FabSwingers.com forum: Being on your own for far too long

By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Just read what tongue in groove wrote about being on his own for far too long and wanting to see where things go on his successful date.. Well myself I have been thinking the exact same thing so I am activitly getting into the dating game..

However my experience of dating has not been great.. However I really do think its time I got back on the dating wagon.. I am not getting any younger and I do want a family. I have also over the last few months had quite a few periods of the feeling of loneliness and its a horrible feeling..

So I am about to go on the journey to try and experience love and do a few things a bit different.. I love fab and the people on here.. Its just not the place I want to be forever....

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I wish you all the luck in the world. Try not to pick a weirdo though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same here, although never seem to find a date actually wants a date, just a meet....guessing it might be an age thing but I'll find out in time I guess x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Good luck.

I used to work with a woman who made her mind up to find a partner and have two children before she turned 40. She did it and they are all very happy.

I try every once in a while but I think alone is my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read what tongue in groove wrote about being on his own for far too long and wanting to see where things go on his successful date.. Well myself I have been thinking the exact same thing so I am activitly getting into the dating game..

So I am about to go on the journey to try and experience love and do a few things a bit different.. I love fab and the people on here.. Its just not the place I want to be forever.... "

Vanilla dating would scare the shite of me now....

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I wish you all the luck in the world. Try not to pick a weirdo though

Them days are over...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ill date you my lover

hehe xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on my own for 10 years now and was celibate for 9 of them, it didn't bother me for a very long time, but since reaching the big 50 last year it suddenly hit me, I don't want to be on my own forever, being here has helped bridge the gap, but one day...maybe, I'd like to meet someone special, in the mean time, I'm having soooo much fun.

Good luck in your choices tho, I hope you find your special someone x

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ill date you my lover

hehe xx"

Thanks Cute....

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I think some people get into using this place as a substitute for what they really want and then eventually it becomes easier to use being here as an excuse not to want or seek anything else. So seriously, well done you. I hope you find whatever you need to make you happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I am about to go on the journey to try and experience love and do a few things a bit different.. I love fab and the people on here.. Its just not the place I want to be forever....

Vanilla dating would scare the shite of me now....

I tried it a little while back and I tell ya what, those vanilla's are warped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My past relationships confirmed what I know all along, in that I am too much an independent spirit to spend my life living under another person's skin.

I am happy to be single, to live the way I do, without having to seek the permission of another person before making a decision, what I earn is for me to use as I please. My time is my own to do as I please.

Yes I have probably become more selfish the longer I live on my own. However, in between relationship I lived on my own, and thoroughly enjoyed those care free bachelor days.

I cannot imagine myself spending the rest of my life with just one person.

So life on FAB suits me, and I shall continue to be here for the foreseeable future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, and I had ventured into vanilla dating about a year ago, and the life is not greener, in fact, it is a lot worse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, and I had ventured into vanilla dating about a year ago, and the life is not greener, in fact, it is a lot worse!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Oh, and I had ventured into vanilla dating about a year ago, and the life is not greener, in fact, it is a lot worse!

That is what I am afraid of... However I got to give it a whirl...

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Oh, and I had ventured into vanilla dating about a year ago, and the life is not greener, in fact, it is a lot worse!

That is what I am afraid of... However I got to give it a whirl...

Does this mean you not going to wait for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im quite comfortable in my own company, granted there are times when you wish you had someone to snuggle but thats only on occasions. inbetween those moments, i likes my own space etc .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I speak from experience.

First you hate it.

Then you get used to it.

Then you depend on it.

Being honest I've been on my own for ten years and I can honestly say once the stress left me after about a year they have been the happiest of my life, do what I want, when I want and money in my pocket.

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

Can only tell of my own experience .... was on my own for 2 years and then met my new partner when we were both at Kestrels!!

Wasn't looking seriously but we just hit it off and are now engaged

Think it helped that we are both knew about our "other life" and you should see the look on peoples faces when we tell them where we met

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Oh, and I had ventured into vanilla dating about a year ago, and the life is not greener, in fact, it is a lot worse!

That is what I am afraid of... However I got to give it a whirl...

There are twunts whatever you do. If being on here should have tought you anything.... it is how many twunts you need to sift through to find the gems.

So don't be disheartened if you encounter a few twunts at first....... think of them as trial runs ready for the gem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like sharing my space with anyone and I am a nightmare to live with, so it's probably best if I stay single, to be honest!

