FabSwingers.com forum: Did she or didn't she...should he or shouldn't he?

By *dirtydancersUK OP Couple
over a year ago

huntingdon

Asking for a friend...

So my friend and his partner are on this site.

Long story short he doesn't know whether to bring this up with his partner...

They enjoy swinging and he particularly enjoys watching, now she was given a phone number of a guy who was on here by her partner to arrange some business deals but was given free reign to seal the deal

her partners only request was she kept him updated of any potential updates on the non vanilla front

Fast forward 18 months and nothing came to light until her partner was messaged by the guy asking if they wanted to meet up again, her partner asked him if they ever got up to anything, the guy said "yeah we met a couple of times" but couldnt remember where but roughly gave an idea of when and all the horny details...

After several horny wanks the intrigue got the better of her partner so he told her what three guy had said and she denied it all...

But something still tugged at him about what the guy had said, so my friend decided to be a bit sneaky and uncoof and checked her search and location history around that time...he found she had searched for a hotel on more than one occasion or day on various sites as well as using map/GPS searches leading up to the rough dates and had turned her location off for them days, the hotel was half way between them and the guy around the time that the guy said they had met for the first time. I've said to just leave it and let the past be the past, he, on the other hand would love to hear her horny story if it happened and wants to let her know what he knows, what do you guys say? Should he tell her what he knows/did or shouldn't he?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Someone cheated and lied.

Someone else had to breach trust to find out, and now wants to know what to do?

Assuming he wants to ditch her, find a different reason. If he doesn't want to ditch her, the n I guess it's all irrelevant anyway?

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Maybe she didn't enjoy it and doesn't want to talk about it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Waaay to complicated for me. He should just do what he wants and both of them should stop sneaking around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah.

This entire swinging thing is based on honesty and trust.

If someone is lying then it's not just about sex.

I dont get how he can find being lied to a turn on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe she didn't enjoy it and doesn't want to talk about it?"

But she's met more than once.

From what I can gather,he doesn't mind his partner meeting other guys. He just wants full transparency and details as he gets of on it.

I think it's more the fact she's met this guy and not told her partner.

He can had let it go or he'll fester on it as he knows she's not been truthful, he's better telling the truth and just letting her know he wants her to be honest if she's having these meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He should show her some respect and move on she obviously doesn't want to discuss it . Just because he's horny over the situation doesnt give him the right to push for more information than she's willing to give in my opinion .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/22 15:46:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s interesting because all the swinging couples on here are always very public about never cheating and never having to, but it does happen in all aspects of life.. even swingers (I can attest to this first hand

)

It’s a strange one as it sounds like he’s happy it happened and wants to get horny on it, but I guess for others a line would have been crossed in terms of the trust element.

Should he tell he knows? If he’s happy that it’s her dirty secret and he gets off on it, maybe best to say nothing.

If it’s eating at him, or there’s a risk she’ll go

ballistic at his perceived lack of trust in what she said, it might cause a rift… ooh what to do, what to do??

I guess only he truly knows the right path!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should tell your friend that he's creepy as hell. Who the heck goes back 18 months to check up on their location and search history. He's keeping tabs on her and doesn't trust her so they shouldn't be swinging.

Maybe get your wife/ partner to check on her and make sure she's ok.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Drop her, it’s over

Forgive her is just a green light to do it again but hide it better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you should tell your friend that he's creepy as hell. Who the heck goes back 18 months to check up on their location and search history. He's keeping tabs on her and doesn't trust her so they shouldn't be swinging.

Maybe get your wife/ partner to check on her and make sure she's ok. "

Could flip that though my lovely, a natural opportunity arose some months later and the guy said they’d met. She denied it, he checked. Not hugely creepy in my book, particularly when the evidence suggested she might have been telling porkies!

Nobody comes out smelling of roses imho ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's fucking men behind his back and he's in the wrong for checking her search history?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s interesting because all the swinging couples on here are always very public about never cheating and never having to, but it does happen in all aspects of life.. even swingers (I can attest to this first hand

)

It’s a strange one as it sounds like he’s happy it happened and wants to get horny on it, but I guess for others a line would have been crossed in terms of the trust element.

Should he tell he knows? If he’s happy that it’s her dirty secret and he gets off on it, maybe best to say nothing.

If it’s eating at him, or there’s a risk she’ll go

ballistic at his perceived lack of trust in what she said, it might cause a rift… ooh what to do, what to do??

I guess only he truly knows the right path!"

This guy gets it.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I don't know why anyone would find it a turn on that they have been lied to, for me that would have been the end of the relationship because trust has been broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She's fucking men behind his back and he's in the wrong for checking her search history?"

Yep, thats the general way of the forum!

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Maybe get your wife/ partner to check on her and make sure she's ok. "

If a guy she had been planning to meet, with nothing to lose or gain by doing so, says they did meet, and she says they didn’t. That would definitely raise some flags. I don’t think it’s entirely creep mode to check out what’s happening there

Meanwhile she’s lied and been unfaithful. But she must be protected.

Talk about a bias

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was talking to a couple before, and offered my number to make communication easier (move it to whatsapp).

She refused because she did not want to be having any private conversations. She and her husband come as a pair and that's how it should be.

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