FabSwingers.com forum: DMing regarding forum posts

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

As a cunning way of starting a conversation without just saying 'hey'or FAF

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

Yes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Yep ,especially when it's not even the op and one just looking for some sex chat .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes they've clicked the wrong button but it can be a bit annoying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

It's cool with me tbh you. I have filters on in any case so I don't get msgs from ppl I don't want to hear from.

As for me, very rarely do I do it tbh with you. I might do it twice for every 25 or so posts I check out lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It depends what it is and why.

I’ve had some great conversations with people based on forum threads and exchanging views.

If it’s just sexual, then I can understand the annoyance but if it’s a genuine reaction and conversation based on something that one of us has posted, then that’s the whole point of the forums.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

Yep.

Hence they get deleted.

It even says 'keep forum stuff for the forums our profile.

And it's not just men. Women and couples are often just as guilty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No ive had some really good conversations with people from them dm'ing me from forum threads.

Once they realise I absolutely have zero intentions about chatting about sex or adding them as a friend of course

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

Really annoying. I just tell them to keep it to the forum and delete.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *penJackMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

Yep! I think it's a really bad idea for a feature on the site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

If a response to a post is very specifically addressed to the writer then the only way to be sure that it is read by them is to PM it.

Otherwise it can get lost in the thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, doesn't bother me at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

No. That’s what the site is for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doesn't really bother me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a few, from both sexes, nowhere near as many as you ladies no doubt but I don’t mind it, it’s nice to see that inbox icon light up now and then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

You are never annoying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

Oh it’s terribly annoying.

Actually no it’s not.

I do it often but it will never be about trying to get sex chat or perv. Unless I know the person of course.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s all about the context and combination of are you actually messaging about the thread, that you need to talk privately about something. Or are you just trying to find a way to say hi nice xyz…

I think if you’ve not spoke before and you want to message someone on the thread a “do you mind if I DM” is fine, but don’t use it as a way of saying you look hot etc…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn’t bother me at all. Just answer, point them back to the forum or delete

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

Not really… it’s as though the site has a function for exactly that!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind it, I usually bore them to death (unintentionally) and they soon stop replying.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

It depends what they message and why.

I have to admit, I do find it almost slightly creepy when people who never post on the forum PM to reply. It’s like they’re just hovering around observing people instead of actively joining in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"
m

No. I don’t, I have my reasons

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ananabrumMan
over a year ago

castle bromwich

I've done it accidentally a few time, due to thr placement of the buttons, i go to tap reply in forum with my thumb and hit the sode of reply in private, tbh I don't think reply in private should be the first option when viewing on a phone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

Before I knew how the forum worked, I was too shy to post publicly having seen the roasting that some posters got, so responded privately to a comment made that had resonated with me and the person was polite enough but they pointed me in the direction of the forum.

There are unwritten rules here which make it difficult for those who aren't already in the know.

I don't mind relevant messages but when it's just hey wuu2, I can't help but

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends what they message and why.

I have to admit, I do find it almost slightly creepy when people who never post on the forum PM to reply. It’s like they’re just hovering around observing people instead of actively joining in.

Well would DM you anytime you wanted

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

I have no issues with receiving DM's from Forum posts.

I have made some good friends over the years as a result of such messages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

I agree with this...I've done it but not just randomly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.

Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.

Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.

Yea I pretty much agree with this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ananabrumMan
over a year ago

castle bromwich

"Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.

Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.

I 100% agree with you, Problem is a lot of members act contradictory to what their profile says. For example thr amount of "straight" guys who message me asking to suck my dick and have me fuck them.

And tbh 90% of peeps don't even bother to read a profile before messaging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

No of course not! It’s only annoying when men do it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless your profile says 'no unsolicited messages' and your filters are down i can't see the issue.

Especially if a message is polite and relevant. Easy enough to say no thanks we don't want to chat or put your filters up.

