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"I'm the opposite. Noise irritates me and my tolerance to noise can vary. If I've been busy and spent a lot of time in noisy environments I often have to go and shut myself away on my own in silence. I also can't read if there's background noise. " Mr KC is very similar, Lacey. I have no idea how we've managed to live in harmony for 18 years! | |||
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"I'm the opposite. Noise irritates me and my tolerance to noise can vary. If I've been busy and spent a lot of time in noisy environments I often have to go and shut myself away on my own in silence. I also can't read if there's background noise. " I am with you. I love nature's sounds like the birds, the waves by the sea, the cicadas on the trees on holiday. However I am not keen on very noise environments or excessive disturbance from others and will remove myself from that situation and seek some peace and quiet. At least for a little while. | |||
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"I'm the opposite. Noise irritates me and my tolerance to noise can vary. If I've been busy and spent a lot of time in noisy environments I often have to go and shut myself away on my own in silence. I also can't read if there's background noise. Mr KC is very similar, Lacey. I have no idea how we've managed to live in harmony for 18 years! " My nesting partner is more like you and often has the radio on. Sometimes the radio and the TV I'm lucky that he likes to go out to the pub or to watch football and I get to stay home alone with the cat. I honestly don't know how I'd cope with kids. Otherwise I end up staying up late. Not so great for getting a good night's sleep but I do love the quiet of night time. | |||
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"I'm the opposite. Noise irritates me and my tolerance to noise can vary. If I've been busy and spent a lot of time in noisy environments I often have to go and shut myself away on my own in silence. I also can't read if there's background noise. Mr KC is very similar, Lacey. I have no idea how we've managed to live in harmony for 18 years! My nesting partner is more like you and often has the radio on. Sometimes the radio and the TV I'm lucky that he likes to go out to the pub or to watch football and I get to stay home alone with the cat. I honestly don't know how I'd cope with kids. Otherwise I end up staying up late. Not so great for getting a good night's sleep but I do love the quiet of night time. " Mr KC often retires to the dining room, where he can do his modelling and maybe play a PC game, while I might have the TV on in the living room. He sometimes takes the odd random day off work to do very little and to be quiet at home. When I'm working from home, I have the radio or TV on in the background. Our son is now rarely home but he will often be playing music in his room. Our daughter is fairly constantly outputting some kind of sound. She's not terribly loud, just low level, constant chit chat as she plays... I'm happy with nature sounds too, it doesn't have to be mechanical noise that keeps my brain ticking. The moo of cows or baa of sheep is perfectly good background noise for me! | |||
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"I love the silence and grew up with it, the quiet time zoning out reading a book or drawing has continued into adulthood. I equally like noise though at the appropriate time. The only time I struggle with silence, oddly, is when I go to sleep. I need low background noise whether that be music, the TV or an audio book, it probably stems from boarding school as it was never silent when it was sleep time. " I've always been an avid reader. But as a child, I read a book curled up on a chair while someone else had the TV on, or on my bed with my stereo or Walkman on. | |||
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"You're not alone, I can't stand silence either. Never lived in a quiet household, always have to have some kind of background noise which is usually music or the news. Px" Hurrah, you can join me in the noisy room | |||
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"I never get silence. The tinnitus screams at me. Would be weird without it though." Same here as ^ Amazing how you get used to it always ringing That said, I used to love silence (pre kids and tinnitus lol) | |||
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"You're not alone, I can't stand silence either. Never lived in a quiet household, always have to have some kind of background noise which is usually music or the news. Px Hurrah, you can join me in the noisy room " Yay! | |||
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"I just hear the voices..... I actually have tinnitus so i never have silence. " I have tinnitus too, but the kind of "white noise" it generates for me, isn't the right kind of noise! I'm now headed for the gym, where the high tempo music will be music to my ears (and possibly one reason I have tinnitus! ) | |||
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"Tinnitus ensures that I will never know what silence is " For reasons I don't entirely understand, I don't distinguish between "tinnitus silence" and actual silence. If it's just tinnitus and me, that's my silence and it's more often than not disconcerting I'm sorry if your tinnitus distresses you. (Corrected typos from previous effort!) | |||
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"The lost art of doing fuck all. No phones, telly. Laying there and doing absolutely fuck all. In silence. Magical! " I've never been a do-er of nothing. Anyone who sat still long enough in my childhood days would be set to work doing some hoovering or peeling potatoes or ironing. Or anything that wasn't sitting doing nothing | |||
