FabSwingers.com forum: Tell us you are a parent without telling us you are a parent

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m up at 6:30am every morning.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I spend stupid money on roblox

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Bleeding grandkids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I spend stupid money on roblox "

I feel your pain.

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

I spend all my spare cash on another person & am happy to do so

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I'm skint and I have been for many years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Apple Music account is the main reason “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” went to number one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have pockets full of interesting looking stones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have pockets full of interesting looking stones. "

Ooops wrong thread

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

I give all my spare money to the Nintendo corporation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No charge for hard work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't slept properly for 13 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bank account seems to pay for more than its share of car insurance and pizzas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Picking stuff up all day long

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

Toothpaste tube always squeezed in the middle and squirted everywhere

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By *uffsandCropsCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I do everyone else's washing up and washing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when the wifi plays up and the shouting starts...

(Miss)

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By *evils PuddingCouple
over a year ago

the pub or in the nude in Paisley

I've picked someone else's nose many times

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By *illie99TV/TS
over a year ago

Central Scotland

What you doing today then?

Huhh Uuudonnknow hmmmph!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no time to date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is a hot cup of tea??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can recite almost every episode of Paw Patrol.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Arrgghhh my foot. Damn Lego!

Actually, that's usually my Lego

You have GCSE's soon, get revising!

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By *evils PuddingCouple
over a year ago

the pub or in the nude in Paisley

"What is a hot cup of tea?? "

The one in the cup that's been on the radiator for the last 3 hours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ouch. fucking piece of lego

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

I seem to spend more time in school now then when I was at school......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am constantly absolutely exhausted

I know every character from Paw Patrol

I have no money

My bag is full of snacks, wipes and toys

I have no freedom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do 2 loads of washing a day

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'm ordering a prom dress tonight.

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By *issEmmWoman
over a year ago

Bournemouth

I don’t pee alone

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By *exy-bbw1981Woman
over a year ago

hackney

Spends loads of money on roblox gta and bloody fortnite

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By *exy-bbw1981Woman
over a year ago

hackney

"I don’t pee alone "
yep know that one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t pee alone "

Yup, I get that too.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I spend stupid money on roblox "

This.......

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"I do 2 loads of washing a day"

That to!

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I've gone away for a few days and feel guilty about it

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

Sometimes I may as well just be talking to myself!

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

My life revolves around laundry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t remember the last time I had a plate of food to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take your finger, touch your nose. Blink 3 times and off it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nursery costs the same as rent in London.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

My bank is empty

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I will never breed thank you very much!

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I don’t get called by my name

Getting shouted for is never a good sign

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will never breed again thank you very much!"

FIFY

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

"I'm skint and I have been for many years. "
this hehe.

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I’m an unpaid taxi driver

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've been peed and shat on enough times to know I'm never having more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fooking lego

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Dirty socks on the floor. Skid marks down the toilet. I talk to myself a lot too, as nobody else listens.

Katie.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Calpol is your go to medicine

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I hate kids

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I can remember the days when sex happened and I wasn't pulling back hard on a head board to keep the silence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dirty socks on the floor. Skid marks down the toilet. I talk to myself a lot too, as nobody else listens.

Katie."

That's just marriage.

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By *hubby CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Stretch marks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spends loads of money on roblox gta and bloody fortnite "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Can I have more screen time’

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I lay awake at night, worrying.

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By *r loveslickinMan
over a year ago

Deeside

I have a person in my life who will always come first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know all the words and dance moves to High school musical 1 2 and 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live on coffee and wine

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I share my bed with 2 or 3 others… and not in a fun way

J x

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I've gotten used to eating lukewarm (if I'm lucky) food and drinks

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Soon I won't have to buy happy meals.

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By *moothdick68Man
over a year ago

Worcester

I'm a personal cook, cleaner, chauffeur & life coach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies "

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

My handbag is full of others crap!

