FabSwingers.com forum: Private Investigators

By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Reports that a BBC presenter hired a private investigator to spy on her husband. Has anyone hired a PI, or been followed by one or worked as one?

Should it be banned?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No. Do you mean like a honeytrap? I think that’s a horrendous thing to do if so.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I mean hiring somebody to creep around in the shadows and taking pictures to get proof that your partner is cheating.

The honeytrap thong I once read is where you hire a decoy to try and seduce your man to find out if he stays faithful.

There is an obvious flaw in the latter plan.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Ahhh.. I was going to say I get followed around the shops pretty often

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Nope, it’s far FAR easier to gather information about someone via online methods than to pay a PI.

But personally I’ve never used one, if I have concerns about a partner I’ll speak to them directly about it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I mean hiring somebody to creep around in the shadows and taking pictures to get proof that your partner is cheating.

The honeytrap thong I once read is where you hire a decoy to try and seduce your man to find out if he stays faithful.

There is an obvious flaw in the latter plan."

Not sure of my feelings on the first one but I wouldn’t do it. The honey trap thing though I definitely don’t agree with.

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By *angerous123Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I think if you're at the stage your considering hiring people to spy on your s/o then it's time to call a halt on the relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty terrible PI if I'd noticed them following me

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I considered hiring one when my cat kept disappearing for days on end and then came back like butter wouldn't melt. I did subsequently find out of her love affair with one of the neighbours down the road

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By *estSussexGuy76Man
over a year ago

copthorne

I use to work for a PI company and I found it wrong, so decided to leave. I understand the value of getting a PI if it's a financial outcome, but what happened to going with a gut feeling.

I think anyone who sets up a honey trap, deserves whatever out come they get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mean hiring somebody to creep around in the shadows and taking pictures to get proof that your partner is cheating.

The honeytrap thong I once read is where you hire a decoy to try and seduce your man to find out if he stays faithful.

There is an obvious flaw in the latter plan."

I don't agree with honeytraps in the slightest but out of curiosity what's the obvious flaw? Not all people will cheat.

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Or more to the point, are you YOU being investigated? Watch out for random old people hanging around - agencies use them for surveillance because they are 'invisible'.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I couldn't afford it to start with

Secrecy and suspicious behaviour pretty much confirm that a relationship isn't going well. I suppose a PI will give you evidence if you crave it or need it for legal reasons.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Sometimes when your in a highly manipulative relationship you need something concrete to help you out of the Matrix. My ex wife made be think I was going completely crazy, it was so cruel. I'd got wind of something iffy and I thought I'd got a smoking gun. I confronted her with it. But she had such a way with me not only did she make me feel so guilty for questioning her loyalty, she made out that I was this horrible paranoid husband and made me genuinely question if I was going completely mad. It was a horrible feeling.

Anyway after much heartache and reflection I thought no, it's not me, there's something going on. I needed that concrete evidence, beyond doubt so she could explain it away and play those mind games again. So I had an idea of where, when and with who this was going on. I nearly used a PI, but then I pulled out at the last moment, figuring it's something I need to do my self. BTW the PI firm I was talking to were female lead and were very good and sensitive to these cases and the emotional trauma they cause. So in the end I did the investigation work myself and caught her at it. This time she could not deny it or explain it away, yet still had a way of making out she's the victim and I'm the villain. This was the point I said no more and heart broken as I was knew it had to end. I seen the manipulative woman she was. Later on as I unpicked the years together I realise what a toxic and manipulative job she'd done on me. Something that's taken year to process including guilt over the freinds and family she wedged me apart from over that time.

So sometimes closure needs evidence beyond doubt when your with a serious serial lier and manipulator who is making you think you've gone crazy.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The honey trap thing was publicised as women going to an agency which specialised in hiring females to test their men on a night out. If they failed then the marriage would be called off

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The decoy women I saw on TV had microphones and even cameras. The Chief of Police has had to put a stop to these antics for his undercover people so why is it legal for the private eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If not trusting your partner has gotten to the point you need to hire a private investigator then you should just end the relationship.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"If not trusting your partner has gotten to the point you need to hire a private investigator then you should just end the relationship."

Sadly it's not always that simple. There are sometimes children, property, finances and not everyone wants a no fault divorce and of course many have taken vows before God.

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