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Rejection and all that shiz

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP.

Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women.

I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection.

I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again.

Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men?

I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well.

I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more.

But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.

Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).

But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.

You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.

Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.

Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.

This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.

That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...

TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.

(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP.

Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women.

I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection.

I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again.

Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men?

I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well.

I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more.

But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.

Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).

But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.

You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.

Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.

Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.

This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.

That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...

TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.

(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"

Quoting the whole thing. Also you.

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

Yep very true.

But there’s someone for everyone - just need to wade through all crap to find them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP.

Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women.

I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection.

I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again.

Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men?

I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well.

I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more.

But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.

Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).

But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.

You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.

Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.

Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.

This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.

That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...

TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.

(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"

For me, rejection is part of life for 99.9% of people, both men and women. Whether it be rejection from a sexual/dating side of things or rejection from a job or something else. Everyone needs to be able to take rejection like an adult and understand that sometimes you just aren’t what someone else is looking for.

There is someone out there for everyone. Everyone has tastes and things they like or dislike and they are entitled to their opinions.

Dust yourself off, get on with it and be the best version of you… there will be someone else for you!

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I think we all get rejected by people at times whether romantically or just as friends it's how we handle the rejection.

Personally I think it makes us stronger people, we learn hopefully what others are not keen on in ourselves.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

A good post.

Regarding rejection, it’s probably the case that nearly everyone who complains about being rejected on the forums is really only concerned with their own rejection, rather than anyone else’s, so are they that bothered that anyone else gets rejected too, or understands their feelings on the matter? Suspect not, but who knows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well."

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuinely I think that a lot of men do feel as though women are fighting men off and don’t get rejected. Based on things you read on here and other platforms men think that women get far more attention than men think they’re really worth and in comparison women have unrealistic high standards. - hence men always rejected and women always getting sex whenever they fancy. Seen comments on here about ‘average’ women getting attention etc as well which feels not only drenched in misogyny but also frustration that women are not throwing themselves at men how men do women. - feels like they missed the part of life when women are shamed for being sexual and enjoying sex.

Anyway, I think generally we (people) experience rejection in many ways and have self esteem issues and struggles as a result of that and I think we sometimes just live in our bubbles and don’t consider the experiences of others. And that’s why I think this post is important. Speaking the truths of people to remind us all that we’re not the only ones going through it. And we can’t intentionally or unintentionally undermine or dismiss the experiences of others with rejection simply because we feel like it’s worse for us.

Anyway, again, love seeing you on here OP. You radiate positive energy and it makes me smile. Happy hump day you Angel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello NotSoPosh

After reading your forum posting I thought I'd comment.

I am owl - the male of us. I am blind and so judge nobody personally by their pics etc - I know that I would have had an automatic exception.

Men rarely if ever discuss what it means to be masculine and our fathers don't tell us. You've probably seen films and TV shows where a father speaks with his son and gives him guidance. Most men find this nonsense because it doesn't happen to most. As a result we know that women understand their feminity and it scares us/them. We handle rejection badly because we don't want to work on ourselves - essentially we are a bit crap.

Most men can express only 2 or 3 emotions, lust, anger and anger again.

That is IMO and it is worth reading "MWomen are from Venus, men are from Mars"

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

I get rejected all the time but OP you didn’t egnored me at the social and said hi not for long but you was busy so thank you for that

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By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well."

I managed, just, to resist.

Great post though, and a reminder that we’re all going through some kind of shit in the background, no matter how things look like from the outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well."

Bants init.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello NotSoPosh

After reading your forum posting I thought I'd comment.

I am owl - the male of us. I am blind and so judge nobody personally by their pics etc - I know that I would have had an automatic exception.

Men rarely if ever discuss what it means to be masculine and our fathers don't tell us. You've probably seen films and TV shows where a father speaks with his son and gives him guidance. Most men find this nonsense because it doesn't happen to most. As a result we know that women understand their feminity and it scares us/them. We handle rejection badly because we don't want to work on ourselves - essentially we are a bit crap.

Most men can express only 2 or 3 emotions, lust, anger and anger again.

That is IMO and it is worth reading "MWomen are from Venus, men are from Mars""

I’ve never actually read the book though I’ve referenced it in a thread before. But I read an excerpt once for a lecture and wondered if it makes suggestions about biological references between genders that aren’t necessarily true?

This is a genuine question as I’m unsure about whether I’d enjoy the book or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People aren’t probably going to like this

But with being here with a inbween profile and as man’s profile

I have personally tested this

And it’s 1000% true

Test samples size wasn’t the biggest maybe a range off 50 to 60 bween woman and couples

I put effort in to my man’s profile grate pics grate bio no hafe ass

I took time to read they profiles

I took 10 minutes crafting a well thought out message personally for them

For it to ither get stright up delete or unread

Now I took a hafe assed

Tv/ts profile not this one this was like back in 2016

With a couple off crap pics compared to this profile pics

A very minimum bio

With a copy and paste how’s you message

Message the same people with a reply rate off 70%

I will say most that complain don’t put the effort in

But there are some out there that did in the past and been shot down so much that it gets to the point off what’s the point off trying

I am not saying all are like this but there definitely was in my sample size a very telling sigh

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I am sorry to hear of hour problems with rejection it's not easy whatever gender, age, or orientation you are. I have a very high rate if rejection and bullying at school it was because I was mix race and The white kids thought I was Indian (not so).