I spend my life picking up others stuff, putting it away, cooking and cleaning.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"I know all the words and dance moves to High school musical 1 2 and 3"

Me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lights on all over the house no one home

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I have to wipe down the toilet seat before I can sit on it.

My washing machine is on almost constantly.

New shoes are required every two months. And not for me.

Food bill is extortionate!

Gah, pass me the wine!

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By *l6789Man
over a year ago

croydon

This morning I stepped on Lego in the bathroom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My clothes always have hair on them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been dangerously tired for a decade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is nothing to eat, mum!!!"

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Our house looks like Toys Are Us had anal with Smyths

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"This morning I stepped on Lego in the bathroom "

There’s sometimes strange men in my bathroom ,,and they definitely aren’t mine

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

Disney+ has Bluey ;P

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

My little one likes the hospital episode the most. I’ve never had so many needles in my life, nor x-rays

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By *exy-bbw1981Woman
over a year ago

hackney

""There is nothing to eat, mum!!!""
always even tho the kitchen is full of food lol

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

The crisps box on top of the tall kitchen cupboard empties itself.

The juice jug in the fridge door always has a centimetre left in the bottom so the last person didn't empty it & therefore had to refill it.

Empty cardboard tubes on the loo roll holders.

Kitchen bin full to overflowing

Trail of cracker crumbs all the way up the stairs when I get home.

New tube of toothpaste started when I know I can get at least another 3 or 4 squeezes out of it.

The list goes on....fuck me I'm tired.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

Disney+ has Bluey ;P

Well I’ll be watching ahead when she’s asleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Starting to go grey with worry!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

My little one likes the hospital episode the most. I’ve never had so many needles in my life, nor x-rays

Omg LOVE that episode. Also the Taxi one. My favourite is the one where Bluey meets the french guy though.

Bought my little one a Bluey toy and she literally is obsessed with it. So cute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s for tea !

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

My little one likes the hospital episode the most. I’ve never had so many needles in my life, nor x-rays

Omg LOVE that episode. Also the Taxi one. My favourite is the one where Bluey meets the french guy though.

Bought my little one a Bluey toy and she literally is obsessed with it. So cute. "

Snap! Cost a pretty penny to get it shipped from Oz before they released the merchandise here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm good at hide and seek cos I'm the only one who can find anything in our house

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Mum

Muuuuuum

Mum can I have

Mum can you do

Mum can I lend

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's made me laugh that.

Fortnite is the drain on my wallet haha

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I have random stones located around the house and one in my coat jacket.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"That's made me laugh that.

Fortnite is the drain on my wallet haha"

Roblox here

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By *021leedscoupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

We have a third in our bed every night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I own my own house yet have zero privacy..

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

We have our life back

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

"Maybe, we will see."

(I'm not saying outright no to you as i dont want the fallout from it but its a no really.)

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

V Bucks

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By *ood Girl KatWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Always carrying a pack of wipes when out and about.

Even if I don't have kiddo with me

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By *for2Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Am an on call unpaid taxi service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Financially fucked .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They said I had to scroll really far to chose my year of birth, but I still feed them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not a parent im a zoo keeper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"V Bucks

Or is it Ro bucks... Its all so confusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heyyyyyyyy Duggee!

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By *hett and scarlettCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Much prefer the original Blippi. The new guy can sign, sure, but he just ain’t the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Maybe, we will see."

(I'm not saying outright no to you as i dont want the fallout from it but its a no really.)"

Mine are onto me now. Damn it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can only meet between 9 and 2 on weekdays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK bra

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

I’m with you there K!

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
over a year ago

Epsom

Bluey..your welcome

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

Noooooooo K. Every single person on this list would tell you how absolutely amazing their kids are - and that they couldn’t imagine their lives without them - honest!!

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

"I spend stupid money on roblox "

It's ok its been down most this evening. So little person told me

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

But …… in my case …… just the slightest glance at me nekid would tell you I’m a mum - from the jelly belly to the baggy boobies.

