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advice needed...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just recently I've acquired a lodger who seems nice enough but I've got a feeling there is something about him that's annoying me...

I've got so used to living alone that things like his toothbrush in the same cup as mine made me feel physically sick, him sitting on my sofa with his feet up just didn't feel right... Even down to the smell of his aftershave I dont like...

Do you think I'm nit picking here...

At the moment I'm telling myself just think of the money, but is it enough?

Oh I don't know what to do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just recently I've acquired a lodger who seems nice enough but I've got a feeling there is something about him that's annoying me...

I've got so used to living alone that things like his toothbrush in the same cup as mine made me feel physically sick, him sitting on my sofa with his feet up just didn't feel right... Even down to the smell of his aftershave I dont like...

Do you think I'm nit picking here...

At the moment I'm telling myself just think of the money, but is it enough?

Oh I don't know what to do...

"

Go with your gut feeling, do what you need to do

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Trust me I have had a lodger for a while and it sometimes grates on you.. I am lucky he is my best friend... So I can tell him when he is being a willy wonker...

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

I think it's called intrusion.......very difficult to share what was once totally yours......just a guess

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Is his rent a necessity?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMHO, if your lodger managed to annoy/irritate you so soon after the start of the tenancy, it will only get worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ha ha stuff like that drives me mad anyway ... especially leaving the microwave door open ???

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Just recently I've acquired a lodger who seems nice enough but I've got a feeling there is something about him that's annoying me...

I've got so used to living alone that things like his toothbrush in the same cup as mine made me feel physically sick, him sitting on my sofa with his feet up just didn't feel right... Even down to the smell of his aftershave I dont like...

Do you think I'm nit picking here...

At the moment I'm telling myself just think of the money, but is it enough?

Oh I don't know what to do...

"
I think it sounds like the lodger is infringing on your personal space, the thing with the tooth brush is completely not on at all.

You could try and have a conversation with him, asking him how he thinks things are going and then say how you feel what needs to change. If that does not work... find another lodger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It does feel like an intrusion in my privacy and the rent at the moment is a nesscercity as had to take a cut in pay...

I'm going to grin and bare it and see how I get on...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/10/12 21:36:12]

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

have had lodgers for years and the things u describe wud not bother me in the least however maybe that is something that i have learnt to live with ova the years i dont know .. however i did live on my own for years and do remember thinking to myself ' i cud neva share this space with anyone' so how ive come to arrive at my so laid back attitude is a wee bit beyond me on thinking about it

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

toothbrush... seems ok to me

sitting comfy... seems ok to me as long as his feet aren't on the furniture

aftershave... not to your liking... bordering petty

if you need his rent, you will need to be flexible as he will notice. I wouldn't stay if i thought I wasn't welcome.

chat it thro.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"toothbrush... seems ok to me

sitting comfy... seems ok to me as long as his feet aren't on the furniture

aftershave... not to your liking... bordering petty

if you need his rent, you will need to be flexible as he will notice. I wouldn't stay if i thought I wasn't welcome.

chat it thro.

"

Sums up perfectly how I see things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have taken in lodgers for 4 years now, have been lucky and only had a couple of people who we just didnt get along with. Did ask them to leave after a while though as they were being inconsiderate to the others in the house. You do have to get along with someone to share your house though. We advertise at the local uni, always a great demand and we know of a really good website to advertise on, message us if you want the name of the site

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"toothbrush... seems ok to me

sitting comfy... seems ok to me as long as his feet aren't on the furniture

aftershave... not to your liking... bordering petty

if you need his rent, you will need to be flexible as he will notice. I wouldn't stay if i thought I wasn't welcome.

chat it thro.

Sums up perfectly how I see things "

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of it; it is very difficult to 'live' with someone when you have been alone for a long time. I had 3 months when my son and his girlfriend moved to Liverpool, thoroughly enjoyed the peace, his girlfriend moved back down here and stayed at mine, hated it as she is so messy and selfish, parents have lots of money so my gas bill went through the roof, made me so stressed I suffered from patch alopecia for a while, then she moved out and son moved back in. I know its obviously different but having the extra money he gives me, helps me loads and I just get on with it.

Have a word with him, maybe put an extra cup in the bathroom for his things, explain that you are just finding it a little difficult, it's your home and you need to set some ground rules

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I didn't think I'd find it this hard, I think I just got use to my own company in my own space...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could never have a lodger. I like my own space too much. Shared with friends in the past which wasn't too bad. But never could with a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn't think I'd find it this hard, I think I just got use to my own company in my own space..."

If you are used to your own space... Naturally you will find it hard to adjust and relearn to compromise... Give him a chance....

As ever View says it more succinctly than I do...

Good luck...

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