The black kids cos my dad was mix race west Indian and my mother was white.

And by all of em because I was deaf and my struggles were seen as funny.

Never fitted in but I have managed to overcome it all over time and make my own individual way in life.

It drew me to the swinging scene at a young age and here too despite e trying rejection is high because I don't meet people's criteria and ow it's because I am way past my early fifties.

From all this however I have learnt not to reject others. Live my life on my own terms and treat people as I like to be treated myself.

Woukd j change anything in.my life? Nope not even the bad bits. Because it's made me who I am today and despite the rejects I have had and continue to have in this lifestyle, the few times I do meet and have ended in the bedroom its magical. I also find the people I do meet on here are generous and beautiful.

So my best advice hang in there and firge your own path. It can be a hard path granted but the good parts always feel like a huge win when they happen.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally get you on this.

I take a different view - I don't let myself feel the negativity of rejection rather I manage my frustration of not finding the right person that accepts me as I am - or I did until recently - fingers very crossed and thanking my lucky stars daily that someone that does get me has found me and I feel the same way about her.

Way I see it frustration is at least a form of passion whereas rejection is very destructive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said.

I can’t formulate a decent response because my head feels like it’s full of cotton wool, but:

I am one side of the coin, but I can understand the other.

No, I don’t very often get rejected, because I rarely put myself in a position to be so… it doesn’t mean I don’t see the damage that causes.

We all have life experiences that colour the way we see things, I’ve also experienced verbal/emotional abuse which does affect your confidence, and it means I understand all too well the feeling of not being enough.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I totally get you on this.

I take a different view - I don't let myself feel the negativity of rejection rather I manage my frustration of not finding the right person that accepts me as I am - or I did until recently - fingers very crossed and thanking my lucky stars daily that someone that does get me has found me and I feel the same way about her.

Way I see it frustration is at least a form of passion whereas rejection is very destructive "

And that's exactly where I've been trying to reach all my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I can say is you been very brave sharing this and shows that it happens to us all and for some it it more life defining than for others.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP.

Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women.

I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection.

I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again.

Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men?

I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well.

I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more.

But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.

Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).

But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.

You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.

Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.

Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.

This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.

That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...

TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.

(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"

You will never understand the rejection I face, just like I will never understand the rejection you face....it's really that simple.You don't know my past, my experiences, my trauma, my insecurities, the things that have shaped my mentality...just like I don't know yours. You don't know what it's

like to be a man in today's society, just like I don't know what it's like to be a woman...we are not the same! I'm not saying women don't face rejection...but it's not the same type of rejection men face (especially when it comes to approaching women) . And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Just from the TL:DR

No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend

It’s not even compatible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m died.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regarding Women are from Venus, men are from Mars" though that maybe the other way around. Read it a long time ago and think you may be correct Steve.

Also David Deida has done some interesting work on sex and sexuality though those that don't read profiles are hardly going to read an actual book which doesn't have pictures.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London


"Just from the TL:DR

No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend

It’s not even compatible "

OP literally says *some* women experience more rejection than *some* men.

"no they don't" is a nonsensical response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not that I can’t read I’m lazy. Thank you for the TL:DR - op I appreciate you.

Ladies that message that message are guaranteed to meet me in the club because that’s what I’m here for and ping pong messages aren’t for me

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me..."

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have".

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle


"Warning... this is going to be long. For those who like a TL:DR description... you'll find it at the bottom of this OP.

Also. I can't be arsed to write "some men" and "some women" every time. So... not all men. And not all women.

I find myself getting really riled up lately at the number of people who don't seem to be able to step back and see that "men", or "women" (I'm guessing also anyone who doesn't identify as either but I'm keeping this simple, sorry) are actually not that dissimilar in their experiences of lack of confidence and of rejection.

I keep reading that 90% (99%, 95%, insert made up stat here) of women could never understand how it feels to be a man and be rejected. How men just keep getting battered and battered and yet have to make the first move or they never get anywhere, yet they get beaten back again and again.

Where does this idea come from that such a high percentage of women don't get exactly the same treatment in most of life? Taking this site, where the (completely made up as no one actually knows unless they've the data) ratio of men to women is so high, out of the equation for a moment, why is it that people assume women in life are fighting men off with a stick and men aren't rejecting women just as much as women are rejecting men?

I spent most of my life in relationships with literally "the only man who wanted me", and even married one. I've been abused in a multitude of ways and learned to be grateful for the 10 miscarriages I've had because it meant I didn't have to be tied to these men for life. Because I was rejected time and time again, with words, with a derisive look, with laughter and scorn. I spent most of my life depressed because of rejection from men, from family and bad treatment by "friends" as well.

I've had my body criticised forever by people I know and by strangers. I've been abused in the street by girls and boys, women and men. I've been told I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and that no one would want me. And I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. There are women of all shapes and sizes who have been treated similarly. Who have been rejected as much as I have, or more.

