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Long term swinging and infidelity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After a number of years of swinging, does it become an addiction that is very difficult to shake off?

Once you take up in a vanilla relationship, do you seem to always find yourself out of habit, being drawn back to sites such as Fabs or even online dating sites looking for casual kinky encounters?

Do we get addicted to the thrill or risk or is it due to there being something we are missing when being in a “regular” and something routine vanilla relationship?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I briefly went back to monogamy and stayed monogamous to him for a year only for him to cheat on me. Never again.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

[Removed by poster at 13/04/22 13:03:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a Swinger always a Swinger. Not their fault they cheat. It's in their pores.

Bit odd to get into a vanilla boring sex relationship. Pay half the bills but carry on fucking around woohooooo!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

If the relationship was right and working for us both and he wasn't interested in the lifestyle then I could easily leave it all behind x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask my ex.. he could give you a very thorough list of excuses and reasons and justifications or explanations.

Px

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's definitely not an addiction, I'd happily be monogamous if that's what we mutually agreed to as a couple.

I'm emotionally monogamous anyway, I couldn't ever have feelings for more than one person at a time. I view swinging encounters as purely physical pleasure, they're in a completely different mental box to my relationship...a fun activity, but not something that I couldn't do without.

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London

There’s some who are in swinging relationships and still even cheat on their partners! Imagine, your partner is open to the idea of you being intimate with people outside of the relationship and it’s still not enough the mind boggles….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn’t say it was addiction for me

I am single and just have fun if the right person came in to my life yes I could give it up

Also think it’s better if someone been in the life or had lots off “fun” though out they life before we meet

As it means less desers to do things my sexual bucket list is ticked I can take or leave them there isn’t that burning desser to go out and chase them

If say in a closed realship

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Vanilla ... ...(shudders)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you’re non monogamous then you’ll probably always find strain in trying to be in a monogamous relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"After a number of years of swinging, does it become an addiction that is very difficult to shake off?

Once you take up in a vanilla relationship, do you seem to always find yourself out of habit, being drawn back to sites such as Fabs or even online dating sites looking for casual kinky encounters?

Do we get addicted to the thrill or risk or is it due to there being something we are missing when being in a “regular” and something routine vanilla relationship? "

For me the answer to all the above is "no".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ask my ex.. he could give you a very thorough list of excuses and reasons and justifications or explanations.

Px"

Maybe you forgot the several times it was done to him?

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By *etWetWet453Couple
over a year ago

CAMBERLEY

Once you`ve gone over to the Dark Side, there`s no going back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything is so overcomplicated here.

If you’re with somebody you like what are you missing?

Sex with people you don’t like?

Watching other people having sex with somebody you do like?

People say “lifestyle” like it’s a profession.

It’s just adults, doing adult stuff, like normal consenting adults.

I mean granted, it’s not all normal but Jesus Christ.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everything is so overcomplicated here.

If you’re with somebody you like what are you missing?

Sex with people you don’t like?

Watching other people having sex with somebody you do like?

People say “lifestyle” like it’s a profession.

It’s just adults, doing adult stuff, like normal consenting adults.

I mean granted, it’s not all normal but Jesus Christ."

Ffs Jonny just fuck the other woman in front of me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everything is so overcomplicated here.

If you’re with somebody you like what are you missing?

Sex with people you don’t like?

Watching other people having sex with somebody you do like?

People say “lifestyle” like it’s a profession.

It’s just adults, doing adult stuff, like normal consenting adults.

I mean granted, it’s not all normal but Jesus Christ.

Ffs Jonny just fuck the other woman in front of me!!!

"

Stop whoring me out!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't and won't be monogamous anymore! Xx

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

If I was in a loving relationship I'd give swinging side up

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I don’t know where the mentality of having to give up something you enjoy when you meet someone in the non fab world comes from?

The problem isn’t swinging the problem is humans forget how to communicate, they forget that enjoying sex isn’t shameful and they forget even just momentarily who they are when they start to fall for someone - the more they fall and don’t discuss things that’s when the cracks appear and that urge to satisfy the suppressed side of you comes in.

If you meet someone you truly like tell them about you, don’t miss out the parts your scared they’ll judge you on, if they like you it either won’t matter or perhaps there will be intrigue and they’ll want to come along for the ride - if it’s not for them then YOU decide whether you need it or there worth more - that’s it in a nutshell for me xx

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

The joy of swinging is there's no need to cheat and no need for jealousy, which is a destructive emotion. Either stick with swinging or leave...there's no half way house.

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales

If one of us decided we didn’t want to do it anymore then we wouldn’t do it anymore, our relationship is the most important thing. We can still talk about fantasies.

If I was single and looking to go into a new relationship I’d have to know they at least had an interest in sex other than vanilla, wouldn’t have to be swapping but at least talking about it during sex or I would end up very frustrated however much you love someone.

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales


"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics "

What power dynamics?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I don’t know where the mentality of having to give up something you enjoy when you meet someone in the non fab world comes from?

The problem isn’t swinging the problem is humans forget how to communicate, they forget that enjoying sex isn’t shameful and they forget even just momentarily who they are when they start to fall for someone - the more they fall and don’t discuss things that’s when the cracks appear and that urge to satisfy the suppressed side of you comes in.

If you meet someone you truly like tell them about you, don’t miss out the parts your scared they’ll judge you on, if they like you it either won’t matter or perhaps there will be intrigue and they’ll want to come along for the ride - if it’s not for them then YOU decide whether you need it or there worth more - that’s it in a nutshell for me xx"

This!

It's not that I can't be monogamous, I just don't want to be. I want to date people on the same wavelength as me who enjoy the same things as me and that includes going to swingers clubs and kink events and having wild, sexy adventures together .

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics

What power dynamics? "

Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales


"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics

What power dynamics?

Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you "

No worries, I really wasn’t being arsey just interested

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics

What power dynamics?

Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you

No worries, I really wasn’t being arsey just interested "

Well in short, I think a lot of swinging relationships go sour because the women is spoilt for choice and the man isn’t

They get into it thinking it’ll be all sweet. Then the guy has to watch the 50th bloke shag his misses and there’s not a MFF in sight.

Obviously doesn’t apply to everyone. But I think it’s a strong power dynamic many don’t consider and it can breed a lot of jealousy if both people aren’t mature enough

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales


"I’d say swinging makes infidelity/jealousy more likely in a relationship due to the power dynamics

What power dynamics?

Judging by your comment above I don’t believe it applies to you

No worries, I really wasn’t being arsey just interested

Well in short, I think a lot of swinging relationships go sour because the women is spoilt for choice and the man isn’t

They get into it thinking it’ll be all sweet. Then the guy has to watch the 50th bloke shag his misses and there’s not a MFF in sight.

Obviously doesn’t apply to everyone. But I think it’s a strong power dynamic many don’t consider and it can breed a lot of jealousy if both people aren’t mature enough "

Oh I can see why you wrote that then, I can’t say I’ve seen that happen at all but that’s not to say you are wrong, just that we haven’t known about it

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