FabSwingers.com forum: How do you spot a southerner in a crowd

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Off the back of another forum thread...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're being rude to everyone while simultaneously not talking to anyone.

Oh, they're also incredibly soft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them. "

Southerners dont own tractors!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're being rude to everyone while simultaneously not talking to anyone.

Oh, they're also incredibly soft.

Mr"

Being a former southerner, I can confirm this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them.

Southerners dont own tractors!!"

Oh so are we not talking about the SOUTH south?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees."

Im wearing a coat for anything under 23/24 degrees ngl

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

The look of horror on their face if you pass the time of day to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them.

Southerners dont own tractors!!

Oh so are we not talking about the SOUTH south?"

Anything below Watford gap is South

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees.

Im wearing a coat for anything under 23/24 degrees ngl "

Southerners

11 degrees is BBQ weather up here

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By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun

They think Luton airport is snowbound 365 days of the year.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Staring at you like you have 2 heads if you dare to talk whilst on the underground train.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them.

Southerners dont own tractors!!

Oh so are we not talking about the SOUTH south?

Anything below Watford gap is South"

*Plenty* of tractors below Watford gap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees.

Im wearing a coat for anything under 23/24 degrees ngl

Southerners

11 degrees is BBQ weather up here

This makes my eyes water

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

They're bent double under the weight of their enormous mortgage on a tiny property

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Staring at you like you have 2 heads if you dare to talk whilst on the underground train."

No but talking on the underground is scary because that definitely involves shouting or unnecessarily closeness

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

They've got a coat on in the underground

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're bent double under the weight of their enormous mortgage on a watered down pint"

True story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them.

Southerners dont own tractors!!

Oh so are we not talking about the SOUTH south?

Anything below Watford gap is South

*Plenty* of tractors below Watford gap

All owned by northerners we just tea leaf them

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

No eye contact.

No awareness of anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're the miserable as fuck one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They've got a coat on in the underground

Everyone does that, it's fucking freezing down there!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably has headphones in (not playing music, just as a deterrent).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No eye contact.

No awareness of anyone else"

Weaving your way through the slow walking northerners is real awareness

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"No eye contact.

No awareness of anyone else"

Oh, we're hyper aware, it takes a lot of effort to avoid eye contact for a whole journey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding. "

The food of gods.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Can tell you now, you will spot a Londoner very quickly if anyone dares to stand on the left, even for a second.

Please don't stand on the left.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

They'll be the ones in the crowd at a seaside town making visitors welcome and picking up their discarded McDonald's wrappers off the beach

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By *ary 121Man
over a year ago

East Bergholt

They will be the one getting a laugh at a northerners expense ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They’ll be wearing brogues with no socks and chinos that are too short, looking like Jimmy Saville’s understudy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They'll be the ones in the crowd at a seaside town making visitors welcome and picking up their discarded McDonald's wrappers off the beach"

So you saying most southerners are on community service? Fuck I wondered why I had a bright orange outfit last time I went to Brighton

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Avoiding eye contact with everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About right with some things though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They will be the one getting a laugh at a northerners expense ??"

Southerners don't know how to laugh.

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

They are dressed for officework... With trainers on and a backpack

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

They're the ones sneering at the northerners!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They will be the one getting a laugh at a northerners expense ??

Southerners don't know how to laugh. "

I laugh alllllllll the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They will be the one getting a laugh at a northerners expense ??

Southerners don't know how to laugh. "

We only do the polite ‘I have no idea what the fuck you just said’ laugh or we do a proper genuine belly laugh

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By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun

[Removed by poster at 16/04/22 22:55:39]

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By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun

They have a better standard of living, but are as miserable as fuck.

So they say.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"They're bent double under the weight of their enormous mortgage on a tiny property"

this.

although saying that, parts of Chester are dearer than Colchester.

Cheshire is the only Northern home county

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding. "

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They will be the one getting a laugh at a northerners expense ??

Southerners don't know how to laugh.

We only do the polite ‘I have no idea what the fuck you just said’ laugh or we do a proper genuine belly laugh"

I'm funny as fuck, and I lived south for 40 years so pfft!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Blimey! I'm out of this one

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

In a pub, they're the only ones not moaning about the price of a pint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They have a better standard of living, but are as miserable as fuck.

So they say."

It’s the rent. It’s the rent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They have a better standard of living, but are as miserable as fuck.

So they say.

It’s the rent. It’s the rent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blimey! I'm out of this one

Yep, the hatred is real

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Blimey! I'm out of this one

Yep, the hatred is real

Mr"

and the rents are unreal!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees.