But yet we are told on a regular, if not daily, basis that we could never understand what it's like to be a man and suffer the rejection that men do. On fab we are told that women and couples get 100 or more messages a day and we look at our inboxes and think "really? ". We read that men are ignored, are told they're not good enough, and in the next thread we read that men will shag anyone because they're that desperate to get their end away, which makes us doubt that the person we thought may actually have wanted to get naked and sweaty with us because they're actually attracted to us is being honest.

Yes. There are more active, unhidden men on fab than women, we can all see that from a local search. And as a result there are likely to be more disappointments for men than women. That's just fact and it sucks but if you can't deal with it, head somewhere where there are more women than men (yeah, I have no idea either).

But that doesn't mean that women don't get rejected on here constantly as well for crying out loud. If you aren't what someone is looking for, you aren't what someone is looking for. It just happens that men are looking for a broader range of women maybe. For whatever reason that may be.

You can see from the hotpics lists the popular people, the "type" that men or women fantasise about. And there are very few surprises. But that doesn't mean that all women want the ideal, and it doesn't mean that all men want the ideal either. What you don't see on those lists is who has fabbed the pictures. And why they've fabbed the pictures. It's easy to say "I'm rejected because X has a flat stomach and big boobs or because Y has a huge cock and rippling abs" (just examples) but just because their pictures are appreciated doesn't mean rejection for the rest of us.

Now, just because I'm seeing this from my point of view doesn't mean I can't see it from the "other side". Yes. Men get the shitty end of a stick made from shit on here. They're ignored (I'm sorry about that, I'm actually just shite at messaging no matter the gender), they're told their messages aren't good enough (that's a debate for another thread because one person's good enough is another's hopeless and another's amazing), that they're too short, too tall, too bald, too hairy, too beardy, not beardy enough, too fat, too thin etc etc and then they come on the forum for help and get ripped to pieces sometimes.

Yes. Men get rejected. They do. And it's crap. And it's horrible. And it's hard to deal with for some. But that doesn't mean that women don't as well. And it doesn't mean that we can't and don't understand.

This absolutely isn't a thread about me and my shitty stick of a life. I'm actually pretty ok now and I'm working on liking myself. So please don't think I'm after being told I'm great. I'm not looking for that an I wouldnt believe it. I'm genuinely pointing out that more than 10% (1%, 5%, insert made up stat here) of women get it. We understand. And it's upsetting when guys don't see that.

That's all. Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. And for those who scrolled down to the bottom for this...

TL:DR - some women get rejected as much as some men. Some women get rejected more than some men.

(Please note, I'm unlikely to do as I usually do and reply to everyone who responds, if anyone does. This is not rejection and I am not ignoring whatever you have to say. Also, for the love of God please don't quote this whole thing in your reply)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Regarding Women are from Venus, men are from Mars" though that maybe the other way around. Read it a long time ago and think you may be correct Steve.

Also David Deida has done some interesting work on sex and sexuality though those that don't read profiles are hardly going to read an actual book which doesn't have pictures. "

! Thank you Owl! I will check out David Deida!

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls "

Dr Hilary Jones posts on Fab?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls

Dr Hilary Jones posts on Fab?!"
i dont know who she is

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls "

The books I've published are less of a tough read...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hope you got a nice pay out for the book deal lol sorry i couldnt read all that rejection sucks but if people cant handle it from folks they dont know it does make me worry if they are rejected by someone they truly care about cos that shit sucks balls

The books I've published are less of a tough read..."

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It’s a very different experience being a man on here as opposed to a woman, that’s obvious.

I think that’s important that we don’t assume or presume to tell others their experiences based on conjecture.

I’ve been battered in my life by rejection, that’s what it is to be human and why when we find someone, it’s important to try to hold onto them.

In regards to experiences here, I’m actually quite happy, mainly because I know that if I receive a message, I can trust that they want to talk and are interested. That’s a level of privilege that many don’t have and I’m aware of that.

Many don’t recognise their own privileges

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well."

I noticed.

And are you happy y oh got all that original post off your chest op?

I could sit and meander through my opinions and experiences on fab for a longer time than yours, (and you did say many times, you kept it simple, so maybe you could have gone on too). But life is complicated and it’s no different online.

I actually (it’s hard to believe this next bit so sit down) have not had the opportunity to turn anyone down. Nobody has asked me for anything. but I have been open to being attracted to others and yes, ignored/dodged the question/deleted etc. I have my opinions to why, but only they know the truth, it’s personal to them.

Do I feel sorry for those that struggle with the rejection on here, of course I do. Do I struggle with the way some people flaunt their ‘how they are successful’ vibe around? Yes. And I’m sure a jealous person (which should have no place on a swinging website) could find that all sorts of frustrating. But, some people set themselves up for failure, and it’s on their shoulders where the answer is most of the time. It starts with themselves.

Posh, good post, but cut to the chase next time, I like to reply with one liners.

*I might have gone on one too there

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Flip it.

It’s not “rejection”. It’s a “choice”. I think we all would agree that we are entitled to make our own choices is like particularly when it comes to partners or lovers. When someone chooses not to be with you or chooses to abstain or be with someone else it is their choice for whatever reasons only they will know. It’s not a personal comment on you (royal you). Seeing it as rejection invites negative self-reflection = sad face.

Thanks for the stimulation Posh x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Hey Posh,

Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting.

