FabSwingers.com forum: Question for men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or women

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

You’re asking one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Why do people lie or mess with other peoples feelings.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

Ghost after you start a relationship? No, not acceptable at all...cowardly

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By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

[Removed by poster at 08/05/22 20:57:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

Is this before or after you've met the person.

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By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

Have never ghosted in my life.

I’m fact, women have ghosted me, so it’s individuals…not specifically men.

PS sorry to put two and two together and assume a man has ghosted you…I apologise for my gender.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You’re asking one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Why do people lie or mess with other peoples feelings. "

The issue is not knowing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have never ghosted in my life.

I’m fact, women have ghosted me, so it’s individuals…not specifically men.

PS sorry to put two and two together and assume a man has ghosted you…I apologise for my gender."

Sorry if it had been done to you, but it’s shitty and it hurts never knowing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?

Is this before or after you've met the person."

3 dates in x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

I've had that kind of experience. It's so rude when someone's doing that kind of things behind your back, making fool of you. But, that is what it is. (In my case I was fooled by woman, of course).

Keep goin'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is ghosting sam3 as leading on then suddenly drop interest? Ir something different all together

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Can’t answer op as I’ve never ghosted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fear of commitment to something more serious or if already in a relationship, they find it easier to ghost and confront their partner and say things just aren't working out anymore. I get it in a odd sort of way but it's still not a great thing to do.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Psychology Today suggests there are four principal reasons

1. Convenience. Sometimes, what's easy is prioritized. Having more direct conversations to end a relationship can be unpleasant, takes energy and time, and can require managing emotions. Ghosting is easier.

2. Faded attraction. People's reasons for ghosting are sometimes based on boredom, loss of interest, and a decrease in romantic attraction. Getting out early, without much effort, can seem like an appealing approach to ending the relationship.

3. Undesirable interactions. People sometimes ghost a new relationship partner when that person offends them or does something off-putting. Feelings change from attraction to repulsion, or in other ways from positive to negative. A new dislike or disgust can make the idea of a direct let's-end-this-relationship conversation highly unappealing. Better to ghost than to talk.

4. Safety. People might step into a relationship and quickly notice that it may not be in their best interest to continue talking with another person. If someone becomes "creepy" or "weird" ending all communication abruptly, and without explanation, may be critical, and an important strategy to ensure safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been ghosted a few times and while on a night out I bumped into someone who had ghosted me after meeting up for the first time. We were both a bit d*unk so talking openly and honestly and when I asked him why he stopped messaging me he said that when we met he wasn’t attracted to me and found me boring but he didn’t want to tell me that in case it upset me but also didn’t want to lie to me by making up a reason for not wanting to see me again so he thought the best thing to do was to just stop messaging me. To be honest, I didn’t know how to react to that as it was nice that he didn’t want to upset me or lie to me but it wasn’t nice of him to ghost me. I’ve been in his position and I’ve told a white lie, putting the blame on myself, for not wanting to stay in touch but a lie is still a lie. It made me wonder what the best thing to do in that situation is….would I prefer to have been told the truth even though it would have upset me, been lied to or have been ghosted….

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?

Is this before or after you've met the person.

3 dates in x"

Bastard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs sorry to here this

Most it’s got what they wanted

It’s why I normally ask them to just be straight up with me

No need for the bs

If they just want a test drive say so

May not happen right this second or this month or next

But there will be a day / night / weekend whare I am like ooo I am horny

Oooo that’s right so and so wanted a test run

Do you know what let’s message see they free for some mindless fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never ghosted anyone. But have had it done to me. Think its a power thing. But i never get pissed off. I normally recognise it before and laugh when someone else wins.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I've only ever ghosted one person, it made me feel so bad that I've never done it since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably the same reason why women ghost I suppose.. its not a nice thing to happen but hey-ho, there is more to life than to dwell on something that is out of your control.