I should make more effort to get out and to spend less time in my own company though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tread with caution, there were far too many wierdo's out there for me at least here you know what is expected. sex and companionsip are much easier to find than your hearts desire. At the end of the day if it were meant to be then it will happen

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

we wish you all the luck in your search

but some times love arrives when your least expecting it.

take me and scouse we met at a party in blackpool and had two more meets that month, and 15month's later she moved in with me, neither of us was looking for love but it surprised us both and we are very happy, and very much in love,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck - I am sure you will eventually find what you are looking for, it will probably just suddenly appear before you in the place your are least expecting it to

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Good luck - I am sure you will eventually find what you are looking for, it will probably just suddenly appear before you in the place your are least expecting it to

Yes I totally agree as much as I say I am looking I am not desprate in the search and just carry on with my everyday life ... I am not one to look but I guess I am getting out there.. As much as I am looking for a fellow swinger as I am not sure yet whether I can give this up but I guess I can't put my demands on a meet ie we are getting married and creating babies on the first meet haha

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

So I am about to go on the journey to try and experience love and do a few things a bit different.. I love fab and the people on here.. Its just not the place I want to be forever.... "
Good for you, hope you find someone nicexxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex-hubby says I have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find a prince, and he is not far wrong!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I could never do the vanilla thing, i wanted to be on my own until jay came into my life. But we both like our own space and as much as we love each other we have no plans ever of livling together.

Could never imagine living with someone, but then i guess its different for me as ive had a wedding and i hav my wonderful son.

I wouldnt know where to start as far as dating goes but good luck

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Having been with my child's father for 13 years, and been married for 10 to my ex-husband, I am happy to be alone and have been for some years.

I cannot even contemplate getting into a relationship at this point in my life. I have never been happier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, you'll be approached in a Bar (or any drinking environment which gives guys Dutch courage) and take it from there.

He'll think he struck gold when it gets to the next level and you let the devil inside out :p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still have to work it out, sometimes I feel horribly alone but then everytime I get near someone I get claustraphobic and wanna run a mile! it's cool to hear that you know what you want, really hope you find it xxx

..If I ever find it, I hope it's a big surprise and from here

I like the sound of these relationships where ya don't even live together lol!

Have fun hunny xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you come into the world single and leave it the same way.

sad isnt it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you come into the world single and leave it the same way.

sad isnt it."

It's important in between though to have somebody to throw out the spiders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you come into the world single and leave it the same way.

sad isnt it.

It's important in between though to have somebody to throw out the spiders

my cat eats spiders so job done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been single 15 years now and honestly...........I wouldn't want it any other way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on my own for nearly 6 years and yes there are times when life is very lonely but when the loneliness really gets to me I remind myself that the being on my own now isn't all that much different to my 26 years marriage, the real difference being, now I'm my own boss, being able to do what I want when I want without ridicule and punishment. Not sure after all this time if I could do the relationship bit again, although there are times when I know I don't want to be on my own for the rest of my life! For now Fab works the way I want it too for me and maybe one day Mr Right will come into my life, if I let him!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good for you, go and try the relationship and babies thing if you feel you are ready for it. You never know it might even be with a swinger, stranger things have happened.

I sometimes give in and try the dating thing occasionally.

But to be honest I don't think I could share my home, car, life with anyone other than my kids now..... and two of them are only part-timers now.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

@Cheeky, I really hope you find what you're looking for and that you're happy together.

Myself, I've been living on my own now for 2 years although I've really been single for 3 years. I enjoy certain aspects of living alone (I actually have my son every other week so I'm not entirely alone) but other things associated with being single suck.

I find I don't cook properly when I'm just looking after myself, and think nothing is wrong with having a bowl of cereal for my evening meal. I am also more introvert if I'm just thinking about myself, despite having a good circle of friends... I have to make more of an effort to socialise, whereas when I've got my nipper with me I'm more conscious of the fact it's not healthy to stay locked indoors so we're regularly out and about doing things and meeting people.

However, I'm aware that he's not going to be at home too much longer at which point I risk becoming a total recluse.

...and truth be told I do miss having someone to hug, to share things with, to go to sleep with and to wake up to. Someone who will keep me sane and stop me from turning into Victor Meldrew.

I hope you have more luck than I've had so far. I've been using the fishy dating site as everyone of my friends is in a relationship and doesn't want to go into town on the pull.

My circumstances are different from your's in that I don't want any more family, which doesn't seem to help me as most women my age that I meet who are single are looking to settle down and become baby factories. I, on the other hand, feel like I missed out on part of my youth when I had my son so have no desire to do the sleepless nights and nappy changing thing all over again.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Did I start something?

One of the reasons I have started vanilla dating is for someone to do stuff with. Travel, cinema, restaurants.

I have a small circle of good, close friends, I have a close, supportive and loving family and I have a circle of great fun fuck buddies. But sometimes I just want to go to a nice restaurant with a man who thinks I'm witty and funny and pretty and sexy.

Yes I know I am those things and i have confidence in spades. But it's another social interaction that I want to compliment my life as it is right now.

So I'm dating the nillas and trying to remember how it works!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

But I'm not leaving or hiding! It would take an exceptional man to make me want to make those kind of changes!

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Did I start something?

One of the reasons I have started vanilla dating is for someone to do stuff with. Travel, cinema, restaurants.

Yes I know I am those things and i have confidence in spades. But it's another social interaction that I want to compliment my life as it is right now.

So I'm dating the nillas and trying to remember how it works!

Thick tights and two pairs of knickers if I remember right from when I dated

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Did I start something?