What I would say there are various types of rejection. The temporary rejections of which there can be many on sites like this. And then the long term rejection as described in your OP.

I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Just from the TL:DR

No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend

It’s not even compatible

OP literally says *some* women experience more rejection than *some* men.

"no they don't" is a nonsensical response. "

I guess if I was gonna expand

Rejection for women is like messaging Tom hardy and not getting a response then browsing their 500 unread messages on here while they feel sad

Rejection for me is like 85% of your shots being shut down

Rejection for women is partly choice. They can sit back and choose not to make the 1st move while still being able to pick those that are making a move on them

For men it’s not a choice. If you do nothing you’d die an unloved virgin.

This is all expressed in how we naturally behave. Most women on here openly admit they never message first, even when it’s someone they like the look of. That’s because biologically women don’t make the move. They are picked, men do the picking and face the rejection. These inbuilt behaviours exist for a reason. Millions of years of evolution.

The other side of the coin is that women don’t really do the picking. Being picked all the time sounds great, to a guy. But imagine seeing someone you really like and not being able do to anything. Just waiting, hoping they’ll pick you.

But again, women can break that mold and go for it. They can message first or ask someone for a drink. Guys on the other hands don’t get that luxury. Make a male account on here and don’t message anyone. See how you do. Go to the pub and just sit quietly at a table looking pretty. Let me know how many girls ask if you fancy a drink. I’ll wait. Let me know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey Posh,

Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting.

What I would say there are various types of rejection. The temporary rejections of which there can be many on sites like this. And then the long term rejection as described in your OP.

I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues. "

You said this very well, it’s easy to forget others have issues/bad past experiences etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just from the TL:DR

No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend

It’s not even compatible "

I must be a man then.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"It’s a very different experience being a man on here as opposed to a woman, that’s obvious.

I think that’s important that we don’t assume or presume to tell others their experiences based on conjecture.

I’ve been battered in my life by rejection, that’s what it is to be human and why when we find someone, it’s important to try to hold onto them.

In regards to experiences here, I’m actually quite happy, mainly because I know that if I receive a message, I can trust that they want to talk and are interested. That’s a level of privilege that many don’t have and I’m aware of that.

Many don’t recognise their own privileges "

I think that's the point. Many don't. And many can't turn the volume on the perceived and actual negative things down and turn up the positive.

(I'm aware this is one of those kettle, pot moments)

I think that humans often have the belief that empathy is something you can only have if you've lived that exact experience. And it isn't.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Hey Posh,

Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting.

What I would say there are various types of rejection. The temporary rejections of which there can be many on sites like this. And then the long term rejection as described in your OP.

I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues.

You said this very well, it’s easy to forget others have issues/bad past experiences etc "

Yep try telling the child that their Dad rejected that rejection on Fab is worse.

Or the rejection of you as a person as you're not good enough. So you have to dress and act a certain way so that you are apparently acceptable to the mass population.

Rejection has many forms, one is not worse than the other they are just different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey Posh,

Your post hit a rather big nerve but it's interesting.

……. We get so embroiled in our own experiences and emotions we forget that other have their own issues.

You said this very well, it’s easy to forget others have issues/bad past experiences etc "

You both have a very good opinion I like to remind myself often.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well.

I noticed.

And are you happy y oh got all that original post off your chest op?

I could sit and meander through my opinions and experiences on fab for a longer time than yours, (and you did say many times, you kept it simple, so maybe you could have gone on too). But life is complicated and it’s no different online.

I actually (it’s hard to believe this next bit so sit down) have not had the opportunity to turn anyone down. Nobody has asked me for anything. but I have been open to being attracted to others and yes, ignored/dodged the question/deleted etc. I have my opinions to why, but only they know the truth, it’s personal to them.

Do I feel sorry for those that struggle with the rejection on here, of course I do. Do I struggle with the way some people flaunt their ‘how they are successful’ vibe around? Yes. And I’m sure a jealous person (which should have no place on a swinging website) could find that all sorts of frustrating. But, some people set themselves up for failure, and it’s on their shoulders where the answer is most of the time. It starts with themselves.

Posh, good post, but cut to the chase next time, I like to reply with one liners.

*I might have gone on one too there "

Don't get me started on jealousy and it's place in society ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just from the TL:DR

No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend

It’s not even compatible

I must be a man then."

A beautiful man

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

I don't think rejection is a competitive sport. Though sometimes it feels like it on the forum. "

If I could have remembered the word competitive this is something I would have added!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took guts and a lot of compassion to post that OP, Posh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave up reading the rest of the 'post' after the 1st paragraph, lol.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Just slightly off the main, but...yeah.

Being back here after like, a year of pretty much no phone is jarring. Going from that very quiet, reflective time to this: everything is so immediately reactive, so loud. I don't I've adjusted to it well just yet.

But most of the loud keeps striking me as related to rejection, and it's reactive and not reflective.

Sorry. Babbling. Just a passing thought. Thank you for sharing that very personal stuff OP. Can't have been easy to type.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Just slightly off the main, but...yeah.

Being back here after like, a year of pretty much no phone is jarring. Going from that very quiet, reflective time to this: everything is so immediately reactive, so loud. I don't I've adjusted to it well just yet.

