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Understanding

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

As the humans that we are (yes, even you), we look for connections, for others like ourselves, for those that ‘get’ us. In short for understanding from others.

It’s this which forms the basis for most friendships, successful and rewarding relationships and interactions in life.

It’s difficult to define but when we have it, it’s wonderful.

Do you feel that people understand you, that you are seen by those around you? Is it something that you seek from others and most important, do you seek to understand others in their lives and emotions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/04/22 07:14:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People don’t often see me. As in really see me for who I am and what the consequences of my experiences might be.

Being seen and/ or understood is so important to me.

One person who has always seen me and loved me is my partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel the only person 2ho fully understands me these days is my husband. He is the only person where I can truly be myself.

Unfortunately my family are quit judgemental. I have a circle of great friends who I get on brilliantly with but I'm always slightly reserved with as they too can be judgemental of others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People don’t often see me. As in really see me for who I am and what the consequences of my experiences might be.

Being seen and/ or understood is so important to me.

One person who has always seen me and loved me is my partner. "

Also other than my partner only like two people get the references I make to memes or vines or tik tok or movies or tv shows. They’re my RODs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only want to laugh and laugh when im not busy keep it simple then folks understand and if they dont they dont i dont have the freedom of time to be more than i am if im not allowed be the man i want to be i will have to make do with the time i have

Drivel

Drivel

Drivel

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

For decades I assumed that people didn't see me or get me unless they were looking for something.

Then I went though a period of getting others and understanding them without it being reciprocated.

Now I'm at a point where I only have time for those that do get me or understand where I am and those are the people I'm most comfortable with.

It's a two way street and doesn't require any effort when you understand people.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Not many do but those that do really do.

I think I’m very marmite.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Not many do but those that do really do.

I think I’m very marmite. "

Made from old beer and smell funny?

That’s a weird thing to be proud of!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Not many do but those that do really do.

I think I’m very marmite.

Made from old beer and smell funny?

That’s a weird thing to be proud of!

"

I’m weird. What can I say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about you OP?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

My inner circle understand me and I understand them, takes a lot for me to crack open the walls and let someone new in.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What about you OP? "

I’m not sure that many people understand me, no. Maybe one or two at a push.

I always try to understand others and take them into consideration, accept them as they are, so it hurts when it’s not a two way street

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple answer no. Very few ask enough questions to try to understand all about me. ( maybe one or two did get close)

It’s not that I hide away anything, I would be a pretty open book, but I find most people are shallow. (Sorry but I do). Social media anyway.

People I know outside the net are more inclined to get to know more about a person because a conversation flows much more fluidly and you can chase interesting parts of someone quicker and in more depth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is only 1 person that truly knows me inside out and she knows me better than I know myself at times Its not always the people you spend most of your time with who know you best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I'm very good at understanding people. I don't have that natural insight that some people do. No, I don't think anyone understands me fully.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Do you feel that people understand you that you are seen by those around you?....

Only 1 or 2 people do as I don't allow really anyone to get that close.

Is it something that you seek from others.....

Definitely don't seek it.

Do you seek to understand others in their lives and emotions?

I gave up trying to understand people years ago...they are far to complex x"

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

Few people have been open enough to really know me, or want to know all of me. I'm complex and come with no filters, you need to have a pretty open mind to get to know me!

My closest friends, the birds from here, know me completely and love me for who I am, their unconditional love is amazing! Probably only 3 or 4 partners have 'known' me on here, but generally I'd hold a bit of me back if meeting.

Cherry x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I think seeking to understanding another completely is a bit of a pointless endeavour. Plus why would you want to?

I personally think it's more important to have empathy and time to listen to your friends. Give them insight on how you go about things. One of my bestest mates I've known decades, we don't understand each others logic the majority of the time. But what we do do is listen to each other. Give the other our perspective which is invaluable.

Who knows the real me? How can anyone know anyone else truly? Even I've been surprised with some of my own actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very few people know me or ‘see’ me; colleagues a bit I suppose. No friends or social group to know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all project a different version of ourselves to others based on how well we know them. Only the ones you give yourself completely too can truely understand you. Otherwise people make judgements on their experiences which becomes their understanding and assumption on you, not real connections.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My job requires that I remain unseen and to use intuition to gauge another's behaviour. I am seen, superficially, and appreciated by my employers and that is enough for me.

I don't seek to be understood or to understand the world. I am very happy with that.

It may also explain why I have remained a bachelor all my life.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I think it's impossible for us ever to totally understand someone else as their struggles and triumphs will be so different. All we can do is listen when they talk and take it all on board and show as much empathy as possible.

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My job requires that I remain unseen and to use intuition to gauge another's behaviour. I am seen, superficially, and appreciated by my employers and that is enough for me.

I don't seek to be understood or to understand the world. I am very happy with that.

It may also explain why I have remained a bachelor all my life."

Ooh mysterious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think seeking to understanding another completely is a bit of a pointless endeavour. Plus why would you want to?

I personally think it's more important to have empathy and time to listen to your friends. Give them insight on how you go about things. One of my bestest mates I've known decades, we don't understand each others logic the majority of the time. But what we do do is listen to each other. Give the other our perspective which is invaluable.

Who knows the real me? How can anyone know anyone else truly? Even I've been surprised with some of my own actions. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all project a different version of ourselves to others based on how well we know them. Only the ones you give yourself completely too can truely understand you. Otherwise people make judgements on their experiences which becomes their understanding and assumption on you, not real connections."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I reveal as much as I want that person to know and it's generally dependant on how open they are with me first as I think I fear judgement to them being put off especially if I think we would get on.

I know I should think that if they do judge then they aren't for me, but it's hard to shake that need to be accepted and liked by everyone you meet until you yourself can make the decision on whether you get along if that makes sense?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Great question, OP!

I think the majority of us (sweeping generalisation alert) don't fully understand ourselves. Often we don't even want to - who wants to look at the ugly parts of themselves? So following on, I think it's practically impossible to fully understand another person.

That doesn't mean that there aren't people in our lives who we connect with, form deep bonds with, share intimate things with. But we are such complex creatures I think fully understanding another is a mirage.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not many do but those that do really do.

I think I’m very marmite. "

Can I eat you on toast?

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great question, OP!

I think the majority of us (sweeping generalisation alert) don't fully understand ourselves. Often we don't even want to - who wants to look at the ugly parts of themselves? So following on, I think it's practically impossible to fully understand another person.

That doesn't mean that there aren't people in our lives who we connect with, form deep bonds with, share intimate things with. But we are such complex creatures I think fully understanding another is a mirage.

Mrs TMN x"

Often we don't want to .... probably some of the truest words said on here.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have one friend. We know what each other have been through in life. It's difficult to explain to other people because it just comes across as moaning. I don't actually know who I am anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have one friend. We know what each other have been through in life. It's difficult to explain to other people because it just comes across as moaning. I don't actually know who I am anymore."

You're back!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

To answer the OP (sorry I realise I have strayed!) I would say rather than seeking to understand others, I more try to listen to and accept them. Doesn't always work, mind you!

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have one friend. We know what each other have been through in life. It's difficult to explain to other people because it just comes across as moaning. I don't actually know who I am anymore.

You're back!

"

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm exactly the same with everyone tbh ..

People either like me or they don't.

The ones that do I'm extremely open with and know about my life and thats a wonderful thing

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I think the only people who truly understand us both, are each other. We've known each other since we were 11, in a relationship from age 17/18 and so we know each other inside out

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