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

Because they can— no one there to hold them accountable for it. *shrugs*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ghosting isn't acceptable, its about communication, just be polite and respectful x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience this is a women problem just as much as men pure fear of reaction and not having to feel guilty for clean up and simply run away hell theres movies about women doing it running away on wedding days and such

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's when they ghost you and then come back to haunt you months or years down the line

If I wasn't enough then, I won't be enough now

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By *laymates30Couple
over a year ago

The West

Ghosting is a reflection of them, not you and their inability to communicate. Look at it as a lucky escape.

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By *assionate explorer 1Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

Just literally got ghosted. It's the same for both sex. Shame. Doesn't feel to ggod

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?

Is this before or after you've met the person.

3 dates in x"

Unfortunately alot of men are assholes, this being a swinging site alot just see it as away of getting an easy lay.

Just rember your worth more than him and any guy who does this to you isn't worth your time.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It's unacceptable, but why are you directing this at men? Women do it too. It's happened to us.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I've only done it twice but I had good reasons

1) Person 1 was Too much drama.

- would call me d*unk & start arguments over nothing

- had too many insecurities and just put me off her weight, age etc. Though I reassured her she was gorgeous & nothing to worry about, she would bang on another it over & over eventually just put me off.

2) Person 2 was too clingy

and I said 1000 times I'm not after relationship

it just did not compute I had too ghost unfortunately as wouldn't leave me alone

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By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun

Never seen one, don't want to meet one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well had a reply this morning

Said someone he saw in the pub made him realise he wasn’t ready for a relationship

He did mention at the time , said it was his mates wife and his mate had stabbed him in the back.

I can’t say it makes total sense but at least I’ve had a reason

Xxx

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By *othicslaveCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"Psychology Today suggests there are four principal reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’re asking one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Why do people lie or mess with other peoples feelings.

The issue is not knowing "

This is why I say, I can deal with truth if you tell me’. Just bloody be mature and sensitive and things would be easier to move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You’re asking one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Why do people lie or mess with other peoples feelings.

The issue is not knowing

This is why I say, I can deal with truth if you tell me’. Just bloody be mature and sensitive and things would be easier to move on.

Well I have an answer now so time to move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not a trait unique to men, I think if referring to online dating etc it’s reflective of the way the apps are.

People use them to relieve boredom, loneliness and I’ve found many just don’t know what they want. Company for a coffee /drink once then nowt. Or the classic ‘not looking to date/a relationship ’ reply , but seem the profile back online

We’re treated as disposable commodities, and that hurts those of us looking for someone serious & committed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Definitely not a trait unique to men, I think if referring to online dating etc it’s reflective of the way the apps are.

We’re treated as disposable commodities, and that hurts those of us looking for someone serious & committed. "

Yeah i agree it’s definitely how dating apps work . This dating malarkey is a bag of shite

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I'm not sure for most the reason for ghosting is any difference from that of women, couples or anyone else. So I'm not sure if you'll get any specific insight targeting this at men.

Simply I think people want a simple life and not to deal with any fall out when they've had a change of mind (for what any reason). Shitty yes, moral no, but people are seeking their own desires as job number one and you are just at this stage a random stranger on the Internet who they don't feel they owe their time or sex to. Unfortunately you have no control over people's moral compass or levels of cowardness or laziness. If it becomes too much of a problem I'd recommend club, there you get people in the physical world.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not sure for most the reason for ghosting is any difference from that of women, couples or anyone else. So I'm not sure if you'll get any specific insight targeting this at men.

Yeah I agree I shouldn’t have targeted the question at men x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hugs sorry to here this

Most it’s got what they wanted

It’s why I normally ask them to just be straight up with me

No need for the bs

If they just want a test drive say so

May not happen right this second or this month or next

But there will be a day / night / weekend whare I am like ooo I am horny

Oooo that’s right so and so wanted a test run

Do you know what let’s message see they free for some mindless fun

I didn’t even get a shag out of it either

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

It’s happened to me (by women) several times, and I’ve done it myself. I’m on dating sites and it’s quite prevalent on there. It’s not great, but personally I take the hint that they just don’t want to chat/meet any more.

My own feeling is that I’d prefer to assume that, rather than have them tell me to go away because they think I’m a complete twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some hooman beans are just horrible, selfish, self-serving cunts.