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"School run it's half term or do your kids go to school during Easter?" It's no longer Easter hols for my daughter's school. First day back today. There were about 150 other kids in uniforms all agreeing with us this morning. I DID once try to send my son to school on a holiday day though | |||
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"People who listen to ASMR or white noise, how does that differ for you to listening to music or the radio or something? I've never particularly "got on" with noise that has no purpose (if that makes sense?) even if I'm not properly listening. For example, I often put the lunchtime news on while I work from home but rarely actually LISTEN to it. However, I don't think white noise would give me the same (weird) benefit? I like hearing voices having a (any) chat. It feels more like a workplace, where there are often conversations in the background, but that I'm not concentrating on." People who feel the ASMR may listen to it for that reason, which differs to other background noise. | |||
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"Hello darkness my old friend..." Swing, how many times have I asked you to keep our pet names secret. I'll have to come and talk with you again... | |||
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"Hello darkness my old friend... Swing, how many times have I asked you to keep our pet names secret. I'll have to come and talk with you again... " I can't wait | |||
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"Hello darkness my old friend... Swing, how many times have I asked you to keep our pet names secret. I'll have to come and talk with you again... I can't wait " Coffee? We can drink in silence | |||
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"Hello darkness my old friend... Swing, how many times have I asked you to keep our pet names secret. I'll have to come and talk with you again... I can't wait Coffee? We can drink in silence " I'm not sure I'm capable of that | |||
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"I am amazed at the amount of people that can’t stand silence. The constant need to be entertained by music or chatter. How do you ever stop and think? When do you take some time to ponder the great questions or be self aware? I suppose that’s the point. Evasion. " Wow. There's so much assumption in the content here, that I don't even know where to start. "To be entertained by...." No, that's not what I've described. I've described working, studying etc (to very high standards) with music or TV on in the background. I've stated that I'm rarely paying attention to what is actually being said, though I will often sing along with the radio. My brain does not focus on tasks in silence. I believe it's a function of my upbringing, which again, I have described. As for suggesting one cannot be self aware or ponder "great questions" without silence. Well. A typical light hearted chit chat in this house might centre around whether Man will ever live on Mars, or tonight's topic "what is self compassion?". All discussed with the radio on. I've worked in research labs in the past and, contrary to popular portrayals, are not quiet, studious places. They're usually large multi-user spaces, with "write up" areas that centre around open desk space. Maybe the more senior researchers will have their own private offices, but the lab rats doing the donkey work will be working in busy, definitely not silent places, pondering on the big questions. Finally, to suggest people who find silence uncomfortable are therefore not self aware or evade it, I think that says more about your assumptions than it does about anyone who has stated a preference for non-silent spaces. You will note that no-one who DOES prefer silence has been ridiculed or teased and no random assumptions have been made about those preferring silence. If you prefer silence, then that's great for you. Some people like Marmite and others think it's the devil's smegma. We don't all find the same things pleasant/nice/appropriate or whatever. | |||
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"I am amazed at the amount of people that can’t stand silence. The constant need to be entertained by music or chatter. How do you ever stop and think? When do you take some time to ponder the great questions or be self aware? I suppose that’s the point. Evasion. Wow. There's so much assumption in the content here, that I don't even know where to start. "To be entertained by...." No, that's not what I've described. I've described working, studying etc (to very high standards) with music or TV on in the background. I've stated that I'm rarely paying attention to what is actually being said, though I will often sing along with the radio. My brain does not focus on tasks in silence. I believe it's a function of my upbringing, which again, I have described. As for suggesting one cannot be self aware or ponder "great questions" without silence. Well. A typical light hearted chit chat in this house might centre around whether Man will ever live on Mars, or tonight's topic "what is self compassion?". All discussed with the radio on. I've worked in research labs in the past and, contrary to popular portrayals, are not quiet, studious places. They're usually large multi-user spaces, with "write up" areas that centre around open desk space. Maybe the more senior researchers will have their own private offices, but the lab rats doing the donkey work will be working in busy, definitely not silent places, pondering on the big questions. Finally, to suggest people who find silence uncomfortable are therefore not self aware or evade it, I think that says more about your assumptions than it does about anyone who has stated a preference for non-silent spaces. You will note that no-one who DOES prefer silence has been ridiculed or teased and no random assumptions have been made about those preferring silence. If you prefer silence, then that's great for you. Some people like Marmite and others think it's the devil's smegma. We don't all find the same things pleasant/nice/appropriate or whatever. " Oooh! Someone’s triggered easily. Take a little calm time sweetie. | |||
