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I want you to put your hand down.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The side or back of your sofa and tell me what's there.

Inspired by me dropping a screw down the back of a customer's sofa, putting my hand down there and pulling out a set of keys they thought they had lost some months ago.

If it's money it's mine

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Or the weirdest thing you've found

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nuts. It’s always my nuts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea "

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nuts. It’s always my nuts. "

Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers."

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.

Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?"

I throw them in my mouth and miss every night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A dog biscuit

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

The last time I did that I pulled out the tv remote control that I had lost and replaced

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Nothing down my side. The lads side, three pencils, two pens, a bottle top, £2.58 and 6 magnetic bars

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By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

Oooh no thanks dread to think what I will find….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hair grips

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By *alaciousCurvesWoman
over a year ago

Gainsborough

A fucktonne of crumbs and fluff

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Chuck Norris

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Cleaned mine yesterday.

Where I sit 2 hair grips a few broken bits of crisps and some biscuit crumbs.

Where my son sits three screws 4 bolts and £1.50.

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen


"Cleaned mine yesterday.

Where I sit 2 hair grips a few broken bits of crisps and some biscuit crumbs.

Where my son sits three screws 4 bolts and £1.50.

"

Does he fix his motorbike in the lounge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Power Bank and €3.50 best day of my life

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ..."

I once found a live mole in my living room! No sign of a tunnel so I assume it was the cats

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

A pair of scissors. I'm baffled.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"The side or back of your sofa and tell me what's there.

Inspired by me dropping a screw down the back of a customer's sofa, putting my hand down there and pulling out a set of keys they thought they had lost some months ago.

If it's money it's mine "

Mind you don't get stuck like they do in porn movies and find the only way to release yourself is for someone to come and have sex with you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The last time I did that I pulled out the tv remote control that I had lost and replaced "

I've done exactly the same thing a couple of years ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A dog biscuit "

I hope you actually have a dog

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Dog toys usually x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.

Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?

I throw them in my mouth and miss every night. "

You've clearly got a small mouth

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ..."

The frog is just about understandable, but the mole

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Chuck Norris"

How big is your chuffing sofa?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The side or back of your sofa and tell me what's there.

Inspired by me dropping a screw down the back of a customer's sofa, putting my hand down there and pulling out a set of keys they thought they had lost some months ago.

If it's money it's mine

Mind you don't get stuck like they do in porn movies and find the only way to release yourself is for someone to come and have sex with you."

Well I did try waving my arse around for 10 minutes but the customer wouldn't have a bar of it, the dog though

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Nothing, I rarely sit in my living room x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing... i have to remove the cushons or my dog pisses on it!

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Normally my elegant phone or remote control

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hair grips "

Something else that appears everywhere, I was forever hoovering those damn things up when I lived with my ex.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I once found a decomposing pig trotter Came downstairs one morning to a smell that was more horrendous than the usual dog farts, and after a bit of searching found said pig trotter that I thought pooch had eaten when I gave it to her...instead she'd "buried" it down the side of the sofa cushion Sometimes dogs are just knobheads!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.

Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?

I throw them in my mouth and miss every night.

You've clearly got a small mouth"

This maybe true, or a shocking aim.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A pair of scissors. I'm baffled."

Were they yours?

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Normally my phone or remote control wallet

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By *ppydayzzMan
over a year ago

Leighton Buzzard

Found a Cadbury’s cream egg that wasn’t discovered in the Easter egg hunt, I’m having it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I once found a decomposing pig trotter Came downstairs one morning to a smell that was more horrendous than the usual dog farts, and after a bit of searching found said pig trotter that I thought pooch had eaten when I gave it to her...instead she'd "buried" it down the side of the sofa cushion Sometimes dogs are just knobheads! "

And the winner is....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.

Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?

I throw them in my mouth and miss every night.

You've clearly got a small mouth

This maybe true, or a shocking aim. "

It's your mouth

You could get your nuts into somebody else's mouth first time I bet.