But most of the loud keeps striking me as related to rejection, and it's reactive and not reflective.

Sorry. Babbling. Just a passing thought. Thank you for sharing that very personal stuff OP. Can't have been easy to type.

"

It's a delight to see you back CD

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab.

To say otherwise is pure fantasy!

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab.

To say otherwise is pure fantasy!"

Dude.

Way to chuck in a new grenade

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have"."

Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious.

So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement.

But I'm happy to agree to disagree

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I've not been rejected on here so I can't pretend I know what it feels like for people in general, let's not go down the men/women only categories.

I have, however, been on the receiving end of less than complimentary comments on my body, rejection of a more personal nature etc. It's not a competition or a comparison really, is it?

I think that when people post something on the fora like "people won't understand x, y or z", they're coming from a place of hurt, frustration and loneliness. So, rather than being too riled by what they read, I try and remember that their personal experiences and words are valid to their emotional state at the time. Rather than being from a place of reflection it's from one of hurt and tiredness at their experience.

I don't think women will ever truly understand what it's like for a man on Fab to be honest. But I do think every person can empathize with rejection and understand the feelings that "may" appear after such a thing. Maybe we should try and approach each other with more leniency, kindness and listening to what they're saying, rather than shouting above them (and no, Op, I'm not saying you're doing that!).

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

That what rejects you only makes you stronger,,

Or something like that,,

Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,

Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,

What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,

The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.

Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.

If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,

It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.

(my 2cents worth)

Mr A.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab.

To say otherwise is pure fantasy!"

I feel a slight jab there my friend ...but I agree with you...I don't know what that experience is like. But as a man I know what it's like to be constantly rejected by women...I haven't always looked like this you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection is part of life and we all experience it at some stage whether it's on here, going for a job, been picked for the good team in school etc

Do women experience it more than men, can't say. But as a female I have been on the receiving end of rejection and because of it, I don't pur myself out there. As a plus size lady I have experienced rather nasty rejection on nights out.

But I've learnt it says more about the person doing the rejecting than me, I would never be nasty to a guy if I wasn't interested, it's not in my nature.

I often see women post about the number of messages they get and I think wow but than I remind myself of the quality of the few I get, and just think no thanks.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have".

Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious.

So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement.

But I'm happy to agree to disagree "

I'm not saying I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected. I'm also not saying I know what it's like for a woman to be constantly rejected. I'm saying I know what it's like for *me* to be constantly rejected and that knowledge, along with empathy and the willingness and ability to listen and read can make me understand the way it makes a person feel.

It's a discussion that 175 posts isn't enough for, so agreeing to disagree seems to be best here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is?

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is? "

THIS!

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is?

THIS! "
this X2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s a really well said Posh. It is brave of you to talk and say what you have in the thread.

I just thought I’d say, I definitely know and understand what you are talking about

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have".

Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious.

So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement.

But I'm happy to agree to disagree "

Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I would also add, your triggers are your teachers, so if you’re triggered by something on here, it can be helpful to analyse here they is coming from, what the root is? "

I completely agree.

I know my triggers, I can see them. It doesn't necessarily stop me being triggered by them (if it did I'd have left fab for my own sanity) but I go into it eyes wide open now.

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have".

Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious.

So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement.

But I'm happy to agree to disagree

Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same "

*was like

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

We all face rejection at some point in our lives, of course we do. And I think we're all probably guilty of at least a bit of self-pity occasionally where we feel that nobody else has it as bad as we do. I also think that social media exacerbates this...not many people post about the shit stuff, it's all happy times and "Instagram lives". It's easy to think that everyone else is happy when you're not, yet behind the scenes everybody is struggling with something.

I do think that how someone deals with rejection can tell you an awful lot about them as a person though...but that's a completely different subject matter.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I can't relate. Which isn't to say that I've never experienced rejection (not that I really view things that way). More, I readily accept that there are probably relatively few people in a life time that I'm going to form a strong bond with.

I see it as things just not working out, be that in relation to friendship, something more intimate or family

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I can't relate. Which isn't to say that I've never experienced rejection (not that I really view things that way). More, I readily accept that there are probably relatively few people in a life time that I'm going to form a strong bond with.

I see it as things just not working out, be that in relation to friendship, something more intimate or family "

That's a very healthy way to look at it, and I think if we could all get to that place we would find more contentment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I readily accept that there are probably relatively few people in a life time that I'm going to form a strong bond with. "

Makes me think of the ‘You only get 3 great women in your lifetime.’ quote.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think rejections can come in many ways and forms.

I tend to get quite the attention and can make my pick with men, when it comes to keeping it simple and light.

But soon as I mention seriousness and something like a relationship, that’s when they drop like flies …!

Probably because I’m way too exotic kind of girl for what they like. I sort of get it. does it make me feel worthy of love? It doesn’t.

But then again, I should probably start getting involved with people who aren’t fuck boys or attached to other women.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Well said OP. In general people will only see their point or side of the story and you have brought all sides to the discussion.

It is easy to reject someone on here and hide behind a qwerty keyboard, this is common through all forms of SM.

As for people abusing you, or anyone for that matter, in real life is just wrong and says more about them than it does about you or the person they are abusing.

The trick, I will tell you if I ever find it, is tell them to fuck off then forget about them straight away, but it is easier said than done.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,,

Or something like that,,

Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,

Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,

What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,

The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.

Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.

If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,

It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.

(my 2cents worth)

Mr A. "

Absolutely agree with this.

I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"All you muscular men with countable abs, visible muscles, model good looks who get the women salivating at their artfully shot black and white photos know nothing of true rejection like the married/cheating, fat, ugly, balding, bad teethed, small cocked men of fab.

To say otherwise is pure fantasy!"

That’s rubbish.

I joined here as an overweight guy and had way more attention than I do now as toned and muscular

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have".

Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious.

So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement.

But I'm happy to agree to disagree

Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same

*was like"

That's a fair point...maybe the best reaction is " I'm sorry you went through that and I'm trying to better understand " rather than "yeah I know exactly what that is like" ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a great post and sort of put's things from all sides.

I don't know how real the statistic is of around 100 men to each woman on here.

You just have to keep trying and take the attitude that you win some and lose some. Your not going to be everyone's cup of tea unfortunately. I find it really tough on here it's much easier in real life to read body language and cues from people.

Due to the male to female balance on here the woman can be extremely selective. The woman are in control on here it's just the nature of the game.

It is what it is and you've got to deal with and make the best of it.

Keep Fabbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for sharing, posh. It's great to get all views as that how we can build emapthy.

I believe men feel they are rejected more as they interaction is more obvious. I message/approach, I get told no, I'm rejected.

But every time I go onto a profile and don't message I'm rejecting. Every time a gal gets dolles up and a man doesn't approach, that's a rejection.

And if I'm led to believe some of the pop psychology, women's signaling is more subtle than a guys. So there are times men reject an "approach" because we miss the cues. Life isnt as simple as fab.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Makes me glad to be 6ft 3, horse cocked and ridiculously good looking.

Couldn’t be dealing with that rejection from strangers

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

And no, you cannot change my mind ... if you cannot see the clear differences ( and double standards-on both sides) between men and women (predominantly when it comes to dating) than a conversation about this topic is meaningless to me...

I can see there are differences and there are double standards. But I can also understand without having all the details, because I have an open mind and listen to men and women without thinking "yeah right, you don't know what it's like to be me".

From my view, in my shoes, I see women who I would never imagine have ever been rejected saying that they have and I just think... "hmm... so we are all human then, dammit, it's a sad thing that this human has felt what I have".

Trying to understand and having an open mind is one thing....knowing what it is like is another. I can give you an analogy ( that is completely different to the topic, and more extreme, but it might make more sense)... you can try to understand what it's like to be in a war zone, and you want to help those people, and it breaks your heart, but no matter how compassionate or empathetic of a person you are and no matter how much you feel their pain, you DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have bullets flying over your head. The only thing that we can do as human beings is to be compassionate and try our best to understand, but unless we have experienced the same situation to say "I know what it's like" is just pretentious.

So you or any other woman can say all you want " I know what it's like for a man to be constantly rejected "...I simply call bull... on that statement.

But I'm happy to agree to disagree

Even if you’ve been in the same situation as somebody else, you still can’t say that you know what it warlike for them, we’re all individual and no two people experience things the same

*was like

That's a fair point...maybe the best reaction is " I'm sorry you went through that and I'm trying to better understand " rather than "yeah I know exactly what that is like" ..."

To be clear, understanding on an intellectual level based on information and personal experience and/or empathising is not the same as saying "I know exactly what it's like".

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,,

Or something like that,,

Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,

Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,

What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,

The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.

Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.

If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,

It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.

(my 2cents worth)

Mr A.

Absolutely agree with this.

I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x

"

That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)

And before someone goes off on one,

Yes I'm Ginger

And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment,

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well."

To be fair, it is like telling the school bully that you will wet yourself if they tickle you. You should of known better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,,

Or something like that,,

Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,

Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,

What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,

The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.

Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.

If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,

It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.

(my 2cents worth)

Mr A.

Absolutely agree with this.

I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x

That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)

And before someone goes off on one,

Yes I'm Ginger

And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment, "

You're ginger? You never mentioned?

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By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

My God, if every woman that I ever approached had said yes I’d be shrunken hollow mess!

Rejection is natural, I’ve turned down invitations myself (but nowhere near as many as I should!) I don’t pretend to know your story Ms Not So Posh and I commend you for feeling able to share what you have.

Ultimately the journey to contentment is a rocky one and includes many false turns and blind alleys. Maybe some of the rejections were lucky escapes. Maybe some took you down a short cut to finding what it is that you are seeking.

Be safe, be aware of the good things in your life and never ever stop searching till you find that contentment.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"This "for the love of God don't quote the OP" thing is not going well.

To be fair, it is like telling the school bully that you will wet yourself if they tickle you. You should of known better "

I should. I really should

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,,

Or something like that,,

Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,

Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,

What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,

The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.

Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.

If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,

It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.

(my 2cents worth)

Mr A.

Absolutely agree with this.

I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x

That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)

And before someone goes off on one,

Yes I'm Ginger

And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment,

You're ginger? You never mentioned? "

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"That what rejects you only makes you stronger,,

Or something like that,,

Rejection is part of life, from the smallest animal on the forest floor to the birds in the trees to the us free thinking Humans,,

Its been that way since day 1, it will always be that way, its Nature,

What has changed (Dramatically) is how people seem to deal with it, especially on the likes of here,,

The amount of sob and entitlement sories I read here and elsewhere is somewhat entertaining,if not sad and cringe worthy.