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"Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to meet with you again...." I think Swing was singing that earlier | |||
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"Depends on what you mean by silence. Silence as in an empty area where the sounds are normal i.e. hum of machines, sound of the wind blowing, empty house - all perfectly fine. Unnatural silence to me is off putting, it doesnt sit right and makes me wary, since it doesnt fit the situation." The "silence" the other morning was a completely empty house, in which I didn't have to work (that combo is very rare indeed!) I found the empty house silence unpleasant so stuck a news channel on. Then I did some admin for my Grandad's Estate, which I felt I could focus on with the chatter in the background. I went to a spa today and found that the pan pipes type spa "music" was enough not-silence to allow me to read my book. I'd chose later to carry on reading in a café rather than anywhere quieter. Mr KC does like more quiet time, although not necessarily silence. He has his quiet places to go and hole up | |||
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"It was the first thing that popped into my head.think I prefer the disturbed version " Wasn't the original Simon and Garfunkel? I'll listen to the Disturbed one tomorrow. I'm currently in bed with a sleeping man next to me (but not silence, because of his breathing ) | |||
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"It was the first thing that popped into my head.think I prefer the disturbed version Wasn't the original Simon and Garfunkel? I'll listen to the Disturbed one tomorrow. I'm currently in bed with a sleeping man next to me (but not silence, because of his breathing )" I guess his breathing is more comforting than him not breathing | |||
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"Silence is golden. Just making yourself comfortable grabbing a good book and enjoy the peace and quiet. " I read with music on So long as you are happy and enjoying your book, that's the main thing! | |||
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"It was the first thing that popped into my head.think I prefer the disturbed version Wasn't the original Simon and Garfunkel? I'll listen to the Disturbed one tomorrow. I'm currently in bed with a sleeping man next to me (but not silence, because of his breathing )I guess his breathing is more comforting than him not breathing " I'll confess that I do very much like him breathing, yes I'd also accept the reassuring sound of little snores. I'm sure I'm not the only parent who has felt the need to look more closely at a sleeping child, because they do an uncanny impression of completely silent breathing?! | |||
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"I adore silence. I find it cathartic and calming. I work in silence most of the time. I also find it ridiculously easy to "blot out" other noises around me. Too easy sometimes. I just zone out and double down on a task at hand. To the extent that if I am "in the zone", I will not even hear my mobile phone 2 feet away from me. Mrs DS had to come and investigate why I wasn't answering the phone, which she heard from another room. All I remember was being engrossed in a deeply technical issue, and suddenly I was being prodded and yelled at. And in that split second of having to change focus, I was adrift. I didn't know who I was, what I was doing, or where I was. As I entered reality, it felt like opening and stepping through a door in to another world. Like going somewhere you have never been before. It was...strange. " I'm sure lots of other people feel similarly to you about wanting or needing silence to focus. Our brains all work differently... Do you do well with multi tasking generally? I ask because I'm fairly sure part of my no-silence-ness is related to the constant multi tasking I was brought up with or was conditioned to do. If I sat down quietly in the living room at home, my mother would have had a mop or a hoover in my hand before I "developed cobwebs" or some similarly disparaging comment about it being lazy to sit and do nothing. We're all products of our upbringing, to a greater or lesser extent... | |||
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"It was the first thing that popped into my head.think I prefer the disturbed version Wasn't the original Simon and Garfunkel? I'll listen to the Disturbed one tomorrow. I'm currently in bed with a sleeping man next to me (but not silence, because of his breathing )I guess his breathing is more comforting than him not breathing I'll confess that I do very much like him breathing, yes I'd also accept the reassuring sound of little snores. I'm sure I'm not the only parent who has felt the need to look more closely at a sleeping child, because they do an uncanny impression of completely silent breathing?! " No I remember having to have a closer look just to make sure my little one was still breathing,I think it's a built in reaction to being a parent | |||
