FabSwingers.com forum: Sexual fluidity

By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Received a reply from a woman

She wondered if I played with guys

Despite this not being indicated on my profile, we are on Fab so I guess it is a fair enough question. Anyway, I replied that I was 100% hetero and it appears to have been a dealbreaker, which is disappointing as she was very attractive.

It made me question though if anyone who previously considered themselves straight had decided to experiment with the same sex as a way of getting it on with the object of their (heterosexual) desire.

If so, did you regret it? Or has it sent you down a path of pansexual bliss?

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"Received a reply from a woman

She wondered if I played with guys

either that or she would suddenly produce a bi male FWB hitherto not mentioned on her profile for you to play with before meeting her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve always been attracted to women, as well as men.

The only reason I state ‘straight’ is because I’m

not interested in putting on a show blah blah etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was “straight” until i met a couple from fab years ago

After we had had fun, his gf asked if i woukd share his cock

As i was still mega horny, i did

Never ever regretted it

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By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I was “straight” until i met a couple from fab years ago

After we had had fun, his gf asked if i woukd share his cock

As i was still mega horny, i did

Never ever regretted it"

I don't know if I'd react the same way but I can see how that might happen in a highly sexually charged scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty op

But it’s not really out curiosity or anything

I asked guys in the past

When i did the answer was always the same

They joined fab think they be knee deep

2-3-4-5 month go past with nothing

As they not put In the work

Bad profiles not good pics bad messages and just bad luck

Then they see tv/ts as the next best thing

So meet one and then leave site

The way they explained it

I was just a hole to use so the last 5 months wasn’t a waste off time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I just can't find any sexual interest in women. None at all.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Nope. I'm never going to pretend to be Bi in order to get my hands on her husband.

I am confident in my sexual preferences and am happy to test my boundaries and imagine sexually touching a female and as always it just doesn't arouse me. If in the future that ever changed then I would happily be labelled on here as bisexual. Until that day straight is who I am

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By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Nope. I'm never going to pretend to be Bi in order to get my hands on her husband.

That's the thing, I suppose. Is it pretending or is it just giving it a go - don't-know-till-you try kind of thing? Then find you quite like it like one of the posters above.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We wouldn't do anything that we aren't happy with just to achieve a goal, sexual or otherwise. We wouldn't be being honest with ourselves let alone anyone else.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It made me question though if anyone who previously considered themselves straight had decided to experiment with the same sex as a way of getting it on with the object of their (heterosexual) desire.

Nope. I experimented because I wanted to.

And since then I've never felt the need to claim to be straight to meet someone not into bi guys either.

But I'm sure it happens both ways on Fab all the time......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No but we have had women say they play straight in order to meet us and hopefully persuade me to experiment

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Nope. I'm never going to pretend to be Bi in order to get my hands on her husband.

That's the thing, I suppose. Is it pretending or is it just giving it a go - don't-know-till-you try kind of thing? Then find you quite like it like one of the posters above. "

Pretending....

It's my Choices. For example I choose not to be shat on because I don't like it. I'm not going to let some one do it to me because I might change my mind...

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

No, I'm just not into women sexually so I'm never gonna fulfil some lusty guys dream of a 3some with 2 women

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By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

To be clear, I'm not talking about deceiving other people per se but I am questioning if sexuality itself is a self-deception.

Like other posters have said, I feel no sexual inclination towards my own gender but is that because the heteronormative world we currently occupy has done such a number on me? If I lived in Ancient Greece, the idea of limiting myself to one gender or other would seem absurd.

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By *uffsandCropsCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I wonder, if you're asking, is there an element of doubt in your mind?

I guess I'm coming from the angle of - If you were dead set against it, would you still be wondering or would it just have been a no and carry on?

There's another good point some have made. Why compromise your own sexuality to please others?

If I wanted a bisexual male to join in (or female), I'd hope to god he wasn't just going along with it. Where's the fun in that?

Her xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, absolutely no interest in any sexual activity with another man in any way, certainly wouldn't deviate just to get it on with someone.

