FabSwingers.com forum: Guys who can't take no for an answer...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can only say guys because that's all the experience I've had and I'm aware it isn't all guys but jeeze some guys just can't take no for an answer... It's quite worrying when they can't even respect a no in a message.

I see alot on the forums, on profiles and also in messages 'if you're not interested just say' or it's ignorant to just delete and/or block but when you tell someone you're not interested because they are too far away etc they try and convince you otherwise or throw a barrage of insults at you.

If someone's made the effort to sent a decent message sometimes I like to at least tell them no politely rather than delete and block.

Good Friday my arse lol.

Rant over

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly "single" men out number women and couples up to 100 - 1 on Fab in many locations in the UK.

A significant number of these men are "incel" and don't possess the personality, character, social skills and human decency to succeed in meeting women. Instead of looking inwards and trying to make positive changes they project their failures and shortcomings on to the people who have tried reject their advances politely.

Thankfully there are some really great genuinely "single" guys who are true gentlemen and an absolute credit to the swinging scene on fab. You just have to learn how to be able to find then amongst all the crap.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once you’ve said no to them, block them.

End of problem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Can confirm women and couples can be equally bad but it’s less seen due to the numbers

Couple messaged me last week for a meet and I wasn’t interest, blocked the profile and both the Male and the female half jumped on their singles profile to hurl some abuse at me.

As they say, hell hath no fury like a woman (or couple) scorned

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them "

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I just assume no is the answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sadly "single" men out number women and couples up to 100 - 1 on Fab in many locations in the UK.

KJ"

Yeah I've met some absolutely diamonds too. Unfortunately I've had a couple of the bad experiences in quick succession and it annoyed me. I need a coffee before I check my messages in future lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can confirm women and couples can be equally bad but it’s less seen due to the numbers

Couple messaged me last week for a meet and I wasn’t interest, blocked the profile and both the Male and the female half jumped on their singles profile to hurl some abuse at me.

As they say, hell hath no fury like a woman (or couple) scorned "

I don't doubt women and couples do it too. Just no need.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Indeed, and what about all those gals who can't take no for an answer too? Troubles me immensely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Unfortunately there are a lot of people on here who, personality wise, probably shouldn't be. As previously stated, someone who struggles with rejection in the virtual sphere may also take it badly in real life. And there are descriptive words for people try to cajole and bully someone into sex..

One failing in this site is that if someone finds you once, they can find you with multiple profiles, although there are filters to mitigate interactions.

I really feel for people who are subjected to this kind of abuse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? "

This is what I always think too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Happy to be ignorant over dealing with that shite.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? "

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person? "

Yes it is very worrying. I’ve just dealt with one who wouldn’t leave me allow after I said a polite no thank you and had another account set up to continue harassing me on. Block features does not work and fabswingers should be doing more like blocking users IP.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can only say guys because that's all the experience I've had and I'm aware it isn't all guys but jeeze some guys just can't take no for an answer... It's quite worrying when they can't even respect a no in a message.

If someone's made the effort to sent a decent message sometimes I like to at least tell them no politely rather than delete and block.

Good Friday my arse lol.

Rant over

It is a massive pain in the ass I agree.

I block now if I think a guy is too eager.I rather the laid back approach.Its way sexier.x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Happy to be ignorant over dealing with that shite. "

Seconded ^^^

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

Those are my thoughts too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

Those are my thoughts too"

Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

Have you tried blocking unverified profiles and newbies on the filters page? It should make it a bit trickier for them. Although I'm not sure how Fab defines "newbie"

I agree IP blocking would work better, although if someone is *really* persistent they can use multiple devices.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's one of the main reasons some people don't reply to messages. Too much hassle. I don't worry about it though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

For me, it’s the realisation of the amount of men that struggle to take no for an answer.

It scares me, a lot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had a few close calls where a seemingly nice guy has turned very nasty when you can’t drop everything for an immediate meet after chatting for a whole 5 mins. It’s always a “thank god I didn’t meet him!” moment. Worrying to think that the next lady he comes in contact with might! "

A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.

Better to find out before meeting him in person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.

Better to find out before meeting him in person.

Great idea but sad that it’s necessary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.

Better to find out before meeting him in person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

Those are my thoughts too

Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?"

It is worrying for the person, yes. And it’s potentially scary. BUT, I can’t control that, so I don’t worry about it. That’s not saying I don’t care though. I can only worry about my controllables, not someone else’s

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

To be honest it doesn't worry me. It amuses me how they think by turning nasty is going to do them any favours. I couldn't care less what a complete stranger online thinks of me, especially someone I've said no too. It just proves that I was right in refusing to meet x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

This isn’t a ‘Brownie Points’ comment as much as it may look like one, but I’m sorry you all have to deal with blokes being dickheads in such a manner.

