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Apologies for anyone who has seen bits or all of it before, particularly on FG
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There will be some fleeting references to Pipeworks in Glasgow
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And guys........... please don't quote the whole bloody thing to post a comment.
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So.........here goes:
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The thought of going to a sauna can be daunting for umpteen reasons. Some folk are of the view you need someone to take you your first time. A wingman etc.
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**Honestly**, you don't.
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Once you have been, you will wonder what your fretting was all about.
Apologies in advance for any fruity language or anything you read "activity wise" you might think" Really ?????????"
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** For any place that asks for membership** :
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I suspect this is for licensing laws so that it is termed a a "private members club" (no jokes please about guys and their 'private members'). I would suggest using your first name (in case someone you meet in there says "Hi Dave" (or whatever) ). Then chose a fake surname you will remember such as your Granny's maiden name. Change your date of birth to the first of the month. Choose a combination that works for you so you will remember. Pipeworks in Glasgow will give you a membership "card" that simply say "TPW" (ie The Pipeworks).Next visit, just quote your fake name and date of birth if you don't have the card. It's as simple as that.
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** As a general rule for saunas**:
I would recommend going to these places with the attitude of going for a sauna and a steam, anything else is a bonus. If you go as horny as hell and gagging for it, you will probably leave disappointed. For your first time, it might be an idea to go simply for the luxury of looking at a guy without risking a smack in the mouth.
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Some people's attitude to those places is that if they don't score the place is crap but the next time they go and get their rocks off it is the best place in the world until the next time they go and get nowt
Personal experience is that sometimes in those places people wander around and around hoping that something better comes along. Other people go there just to preen.
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The only thing you need to take is yourself, a decent attitude and a smile. Everything else is provided. Towel, condoms and lube. You are not really supposed to, but people do take bottles of water with them too, to keep in the locker to have a slug now and again, just don't take them in to the main club.
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Everyone finds their own equilibrium in saunas. I know a guy who wears a baseball hat to hold condoms and lube. Saves going looking for them when he cops off. Me, I put condoms under my wristband but they do sometimes fall out; still gives an indication I am looking for an activity which uses them. As you will see from my profile pic, I invested in a "Roll on a condom and FUCK me" hat 
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I sometimes take baby lotion with me in case I see someone I want to offer a nice one-on-one massage to in a private room. Oh the mess when one guy who took up my offer sat on the full bottle and it burst. Blush! Almost as embarrassing as the time I took a full bottle of Olbas Oil in to the steam room and dropped it, smashing it.
It is rare that my offer of massage is taken up as quite a few people that go there are the cum-and-go types and don't want to spend 45 mins in a room with someone. Now that I think about it, I used to know the owner of one of the now defunct saunas and he told me that during the week, their busiest time was 12 noon to 2pm when the married men came to the sauna during their lunch hour. But I digress.....(again!)
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The main protocol for the saunas is to be safe. No exceptions. Do not let anyone "go up" you without a condom or conversely let anyone persuade you to 'slip it up' them without a condom. Rubber-up every time.
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Very obviously another protocol is respect other members. It goes without saying that cameras / phones are not allowed beyond the lockers. Note that, unless there is an advertised theme night such as 'shorts', jockstraps or whatever, everyone is towel around the waist. Some folk go bollock naked in sauna and steam room. Their choice. You have to put towel on to get from A to B in the club. The staff will pull you up otherwise unless it is naked day.
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As far as what goes on, it is only limited to people's imagination and **consensual** acts. There is sometimes groping and sucking in the sauna and steam room but some folk do object to it in the sauna and leave. Shagging is restricted to the private rooms. You might hear spanking or implement use coming from one of the rooms. You might also hear grunting as someone is being given a good ride. You won't see that unless the couple decides to do it in the private room where the other room is separated by bars rather than a wall and people can watch although technically it is illegal for people to watch two men at it.
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You might find that in the private rooms area, people wander around and around, hoping something better comes along. You may have to attempt to make the first move. You may get the brush off. It happens. You too will brush people off too. Do it gently and politely.
If you see someone you fancy standing in the doorway of a private room, raise eyebrows at them as you wander past and maybe again second time around. Or ask them if they want some company. If you are in a private room and someone you don't fancy comes in, just fib and say "Sorry, I'm waiting for someone".
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Just don't be bullied in to doing anything you don't want.
***** NO MEANS NO*****.
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Conversely, if you try to cop a feel in the sauna and your hand is brushed away, just blush and move on; grudges are generally not borne unless you make a nuisance of yourself.
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Bear in mind that you run the gauntlet of meeting someone in there you know. Family member, colleague, friend. Just remember they are not there either for tea and biscuits. I once met a married colleague in the sauna in Edinburgh. He FREAKED. But that's another story.
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Some places have a "Leave and re-enter on same day" charge. Some refer to it as a 'towel charge' (ie you would get a fresh one when you come back in). I don't know how many towels you are allowed per visit, I once overheard someone in the pub saying Pipeworks now charged 50p for each towel after the first one given on entry but thon was a LONG time ago! I've tended to only use the one except when I had to get mine changed when someone swiped mine from the peg when I was in the shower and left a soaking one in its place.
I've never used the 'leave and re-enter' so I don't know how much it is.
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btw: in Pipeworks, there's a door past the lockers if you want a fag......... the nicotine kind I mean! But stick to ciggies out there, there are flats overlooking that bit.
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One other thing I did, and it is personal preference, is that I preferred to leave my towel outside the steam room on a peg so it didn't get too wet but I always tied a knot in my towel so I knew on exit which one was mine. You take your towel in to the sauna with you and a lot of folk do so in to the steam room. Some folk take their own towel with them to keep in the locker for their after their "Time to go home" shower.
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You might decide not to take too many valuables with you. I did hear once of someone attempting to prise lockers open but that is few and far between. The police were called and it was swiftly and firmly dealt with. The only names that were taken were his and the staff as witnesses...
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I think that covers most bases and questions you didn't know you had. Feel free to write - privately if you want - if you have any further questions I might have not thought of. Others might also jump in.
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It might not be 'right' for you first time but there's always another time, even if it is - as I said - for the luxury of being able to go for an ogle. As I also said, go for sauna and steam. Anything else is a bonus.
Just relax and enjoy yourself. No pressure to 'get anything |