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By *uffsandCropsCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"To be clear, I'm not talking about deceiving other people per se but I am questioning if sexuality itself is a self-deception.

Isn't it just a case of genuinely how you feel?

Maybe they also just went along with it as it was the 'done' thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had never played with a woman before I joined fab a couple of years ago aged 50 but next thing I know I'm in a tangled mff threesome giving the husband and wife an orgasm at same time..I loved it but don't play with females alone.

I seem to come alive when joining a couple.I do like watching bi males together but certainly wouldn't trick anyone into it.

Its a choice you make at the time and if you like it..do it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s be honest, it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve seen people willing to do on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope straight as a die if it means I'll never get a meet so be it but each to there own I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be clear, I'm not talking about deceiving other people per se but I am questioning if sexuality itself is a self-deception.

I guess it depends if you have given any thought to alternative sexual scenarios? I have given quite a lot of thought to them. Because I am kinky and interested in experimenting - it was natural to consider if I was as straight as I thought I was. I don't want to give it a try - because I've given it due consideration ...and nope. Not interested.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

No it's cemented for me that I'm straight .I'd never pretend to be something I'm not to interest another person .I can see the beauty of other woman ,but would never play with one or pretend to for a man .

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

I've never been in that situation but I would say I'm bi, but I don't fancy guys nor will I ever fancy a guy but I do like cock. If I could self suck I would but I can't. I cant even fuck myself and as I can't find a female with a strapon to play with then I go for the next best thing. Although I do prefer a real cock to a silicone one.

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By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I wonder, if you're asking, is there an element of doubt in your mind?

I guess I'm coming from the angle of - If you were dead set against it, would you still be wondering or would it just have been a no and carry on?

There's another good point some have made. Why compromise your own sexuality to please others?

If I wanted a bisexual male to join in (or female), I'd hope to god he wasn't just going along with it. Where's the fun in that?

Her xx "

Perhaps part of the issue is that, as a straight, single male on Fab, you're always conscious of missing out on opportunities that are available to single females, couples bi males etc. so I think I'm just wondering if there's a better time to be had if you have the kind of mindset where you don't set hard limits.

Although, that implies that sexuality is self-imposed rather than innate so now I'm just confusing myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I lie about my sexuality and sometimes this has lead to sex. No I'm not straight.

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By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Yes I lie about my sexuality and sometimes this has lead to sex. No I'm not straight."

Is this a warning or a recommendation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/04/22 15:19:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I lie about my sexuality and sometimes this has lead to sex. No I'm not straight.

Is this a warning or a recommendation?

Neither.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no interest in guys at all I'm straight and when I play in a mfm which is 99% of my play all my attention is on the lady

I have played with bi couples but they have always respected my boundaries.

There is no need to say your bi just to get action ...there are plenty of couples who want to play with straight guys be them bi or straight themselves

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By *uffsandCropsCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"I wonder, if you're asking, is there an element of doubt in your mind?

I guess I'm coming from the angle of - If you were dead set against it, would you still be wondering or would it just have been a no and carry on?

There's another good point some have made. Why compromise your own sexuality to please others?

If I wanted a bisexual male to join in (or female), I'd hope to god he wasn't just going along with it. Where's the fun in that?

Her xx

Although, that implies that sexuality is self-imposed rather than innate so now I'm just confusing myself

It does

But isn't that your true feelings anyway?

