FabSwingers.com forum: Bang!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...and the dirt is gone?

Fuck off Barry Scott, bang and an hour of scrubbing later, the kitchen floor is still not the colour it used to be!

What product claims have disappointed you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lynx sprays… grew up thinking Africa would get me women and how very wrong I was

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lynx sprays… grew up thinking Africa would get me women and how very wrong I was

Yeah, and how do you actually sum up a whole continent in one can of deodorant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock pump - promised all kinds of magic but I'm still only 14 inches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lynx sprays… grew up thinking Africa would get me women and how very wrong I was

Yeah, and how do you actually sum up a whole continent in one can of deodorant? "

I’d imagine it smelling more like animals and grasslands than what it actually smells of which I’m still unsure of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My cock pump - promised all kinds of magic but I'm still only 14 inches

Weener, weener!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

To date no perfume has had me wafting around with famous people in exotic locations, draped in more fabric than I'll need in a lifetime

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

They said "life's pretty straight without Twisties".

I gave up Twisties. Heck, can't get them in this country anyway.

Still bi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously drinking red bull didn’t give me wings.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They said "life's pretty straight without Twisties".

I gave up Twisties. Heck, can't get them in this country anyway.

Still bi."

Gross deception!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Obviously drinking red bull didn’t give me wings. "

Still an angel though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vanish

. Everyone’s still here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"One sheet does plenty."

Does it fuck.

"Bounty - the 'stronger soaker upper'"

Bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""One sheet does plenty."

Does it fuck.

"Bounty - the 'stronger soaker upper'"

Bollocks.

That Juan fella is an irritating wanker too!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Vanish

. Everyone’s still here

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Lynx sprays… grew up thinking Africa would get me women and how very wrong I was

Yeah, and how do you actually sum up a whole continent in one can of deodorant? "

Not sure, I was deployed to Africa last year. That bit just smelled of burnt dust and the honey wagon twice a week.

(The honey wagon is not what you think)

I'm never smelled either of those notes when a teenager doused in it walks past me.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

""One sheet does plenty."

Does it fuck.

"Bounty - the 'stronger soaker upper'"

Bollocks.

That Juan fella is an irritating wanker too!"

Am I the only one that thought he said "just Juan shit"?

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"...and the dirt is gone?

Fuck off Barry Scott, bang and an hour of scrubbing later, the kitchen floor is still not the colour it used to be!

What product claims have disappointed you?"
lol OP

Brilliant..

I'd have to say commercial wooden floor products, (stains and finishings)

The level of stuff this side of the pond that you can buy in a DIY or trade counter store is rubbish compared to the States,, so it does what it says on the can,,, me Bollix,

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"...and the dirt is gone?

Fuck off Barry Scott, bang and an hour of scrubbing later, the kitchen floor is still not the colour it used to be!

What product claims have disappointed you?"

--you're a terrible scrubber, clearly

tbh, most kinds of products like that

Tried a steamer?

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

""One sheet does plenty."

Does it fuck.

"Bounty - the 'stronger soaker upper'"

Bollocks.

That Juan fella is an irritating wanker too!

Am I the only one that thought he said "just Juan shit"?"

No, you're not.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time."

Yeah, but it IS banned in 9 countries

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

Carlsberg, possibly the worst lager in the world

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time.

Yeah, but it IS banned in 9 countries"

This idea that something is banned, therefore it must be desirable - fucking bizarre. I don't get people

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

Changing the bedding is the one thing I'd pay someone to do for me on the regular.

Also the reason I don't accommodate. Screw putting a clean "fitted sheet" on for a shag then having to do it all over again afterwards

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By *ogisticalBigManMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I’d imagine it smelling more like animals and grasslands than what it actually smells of which I’m still unsure of"

Well on the Daily fragrance bottles (the small pump sprays) it claims to be apple and sandalwood but I'm still not convinced.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time.

Yeah, but it IS banned in 9 countries

This idea that something is banned, therefore it must be desirable - fucking bizarre. I don't get people

But you do get the reference right?…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab

Join us for an instashag

Major lack of bollock action

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

Duvet covers, I can do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

Duvet covers, I can do!"

Done! Sorry Posh, I'm booked now.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time.

Yeah, but it IS banned in 9 countries

This idea that something is banned, therefore it must be desirable - fucking bizarre. I don't get people

But you do get the reference right?…"

Nope. Don't engage in much pop culture. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time.

Yeah, but it IS banned in 9 countries

This idea that something is banned, therefore it must be desirable - fucking bizarre. I don't get people

But you do get the reference right?…

Nope. Don't engage in much pop culture. Sorry."

Stay Classy, Swing.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sex panther.

Actually only works 40% of the time every time.

Yeah, but it IS banned in 9 countries

This idea that something is banned, therefore it must be desirable - fucking bizarre. I don't get people

But you do get the reference right?…

Nope. Don't engage in much pop culture. Sorry.

Stay Classy, Swing.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

Duvet covers, I can do!

Done! Sorry Posh, I'm booked now."

I can't do a stupid duvet cover without swearing either. Well, a single I can manage. But not this stupid super king size extra long because the bed is 7 foot long bullcrap thing.

Dammit.

Posh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...and the dirt is gone?

Fuck off Barry Scott, bang and an hour of scrubbing later, the kitchen floor is still not the colour it used to be!

What product claims have disappointed you?

--you're a terrible scrubber, clearly

tbh, most kinds of products like that

Tried a steamer? "

What? Spend money to get the best tool for the job?

I am happier doing it on the cheap and complaining how it doesn't work!

As for my scrubbing abilities ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

Duvet covers, I can do!

Done! Sorry Posh, I'm booked now.

I can't do a stupid duvet cover without swearing either. Well, a single I can manage. But not this stupid super king size extra long because the bed is 7 foot long bullcrap thing.

Dammit.

Posh

Duvet covers are, I am sure, living things.

The wayvthey struggle when you handle them!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""One sheet does plenty."

Does it fuck.

"Bounty - the 'stronger soaker upper'"

Bollocks.

That Juan fella is an irritating wanker too!

Am I the only one that thought he said "just Juan shit"?"

You are definitely not!

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

I used to find this. Then I found that mattresses are different depths and got the right size ones.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

Duvet covers, I can do!

Done! Sorry Posh, I'm booked now.

I can't do a stupid duvet cover without swearing either. Well, a single I can manage. But not this stupid super king size extra long because the bed is 7 foot long bullcrap thing.

Dammit.

Posh

Duvet covers are, I am sure, living things.

The wayvthey struggle when you handle them!"

The inside out method is your friend here. Piece of widdle even on a king size.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"Fitted sheet.

Fitted fucking sheet my arse. Three corners, fine. But that last corner means folding the bastard mattress practically in half to get it on.

And then the thing pings off or starts rolling off the corner.

End rant. Apologies.

Posh

Our bed agrees

You two are obviously not doing it right. Mine stay lovely and flat once it's on. Jealous much?

Congratulations. You just made a grown woman cry and turned the air blue all in one go

Tell you what, I'll change your sheets if you'll change my duvet cover. That is the devil's invention.

Duvet covers, I can do!

Done! Sorry Posh, I'm booked now.

I can't do a stupid duvet cover without swearing either. Well, a single I can manage. But not this stupid super king size extra long because the bed is 7 foot long bullcrap thing.

Dammit.

Posh

Duvet covers are, I am sure, living things.

The wayvthey struggle when you handle them!"

They are evil, Jennie. EVIL.

Apparently I am ot allowed to decree that it is too warm for a duvet though

Posh

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