I’m far from perfect in many other respects, but I understand ‘No’ and I can’t fathom why anyone couldn’t.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"This isn’t a ‘Brownie Points’ comment as much as it may look like one, but I’m sorry you all have to deal with blokes being dickheads in such a manner.

I’m far from perfect in many other respects, but I understand ‘No’ and I can’t fathom why anyone couldn’t."

I’m giving you all my brownie points!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman on here once said she deliberately says "no" about something to see how the man reacts.

Better to find out before meeting him in person.

Yes if I am chatting to someone for a while, I will test them. I've had too many "dominant" men get aggressive on me so I push the boundary to see their reaction.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 15/04/22 09:03:40]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Once you’ve said no to them, block them.

End of problem. "

This. There is absolutely no arguing with them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"This isn’t a ‘Brownie Points’ comment as much as it may look like one, but I’m sorry you all have to deal with blokes being dickheads in such a manner.

I’m far from perfect in many other respects, but I understand ‘No’ and I can’t fathom why anyone couldn’t.

I’m giving you all my brownie points!

Awww, thanking you kindly! Do Brownie Points make prizes……?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait, what?

People say no here?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The internet gives reach to people that normally wouldn't have that.

It allows people to act in a way they normally wouldn't, because the consequences are far less (usually) and almost anonymous.

It's frustrating that people choose to act this way, but don't allow their actions to ruin your day or experience here.

They have to live with themselves with their attitude.

I imagine they often find things very difficult for them and without realising they are likely the root of their own problems.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

I ignore and if they keep coming back I block

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.

I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.

I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

Those are my thoughts too

Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?"

I'm giving the benefit of the doubt.. I don't think it necessarily follows that persistent chancers online are potential forceful monsters in real life

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.

I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.

I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life."

It’s frightening to think what he would be like in person/real life if you said no to him, if he is outraged online and acts like that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

But you won’t be meeting them, so you’re worrying over nothing aren’t you?

Those are my thoughts too

Or worrying for the people that person meets and interacts with offline? It is a bit scary no? Or is it like, not my problem so I don’t care?

I'm giving the benefit of the doubt.. I don't think it necessarily follows that persistent chancers online are potential forceful monsters in real life "

This ^ more than likely brave behind their keyboard but in person, the quiet mouse in the corner. Someone’s online presence is not a true reflection of them in person, in my opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.

I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.

I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life.

It’s frightening to think what he would be like in person/real life if you said no to him, if he is outraged online and acts like that

This is very true and it shows me I made the right call saying no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

If someone's made the effort to sent a decent message sometimes I like to at least tell them no politely rather than delete and block.

Good Friday my arse lol.

Rant over

Have noticed an increase in people like this lately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

If someone says no, or just deletes, what's the point of getting arsey about it? Life's too short. I always say thank you if I get refused, it's no biggie. Life's too short

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"For the reasons you've mentioned op,if I reply with a no thanks ,I now block too.

I said no thanks to a man a while back and he seemed so outraged ,the well why nots started immediately.

I figure if they can't be respectful here,they definitely wouldn't be in real life.

It’s frightening to think what he would be like in person/real life if you said no to him, if he is outraged online and acts like that

At least they show their character early. I've heard horror stories from ex fabbers who found out too late. One lady friend was locked in a hotel room and sexually assaulted because the guy wouldn't take no for an answer.

Absolutely horrific. Obviously the guy went UNLOS as he kicked her out.

Ladies here are right to be cautious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Is it really worrying though?

Just ignore or block them

Yes it is. If someone can't take no for an answer on line do you think they can in person?

Have you tried blocking unverified profiles and newbies on the filters page? It should make it a bit trickier for them. Although I'm not sure how Fab defines "newbie"

I agree IP blocking would work better, although if someone is *really* persistent they can use multiple devices. "

IP blocking isn't the answer. The site already uses IP addresses for certain aspects (preventing you from verifying someone else via the same IP address for example to stop fake verifications) but most devices these days use dynamic IP addresses as they're better for security. Add the number of people who use VPN's and IP blocking becomes even more tricky.

As much of a pain in the arse that people can be online, if that's the only contact you've had then just block. And if it happens again? Block again. Don't engage in conversation, don't reply and report any abuse.

Muppets generally give up if they don't get a reaction, so don't give them one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I don't know what I do differently, but in many years of being on here I can count the number of abusive messages that I've received on one hand...and will even admit that a couple of those were at least partially invited after sending extremely sarcastic replies to their initial ridiculous message. Either way, I couldn't give a monkey's bollocks for the opinion of a stranger on the Internet.

Grown men having a tantrum because I don't want to bounce on their penis will never fail to amuse me though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread