FabSwingers.com forum: When you don't fancy

By *atalie.. OP Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

Part of a couple, what do you say or do.

Example you are in a club then you start a snogging session with the female and her partner wants in on the action but they are so not your type...

Or you see a couple on here, maybe a honey trap profile, only photos of the woman, you finally see photos of the other half and again so not your type

Do you go with the not type one so you can get your grubby hand's on the type one

Or do you say sod it and move on

Discuss

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Introduce the one I fancy to someone else and hope they hit it off. Bespoke couple tailored to your taste.

Voila

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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago

St Peter Port

"Introduce the one I fancy to someone else and hope they hit it off. Bespoke couple tailored to your taste.

Voila "

Exactly. No point in even entertaining a meet if all parties don't fancy each other. A recipe for disaster!

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

Hmmmmm.....tricky, tricky, going to need a moment to ponder on this one!

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

It’d be rude to leave someone out. Very much all or nothing. No taking one for the team, not nice for anyone.

If they’re not our cup of tea we just say. Not hard to be polite

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Dieect to them to their other half and leave when they get hot and heavy

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I'd like to think there would have been some kind of conversation before you started snogging K so we can talk about what everyone wants

LvM

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Presume "proper" couples would have discussed this, and would have some signals / codewords so that there's no confusion / angst

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By *he FAB Social - MCRCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

Ask if they play separately in conversation then if it’s a yes invite the one you fancy, if not just don’t go forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask if they play separately in conversation then if it’s a yes invite the one you fancy, if not just don’t go forward. "

This right here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah the old “we all want to snog and fuck the Mrs, and exclude Mr” dilemma. It seems unfair, if you’re meeting as a couple, to do exclusion unless the other (excluded) party is happy to sit back and let their partner enjoy themselves (which they might be!).

If they come as a pair, and expect to play as a pair, then if you don’t fancy one of them, then it’s not right to monopolise one of them, it’s a recipe for jealousy and angst. And we don’t want any of that, do we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to move on. It's not fair to go with someone just to get your fun with the one you do fancy. You need to respect them both as individuals and as a couple.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Introduce the one I fancy to someone else and hope they hit it off. Bespoke couple tailored to your taste.

Voila

Exactly. No point in even entertaining a meet if all parties don't fancy each other. A recipe for disaster!"

Just to be crystal, this was said in jest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here would probably say sorry not my type hope they understand

In a club all ready in the mist off the moment horn would take over and be blind eyed and just let them bang

Probably a little ooo god moment after words and then forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take one for the team, it's worth it especially in a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep it simple and be honest with your intentions, if not interested simply move on and think nothing more of it. Plenty other lovely peeps to play with.

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By *lossyLegsGlassesCouple
over a year ago

stafford

"I'd like to think there would have been some kind of conversation before you started snogging K so we can talk about what everyone wants

LvM"

This

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

As we both bi it’s extremely hard to find that 4 way connection No one should take one for the team or be made to feel like a pity fuck.

It’s happened to us a lot and we normally just say no thanks we don’t want to make anyone feel like shit by letting it know that we only fancy one of them .

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"You need to move on. It's not fair to go with someone just to get your fun with the one you do fancy. You need to respect them both as individuals and as a couple."

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Depends. I don't think people should assume you're interested in them just because you're interested in their partner but also if a couple only wants to play together that needs to be respected. Personally I'd move on rather than force myself to be sexual with someone I didn't want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this problem when I first joined Fab 8 years ago. I wouldn't fancy the male but my partner fancied the female. It always caused arguments and ended up meeting them anyway for a social. Fortunately things never went further x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a club say sorry you thought she was on her own and you don't want to have a threesome.

If it's a profile on here with only pics of her and then they send a pic of him via message it's tough luck on them. Just say sorry not your type.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

My other half is often attracted to the females on a profile ,but there are many couple profiles with all female pics on.

We don't engage with them anymore,as past experience has shown it often takes ages for them to show the male and then there's not been attraction.

I'd never meet for the sake of it,that's why we have a joint profile and our individual ones too.Thay way jack can still meet couples and women with my full encouragement .

I have this profile ,but it's rare I find anyone I want to meet nowadays.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Part of a couple, what do you say or do.

Example you are in a club then you start a snogging session with the female and her partner wants in on the action but they are so not your type...

Or you see a couple on here, maybe a honey trap profile, only photos of the woman, you finally see photos of the other half and again so not your type

Do you go with the not type one so you can get your grubby hand's on the type one

Or do you say sod it and move on

Discuss

Wow! A positive thread for solo straight guys for a change! We only have to fancy the woman, how lucky are we?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Just say sorry but I only find your partner attractive, they will either just let you carry on or end it there

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Part of a couple, what do you say or do.

Example you are in a club then you start a snogging session with the female and her partner wants in on the action but they are so not your type...

Or you see a couple on here, maybe a honey trap profile, only photos of the woman, you finally see photos of the other half and again so not your type

Do you go with the not type one so you can get your grubby hand's on the type one

Or do you say sod it and move on

Discuss

Wow! A positive thread for solo straight guys for a change! We only have to fancy the woman, how lucky are we?

That was my first thought but not really helpful input

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

1. Never take one for the team.

2. Make sure your partner knows you wouldn't expect them to take one for the team.

3. It takes a couple of seconds for you to know if you are attracted to the half of the other couple you may play with. Spend more time working out if your partner will click with the other half of the couple. You will soon get a feel for it.

4. Have a get out phrase.. "we are just going to have a chat with some friends/have a drink at the bar" This gives you time to chat and think.

5. If something doesn't feel right, move on. You are under no obligation to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one of us don't find part of a couple attractive we simply don't go there in terms of playing as a couple.

Best to find out in a conversation first if either of them play alone. Which is easily done to be fair.

In terms of profiles we'd say something politely.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Don't attend clubs... and through messages here - we're quite upfront, if we don't fancy both parties of a couple, then we will be letting them know politely that they are not what we are looking for as neither of us will take one for the team...

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

A four way thing is always difficult. But if they come as a couple, then they come as a couple. We don't want 50% attraction, we want 100% attraction. Likewise we would want the same back. Who wants to be with people who not attracted them? And more to the point it normally tells and is a bit rubbish if everyone not into everyone (applicable to their sexual orientation). And it's not just about attraction. I (Mr) am straight but if I don't get on with the guy that's not going to work either. So if we're both not happy we just don't. The beauty of a good club night is there's normally plenty more fish in the sea. And for us are attraction (especially when it comes to getting physical) tends to be far more to do with how we get on with them than looks (although physical attraction is still an aspect). That's why we prefer clubs because we can get a good feel for people and see what they look like in real from the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not looking for the same sexual experience than someone who is Bi. But I would need to at least be attracted to both their personalities to at least spend time in the same bedroom all together. ( and I’m sure they think the same of me).

I’d probably just move on if they only meet together, kindly let them know the moment has gone type of thing.

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