One of the reasons I have started vanilla dating is for someone to do stuff with. Travel, cinema, restaurants.

Yes I know I am those things and i have confidence in spades. But it's another social interaction that I want to compliment my life as it is right now.

So I'm dating the nillas and trying to remember how it works!

Thick tights and two pairs of knickers if I remember right from when I dated

But on a serious note think its great you got control of your life, well done you

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

blimey .. thought u must have been about 40 or something .. ur only 32 .. as Mr Mannering wud say ..'Dont Panic !'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sex is sex

love and companionship is something we all want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on my own for nearly 6 years and yes there are times when life is very lonely but when the loneliness really gets to me I remind myself that the being on my own now isn't all that much different to my 26 years marriage, the real difference being, now I'm my own boss, being able to do what I want when I want without ridicule and punishment. Not sure after all this time if I could do the relationship bit again, although there are times when I know I don't want to be on my own for the rest of my life! For now Fab works the way I want it too for me and maybe one day Mr Right will come into my life, if I let him!!

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By *azmissy67Woman
over a year ago

welshpool area

I have done the whole marriage and children thing so look upon this in a slightly different way to the OP. Personally I'm not sure i could do Vanilla dating because quite frankly after 6 years without a partner i have got my way of living how i want it and i dont want a man to spoil that! I wish the OP well and hope she finds what she is looking for x

Tbh as was said earlier Vanilla dating scares the hell on of me !

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Its a difficult one i guess. however i know to some i am a nipper being 32 but when i say i am broody is an understatement lol. i don't know its hard to explain right now what i feel. i hate dating though lol

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Its a difficult one i guess. however i know to some i am a nipper being 32 but when i say i am broody is an understatement lol. i don't know its hard to explain right now what i feel. i hate dating though lol"

And now you get all the breeder PM good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if your ready now then go for it. Even if i met Mr Right tomorrow still think it would take me 2 years to potentially suss out if he is 'daddy of my child material' (especially because ive been a single parent up until now so would try to at least make sure he's the right guy to have a child with and wont leave us)

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

And now you get all the breeder PM good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely go for it. Dating sucks but worth it when you find him! Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people get into using this place as a substitute for what they really want and then eventually it becomes easier to use being here as an excuse not to want or seek anything else. So seriously, well done you. I hope you find whatever you need to make you happy."

Good luck sugar xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely adore living on my own and don't honestly see that changing any time soon.

As for dating, no thanks, been there and have as many t-shirts and scars as one could wish for.

The whole not having kids thing doesn't bother me anymore but I do reserve the right to get clucky on occasion.

I intend to spend my remaining years with family and friends - some that I already know and some that I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG - what's TemptingDevil started ?

All this vanilla dating - is it contagious ?

Seriously though ...

I think we all go through periods of self doubt, or analysis, about the stages we are in life, I guess it's often an age thing, or we see our peers doing things differently or enjoying different lifestyles.

Sometimes, some days, we decide we need a change in our circumstances, and whatever that driver is, do the old Green Cross Code:

Stop, Look, Listen

and then you'll know what's best for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I guess i would like to meet someone to experience new things and create new memories..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess i would like to meet someone to experience new things and create new memories.. "

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Did I start something?

One of the reasons I have started vanilla dating is for someone to do stuff with. Travel, cinema, restaurants.

Yes I know I am those things and i have confidence in spades. But it's another social interaction that I want to compliment my life as it is right now.

So I'm dating the nillas and trying to remember how it works!

Thick tights and two pairs of knickers if I remember right from when I dated

You wore thick tights n 2 pairs of knickrrs Nucs? Pervert...

It's took a while but I realised I'm better on my own, never wanted sprogs, have great friends, can holiday on my own if I fancy - occasionally worry about getting old and needing help or dying n the cats eating me - not enough to convince me to look for a relatioship tho'

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I might have a first date and think what the am i doing and run for the hills. the one thing i do have to work on is getting bored which i do quite often in relationships. i have never cheated i just end up by not putting the effort i should put into it.. I love the swinging scene so also thinking can i give that up also.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Did I start something?

One of the reasons I have started vanilla dating is for someone to do stuff with. Travel, cinema, restaurants.

Yes I know I am those things and i have confidence in spades. But it's another social interaction that I want to compliment my life as it is right now.

So I'm dating the nillas and trying to remember how it works!

Thick tights and two pairs of knickers if I remember right from when I dated

You wore thick tights n 2 pairs of knickrrs Nucs? Pervert...

Exactly how I feel - without the cats.

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

One of the happiest times in my life was the first 18mths of our relationship. We did the long distance thing and I loved it! On my own the the kids all week and OH would arrive friday night and we'd have the weekend to be a couple. Every few weeks wed then come and stay for a week or so with him. I still joke to friends it was the perfect relationship lol

The only reason we moved from Norfolk upto Manchester was for the children. My eldest was due to start school and didn't want to uproot her once she had settled and made friends.

We've now been together almost 9 years but every now and then I do still find myself missing my own space and the freedom to not have to take him into consideration in a day to day basis lol

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