Im wearing a coat for anything under 23/24 degrees ngl "

I'm sorry?!

I don't wear a coat in single digit weather (unless it's raining or very windy). Maybe I will at 6 or 7°C.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The only one wearing decent clothes.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

They'll have the proper haircut.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

They want be walking and talking like Perry when he returns from Manchester.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They'll be moaning how cold it is when they visit the North

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing "

So did I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing "

The northerners have spoken!!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

So did I. "

Pie mash and lick her?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

So did I.

Pie mash and lick her?

I could kill for some Cookes right now

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!"

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

Saveloy definitely, can't get one up here, they never even heard of it...and what the fuck is it about the term "bread cake" its a fucking roll ... as it says on the god damned packet!!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

It was invented in 'Oliver!' Food glorious Food lol

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

Saveloy definitely, can't get one up here, they never even heard of it...and what the fuck is it about the term "bread cake" its a fucking roll ... as it says on the god damned packet!!"

Nope, they say barmcakes here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

Saveloy definitely, can't get one up here, they never even heard of it...and what the fuck is it about the term "bread cake" its a fucking roll ... as it says on the god damned packet!!

Nope, they say barmcakes here

I took a work colleague to tesco once and told him "go find a bread cake" he came back with a packet of 6 burger buns ... Twat!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

It was invented in 'Oliver!' Food glorious Food lol

It was probably brought down south by servants who came south to wait on the southerners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ordering shandy at the bar

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

It was invented in 'Oliver!' Food glorious Food lol

It was probably brought down south by servants who came south to wait on the southerners.

Hehe

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Ordering shandy at the bar"

Only children drink shandy down south.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The southern lady will be the only one not drinking a pint.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

It was invented in 'Oliver!' Food glorious Food lol

It was probably brought down south by servants who came south to wait on the southerners.

Pease pudding/pottage descends from The North

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pease_pudding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're showing pics of their tractor to the person next to them.

Southerners dont own tractors!!"

Is so, why are there huge agri equipment dealers camped out on the A14.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Staring at you like you have 2 heads if you dare to talk whilst on the underground train.

No but talking on the underground is scary because that definitely involves shouting or unnecessarily closeness

Very few up north talk on an underground either. So it probably balances out

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They don't know what you're talking about if you mention pease pudding.

I love pease pudding with boiled bacon and cabbage

Me too... I always thought it was an East London thing

The northerners have spoken!!

I'm pretty sure pease pudding and saveloy was invented in London.

It was invented in 'Oliver!' Food glorious Food lol

It was probably brought down south by servants who came south to wait on the southerners.

Pease pudding/pottage descends from The North

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pease_pudding"

It's not so popular down here now. I still love it.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

From regularly listening in on conversations (normally in the lift at work) they moan as "they had to start work really early this morning at 8.45" and was "expected to work until 5.15" !! GET IN THE REAL WORLD YOU LAZY BASTARDS !!!

aaaannnddd breath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoying piss like beer with no head

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Their kind and friendly allways say hi to strangers x

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

They prefer/relate more with Eastenders than Emmerdale (??????)

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

They have salt n vinegar on there chips instead of gravy

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By *uttyjonnMan
over a year ago

SEA

They spend £2000 on a bike to cycle to the office

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

Their slow walk is very pacy. And their fast walk is like sprinting….. impatient bunch or what!

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

They don't have shiny faces

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 17/04/22 07:20:58]

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Deep down southerners will be sat with a pint of cider discussing the price of lambs this year

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

The one not talking to anyone as they don't talk to people they don't know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a North & South divide ?

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Staring at you like you have 2 heads if you dare to talk whilst on the underground train.

No but talking on the underground is scary because that definitely involves shouting or unnecessarily closeness

Very few up north talk on an underground either. So it probably balances out

Not used to such things as underground up north. They block every transport project anyway, from decent roads and trains to upgrading antiquainted airports but we do still have donkey rides although personally would not sit on one

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

"Is there a North & South divide ?

Anything above the Watford Gap.

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Is there a North & South divide ?

Anything above the Watford Gap. "

Mind the gap, mind the gap

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/22 08:35:50]

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

"Is there a North & South divide ?

Anything above the Watford Gap. "

You do realise that Watford Gap is in Northamtonshire and nowhere near Watford (just North of London)

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

When we correct anything you say about being south of us. Anymore south you'd get wet feet. No, we can't go south! Bourenmouth, beach, water = wet feet. Anymore south you drown.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"Deep down southerners will be sat with a pint of cider discussing the price of lambs this year"

Or skirting the fleece to spin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a North & South divide ?