I 100% agree with you, Problem is a lot of members act contradictory to what their profile says. For example thr amount of "straight" guys who message me asking to suck my dick and have me fuck them.

And tbh 90% of peeps don't even bother to read a profile before messaging."

Fab straight guys always seem to ask to suck it and always start with "my gf would like" or "am not bi but would love to" I don't mind random PMs off the forums but please just make them more interesting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

It depends.

If its to carry on the conversation, seek or want to clarify something then sure.

But if its to carry out sex chat then they will be disappointed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Not really, I appreciate the attention regardless of who it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It depends what it is and why.

I’ve had some great conversations with people based on forum threads and exchanging views.

If it’s just sexual, then I can understand the annoyance but if it’s a genuine reaction and conversation based on something that one of us has posted, then that’s the whole point of the forums.

Exactly this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"It depends what it is and why.

I’ve had some great conversations with people based on forum threads and exchanging views.

If it’s just sexual, then I can understand the annoyance but if it’s a genuine reaction and conversation based on something that one of us has posted, then that’s the whole point of the forums.

Exactly this"

I’ve also sent messages of the back of a thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

The only time it annoys me is when someone does it so others don't see them answering me in case it pisses them off .In fact it doesn't even annoy me more makes me roll my eyes and think they need to grow up.

Other than that I've had some nice chats off here .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"The only time it annoys me is when someone does it so others don't see them answering me in case it pisses them off .In fact it doesn't even annoy me more makes me roll my eyes and think they need to grow up.

Other than that I've had some nice chats off here ."

Yeah I’ve had that a lot where people agree with something I say but don’t have the balls to post it in public. That does grind on me a bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

It’s worse with lurkers that DM you. I blocked one from doing it as he appeared to be stalking my posts!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

It depends if they message to explain in depth about what they meant then that’s fine . If for example it’s a post about favourite sexual positions and they just message to say they agree and would like to show me how good they are then yeah that’s annoying.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've had this happen a few times. Sometimes it's just general chat but others have been to agree with something I've said.

The funniest was when two women were having a full scale argument on a thread and I made a comment without quoting either of them. Within 5 mins they both messaged to thank me for agreeing with them and to tell me how nasty the other woman was and how she was not as innocent as she made out.

Putting the two messages side by side they could almost have been written by the same person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on if they a regular formite or if it’s a random unknown

Regular forumite that I see around then don’t mind

Some random no sorry don’t do that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It’s worse with lurkers that DM you. I blocked one from doing it as he appeared to be stalking my posts!

Definitely, lurkers DM-ing about forum posts just feels a bit voyeuristic, I think?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nimal007Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

I'm guessing this is more of a problem if your a single lady. We have had a few but they have always been relevant...

dosnt bother me if they are not relevant i just ignore and delete if they keep at it then block...no point in getting twisted over it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yes. Happens frequently!

Jo.Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never done it as I always thought the purpose of the forum was to communicate with each other, however, it's been nice when it's happened to me as I've had a lot of great conversations made online friends based off them messaging me on the back of a forum thread so I'm not really bothered by it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

Yep but they never really give any context.

Something like

Yeah lol I agree.

Erm..... Ok

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would do this if I was alreadt friends with someone ....

But to a random. Probs not.

There are always exceptions tho.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It's probably best to have really tight filters to avoid it happening

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

It's just happened to us right now, a lurker DM'd...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"I had a guy message from the forums after I’d posted ‘nice tits, got any arse pics?’

In two words - piss off "

However you do have a nice arse pic so maybe it worked?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I had this yesterday, I don't mind too much but would prefer it to be kept to the forums unless we are friends on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a thread about some sex act then they message because I said I was into it. It makes sense to message people who like the same things.

I find it annoying because my profile states I'm not looking for men, but they don't always check profiles. The Reply privately button just goes straight to a message so it's not their fault.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's probably best to have really tight filters to avoid it happening "

But then I wouldn't get an ego boost every time my Inbox icon turns pissy yellow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Usually I don’t mind if they’re eloquent and/or funny messages related to the forum thread. I may or may not reply depending on how bored I am.

