FabSwingers.com forum: Am I too sensitive?

By *acystacey OP Woman
over a year ago

Ceredigion

I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ocusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

Not at all. If you don’t feel comfortable with anything then you’re at liberty to say no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acystacey OP Woman
over a year ago

Ceredigion

"If he can't be arsed to sit and have a coffee for a few minutes, but rather you drive twice as far as he hasto I think it tells you all you need to know about what any potential fun would be like haha"

I'm inclined to agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.

I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acystacey OP Woman
over a year ago

Ceredigion

"No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.

I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice. "

I think I'm just going to give him a miss altogether

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No you're definitely not being unreasonable. And you told him your concerns and he didnt care enough to compromise.

I'd just say well I'm only driving 10 minutes now so your choice.

I think I'm just going to give him a miss altogether

I think that you are entirely right to give him a miss; too many arrogant entitled ill mannered men on here thinking that they are doing you a favour by meeting you; not worth it, you are better than that!

Lucy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best swerved I agree. He sounds like a plank if he thinks you're going to run about catering to him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover

Personally, I’d tell him to sling his hook. Anyone not prepared to meet you half way isn’t worth your time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ammo89Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Not at all. Already pretty cheeky to expect you to travel further than him, and then to not be willing to meet and chat with you in a public place?

That's a bullet dodged for sure

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

No, definitely not being too sensitive, OP. That guy sounds like a plonker, in all honestly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He doesn't deserve your company x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Nope, the fact he won’t entertain something as simple as the travel being 50/50 tells you all you need to know.

Sounds like someone just wants a car quickie.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You meet where you feel the most comfortable end of story. Plus there's the fact you're having to put in more than twice the distance he would have to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.

If he can't or won't even meet for coffee in a coffee shop and he won't make an effort to travel halfway then he isn't worth meeting. There's red flags everywhere with what you have said and I'd be telling him to forget it.

Both of you should be comfortable about where you are meeting especially for the first time and if anyone has any niggling thoughts then cancel because those thoughts are usually your gut instinct warning you. Plus if the other person wants it all on their terms then they aren't worth the effort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.

^^^^this 100%. I always ask the lady to pick. She needs to feel comfortable and safe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Sounds like a married man who doesn't want to be seen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Sounds like a married man who doesn't want to be seen. "

This was my first thought too. Services are an odd choice

LvM

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet where you are comfortable, strange he’d want to meet in a very loud and public place like a services area, is he a trucker? Rather than a quiet discreet coffee shop. The stranger thing is if he’s on here he’s probably read this thread and realised he’s f**ked up.

You meet where you want to, there has to be compromise between the two of you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. The fact you asked the question has you questioning it. If it doesn’t feel right, it isnt for you. Tell him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Sounds like a married man who doesn't want to be seen. "

My thoughts exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"
you do exactly what you feel comfortable doing you're not obliged to do anything

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Cram-BetweensCouple
over a year ago

A Club or Your Bedroom!

Sounds like he is going to be the controlling one..... personally it would be a no from me, do what you're comfortable with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut instinct

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

He sounds tight arsed or married.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Your safety is paramount.

If you want to meet in a public place, that's what should happen. Fwiw it's what I do for a first meet, no exceptions.

Don't get pushed into something you're not comfy with.

I've always said if someone isn't interested in meeting me for coffee, why would I want to get naked with them?

Good luck OP and stick to your guns.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like he is going to be the controlling one..... personally it would be a no from me, do what you're comfortable with."

OP, definitely don't meet him ever.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

Look after yourself first & foremost.

Do as you want. He sounds a selfish ignoramus.

There’s nothing wrong in being sensitive or caring, it just doesn’t need to be be abused.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope, the fact he won’t entertain something as simple as the travel being 50/50 tells you all you need to know.

Sounds like someone just wants a car quickie."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Is it one of those services with overnight accommodation? If it is, I suspect it's not your car he wants to be with you in. That would explain why he doesn't just want to go to a coffee shop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I agree with everything everyone has said. Also, in my experience a lot of men I’ve met seem to think that they’re going to get a hand job or blow job if they’re in a car with you, so I wouldn’t rule that out as something he’s thinking either!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of red flags here. You’re not being sensitive OP.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I met a guy like this. Constantly tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit.

I don't like talking on the phone so when I declined his multiple attempts to call me he said it was stupid. I told him it gave me anxiety and he called me a liar. Yet when I insisted on meeting in s pub for the social we were arranging instead of a supermarket carpark he said busy pubs gave him anxiety and I was expected to be ok with it.

Stupidly agreed to meet him still. He agreed to a pub in the end but on the day he said it was too busy so we ended up meeting in s local sports stadium carpark.

I'd said from the start it was just a social and agreed but when I got there he kept trying to get me to sit in his car. It got a bit cold in the end so I did get in his car. Then he asked of I was going to suck his cock. I told him no and that was it. End of social

Looking back there were so many red flags and I was a bit of an idiot really.