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By *aveed74Man
over a year ago

a round and a bout Midlands

A very skimpy and see through black thong. Must be the folk who owned the sofa beforehand or.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wally. Finally found the cu*t.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Sitting on my special work chair, I looked like a right tit reaching down into the vacant space beside me

We've found peas and bits of Lego down our sofa. Nothing seriously grim or weird.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Not a thing ocd

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...

I once found a live mole in my living room! No sign of a tunnel so I assume it was the cats "

I hope it was our cats too. The poor mole didn't know what was going on

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"A pair of scissors. I'm baffled.

Were they yours?"

I don't know. Don't remember them. But probably...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...

The frog is just about understandable, but the mole "

we did live on a farm at the time

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

I've found the odd crisp or silver pen I'd thought I'd lost in the past....

One of my Aunt's regularly had her cushions up on the sofa to look for pennies or two pence's.

When I went round her bum was in the air - cushions everywhere. This act always made me laugh cos I thought what a tight wad!!!

Comes into the category of " God always loves a trier!" LOL.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...

The frog is just about understandable, but the mole

we did live on a farm at the time "

Ahh! That and the cat puts it into perspective, I thought you might be into Chinese medicine or something. A shark fin, a bit of bat wing and a pinch of mole, should clear that right up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sitting on my special work chair, I looked like a right tit reaching down into the vacant space beside me

We've found peas and bits of Lego down our sofa. Nothing seriously grim or weird."

But you did it anyway

Thank you

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

A peanut! I had a snack of mixed nuts and dried fruit last night. I did not eat the peanut by the way.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Not much, I vacuumed it recently

LvM

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea

The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.

They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .

We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...

The frog is just about understandable, but the mole

we did live on a farm at the time

Ahh! That and the cat puts it into perspective, I thought you might be into Chinese medicine or something. A shark fin, a bit of bat wing and a pinch of mole, should clear that right up. "

Ah no that's a recipe from my book of Shadows...

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis


"Not much, I vacuumed it recently

LvM"

What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My remote I’ve been looking all over for that

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Not much, I vacuumed it recently

LvM

What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.

"

Upon further inspection of the couch I noticed K stuck face down between the cushions. I can only presume she was trying to help you out (though that doesn't explain the moaning). Fortunately my years of porn research have prepared me on the ideal way of getting women unstuck from household objects. I'll get you both off in a jiffy... out, I'll get you both out...

LvM

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis


"Not much, I vacuumed it recently

LvM

What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.

Upon further inspection of the couch I noticed K stuck face down between the cushions. I can only presume she was trying to help you out (though that doesn't explain the moaning). Fortunately my years of porn research have prepared me on the ideal way of getting women unstuck from household objects. I'll get you both off in a jiffy... out, I'll get you both out...

LvM"

Thank goodness you can spring into action and get us off. Out. Get us out.

I was stuck in the washing machine for ages the other day waiting for the plumber to help.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Not much, I vacuumed it recently

LvM

What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.

Upon further inspection of the couch I noticed K stuck face down between the cushions. I can only presume she was trying to help you out (though that doesn't explain the moaning). Fortunately my years of porn research have prepared me on the ideal way of getting women unstuck from household objects. I'll get you both off in a jiffy... out, I'll get you both out...

LvM

Thank goodness you can spring into action and get us off. Out. Get us out.

I was stuck in the washing machine for ages the other day waiting for the plumber to help. "

Happy to help, now you two go and rest up in bed while I get some cock for you. Cake. Get some cake... and probably cock too let's be honest.

Oh no! I do hope he was just as well trained as I and managed to get you unstuck, and sort out your pipes...

LvM

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Dog hairs. It's always just dog hairs as no one else rarely sits on my sofas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dignity

Can someone help me find it?

Or another human being that was terrifying wasn’t my sofa though.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Before getting rid of old sofas I tell my children to cut open the bottoms, tip them up and check for lost keys, pens, money etc.

Once we found a whole set of keys and fobs, loads of lighters and almost £20 in change, from a 3 and 2 seater.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another hand feeling around for mine...

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