Messages along the lines of “FAF hun” or “your (sic) so sexy hun” get deleted etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I've done a few times but not to try and... I did it to make a further comment about a thread, the way someone else is interacting with them or to answer a question they may have asked privately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arrickrealMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

I welcome it. Last few days had lots of females messaging me.

What’s the issue? Just don’t reply / delete if you don’t want the message. Nobody is a mind reader

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Most of mine are sent in error, I think, with a few as an attempted wind-up. I've had a few interesting conversations with great people but generally feel it's better to have the discussion in the forum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

Oh it’s terribly annoying.

Actually no it’s not.

I do it often but it will never be about trying to get sex chat or perv. Unless I know the person of course.

Tried reporting you about this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very tempted to DM everyone o. This thread ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit isn’t replying in private an option given when replying?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very irritating, I just delete one's with the same titles as threads.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not fussed, I’ve had some lovely conversation, and met lovely people on the back of a forum DM.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Some people seem offended by being asked about comments they glibly trot out on the forums

It's almost as if nothing they say is of any importance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s something they don’t want to say in public it’s fine. If it’s just a response that could have easily been posted in the forums then I usually don’t respond.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

If the DM is polite and or informative then it’s ok with me. I’ve had meets because people hadn’t realised I was into the thread point of discussion.

But if making a point about the thread then it should stay in the thread.

Is that difficult!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very annoying. When I remember I usually put "no pm's" at the bottom of my reply on the thread.

No pm's.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doesn't bother us as long as it's to do with the post we made.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

"Depends why. I do it myself quite a bit. Hope I’m not annoying

I didn't complain, did I?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No ive had some really good conversations with people from them dm'ing me from forum threads.

Once they realise I absolutely have zero intentions about chatting about sex or adding them as a friend of course

This.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find it really annoying when guys DM you to respond to your comments in forum posts? Why do that?"

Depends of the thread. I’ve started doing it recently and attached face pics. I’ve got one of those faces people want slap or sit on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just delete those unread if they're from men I don't know. I don't have a problem saying "keep it to the thread" either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, though it is PM and not DM isn't it? x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m fine with it and have done it in the past. How do you recommend letting someone know you have appreciated their comment without detailing the thread? Or want to add something that you don’t want everyone else to read? "

The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't mind if it's something not totally on topic we have had a bit of back and forth about because they don't want to derail the thread. If it's something they should have just posted on the thread though then yeah I totally get you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Had great conversations and made friends from DM's. Don't mind at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers. "

I really don’t think so. Not from the forums anyway. Unless nobody wants to get into mine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers. "

I was thinking that after I posted

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers.

I really don’t think so. Not from the forums anyway. Unless nobody wants to get into mine

Your pants are incredibly colourful and attractive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I’ve done it on occasions, to offer some private support to someone who seems like they need it.

Maybe the OP of a sensitive forum thread when I don’t want to let the whole site know I’ve been in a similar situation, or maybe I can see someone is being unjustly criticised by unfair comments on here…. but I don’t want to them end up being bullied myself. (Yes it happens to guys)

Either way, the option is there to ‘Reply Privately’, same as the option is there to block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

Doesn’t bother me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very annoying. They claim to have clicked the wrong button but I don't believe that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would do this if I was alreadt friends with someone ....

But to a random. Probs not.

There are always exceptions tho. "

Yes agree, there are exceptions

J x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Sometimes they have good gossip. And sometimes it's nice to take it to a private convo.

I don't like to when the DM to argue though, disagree on the thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Very annoying. They claim to have clicked the wrong button but I don't believe that

...must... resist.... Urge....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very annoying. They claim to have clicked the wrong button but I don't believe that

...must... resist.... Urge...."

Good luck lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is for women - it's largely not that. It's men trying to get in our knickers.

I was thinking that after I posted"

I’m fine with men trying to get in my knickers

J x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread