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"Thanks for sharing that, there’s no reason to regret it tomorrow or any day. I’m glad to hear that your life’s amazing now. May I ask what your flat mate said and/or did to stop you? I too have lost people to suicide and one of my best friends attempted it, I hate that I wasn’t able to see how bad things were for him and help him before it got to that point. If I knew someone was feeling suicidal I really wouldn’t know what to say to them so it would be interesting to know what your flat mate said in case I’m ever in that situation. " She threatened to kick the bathroom door in. She gave me a dressing down and all the love in the world. I don't remember the words or much of the following few weeks tbh. I guess the point I'm trying to get across was the relief I felt in having made the decision. It felt good. | |||
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"Thanks for sharing that, there’s no reason to regret it tomorrow or any day. I’m glad to hear that your life’s amazing now. May I ask what your flat mate said and/or did to stop you? I too have lost people to suicide and one of my best friends attempted it, I hate that I wasn’t able to see how bad things were for him and help him before it got to that point. If I knew someone was feeling suicidal I really wouldn’t know what to say to them so it would be interesting to know what your flat mate said in case I’m ever in that situation. She threatened to kick the bathroom door in. She gave me a dressing down and all the love in the world. I don't remember the words or much of the following few weeks tbh. I guess the point I'm trying to get across was the relief I felt in having made the decision. It felt good. " I don’t think anyone can understand what it feels like to be in that position unless they’ve been there themselves, which is why it’s so difficult for people to deal with when a loved one does it. When I’ve been low the thought of suicide has scared me so I know I’ve never been close to that point but I have had a mini breakdown from stress and lost control of my mind and my personality changed completely so I understand how powerful the mind is and how we really can’t control it at times. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about giving away their possessions once they’d decided they were going to do it. Is there any relevance to that or is it simply wanting to give people a reminder of you? | |||
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"Thanks for sharing that, there’s no reason to regret it tomorrow or any day. I’m glad to hear that your life’s amazing now. May I ask what your flat mate said and/or did to stop you? I too have lost people to suicide and one of my best friends attempted it, I hate that I wasn’t able to see how bad things were for him and help him before it got to that point. If I knew someone was feeling suicidal I really wouldn’t know what to say to them so it would be interesting to know what your flat mate said in case I’m ever in that situation. She threatened to kick the bathroom door in. She gave me a dressing down and all the love in the world. I don't remember the words or much of the following few weeks tbh. I guess the point I'm trying to get across was the relief I felt in having made the decision. It felt good. I don’t think anyone can understand what it feels like to be in that position unless they’ve been there themselves, which is why it’s so difficult for people to deal with when a loved one does it. When I’ve been low the thought of suicide has scared me so I know I’ve never been close to that point but I have had a mini breakdown from stress and lost control of my mind and my personality changed completely so I understand how powerful the mind is and how we really can’t control it at times. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about giving away their possessions once they’d decided they were going to do it. Is there any relevance to that or is it simply wanting to give people a reminder of you?" More like not wanting them to go in the bin or to someone I didn't love I think. | |||
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"There is a programme on television tonight at 10 about Will Young and his twin brothers suicide. I think they also interview other families to see how losing their loved ones to suicide affected them as well. Well worth watching I think." Yeah, I want to watch this, his brother was alcoholic and addicted to pain killers wasn’t he? I saw an article about it and it said that the last time Will saw his brother he punched him which must have made it even harder for him to deal with. Even though Will had his brother staying at his house and he looked after him every day, he said every morning he had to clean the sick and wee up and then go out to buy him alcohol and get him some pills, I bet all he could think about was punching him. | |||
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"Right, well... I'm all in. I may regret posting this tomorrow but here we are. I had a go in my mid 20s. It seemed logical. The decision was a relief. I spent a week going round seeing all the people I loved to say goodbye, they didn't know it was goodbye of course. I gave away some precious things and had, as far as I thought at the time, wrapped it all up nicely. I was happy for the first time in years. Come the day I had planned my flatmate stopped me. For which I'm grateful. I didn't know then that my life would be amazing or that I would learn to live with myself. It was a logical sensible decision in my youthful mind. It was a relief. It was a weight lifted. I was in control for once in my life. It was my choice. I've lost a few to suicide. All young males. All beautiful humans. I'm glad I wasn't one of them, but I stand by their decisions as well as grieve for them. What else can we do? " ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Earlier found myself watching a Professor Green documentary as he tried to understand why his father took his own life. For those that have taken this step or are plagued by the thoughts of it, they will have reasons why which are valid to them. For me it was and is things like Pressure to succeed Not understanding my sexuality Not dealing with my femme side very well when first emerged Feelings of worthlessness and no point to my life. A couple of these were echoed by others in the programme. Now many will say that these are all things that can be overcome in time and not worth taking the drastic step over. They may be right but for those going through it it may not feel that way. One of the questions I was left with was for those left behind and affected does the why matter, does it in some way help them cope with the tragedy or does it make no difference? " Perhaps they just want to understand and process what happened. There needs to be a why. For the person the why could be irrelevant, as you say. I hope you have people to talk to. Xxxx | |||
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"Sending love to all of those affected by suicide, it’s such a sad situation for all involved xx" Well said. Never make a permanent decision in a temporary situation. | |||
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"I think it's incredibly shit to call the person who died, "selfish" for leaving people behind. " I’ve never been a believer that it’s selfish to commit suicide but many sadly do. Well said. | |||
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"The why does matter, it’s only then that we can learn to be better and to help prevent it. Ok… So I’ve had suicide ideation in patches throughout my adult life. I’ve had depression and anxiety since my teenage years, mostly I manage it, sometimes I don’t. When I don’t manage it, it’s a constant battle with feeling like a burden, being in mental pain so strong that it feels almost physical. It makes me feel like a failure, useless and completely alone (whether I am or not). It’s then that the thoughts come. It’s not a selfish act, although it can be depending on how you choose to do it, it’s the only way to escape and to relieve the pain. For me, it’s always been about feeling alone, trying to reach out to others but getting rebuffed, being unable to express myself with others and them not caring. If we’re going to prevent suicide, from my personal experiences, we as society need to do better at listening and supporting others, looking for signs and acting on them. Not thinking ‘I’m tired, I’ll call them next week’, not ignoring the trigger words they’re using, not avoiding them because they make you feel sad. Yes, many people don’t show signs and there’s nothing that could be done, as MGC posted; they made their minds up and it was a relief. For others, they’re struggling and it can be seen. Reach out to them and offer a hand, it could save a life" ![]() | |||
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"I think it's incredibly shit to call the person who died, "selfish" for leaving people behind. I’ve never been a believer that it’s selfish to commit suicide but many sadly do. Well said." Surely it is said in hope of dissuading others and making them think about the impact left on those you leave behind so that they will not take a similar action? | |||
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"I think it's incredibly shit to call the person who died, "selfish" for leaving people behind. I’ve never been a believer that it’s selfish to commit suicide but many sadly do. Well said." Me neither but I can see why people do. It’s often seen as selfish or “the easy way out”. If you’re the spouse left with grieving children and no money etc I can see why someone could feel like that way, especially as they could have been struggling too. | |||
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"Seen it all too much through my life, friends (all men) who succeeded and those that didn’t thankfully. All of them, bar one, you wouldn’t have had a clue they were suffering as were always smiling, life of a crowd. Those that have survived, the consistent message after talking to them, was they felt they couldn’t talk to anyone about how they were feeling, felt they would be dismissed as being daft or laughed at. For one survivor, a forces man who struggled with what he had witnessed, his second attempt helped his old colleagues open up about their feelings. He was far from alone in what he was going through and they now all openly talk to each other about the past or any other problems they are experiencing. It is natural to ask ‘why’ after the event, it’s too late then. We need to spot it earlier, make it not so much a stigma to have these dark thoughts, to make it more acceptable for those suffering to feel like they can talk to people (even strangers) without being laughed off & subject changed. Be willing to listen, I mean actually listen, without judgment or interrupting or dismissing their feelings. " I agree. Actually listening is a skill though. Not trying to fix the problem, solve the issue or make it go away, just listening without judgement. Many people can’t do that and often the person just needs to be heard. | |||
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"I think it's incredibly shit to call the person who died, "selfish" for leaving people behind. I’ve never been a believer that it’s selfish to commit suicide but many sadly do. Well said. Surely it is said in hope of dissuading others and making them think about the impact left on those you leave behind so that they will not take a similar action? " It's just another nail in their coffin. They are selfish for feeling suicidal and hence worthless. Yet another burden on them. | |||
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"Seen it all too much through my life, friends (all men) who succeeded and those that didn’t thankfully. All of them, bar one, you wouldn’t have had a clue they were suffering as were always smiling, life of a crowd. Those that have survived, the consistent message after talking to them, was they felt they couldn’t talk to anyone about how they were feeling, felt they would be dismissed as being daft or laughed at. For one survivor, a forces man who struggled with what he had witnessed, his second attempt helped his old colleagues open up about their feelings. He was far from alone in what he was going through and they now all openly talk to each other about the past or any other problems they are experiencing. It is natural to ask ‘why’ after the event, it’s too late then. We need to spot it earlier, make it not so much a stigma to have these dark thoughts, to make it more acceptable for those suffering to feel like they can talk to people (even strangers) without being laughed off & subject changed. Be willing to listen, I mean actually listen, without judgment or interrupting or dismissing their feelings. I agree. Actually listening is a skill though. Not trying to fix the problem, solve the issue or make it go away, just listening without judgement. Many people can’t do that and often the person just needs to be heard. " Agree it is a skill and many do struggle with it, wanting to try and fix. I spent the last three years of my job doing just that and the day job took second fiddle. Not surprisingly, our team was all made up of those that had been through it themselves. Our company was shocked at how busy the 8 of us were day to day, it was certainly an eye opener for them. | |||
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