Thank god for Spanx and underwired bras!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

Noooooooo K. Every single person on this list would tell you how absolutely amazing their kids are - and that they couldn’t imagine their lives without them - honest!!

Nah I’m with LVM.. child free is the way to go if you value freedom & your sex life (caveat I love mine to the ends of the earth but…)

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

I used to have hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But …… in my case …… just the slightest glance at me nekid would tell you I’m a mum - from the jelly belly to the baggy boobies.

Thank god for Spanx and underwired bras!

Get away with you, you look great!

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

I’m with you there K!

honestly my kids are my only achievement, yes they can and have been utter knobs but that's only a tiny percentage of the time. You can never so awe-inspired as having created a tiny person.. Yes it's pretty shity at time but the good outways the bad bits a million times over and then again.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

Noooooooo K. Every single person on this list would tell you how absolutely amazing their kids are - and that they couldn’t imagine their lives without them - honest!!

Being serious for a moment, I sometimes don't know how to feel about the fact our daughter was born. Anyone who knows why I use a wheelchair will possibly understand a bit. But any such thoughts make me feel incredibly guilty so I suppress the fuck out of them

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

Noooooooo K. Every single person on this list would tell you how absolutely amazing their kids are - and that they couldn’t imagine their lives without them - honest!!

LvM

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Thank you, this thread has fulfilled its contraceptive purpose

Noooooooo K. Every single person on this list would tell you how absolutely amazing their kids are - and that they couldn’t imagine their lives without them - honest!!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Thank you Lorenzo and Posh

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I do more miles than a minicab driver, but don't even get the petrol money.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"I do more miles than a minicab driver, but don't even get the petrol money."
That's so true

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

There's never any food in the house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heyyyyyyyy Duggee!"

Tag! Isn’t it time for…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd happily pay my entire license fee just for Cbeebies

Just for Bluey. I love Bluey. I mean my daughter loves Bluey.

My little one likes the hospital episode the most. I’ve never had so many needles in my life, nor x-rays

Omg LOVE that episode. Also the Taxi one. My favourite is the one where Bluey meets the french guy though.

Bought my little one a Bluey toy and she literally is obsessed with it. So cute.

Snap! Cost a pretty penny to get it shipped from Oz before they released the merchandise here. "

That’s commitment. I love that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wake up by force not by choice

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By *ornyguyMan
over a year ago

Hillsborough, NI

"I spend stupid money on roblox "

haha, so true I also get roped into playing it

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By *ornyguyMan
over a year ago

Hillsborough, NI

I'm sick of hearing youtubers where it seems it's mandatory for them to scream and shout at loud volumes.

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By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

I’m tired..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When did anyone last have a day to just themselves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Televisions was expensive back in the day

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I’ve spent 27 years in a state of worry and anxiety..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Normal household objects are now weapons of mass destruction.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I've moved on from collecting empty toilet rolls tubes and cereal packets for creative play days, to finding them left on the bathroom floor and in the cupboard, while wishing we were on a play date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No free time and a pile of sticks by the front door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only meet at very specific times of the week.

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

My days are filled with joy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can only meet at very specific times of the week.

Haha. I was going to say ‘can’t accommodate ‘

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By *ixenforfunWoman
over a year ago

banes mask

I know the theme tune to spongebob, paw patrol and my little pony. I am also well versed in frozen and frozen 2. Nearly word for word in fact.

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By *ornyjaycomesbackMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I do 2 loads of washing a day"

Just the 2? Lucky sod

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know the theme tune to spongebob, paw patrol and my little pony. I am also well versed in frozen and frozen 2. Nearly word for word in fact. "

I remember spongebob and teletubbies from when I was a kid myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to hate anyone but I low-key hate JJ on cocomelon

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By *iBBW and hubbyCouple
over a year ago

oxford

The sound of mind numbing tik tok videoes wherever I go in the house

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