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Love or Limerence?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennnov. It is the obsessive infatuation of people that fall in love quickly and will do anything to make the relationship work out. It can look like adopting someone's hobbies and interests to feel closer to that person, feeling anxious that they haven't been in touch, to taking any opportunity to spend time with that person, even if it means cancelling your plans or letting friends and family down. It might feel like real love but actually it's more of an obsession and wanting that person whether you have things in common with them or not or whether or not the feelings of attraction are reciprocated.

Do you recognise these behaviours in yourself? How did you get over it? Or have you experienced being the object of someone's infatuation? Was the person too intense? Did they scare you off? Do you ever ask yourself whether it's love or limerence to try to ensure that your romantic attachments are healthy?

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Not something I've ever done or experienced. Sounds pretty intense and fucked up though.

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By *reamblueMan
over a year ago

London


"Limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennnov. It is the obsessive infatuation of people that fall in love quickly and will do anything to make the relationship work out. It can look like adopting someone's hobbies and interests to feel closer to that person, feeling anxious that they haven't been in touch, to taking any opportunity to spend time with that person, even if it means cancelling your plans or letting friends and family down. It might feel like real love but actually it's more of an obsession and wanting that person whether you have things in common with them or not or whether or not the feelings of attraction are reciprocated.

Do you recognise these behaviours in yourself? How did you get over it? Or have you experienced being the object of someone's infatuation? Was the person too intense? Did they scare you off? Do you ever ask yourself whether it's love or limerence to try to ensure that your romantic attachments are healthy? "

You what? You mean not everyone is like that? Describes me perfectly

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Potentially yes.

Brief I know but it's a simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of but not really more the being away from not hearing from part maybe i didnt get over that part of it never will il always wonder how shes doing and worry from time to time the last couple years or so has proven that at the minimum but i simply care is all just like having a kid live the other side of the world you never get to speak to

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Only the intense school first love crush, when you doodle your names together in love hearts and imagine getting married etc, was fun going through the old home form book and looking through all the crushes I'd had over the last year

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