Everyone is not for everyone, it's not personal.

If you ran the Gauntlett in a real bar or club and the he/she politely said no thanks, you are not going yo throw a hissFit,(or maybe you would, showing everyone you have serious issues) so why do it here,

It is what it is,, move on, and stay Classy about it.

(my 2cents worth)

Mr A.

Absolutely agree with this.

I think people take it harder these days as life is full of everyone’s a winner everyone’s beautiful etc etc. You can’t even win at sports day at school now. Everyone wins. Real life is simply not like that. Everyone is not wonderful. Everyone doesn’t win. Idealism is overtaking realism. x

That was a pre-Snowflake world Nora,, ahhhh gone with the days when,, (Fffk off you ginger twat toughened you up not reduced you to a puddle of moaning snot)

And before someone goes off on one,

Yes I'm Ginger

And no Snowflake got hurt during this comment,

You're ginger? You never mentioned? "

That's because he knows that the ginger power would render all other men hopeless and he likes to give people a chance...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I don't even know where to start here, other than to say we should all bear in mind there's lots of different kinds of rejection in live. It's not just romantic/sexual rejection that people cope with and none of us will ever fully know the struggles of the next person. We can try to empathise but never fully understand, unless we face exactly the same situation.

I'll give an example. I'm currently in a nice spa. I got changed then needed the loo. The disabled loo in the spa is out of order. My wheelchair does not fit into the ladies toilet. In my robe and swimsuit, I was directed to the first floor (spa is lower ground). Upon exiting the lift on the first floor, I was faced with super deep pile carpet. Even pushing on the flat corridors was immensely difficult and I'm very strong in the upper body. I found the loo but it was locked. I waited 10mins until a passing staff member told me IT was also out of order. I should go (in my robe and swimsuit) to the main foyer where there's an accessible toilet. I'd wasted by now nearly half an hour of my spa time. The toilet in the foyer is actually within the restaurant. I am wearing a robe and swimsuit. I went to the loo and returned to the spa almost 40min after needing the loo.

I don't think anyone here can truly understand my issues with the above, unless you've also tried to self propel a wheelchair on super deep pile carpet and have had to go through public spaces and into a freaking restaurant while dressed for the spa. Several people (elderly) made distasteful faces while I waited in the foyer. I ignored them.

I'm going to stop now, because they just fixed the jacuzzi and I'm going to get my money's worth. But I hope my point makes sense?

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

this post. Well said

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I don't even know where to start here, other than to say we should all bear in mind there's lots of different kinds of rejection in live. It's not just romantic/sexual rejection that people cope with and none of us will ever fully know the struggles of the next person. We can try to empathise but never fully understand, unless we face exactly the same situation.

I'll give an example. I'm currently in a nice spa. I got changed then needed the loo. The disabled loo in the spa is out of order. My wheelchair does not fit into the ladies toilet. In my robe and swimsuit, I was directed to the first floor (spa is lower ground). Upon exiting the lift on the first floor, I was faced with super deep pile carpet. Even pushing on the flat corridors was immensely difficult and I'm very strong in the upper body. I found the loo but it was locked. I waited 10mins until a passing staff member told me IT was also out of order. I should go (in my robe and swimsuit) to the main foyer where there's an accessible toilet. I'd wasted by now nearly half an hour of my spa time. The toilet in the foyer is actually within the restaurant. I am wearing a robe and swimsuit. I went to the loo and returned to the spa almost 40min after needing the loo.

I don't think anyone here can truly understand my issues with the above, unless you've also tried to self propel a wheelchair on super deep pile carpet and have had to go through public spaces and into a freaking restaurant while dressed for the spa. Several people (elderly) made distasteful faces while I waited in the foyer. I ignored them.

I'm going to stop now, because they just fixed the jacuzzi and I'm going to get my money's worth. But I hope my point makes sense?"

Your point entirely makes sense. But I can put the details into a situation from my own life and thus intellectually understand the issues and empathise even if I don't *know* exactly how it feels.

Self propelling on most carpet is a bitch... deep shag made me give up so once again lady... admiration here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will admit OP I was so tempted to reply include etc etc ......but restrained myself lol

Rejection is normal on this site, its parr for the course - but sadly some find rejection hard to take and get annoyed

Those that know me, know that I was very badly stalked by a couple 2 years ago for rejecting them - reasons where dead simple , we do not have to like everybody we meet face to face - and not hide behind false profiles/profile pictures etc - likewise I have been rejected when I met someone (I tend to prefer social meets first), and took the rejection for what it was - an expression of their tastes in men - nowt wrong in that - and we are still chat buddies lol

This is an adult sex dating site and within it there are thousands of users , all allowed to make their own choices

J xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just from the TL:DR

No they don’t. Men face rejection on a level most women can’t even comprehend

It’s not even compatible

OP literally says *some* women experience more rejection than *some* men.

"no they don't" is a nonsensical response.

