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"Be like a dog, just shake it off and then wag your tail chasing something that makes you happy. " Wise words | |||
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"I do, as I have anxiety really bad. Years layer I can think of what happened and feel a flash of anxiety about it. Has to be something really bad though. " Same here, I ruminate too x | |||
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"It's natural to want to reflect on what happens, but if this turns to rumination it can be very damaging Its good that you've realised the impact and taken accountability, even if you didn't realise at the time. Once you've made the personal apology, then i think you have to let the dust settle. Perhaps you can check back in after an appropriate amount of time.. But my general advice would be you have to respect the other person's position and find a way to move forward and put it behind you and let it go. Its really hard when friendships collapse x" Thank you for this | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down " We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. | |||
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"If I did I’d get nothing done! " I can ruminate and get shit done. Hooray for practiced maladaptive behaviour | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though." What did you do? | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? " I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows " sounds like a typical day on fab tbh.... load a few more pics to your local updates and move on. ws never going to work out anyway | |||
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"I still come out in a cold sweat over stupid things I did 50 years ago. I think it's nature's way of reminding me not to be an idiot. If only it would work, I still find new and varied ways of being stupid " Too true | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows " Sounds like they do have the problem and it's not you. Like what has been said before forget and move on its there loss not yours if there not mature enough to communicate with you properly at the correct then they were not a true friend, she was probably using you until something else came along. | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows Sounds like they do have the problem and it's not you. Like what has been said before forget and move on its there loss not yours if there not mature enough to communicate with you properly at the correct then they were not a true friend, she was probably using you until something else came along." I do hope that's not the case though it's not nice being used. | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows Sounds like they do have the problem and it's not you. Like what has been said before forget and move on its there loss not yours if there not mature enough to communicate with you properly at the correct then they were not a true friend, she was probably using you until something else came along. I do hope that's not the case though it's not nice being used." Yes but there are some odd people on this site | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows Sounds like they do have the problem and it's not you. Like what has been said before forget and move on its there loss not yours if there not mature enough to communicate with you properly at the correct then they were not a true friend, she was probably using you until something else came along. I do hope that's not the case though it's not nice being used. Yes but there are some odd people on this site " No she was a lovely lady I just need to dust myself down and move on to pastures new | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows " Sounds like she should be the one feeling shit, not you. Chin up. Remember the good times. | |||
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"Yes I do but we all make mistakes and it's all part of life. Learn from it and in time you may be able to talk to the person involved once things have calmed down We do all make mistakes I doubt they will want to talk to me again though. What did you do? I'm not entirely sure we had a few meets lately and when messaging the following day she said she they were good night's or words to that effect Then a couple of weeks later i get told she didn't enjoy them , I've took it on the chin because I'm not going argue life really is to short for that, I just wonder whether she had got bored of me and it was her way of breaking things off ...who knows Sounds like she should be the one feeling shit, not you. Chin up. Remember the good times. " Thanks I'm sure Im to blame somewhere along the line just wish I'd known earlier I could have done something about it | |||
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"Always best to apogize as down as possible so never let something fester for either one. I am not keen on ignoring stuff hoping they go away. I like to sort it out and then move on. I will quite happily pretend it was sort of my fault as I know some people find it very hard to say sorry or accept that are in the wrong. Life is too short " The problem is I didn't know until two week after that I'd done anything wrong I just think from there point of view things had run its course which is such a shame as I really liked them ..still nothing lasts for ever. | |||
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"I’d try and make amends or offer my apologies. If they don’t accept, there’s not much more you can do. Why waste energy worrying about it. " I've already apologised I will leave it with them I think She has my number if she ever wants to get in touch | |||
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"Always best to apogize as down as possible so never let something fester for either one. I am not keen on ignoring stuff hoping they go away. I like to sort it out and then move on. I will quite happily pretend it was sort of my fault as I know some people find it very hard to say sorry or accept that are in the wrong. Life is too short The problem is I didn't know until two week after that I'd done anything wrong I just think from there point of view things had run its course which is such a shame as I really liked them ..still nothing lasts for ever." That's true and as you say you were not even aware | |||
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"I overthink everything and always need closure (it’s definitely a curse!). I will often remember something stupid I’ve said or done years down the line and feel the dread and regret all over again. It’s all the more difficult to give yourself closure if you don’t truly understand what you did wrong in the first place, but it sounds as though the situation wasn’t necessarily a healthy one for you OP. Give yourself a short time limit to dwell on it and then you need to brush yourself down and walk away with your head high. L x" Thank you | |||