Go with your gut X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

It's a bit selfish of him to not meet you half way and on your terms but hay this could be a test to check out your submissive level your willingness to please . I've not read your profile op and my first thought was from the prospect of a top looking for a bottom. So I could be totally wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"I met a guy like this. Constantly tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit.

Stupidly agreed to meet him still. He agreed to a pub in the end but on the day he said it was too busy so we ended up meeting in s local sports stadium carpark.

Looking back there were so many red flags and I was a bit of an idiot really.

Go with your gut X "

Totally backs up what I just said above! Good for you for telling him no though, completely selfish of him x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the services? Errr red flag for me! Definitely sounds fishy to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what you need to do for you only compromise when its earned

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I wouldn't say you're being too sensitive. If you have misgivings about something then don't do it. Be true to your gut instincts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/05/22 08:20:57]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Definitely not do what makes you feel comfortable and safe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him to do one.

Your own personal safety comes before anything else. He's not exactly making much of an effort. Anyone with genuine intentions will not have any issues meeting you in a public place. Plenty of other guys on here who would be more than amenable to whatever first social meet you would suggest. Do what suits you and nothing else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

Sweet Jesus

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

Sweet Jesus "

Tibshelf services?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree that there’s something not quite right, and you’d be right to walk away.

Consider the alternative though, I see the best in people.

Perhaps he just wants to take you for a slap up hot Ginsters Pasty meal deal, before giving you the best 30 seconds you’ve ever had, in one of the vacant cubicles. # Romanceaintdeadyet.

Sweet Jesus

Tibshelf services?

I’m on my way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Definitely not too sensitive - massive avoid for me.

And seriously, what guy suggests meeting at what is effectively a petrol station? I'm really not sure that counts as a social!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No avoid whay your not comfortable with

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

Red flag !!, not too sensitive at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you are not being too sensitive. Its your natural gut instinct warning you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otBrunetteHimCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

Why wouldn’t a man want to go out of his way to make sure you feel safe and comfortable around him? Surly a first meet would be the most important as if that’s a disaster then it’s the only one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 02/05/22 08:54:04]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Wow! No you’re not being sensitive. Get rid!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your gut instinct is almost always right.. already shown his true colours.. you are not being overly sensitive at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

You are quite within your rights to refuse o/p. In this case and based on the information you have posted, I'd give this a miss.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you are not being sensitive at all, I would not be happy either.

If he's not going to make an effort now then help potential future meets with this man.

Sorry, you are worth more than that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion if he isn't making an effort and coming closer then why bother with him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Nope. I’d never agree to meet like that- where is the appeal in that?

You set out where to meet and if he doesn’t want to go, it’s his loss.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"
. You are not been sensitive why should you have to drive 50 minutes after a long day at work to a service station are you not worth a coffee , pub meal or restaurant meal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Wow! No you’re not being sensitive. Get rid!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't do anything that's you're not comfortable with

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

No you're not being too sensitive. I imagine by looking at your location that 50 min drive isn't an easy one on rural roads either.

If he's not willing to compromise on distance on a social, he's unlikely to when it comes to future meetings. Essentially making it unsustainable for yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. Get rid

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Another vote for him being a cockwomble.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Aside the distance thing, is the safety thing. It's much safer to meet inside the services in the coffee shop (actual coffee optional) and I would never allow a stranger to work out my car and registration, just in case, I'd park and want to move away from the car to meet them, for example, inside the coffee shop! Definitely do not agree to meet!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't think you're being sensitive of unreasonable but I also don't think it's worth getting upset over or going back and forth if he's unwilling. Just wish him well and move on to find someone you're more on the same page with. I know it may be dissapointing but this is only someone you've been speaking to for a few days. And for the record, the idea that meeting for coffee makes it a date makes me roll my eyes so hard I may strain something.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Would go with gut instinct, better of binning him fully tbh..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Neither of you have to do anything you don't want to where this is concerned. The two of you seem to have different ideas about meeting and that's fine. It just means you're not compatible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

He sounds like one of the many, many little boys on here who tell you they'll meet for a social, but actually try to manoeuvre the situation so that they can get noshed off in their car.

I have 3 words of advice;

Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annyDanielleMan
over a year ago

Street, Somerset

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

A guy who just wants a quick fuck under the premise of it being more, and without wanting to put any effort in, cheek.

Bin this one, you can do better.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?

He sounds like one of the many, many little boys on here who tell you they'll meet for a social, but actually try to manoeuvre the situation so that they can get noshed off in their car.

I have 3 words of advice;

Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!"

Yes. That's what I was thinking too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he can't spare 30 mins for a coffee and a chat to see if the spark is there in person it's his loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you're not being too sensitive. I wouldn't meet anyone in their car either. If he can't compromise then he's not worth it. Stay safe OP x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

He says it all really.