I guess if I was gonna expand

Rejection for women is like messaging Tom hardy and not getting a response then browsing their 500 unread messages on here while they feel sad

Rejection for me is like 85% of your shots being shut down

Rejection for women is partly choice. They can sit back and choose not to make the 1st move while still being able to pick those that are making a move on them

For men it’s not a choice. If you do nothing you’d die an unloved virgin.

This is all expressed in how we naturally behave. Most women on here openly admit they never message first, even when it’s someone they like the look of. That’s because biologically women don’t make the move. They are picked, men do the picking and face the rejection. These inbuilt behaviours exist for a reason. Millions of years of evolution.

The other side of the coin is that women don’t really do the picking. Being picked all the time sounds great, to a guy. But imagine seeing someone you really like and not being able do to anything. Just waiting, hoping they’ll pick you.

But again, women can break that mold and go for it. They can message first or ask someone for a drink. Guys on the other hands don’t get that luxury. Make a male account on here and don’t message anyone. See how you do. Go to the pub and just sit quietly at a table looking pretty. Let me know how many girls ask if you fancy a drink. I’ll wait. Let me know."

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to strongly disagree. I have never, not once ever made the first move. Every single more than just friends relationship I've ever had was instigated by the other person. For one thing I don't even see the flirt happen until it's stuck lips on lips

I'm no Cassanova or Adonis and am shambolic at small talk. Nor do I fear rejection that causes me to not make the first move.

I've never really gone looking with intent, I've just opened my mind and lowered my barriers and someone has always walked onto my bridge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d appreciate another TL:DR

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Having read the op I have deliberately skipped every other comment in the thread because I can only relate to my own experiences.

I have been rejected many times throughout my life but only once given a reason. Apparently I was "too nice".

From the age of 12 until just before turning 50 I was convinced I was invisible to women. I was still a virgin at 25 and didn't have numerous sexual conquests over the years and always felt that was my lot and there was nothing else for me apart from being everyone else's rock.

I spent years internalising and asking why I was invisible before eventually discovering that I wasn't at all and it was just my own perception based on previous rejection and therefore ignoring obvious signs.

I'm well aware that both men and women suffer rejection and it affects us all in different ways.

In unrelated threads I always say that I treat everyone equally regardless of race, creed, colour or gender and that is reflected in how I engage with them.

I can hold my own in any conversation but I'm not the life and soul of the party and don't force my personality on anyone in any situation.

In treating everyone equally that means I don't blow smoke up people's backsides or put people on pedestals and if a woman has a particularly bad attitude I will not engage with her regardless of what she looks like.

I have been accused a few times on here of "not being nice" which is hilarious based on every other experience I have ever had to the contrary. So what was the cardinal sin which led to those accusations?

I wasn't rude, nasty, insulting or mysogynistic. I simply didn't respond at all.

I have had messages from strangers saying how much they were looking forward to meeting me at a social and on the night they completely blanked me when I attempted to speak to them, only to message the following day to say they hadn't seen me at all.

Apologies for the ramble but my point is that I agree completely with the op that not everything is as it is portrayed on here and much of it is about optics and perception.

Very often one persons rejection is another's game playing and whipping out the victim card when it doesn't go to plan. Or maybe the victim card is the plan all along.

Regardless as I said at the start I can only speak from my experiences but I have no doubt whatsoever that some men like to play with both sides of the rejection card just as much as women so there will be a broad spectrum of examples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d appreciate another TL:DR "

I don’t know what that means

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’d appreciate another TL:DR

I don’t know what that means "

Me neither

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I don’t get rejected, people that say “no”, “urm” or “bleaurgh” have just made a tactical withdrawal to truly appreciate my magnificence , they’ll be back……………. They will………….honest………….hello?………..anybody?………bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/04/22 17:44:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d appreciate another TL:DR

I don’t know what that means

Me neither "

Too long didn’t read

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Social media has made it easier and more acceptable to spread gender based toxicity. It’s often a minority who shout about it but they shout loud and drown out those that seek fairness across the boards.

p.s. sorry for the bad things that happened to you

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’d appreciate another TL:DR

I don’t know what that means

Me neither

Too long didn’t read"

Ah ok thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d appreciate another TL:DR

I don’t know what that means

Me neither

Too long didn’t read"

Thank you thank you thank you.

Tytyty

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

Very often one persons rejection is another's game playing and whipping out the victim card when it doesn't go to plan. Or maybe the victim card is the plan all along.

"

I always seem to find myself nodding along with you when I read your posts, and this one is no exception.

This part I wanted to highlight, because I completely agree, in some cases there is certainly an element of playing the victim.

Not all though, although I doubt you would have wanted to imply that (and didn't, I am merely stressing the point).

Game playing on fab is absolutely another subject, but linked... as some use it to make themselves feel good and either don't realise or don't care how that, and the subsequent rejection, makes others feel.

I find that sad.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

[Removed by poster at 20/04/22 19:18:35]

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Many of us don't have realistic expectations and so are biased in our outlook. Most people are also not very mutually compatible with most other people.

It's amazing really that so many of us carry on, despite the effort, the hurt some feel and any other negatives that some experience. Perhaps it's more surprising that despite the odds of failure, not that many of us have mastery of letting it be like the water off a duck's back, by the start of adulthood.

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