FabSwingers.com forum: The most contradictory aspect of Fab!

By *rivateGuy2019 OP Man
over a year ago

Cardiff

I have been on Fab for some time now and it is the most wonderful site with the most wonderful people. However, there is one question that continues to perplex me. It is such a prudish and unbelievably closeted aspect of Fab. Why are there so many many couples with a Straight Male and Bi Female? The statistics of the general population suggest that the incidence of such relationships is conceivably higher in general life. Why is it that Fab women can declare their interest in Bi play but it continues to be so difficult for men to admit this aspect of themselves in the 21st century?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live and let bi.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Maybe because the men just don't want to. Life is complex

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

People often ridicule the posts from Essex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So your saying its like a virus the stats say you should catch then? Im a bit lost

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By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot

"Live and let bi.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.

The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.

In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.

I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men are straight.

Some bi men seem to think all men are bi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People often ridicule the posts from Essex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?"

It's a no from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres me thinking you got to choose who you fuck hmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many bi women are not bi. They pretend to be bi to turn men on and put on a show.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Maybe just maybe these men are straight and have nothing to admit.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

More women are bi than men

Case closed

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"People often ridicule the posts from Essex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?"

Erm no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.

The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.

In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.

I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points"

I agree. I think a woman could kiss another woman and label herself bi as it’s cool. And it’s seen cooler

But a guy would feel different about that label.

Ultimately I feel straight guys have it hard when it comes to labels that make them seem different or other-ised.

Like the whole debacle of why some men might feel insecure and judged by others for dating a girl of trans experience. And the whole can of worm opens “Is he still straight, Is he bi, Is he gay?”

Yes hunny, you are still straight.

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By *lack4WhiteFemMan
over a year ago

Closer 2 U

Perhaps the men are shy hahaa.

Seriously, I think its more fun and women have a lot more energy and stamina

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.

If more men came out as heterosexual it would help to take away some of the stigma.

Being straight is genetic, they were born that way. They can't help it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.

If more men came out as heterosexual it would help to take away some of the stigma.

Being straight is genetic, they were born that way. They can't help it.

so much stigma

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

According to the 2017 census a higher percentage of men identify as gay than women identify as lesbian, but more women than men identify as bi. But overall the number of men and women identifying as not straight us probably similar.

So perhaps it's not that men are afraid to say they're bi, it's just that the ones who like cock find it so delicious there's no going back

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

*is broadly similar

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Women son’t like the peen, instead they join us in wanting the vageen

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By *heArrowsCouple
over a year ago

My wife loves kissing women and feeling boobs. And when she's super turned on she can perform oral sex on a woman.

But she's not bi. She can look at a woman and find her attractive but (unfortunately for me) she never looks at a woman with desire.

Maybe if we had started this life 20 years ago she would feel differently. Maybe. Or maybe she just likes kissing women and that's ok.

There are lots of men on here who are bi. And they hide it because there is a stigma. Men's sexuality isn't a simple thing and can't be categorised by a simple on/off label. We are conditioned to see homosexeaulity as other and it can be hard to get past that.

I'm straight. Never kissed a man. I can't say I never had the urge to kiss one. If I notice a guy is good looking... does that mean I have been lying all my life? If I enjoyed the fact that a bi guy cleaned my cum from my wife's pussy ... does that mean I'm bi?

No. It just means I'm human.

A lot of the bi women on here are like my wife. Bi is something they can do rather than be. Pillow princesses who will accept pleasure or perform for their partners but if it was just the two ladies present they would just as easily watch a movie with some wine.

If they feel like they are fab bi that's fine. No one should judge them.

Similarly if there are guys out there who for their own reasons want to be seen as straight even tho they might like a hand job from a guy, that's fine. Fab straight men have that right to identify as they see fit

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Maybe, because kissing tits and having a fumble with a pussy isn't that bad for a straight woman who wants please her man.

Or, many men would like to play with a penis but are too scared to admit it.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"My wife loves kissing women and feeling boobs. And when she's super turned on she can perform oral sex on a woman.

But she's not bi. She can look at a woman and find her attractive but (unfortunately for me) she never looks at a woman with desire.

Maybe if we had started this life 20 years ago she would feel differently. Maybe. Or maybe she just likes kissing women and that's ok.

No. It just means I'm human.

If they feel like they are fab bi that's fine. No one should judge them.

I probably should have read this before I commented.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People often ridicule the posts from Essex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?"

Tom is not bi but he’ll probably report that alligators are in a few weeks.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"Perhaps the men are shy hahaa.

Seriously, I think its more fun and women have a lot more energy and stamina

You Sir, appear to have a whole in the bottom of your shorts.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

If I was a bi man looking for men I would probably use FabGuys rather than FabSwingers.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"It's not prudish or closeted to be heterosexual, OP.

If more men came out as heterosexual it would help to take away some of the stigma.

Being straight is genetic, they were born that way. They can't help it.

It's true, I took a microscope to a straight guy's dong once and the cells spelled out 'No Homo', it's the only way to be sure

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You Sir, appear to have a whole in the bottom of your shorts."

A whole what ?

Stilton cheese ?

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

You Sir, appear to have a whole in the bottom of your shorts.

A whole what ?

Stilton cheese ?"

A whole lotta something, that's for sure.

Was distracted

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By *illynillyCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"I have been on Fab for some time now and it is the most wonderful site with the most wonderful people. However, there is one question that continues to perplex me. It is such a prudish and unbelievably closeted aspect of Fab. Why are there so many many couples with a Straight Male and Bi Female? The statistics of the general population suggest that the incidence of such relationships is conceivably higher in general life. Why is it that Fab women can declare their interest in Bi play but it continues to be so difficult for men to admit this aspect of themselves in the 21st century?"

We are that couple simply because he is straight...not the slightest hint of being bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the adage 90% of women are either gay or bisexual but the other 10% just haven’t tried yet a truism or just wishful thinking?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've lost count of the number of forum posts that tell me as a straight man that I'm closeminded or scared to explore my sexuality. The truth is that I embrace my heterosexuality.

Many people assume that all women are bi or bi curious and when a woman states that she is straight in a forum post the general consensus is that she should not be shamed into being anything else.

When a man says it, a increasingly large part of this community are quick to jump in with a "yeah right".

No-one should have to justify their sexuality.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Why is being straight now being seen as prudish and closeted.

I'm straight and I've no interest in playing with women but I get asked by couple to meet and play with the female they send me female pics trying to entice me to and when I point out I'm straight I have been told in the past they would make me bi.

Of course on here there are people who are bi but say they are straight and visa versa it's always been the way on here. But people's choices should be respected and not seen as prudish. And I'm finding recently it's almost like straight people are not believed when they say they are not bi and almost shamed for their choice as well.

Surely it's easier to concentrate on finding those that are compatible to what you are looking for than looking for ways to put others who aren't down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No-one should have to justify their sexuality. "

Bingo. Just do you. Surely none thinks about their own sexuality that much

Its not what defines an individual

I know Ive always liked men and I see myself as straight, sure sometimes maybe I wonder what it’d be like to kiss a woman in a MFF scenario… would I like it?

I don’t know, but it’s like me wondering what’s gonna be for dinner tonight. Or actually less… cos I think about what’s gonna be for dinner a LOT

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.

The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.

In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.

I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points"

That’s a good answer, I bet on here it’s skewed even further because many of the bi women aren’t even bi but swinging lifestyle puts pressure to conform to men’s fantasies

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"People often ridicule the posts from Wessex Tom and he wondered why this was. All he does is report interesting news stories about current affairs. Could the answer be that he is bi?

It's a no from me."

•

Who pray tell is Wessex Tom??

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"There are whole social and psychological theses written in this subject, OP. It’s far too complex to go into in detail.

The basics are; stigma and the male sexual gaze.

In society as a whole, female bisexuality is seen as performative and sexualised by guys, male bisexuality is seen as emasculating and dirty.

I’m massively generalising here and could go into far more depth but those are the bullet points

That’s a good answer, I bet on here it’s skewed even further because many of the bi women aren’t even bi but swinging lifestyle puts pressure to conform to men’s fantasies "

I've seen single women change from straight to bi-curious and back again on their profile based on who they are chatting to at the time.

Some of those have admitted in pm's they use it as a ploy and some have said they are disgusted when they see pics of other women together or wearing a strap-on but are happy to openly flirt on the forums with other women.

As I said above no-one should have to justify their sexuality but don't play with or abuse other peoples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"More women are bi than men

Case closed "

No according to bi-rooms on here and other websites I go on

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Go to Fabguys, it's stuffed with bi men. Easily over half the site imo. It's good fun there, but the angry marrieds can piss you off on the forum sometimes.

When it comes to couples profiles I've seen both on Fabswingers (but I suppose I would) and I don't see why men are necessarian hiding anything tbh (and I'm a bisexual who sees bisexuality as the last great sexual taboo!). Imo this place works best when ppl are brutally honest tbh, and I think most people learn that. At least they are not saying it to be PC!

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