His message should be translated to...

I'm a selfish twat who can't be bothered making any effort and unless you want to do things my way, I'm not really interested.

My advice, give him a large swerve.

I'd recommend attending a social or a club and chat to guys who have actually made the effort to go somewhere.

Once you have met a few guys it's not terribly hard to see why they are single.

Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The guy has clearly said how he wants things to be. That's surely better than agreeing to something he's never going to accept and either letting the op down or worse attempting to change things once they meet. Yet still he's a bad guy. I sometimes think single men can't do right for doing wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have ways of meeting that is comfortable to us. It won't be the same for everyone so if you both have different ideas then you aren't compatible. I wouldn't compromise anything for a first meet. Ever. Next please!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acystacey OP Woman
over a year ago

Ceredigion

"You've both laid out what you're comfortable with and it's not fair for either side to change that. A phone call is probably better to feel each other out first, then discuss meeting again when you both feel more comfortable."

I tried the phone call route. Apparently he doesn't have a personal phone as he has a work one but can't give his number out

he is well and truly binned!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

That was my thought too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

That was my thought too "

Or he would suggest going into the hotel at the mentioned service station where he would contribute £20 for the room and ask you to shout the other £50….

One for the can lady….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. Red flags galore. Give him a swerve.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

Miss Marple!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

This. Red flags galore. Give him a swerve. "

Yes ^^^

Move on… you’re not being sensitive at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"

no 100% stick to what you want

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

Definately not too sensitive, in fact sounds perfectly positive and sensible to say no. Why should you make all the effort as it should be at least 50/50 on the effort side, in fact he should be make more of an effort and a compromise. Stay well clear xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sensitivity isn't in question here. You are not too sensitive or being too sensitive.

If you are uncertain or uncomfortable doing something then do not do it. There are stories enough about people, particularly single women that chill us to the bone. Please do not take that kind of risk ever.

A service station is quite public - at the services itself though not in the car park. A proper coffee shop in a town centre is better as the footprint is lighter and it is more likely that you will be remembered. Service stations get thousands more visitors each day that faces blur into one.

Please, please, please be safe first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my perspective(Mr), he should be doing everything he can to put your mind at rest, he is doing the opposite.

Expecting you do travel 2.5 times further than you and on his terms, that comes across as very self absorbed.

With the little effort he's willing to put in, don't expect too much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Lucky you! What a charmer. Lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I'd just not meet him to be honest I'd cancel it now.

Exactly this. Everyone I social with comes to me. Like it or lump it. I need to feel safe and comfortable. Majority of men completely respect that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I tried the phone call route. Apparently he doesn't have a personal phone as he has a work one but can't give his number out

he is well and truly binned! "

What a load of bollocks. Definitely dodgy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Sounds like a married man hoping for a blow job in his car. He can't drive too far because his wife will wonder where he's been.

Miss Marple!

Speaking from experience, unfortunately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he can't be bothered to meet you half way and expects to to do most of the travelling and won't go to a coffee shop.

That's your answer, you're not being oversensitive, it's because he wants the se and you've been chatting.

It's just you thinking could I miss out on a decent fb, as said if he can't meet you half way he doesn't deserve your time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not your safety comes first if your not comfortable with it don't meet he should understand in this day an age safety first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say you had lucky escape not meeting him. It sounds like he wanted to try on more with you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you do what you feel is the safest x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Sounds like a right tight arse who doesn't want to put his hand in his pocket and buy the lady a coffee and expects you to drive twice the distance, so definately tight with his fuel too!

But on a serious note I'd avoid if his not willing to meet in a more public space!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been chatting to a guy the last few days. He seems nice and genuine enough. He is looking for a regular fwb as am I.

We get to talking about meeting up for a social. He suggests the services 50 mins from me and 20 mins from him.

I said I'd rather not drive that far after a long day at work. Could we meet at a coffee shop half way.

He says it's not a date as such and can't face a coffee date so he is only happy to meet at the services.

I now assume that he doesn't want to go in for a coffee just have a chat in the car.

I'd feel more comfortable to meet in a coffee shop and not in the car. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Am I being too sensitive?"
sounds dodgy and if he were genuine he would at least meet some were halfway x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Well, it certainly looks like you've found the right place for some free advice, whatever the various motivations behind it being given!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Well, it certainly looks like you've found the right place for some free advice, whatever the various motivations behind it being given!"

Wha?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I don’t think you’re being sensitive. It should be something that suits you both by agreement.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I’d be giving this chappy a miss, he really doesn’t sound like much of a catch to me, all seems a little suspicious, especially not giving you his phone number. Just on a safety point I wouldn’t meet somebody I had chatted with for a couple of days on here on my own at a service station far from home and knowing nothing about them but maybe I’ve watched too many dramas

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

It’s a no from me and it’s a no from them

Don’t bother luv

Something sounds dodgy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you've told him we're to go by now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread