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Profile advice

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By *ustBo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

No it's not the normal thread where someone is asking for people advice on here. But more why do people give it, even when it's not asked for on here.

Especially on profiles that people find well more on the unsavoury side. I see it time and time again where people are told to take this line or that phrase out as others don't like it and it would put them off meeting the person.

Isn't that the point tho,to see profiles that actually represents the person who has the profile and what they are looking for,rather than a watered down version that might appeal to more.

Personally I prefer to see the original profile a person puts up that way I can make a proper informed decision on whether I want to interact with them or not.

I was just wondering what others think on this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Personally I try to look at the motivation behind the request. Some people genuinely struggle with the written word, some completely misunderstand the nature of the site, others just don't want to put any effort in at all. I personally don't see any harm in giving people a few pointers. I've helped people with their CV before now, how they do at the interview is entirely down to them just as I'm guessing that how they come across in messages is down to people who get help with their profile.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

People also tend to be insufferable busy bodies. It's just human nature I guess

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

I also would want to see the proper person, also their real ages and up to date pics on their profiles.

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If this is in regard to the person asking to be verified I think it was that the first sentence read like he was looking to enjoy sex with a big 8” cock. He must have agreed as the profile has been reworded

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By *ustBo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Personally I try to look at the motivation behind the request. Some people genuinely struggle with the written word, some completely misunderstand the nature of the site, others just don't want to put any effort in at all. I personally don't see any harm in giving people a few pointers. I've helped people with their CV before now, how they do at the interview is entirely down to them just as I'm guessing that how they come across in messages is down to people who get help with their profile. "

But I've seen when people have not even asked for advice and they are told to take this line or that comment out of their profile because others find it unappealing .

And yes I agree that it can be good to help some but from experience on here very few take the advice given even when they ask for help. It's why I don't bother giving advice anymore plus what appeals to me won't appeal to others.

I don't know I'm probably overthinking it.

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By *ustBo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"If this is in regard to the person asking to be verified I think it was that the first sentence read like he was looking to enjoy sex with a big 8” cock. He must have agreed as the profile has been reworded "

It's not just that thread there has been a few threads where it has happened on.

I'm not surprised he changed as he was told several bits were unappealing by women but now is it a true representation of what he does want from the site.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

What about Profile Ninjas Bo??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Personally I try to look at the motivation behind the request. Some people genuinely struggle with the written word, some completely misunderstand the nature of the site, others just don't want to put any effort in at all. I personally don't see any harm in giving people a few pointers. I've helped people with their CV before now, how they do at the interview is entirely down to them just as I'm guessing that how they come across in messages is down to people who get help with their profile.

But I've seen when people have not even asked for advice and they are told to take this line or that comment out of their profile because others find it unappealing .

And yes I agree that it can be good to help some but from experience on here very few take the advice given even when they ask for help. It's why I don't bother giving advice anymore plus what appeals to me won't appeal to others.

I don't know I'm probably overthinking it. "

Puts mod hat on. If they're advising on someone's profile without being asked they shouldn't, it's against site rules. If a mod spots it they'll get a ban. Hangs mods hat up.

I agree that people rarely take the advice given, I think they ask more because they can't believe their profile isn't working for them and asking for advice will surely make people look and immediately see the error of their ways.

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

Some people are not very good at expressing themselves,(myself included),with words.

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By *ustBo OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"What about Profile Ninjas Bo?? "

Ahhh they are usually the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I try to look at the motivation behind the request. Some people genuinely struggle with the written word, some completely misunderstand the nature of the site, others just don't want to put any effort in at all. I personally don't see any harm in giving people a few pointers. I've helped people with their CV before now, how they do at the interview is entirely down to them just as I'm guessing that how they come across in messages is down to people who get help with their profile.

But I've seen when people have not even asked for advice and they are told to take this line or that comment out of their profile because others find it unappealing .

And yes I agree that it can be good to help some but from experience on here very few take the advice given even when they ask for help. It's why I don't bother giving advice anymore plus what appeals to me won't appeal to others.

I don't know I'm probably overthinking it.

Puts mod hat on. If they're advising on someone's profile without being asked they shouldn't, it's against site rules. If a mod spots it they'll get a ban. Hangs mods hat up.

I agree that people rarely take the advice given, I think they ask more because they can't believe their profile isn't working for them and asking for advice will surely make people look and immediately see the error of their ways. "

Out of genuine interest, where does it state that a user can’t advise on someone else profile unless asked to do so?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

You’re right I’d never take profile advice and try hard not to give any. The way someone chooses to communicate is very important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go on rate mine

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Personally I try to look at the motivation behind the request. Some people genuinely struggle with the written word, some completely misunderstand the nature of the site, others just don't want to put any effort in at all. "

And people have the right to see that and choose not to interact with them because of it.

If you start re-writing it , it becomes a fake profile. Like a CV or application form done by an agency.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Puts mod hat on. If they're advising on someone's profile without being asked they shouldn't, it's against site rules. If a mod spots it they'll get a ban. Hangs mods hat up."