Just be yourself xx

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I wouldn’t do something I didn’t want to sexually to please someone else. I’m bi but I won’t meet couples. One to one bi or with my own FWB as a couple.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

If my time on the scene has taught me anything it is that most people are fluid to some extent. It's not so much a simple case of straight/gay/bi, there's many shades in between. I think a lot of people who would chiefly describe themself as straight tend to be more straightish (especially in terms of sex rather than relationships). Personally I love to see people just having the freedom to enjoy what they enjoy without judgment. Now on the scene I never assume another guy is straight. So knowing this doesn't surprise me that despite your straight status you were approached. I often have to tell people they're barking up the wrong tree with me.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Am not attracted to women at all! Can appreciate a woman's body though! And had a ffm once just because I could! Didn't open up a whole new desire for me x

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By *iaisonseeker OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"If my time on the scene has taught me anything it is that most people are fluid to some extent. It's not so much a simple case of straight/gay/bi, there's many shades in between. I think a lot of people who would chiefly describe themself as straight tend to be more straightish (especially in terms of sex rather than relationships). Personally I love to see people just having the freedom to enjoy what they enjoy without judgment. Now on the scene I never assume another guy is straight. So knowing this doesn't surprise me that despite your straight status you were approached. I often have to tell people they're barking up the wrong tree with me."

The point about greater fluidity for sex than relationships is an interesting one. I said above that I have no sexual inclination towards men but, thinking about it, I probably mean that I have no romantic intentions towards men across the whole spectrum from snogging to partnering.

On the other hand, if I was really turned on in a very sensual, group setting and a man offered to nosh me off, would I say no?

I think so but would my libido take the decision for me?

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

...I've never heard 'pansexual' and 'bliss' together OP, crikey!

Cool thread though, good questions

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

No because I'm in control of my sexuality and my libido and not the other way around.

I don't have the slightest interest in other men and while I respect other people's choices and preferences I also like to think that they would do likewise with mine.

Not wishing to explore a non existent bi side is exactly as it says on the tin but yet it has been said on here before that men who aren't willing to explore are denying their true selves or are afraid to be open and honest which is a load of manure.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I would say I’m straight but I’m of the thinking never say never, if in the right situation and I found a woman sexually attractive then yes im open to it but im not looking for it

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Fluid as in things I have thought about I do when it feels right, naturally & not forced. I would never do something I wouldn’t want to do, just to please another person.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

On the other hand, if I was really turned on in a very sensual, group setting and a man offered to nosh me off, would I say no?

I think so but would my libido take the decision for me?"

Isn't that how it should be, freedom without fear of Judgement is something takes your fancy? And of course what you fancy can also be fluid in terms of time and circumstance. After all this is a playground. Sadly men are still oppressed by stigma regarding same sex sexuality (all be it a prison of the male worlds creation). That why we have bi nights, which let's face it are bi guy nights as every night on the scene is bi Girl night. Men need a space where its ok to be free. Ironically after all ive said men and/or the concept of man on man does absolutely nothing for me. But it's always nice to know my non activity with me is due to my natural sexuality rather than missing out because I'm self oppressed or oppressed by the environment around me. I just hope to live in a world where we can all express our weird and wonderful combinations of sexuality and kinks. I think it would be cool if labels of sexuality were less prominent and/or assumed. A world where we just concensaully fuck who we fancy and how we fancy.

What we desire in the bed and be different to what we desire relationship wise. Or sexual desire is wide, varied and a place to explore in another world. For example in our sexaul desire we may fancy a complete tyrant, but we may not want that as life partner. Or we may want sex with the same sex but not want a same sex relationship. My partner enjoys playing with women, chatting them up and is attracted to them. Yet she'd never entertain a romantic relationship with a woman.

And I guess going back to the question the sheer volume of officially straight not so straight men leads people to chance putting it out there with straight men I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was “straight” until i met a couple from fab years ago

After we had had fun, his gf asked if i woukd share his cock

As i was still mega horny, i did

Never ever regretted it

I don't know if I'd react the same way but I can see how that might happen in a highly sexually charged scenario. "

You can be straight and still be bi playful, sexual fun doesnt change you.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm straight but have dabbled a bit with women. I'm definitely not bisexual though. I don't know what I am

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Received a reply from a woman

She wondered if I played with guys

If so, did you regret it? Or has it sent you down a path of pansexual bliss?"

It might have been a guy trying it on ...

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I am straight. I have no interest in women sexually.

Been the same all my life

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I am straight. I appreciate the beauty of the female form (photography wise) but it takes a man to arouse me.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Ladies only for me

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