Anything above the Watford Gap.

You do realise that Watford Gap is in Northamtonshire and nowhere near Watford (just North of London)

Thank you for the geography lesson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a North & South divide ?

Anything above the Watford Gap. "

Anything South of the Tyne for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol, you are from London (so a southerner), so lets see a picture of your tractor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who resurrected this

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

"lol, you are from London (so a southerner), so lets see a picture of your tractor"

Probably a Chelsea Tractor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you cant spot a southerner in a crowd because they are all at work.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Their slow walk is very pacy. And their fast walk is like sprinting….. impatient bunch or what!"

My kids used to moan about how fast I walked.

Now I'm old they have to slow down and wait for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol, you are from London (so a southerner), so lets see a picture of your tractor"

Real southerners LOVE tractors. Not us Londoners. We’re imposters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who resurrected this

I blame the southerners defending themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deep down southerners will be sat with a pint of cider discussing the price of lambs this year"

And a Combine harvester

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn

telescopic sight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Torn here with a northern lass and southerner.

Plight of many discussions

He always bangs on about france being closer to him than London but people always saw he is a cockney

She always pronounces stuff wrong or just makes up stupid words for stuff.

Either way

Southerners or northerners are equally soft or hard as either.

Will say though. The Northern contingent on here seem to be the sexier profiles (puts Tin hat on)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Who resurrected this

I blame the southerners defending themselves "

Not as soft as you think we are

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

The southerners are the ones with the straight backs.

The northerners are the ones with the bent backs.

I think it’s as a result of bearing the weight of the massive ‘working class’ chip they’ve been carrying on their shoulders all these years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live for drama. Honestly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Torn here with a northern lass and southerner.

Plight of many discussions

He always bangs on about france being closer to him than London but people always saw he is a cockney

She always pronounces stuff wrong or just makes up stupid words for stuff.

Either way

Southerners or northerners are equally soft or hard as either.

Will say though. The Northern contingent on here seem to be the sexier profiles (puts Tin hat on)"

You callin us ugly?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Who resurrected this

Me I think

I only started this thread off the back of the one someone started about Northeners. It's all just meant to be banter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who resurrected this

Me I think

I only started this thread off the back of the one someone started about Northeners. It's all just meant to be banter

It’s funny. I think. Can’t tell if some of it is real hatred or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Torn here with a northern lass and southerner.

Plight of many discussions

He always bangs on about france being closer to him than London but people always saw he is a cockney

She always pronounces stuff wrong or just makes up stupid words for stuff.

Either way

Southerners or northerners are equally soft or hard as either.

Will say though. The Northern contingent on here seem to be the sexier profiles (puts Tin hat on)

You callin us ugly?

Cheryl Cole Vs Iain Dowie. The evidence is there for all to see

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"Deep down southerners will be sat with a pint of cider discussing the price of lambs this year"

There was an upturn in the run up to Easter as expected but still down on earlier prices this year.

The rolling 4/5 year average is up nearly 50 pence a kilo.

The cull ewe price has been buoyed by Ramadan but that will probably ease again now.

Quick summary of the AHDB report

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Torn here with a northern lass and southerner.

Plight of many discussions

He always bangs on about france being closer to him than London but people always saw he is a cockney

She always pronounces stuff wrong or just makes up stupid words for stuff.

Either way

Southerners or northerners are equally soft or hard as either.

Will say though. The Northern contingent on here seem to be the sexier profiles (puts Tin hat on)

You callin us ugly?

Cheryl Cole Vs Iain Dowie. The evidence is there for all to see

this is the funniest vs I’ve ever seen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Who resurrected this

Me I think

I only started this thread off the back of the one someone started about Northeners. It's all just meant to be banter

It’s funny. I think. Can’t tell if some of it is real hatred or not

I like to think not

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees."

Definitely this. I am a soft southerner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/22 11:02:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wearing a coat when it’s 15 degrees.

Definitely this. I am a soft southerner.

Some of us bought jumpers when the beast of the east hit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who resurrected this

Me I think

I only started this thread off the back of the one someone started about Northeners. It's all just meant to be banter

It’s funny. I think. Can’t tell if some of it is real hatred or not

I like to think not

As just proven on the northerner thread, some people just don't have banter ability

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By *orello-pieWoman
over a year ago

southwest

I think we need to distinguish between south East and south west, we’re generally much friendlier in the south west xxx happy Easter

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