. I'd rather be hurt by a lover/partner because she is being truthful rather than live a lie.

Your deleted post was clear that it was you that gave the ultimatum not your mate. At least be honest about it.

I had a spelling error, that's why I deleted it. But the writing was all still the same. "

No. That's not true.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

It's pretty obvious from the later posts that it's the OP who either made this statement to a lover or has made it up with himself in mind. There's no friend involved, in our view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That girl needs a better lover

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's pretty obvious from the later posts that it's the OP who either made this statement to a lover or has made it up with himself in mind. There's no friend involved, in our view."

So you've never been dumped or dumped or known many people in similar situations? I think you need to get out of that cave you've lived in.

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"So it’s the ultimatum that’s the problem it seems?

So let’s say he says “hey I’ve noticed you put on some weight, I love you either way, but I really love it when your a little leaner, would you be happy to lose some weight for me?”

Is there any version of that situation that you’d be ok with? No ultimatum, just a request

I don’t have a problem with the observation, but I have a problem with the request, yes. You’ve put it out there with how you’re feeling which then invites reflection

.................................

spot on

That’s fair enough, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it get on the treadmill” comes to mind. The request/demand is the bit that’s not good.

I guess you can only express what you want. And leave if they aren’t giving you that. I just find it strange so many women on here would openly shame a guy for that.

Nobody’s shaming anybody for that, stop trying to gaslight!

People have literally said he’s a bellend, he’s dead weight, what part of that isn’t shaming? "

Perhaps an issue with the way I read your wording here, that was for asking her to change, not expressing a preference and then leaving, I dont think there’s any shame in the latter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of criticism of the OP's friend. Presuming the story is true.

I can't help but think if the story was about a woman dumping a guy for putting on a huge belly. The same people, or quite a few would be supportive of her. Especially the guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Google: "Hypothetical situation".

Anyway she's only one of his lovers. They're not in a relationship. No ultimatum needed, just move on to the next one.

People do that on here all the time. People for sex are disposable.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


" So you've never been dumped or dumped or known many people in similar situations? I think you need to get out of that cave you've lived in. "

Hilarious. I've not been dumped since I was about 15. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

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