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"Be like a dog, just shake it off and then wag your tail chasing something that makes you happy. Wise words " I was just about to write the same. Wise words...depending on the situation probably easier said than done. But,.with time it becomes easier. Self reflection is foos but don't keep bearing yourself up about it. Sorry to see you are in that spot..it does make it worse when you didn't mean it xx | |||
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"Be like a dog, just shake it off and then wag your tail chasing something that makes you happy. Wise words I was just about to write the same. Wise words...depending on the situation probably easier said than done. But,.with time it becomes easier. Self reflection is foos but don't keep bearing yourself up about it. Sorry to see you are in that spot..it does make it worse when you didn't mean it xx" Thank you | |||
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"If there is no way to make it up to the other person then I try to file it under "lesson learned" and move on. Guilt is a pretty useless emotion unless you try to view it as teaching you something. If you were an absolute horrible bastard then you wouldn't feel bad. So there's a positive. Remember that acting this way made you feel shit, so protect yourself in the future and try not to act that way again." Again very wise words thank you It just the fact I've lost the friendship that's really playing on my mind but hey people come and people go I guess. | |||
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"If there is no way to make it up to the other person then I try to file it under "lesson learned" and move on. Guilt is a pretty useless emotion unless you try to view it as teaching you something. If you were an absolute horrible bastard then you wouldn't feel bad. So there's a positive. Remember that acting this way made you feel shit, so protect yourself in the future and try not to act that way again. Again very wise words thank you It just the fact I've lost the friendship that's really playing on my mind but hey people come and people go I guess." Your right there it dosnt matter if it's the swinging world or vanilla people will come in and out of your life and there's not much you can do about it There are plenty of other people out there and from looking at your profile you seem like a wonderful guy who is popular As others have said chin up and stuff em | |||
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"Don't blame yourself. Seems like you just said "good night"...am I understanding that correctly? I'd say that to friends if its getting late and I want to go to bed. Maybe she felt it was progressing into more than friends territory, so why not communicate that instead. Saying goodnight is a nice thing. " I think she said good night to me still I've had all day to process my thoughts and thanks everyone for what seems to be common advice I'm not going to dwell anymore | |||
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"No brige is truely Burned if they cared for you at all Only briges that are truely burned are people who didn’t give a toss about you in the first place Yes it may take time it may take time way but if they cared at all there is always a chance to rebuild that brige We only humen we make mastkes we learn adapt and change " Not sure with this I suspect she does care but there are other factors in her life that have made her take the decisions she has ...plus also I probably didn't help matters Let bygones be bygones and we can all move on | |||
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"Water off a ducks back for myself. I don’t really give things much thought. If Iv said sorry and they don’t accept it then oh well. " Whats your secret how do you not worry ...that's what I'm interested in. How do other folks not worry ? | |||
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"It depends who and what. If it's someone close to me then I definitely dwell on it and feel guilty. If it's not then I'll feel bad for a short while but then move on." I'm not sure how close they were to me I thought we were getting in very well but clearly I got that wrong I just hope that if I bump into them again we can be friendly as they were lovely people. | |||
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"Definitely. I always think of scenarios it could've been avoided, who the mistake affected, what they think, how face doing the same task. Reflection is a good thing, but the way I do it may be unhealthy." I think I do exactly the same I need to find a healthier way of dealing with things | |||
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"We all upset people in life but what matters is intention. If you didn't intend to upset the person, then it's not something you need to dwell on. We all make mistakes and good people do bad things sometimes. Always apologise, acknowledge how you've made that person feel and move forward." Thank you wise advise from a fellow Brummy . I hope | |||
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"So recently I've done something stupid and upset someone of which I'm truly sorry,and I've burnt my bridges with them as well. I didn't realise I had caused the issue at the time which makes it even worse in my mind. I know I'll feel better in time and I hope they will too. What I want to know is what are your coping mechanisms when you've done something similar,are you like me where you keep thinking it through trying to learn how not to make the same mistake again or are you one of the lucky ones where by its like water off a ducks back to simply forget and move ? " this used to affect me quite a lot . I would have sleepless nights because of it . Somehow and I don't remember why I stopped caring what others think of my own mistakes and I'm OK now . We all make them as long as we learn from them then we should be allowed/able to move on without them influencing our lives too badly . | |||
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"We all upset people in life but what matters is intention. If you didn't intend to upset the person, then it's not something you need to dwell on. We all make mistakes and good people do bad things sometimes. Always apologise, acknowledge how you've made that person feel and move forward." This is sensible advice | |||
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"If I have done something stupid I won’t dwell on it but I will sit and think about how it came to be and to see if there was anything I could do differently in the future. If I can rectify it I will probably try but I will then move on. Life is too short to be crushed by your past and we all make mistakes." Too true | |||
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