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" Do you do well with multi tasking generally? I ask because I'm fairly sure part of my no-silence-ness is related to the constant multi tasking I was brought up with or was conditioned to do. " I don't multi-task generally or even specifically. It's one task at a time. I remember when I was 12 being asked to clean the bathroom. After an hour, Mum came in to see how I was doing. I was still working on the bath and tiles around it. She said it shouldn't take that long. I said "It will if every tile and all the grouting in between needs cleaning, and each mm of the bath needs cleaning, each groove, each recess, etc etc." She left me to it and I finished 4 hours later. That room was clean, almost to a surgical degree. Anything else, to my mind would have been a half-arsed attempt. For some reason, she never asked me to clean again, which did upset me as I really enjoyed the task and the level of effort and detail needed to do it. As you say, we are all products of our upbringing to some extent, at least. | |||
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"I am amazed at the amount of people that can’t stand silence. The constant need to be entertained by music or chatter. How do you ever stop and think? When do you take some time to ponder the great questions or be self aware? I suppose that’s the point. Evasion. Wow. There's so much assumption in the content here, that I don't even know where to start. "To be entertained by...." No, that's not what I've described. I've described working, studying etc (to very high standards) with music or TV on in the background. I've stated that I'm rarely paying attention to what is actually being said, though I will often sing along with the radio. My brain does not focus on tasks in silence. I believe it's a function of my upbringing, which again, I have described. As for suggesting one cannot be self aware or ponder "great questions" without silence. Well. A typical light hearted chit chat in this house might centre around whether Man will ever live on Mars, or tonight's topic "what is self compassion?". All discussed with the radio on. I've worked in research labs in the past and, contrary to popular portrayals, are not quiet, studious places. They're usually large multi-user spaces, with "write up" areas that centre around open desk space. Maybe the more senior researchers will have their own private offices, but the lab rats doing the donkey work will be working in busy, definitely not silent places, pondering on the big questions. Finally, to suggest people who find silence uncomfortable are therefore not self aware or evade it, I think that says more about your assumptions than it does about anyone who has stated a preference for non-silent spaces. You will note that no-one who DOES prefer silence has been ridiculed or teased and no random assumptions have been made about those preferring silence. If you prefer silence, then that's great for you. Some people like Marmite and others think it's the devil's smegma. We don't all find the same things pleasant/nice/appropriate or whatever. Oooh! Someone’s triggered easily. Take a little calm time sweetie. " Your condescension is delightful, isn't it? | |||
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"I quite like the "Devil's smegma". Especially when it's spread ever so thinly like veneer over warm buttered sourdough. But I digress." But do you like it in silence? That's the key question! | |||
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"I quite like the "Devil's smegma". Especially when it's spread ever so thinly like veneer over warm buttered sourdough. But I digress. But do you like it in silence? That's the key question!" • Ssh! I am in quiescent mode...but yes, to answer your question. X | |||
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" Oooh! Someone’s triggered easily. Take a little calm time sweetie. " The thing is people do judge others in this way and it is annoying. Old (as in previous job) colleagues have said the same thing “when do you get time to think” or “can’t you stand your own thoughts”. As a psychologists I have to embrace silence all the time. Silence is a tool to psychologists. I do enjoy silence too, but I also enjoy music. Your condescending reply kinda reinforces the point. | |||
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"I love silence... and being the weirdo I am I will put the radio on or YouTube 'calming music for dogs' before I leave for work and turn it off when I get home " I thought I was the weirdo for NOT liking silence We shall all be weirdos together, but with quiet and noisy rooms for all | |||
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"A fellow tinnitus sufferer here...luckily I only notice it when I notice it " Same here. I noticed it as soon as I stumbled upon this thread! The odd thing about my tinnitus is that it takes the form of a steady high pitched tone something in the order of 15KHz or so which would have been way out of my hearing range since about my late 20s. At that time I could hear a 625 line TV whistle. One day when I can be bothered I will try beating it with a swept signal generator to see if I can establish the exact frequency of it. | |||
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"I love silence... and being the weirdo I am I will put the radio on or YouTube 'calming music for dogs' before I leave for work and turn it off when I get home I thought I was the weirdo for NOT liking silence We shall all be weirdos together, but with quiet and noisy rooms for all " I am deffo a weirdo and that sounds good to me | |||
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"I love silence... and being the weirdo I am I will put the radio on or YouTube 'calming music for dogs' before I leave for work and turn it off when I get home I thought I was the weirdo for NOT liking silence We shall all be weirdos together, but with quiet and noisy rooms for all I am deffo a weirdo and that sounds good to me " Weirdos shall rule the world! | |||
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