----Re this and the OP's criteria (of profile criticism being unasked for), I think there can be ambiguity when the thread OP (or whoever) is complaining about something that directly relates to their profile (ie how someone else has responded to the profile, or has behaved towards them in relation to reading it). It can get a bit of a grey area sometimes, as you might expect. The mod probably has to work that out.

I do accept that you can't just suddenly criticise someone's profile though. I did that on Fabguys once (as the guy was criticising me in debate) but of course I got the pretty-quick forum block for a period. But that's the rule here, I think because Fab don't want people (esp paid-up people) to be made to feel uncomfortable for being themselves, or something in that vein (I forget how they put it in the time out message).-----

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales


"go on rate mine

"

Funny but lacking dick pic's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I nust type random shit thats on my mins at the time

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Those threads annoy me when they start asking others to just write their profiles for them.

We don't know you,only you know what you want /offer etc .put a bit of effort in and you might see some results.

It's always the same people on my updates moaning no one meets them,when they have a blank shadow profile pic and 2 words on their profile.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Some people don’t realise how others will take their comments, especially the other sex

I had to tell a girl on tinder recently that her line “I’m done having loads of hookups now, ready to settle down” probably doesn’t sound very appealing to most men. She had no idea, thanked me and took it off

Written word is tricky. It can get intentions messed up

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Mine has not changed since I joined over 8 years ago.

My life changed at times, but I haven't.

Well, I got older

I really do vindicate Aristotle's "Show me the boy of 7 and I'll show you the man".

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Those threads annoy me when they start asking others to just write their profiles for them.

We don't know you,only you know what you want /offer etc .put a bit of effort in and you might see some results.

It's always the same people on my updates moaning no one meets them,when they have a blank shadow profile pic and 2 words on their profile.

"

---I tend to give advice (and try to give advice that seems to relate to them obviously), but I do wonder if I should bother sometimes. Like someone said the other day, 'if I told you what I'd do, it wouldn't be your profile it would be mine'.

But some people clearly do struggle with this on here. I think I tend to decide whether they seem genuine people or not.---

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Those threads annoy me when they start asking others to just write their profiles for them.

We don't know you,only you know what you want /offer etc .put a bit of effort in and you might see some results.

It's always the same people on my updates moaning no one meets them,when they have a blank shadow profile pic and 2 words on their profile.

---I tend to give advice (and try to give advice that seems to relate to them obviously), but I do wonder if I should bother sometimes. Like someone said the other day, 'if I told you what I'd do, it wouldn't be your profile it would be mine'.

But some people clearly do struggle with this on here. I think I tend to decide whether they seem genuine people or not.---"

Yeah I agree with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"go on rate mine

Funny but lacking dick pic's. "

i have 1 somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think your method doesn't suit us. You can learn something from reading the original profile yet the individual or couple may have little experience or not used the site for a while and so are cagey about what they write or blatantly zealous to try and show that they aren't anxious about it. The answer lies somewhere in the middle for almost all situations.

When we aren't too exhausted we will offer our opinions as that is what has been asked for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't read profiles I just see how big the tits are

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

If people genuinely struggle to sell themselves through their profile they are going to struggle just as much to live up to whatever advice they choose to accept.

I haven't seen the other thread mentioned but I have seen plenty of unsolicited profile advice given against site rules, the vast majority of it by women saying why they won't meet a particular poster because of their bio or something within it.

I don't think I've ever seen a male fabber giving profile advice to a woman but there are lots who jump on the bandwagon as soon as one person starts.

I don't give advice now even when asked for as it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference because any advice given is generic and makes the person even less unique than they were to start with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people genuinely struggle to sell themselves through their profile they are going to struggle just as much to live up to whatever advice they choose to accept.

I haven't seen the other thread mentioned but I have seen plenty of unsolicited profile advice given against site rules, the vast majority of it by women saying why they won't meet a particular poster because of their bio or something within it.

I don't think I've ever seen a male fabber giving profile advice to a woman but there are lots who jump on the bandwagon as soon as one person starts.

I don't give advice now even when asked for as it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference because any advice given is generic and makes the person even less unique than they were to start with."

Bit shit for the people who end up meeting the actual profile owner and not the amazing person the forum created for their profile text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say you can take feedbac while still being true to yourself.

Feedback helps clarify if what you are saying is what is being heard.

It also helps tell you if you are sharing the information people want to know.

But putting your straight (say) as someone told you they don't meet bi guys, that's wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve only ever seen profile advice given when it’s either asked for or it’s in reply to some bloke whinging about why no women reply to his messages or he can’t get meets.

Never seen a guy/woman/couple start a thread about something then some random chime in with ‘your profile needs this’

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I’ve only ever seen profile advice given when it’s either asked for or it’s in reply to some bloke whinging about why no women reply to his messages or he can’t get meets.

Never seen a guy/woman/couple start a thread about something then some random chime in with ‘your profile needs this’

"

Usually when the op declares that people refuse to meet them because of what they perceive to be the issue and without fail someone will tell them it's probably got nothing to do with that and everything to do with their lack of pics, wrong type of pics, status update, short bio, sydney university warning, certain words or phrases, not able to accommodate and so on and so forth.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales


"go on rate mine

Funny but lacking dick pic's.

i have 1 somewhere"

A pic?

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