FabSwingers.com forum: On the back of

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The men why don't you talk thread...

Ladies...

Are you the same?

Do you feel like you have to keep quiet for fear of ridicule or not being believed?

Or do you have a close support group/friend you can vent too that you know will listen?

It was sad to read some of the comments on the men's thread x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The men why don't you talk thread...

Ladies...

Are you the same?

Do you feel like you have to keep quiet for fear of ridicule or not being believed?

Or do you have a close support group/friend you can vent too that you know will listen?

It was sad to read some of the comments on the men's thread x"

Whatchu talkin bout

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Me being quiet is how you know something is wrong... Funny that it still doesn't mean anyone takes any notice and choose to see it as me not wanting them to contact me and even if they do, they don't really want to deal with anything I have a problem with... So what's the point, I just get on with shit and get myself sorted.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

Can't speak for anyone else, but I am certainly guilty of wheeling out the "I'm fine" line when people ask if I'm OK, even when I really am far from fine. I'm really not very good at asking for , or accepting, help whether that is in the form of practical help or emotional support.

I do have a very small group of people I will confide in when I'm struggling, but even that is generally only when I reach a certain point.

I'm very good at telling friends and family not to struggle alone, to talk about things and to lean on others, and I will go out of my way to be there for people , I'm just not very good at following my own advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not good at admitting when I need to talk. I'll shut myself away or paint on a happy face to hide the misery. I have a couple of people I know I can reach out and talk to, I just don't. That's not society's fault or anyone else's though, I just find it easier that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/05/22 14:51:30]

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I just wish I was capable of following the advice I give out to friends who are in downward spirals

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I spent 10+ years with someone who had everyone else believing he was right and there was nothing wrong me apart from sheer laziness (it wasn't I was suffering with pnd and anxiety) in his eyes mental illness was just an excuse to be lazy, so I didn't talk I just got on with things. So much so I still do now to the point I had a bad week this week when I should have reached out for help and I didn't til it was too late and I couldn't leave my room let alone function going to work and looking after my kids.

Luckily I've found someone in my corner who will do everything he can to help me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep myself to myself. Don't like to burden people with my problems.

I come across as quite hard and cold because of it but it's a self preservation thing.

When I'm not in a good place I disappear for a bit (go quite, off social media, shy away from friends etc).

I found the post you're referring you incredibly sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think that nobody is interested, people in my experience are too wrapped up in themselves to really give a shit, ok when you are there for them though.

That and often if I'm in a bad place I just don't have the energy or attention span to be explaining it all

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I keep myself to myself. Don't like to burden people with my problems.

I come across as quite hard and cold because of it but it's a self preservation thing.

When I'm not in a good place I disappear for a bit (go quite, off social media, shy away from friends etc).

I found the post you're referring you incredibly sad. "

This is me too. I just disappear. I don’t talk about problems. Why burden other people if there’s nothing they can do about it. I’ve never been one for opening up. Can’t see me changing now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not good at sharing really and I honestly don’t fancy the 6 hour conversation about my past to work out why I’m having the problem in the first place , if the problem is due to my past.

Work - I have a brilliant friend/s

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I've never really had strong enough friendships/relationships that people either notice if there's something wrong, or that I feel I can reach out for help. So I've generally tended to deal with things on my own.

I'm learning now to reach out to people, but I have a deep set fear of being seen as a burden, so will still struggle.

To be honest, with the way that some of my relationships (and I include friendships and family in there) have reacted when I have found the courage to reach out in the past, I find it hard to trust now, and rarely let people in - instead trying to hide the fact that I'm often dying inside with a huge smile, and telling everyone that life is great.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I have a few very close friends I can talk to when I need. I know they sometimes go through the same low points in life. I have to say most of the time I’m very upbeat so I tick along.

I certainly wouldn’t share anything here on fab and likely not with anyone on fab. Nothing is sacred here

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Honestly, and this even includes people on the fora, I've had far more experience of people reaching out to me, rather than the other way around. Including people opening up in chat groups and because I was there supporting them through their stuff, I stayed very schtum on my stuff.

The really private stuff? I wouldn't tell anyone. To be honest, nearly everyone on here, bar one, know very little but things I wouldn't mind others knowing. It's easier that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I keep myself to myself. Don't like to burden people with my problems.

I come across as quite hard and cold because of it but it's a self preservation thing.

When I'm not in a good place I disappear for a bit (go quite, off social media, shy away from friends etc).

I found the post you're referring you incredibly sad.

This is me too. I just disappear. I don’t talk about problems. Why burden other people if there’s nothing they can do about it. I’ve never been one for opening up. Can’t see me changing now. "

100% the same. I have one friend who touches base but no one else notices. I put up a good front though and go to peices behind doors. This is the probably the most I've ever opened up.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I find it horribly difficult to ask my friends for help.

I'm better at it than I used to be (went through a pretty grim time a few years back where hiding it wasn't feasible), but thankfully I'm blessed with close friends who can see the reality behind the "I'm fine, everything's fine, it's all fine!" front.

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