Why do they do it? Multiple reasons, some or all might apply…

Lack of humility and of respect for others.

They feel entitled they don’t care about others feelings/hurt.

They’re out for themselves.

Sometimes they prefer to avoid awkward “goodbyes”.

Sometimes they prefer to avoid “I didn’t like you that much, on reflection”.

They have moved on to something else and discarded their conquests feelings.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I don't believe I've ever ghosted anyone.

I have, however, *been* ghosted more times than I can remember.

I understand exactly why women do it, and while I hate that they have to, I don't blame them at all.

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By *ig-Bull-EssexMan
over a year ago

Southend

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

Boys ghost.

Men just silently vanish

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Women and couples ghost too.

Don't overthink it as they aren't worth your energy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never done it.

have the balls to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

I've never ghosted anyone in my life so I can't answer I suspect it's to do with avoiding the consequences and responsibilities of the promises and actions they have made and done .

Hope my answer has merit OP like I've said I've never ghosted anyone so can not speak from experience of doing such a thing .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the 90's 'ghosting' meant making sexy pottery together. Weird how meanings change

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the 90's 'ghosting' meant making sexy pottery together. Weird how meanings change "

Love that film!

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By *lexWkdMan
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Women do it too . It's never acceptable we are all grown ups put on those big girl/boy pants and just tell one another the score .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Women do it too . It's never acceptable we are all grown ups put on those big girl/boy pants and just tell one another the score .

Yeah he did this morning

Time to move on xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the 90's 'ghosting' meant making sexy pottery together. Weird how meanings change

Love that film! "

I love pottery. Whoopi Goldberg too

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I’ve never ghosted anyone. If it gets to the point a woman is not right for me I clearly but politely make her know that. I would hope a woman would do the same with me. Respect and manners cost nothing

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

I Tony NEVER ghost, I often block tossers and timewasters though, those who show us disrespect or bad manners

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

I've been ghosted a number of times on here but I've never ghosted anyway. I'm too polite to be that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ghosting is part of being online wanting to meet anyone be it for 15 minutes or a lifetime, it's not a male or female thing and happens to us all. It's shitty and makes you feel crap but you live and learn from it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the 90's 'ghosting' meant making sexy pottery together. Weird how meanings change

Love that film!

I love pottery. Whoopi Goldberg too "

Would prefer Demi Moore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If women are allowed to ghost then men are allowed to as well equality and all that

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"If women are allowed to ghost then men are allowed to as well equality and all that "

No they're bloody not allowed. Poor behaviour is poor behaviour. Those who put their dick before their self respect and give such behaviour a free pass are just help enable this behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If women are allowed to ghost then men are allowed to as well equality and all that

No they're bloody not allowed. Poor behaviour is poor behaviour. Those who put their dick before their self respect and give such behaviour a free pass are just help enable this behaviour."

Just glad I didn’t shag him tbh

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?"

Another thread to blame half of earth population on one persons unwise choice

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Well had a reply this morning

Said someone he saw in the pub made him realise he wasn’t ready for a relationship

He did mention at the time , said it was his mates wife and his mate had stabbed him in the back.

I can’t say it makes total sense but at least I’ve had a reason

Xxx"

Sounds rather vague and a poor excuse.

But also a lucky escape. 3 dates in and he's still a stranger.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Because, from my experience, men, women and children think dishonesty is acceptable behaviour.

If you go off someone just bloomin' tell them

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Could be a number of different reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been ghosted twice on here,i think i must have 2 heads

or my chatting isnt good enough .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you ghost ? Do you think it’s acceptable? Scared ? In a relationship and decided not say anything?

Another thread to blame half of earth population on one persons unwise choice"

Simply asking a question

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because, from my experience, men, women and children think dishonesty is acceptable behaviour.

If you go off someone just bloomin' tell them

Precisely x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive been ghosted twice on here,i think i must have 2 heads

or my chatting isnt good enough ."

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Would never ghost couples or female

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

I had to Google what ghosting meant.

Yep, my ex girlfriend done that to me and it fucking sucks. The only solace I take from it, is that I do genuinely hope she's happy xx. Loved her too much to ever hate her

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