FabSwingers.com forum: Forgive and forget

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

A stab in the back and loss of trust I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have the ability to forgive but I don't think we ever forget. In life people screw you other, whether it's malicious or not. It's up to us to choose which people are worth moving forward and which are cut loose. If it's that bad, there's no place for forgiveness in my eyes.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Always forgive. Never forget.

I have no room for negativity and bitterness so forgiveness is my way of moving on from the event.

However.... I hold grudges and tend to cut ties in all ways with anyone who has tried to damage me instantly, never to return.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Exactly as others have said, I forgive but don't forget. "Once bitten, twice shy" and all that...

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Any deliberate breach of trust or friendship

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I could never forgive a murderer x

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Yes intentional physical or emotional cruelty to anyone, and that includes animals, would be very hard to forgive, I am sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking the last cup of coffee from the cafetière.

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By *J GeminiTV/TS
over a year ago

Northumberland

Nothing's forgotten, nothing's ever forgotten!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Murder. You can’t take that back can you?

But other stuff, yeah I can forgive most things, we are human and it would be arrogant to assume I am better than them to hold them to judgement forever.

I forgive but don’t forget? So did you ever forgive them them?

or do you like to keep it in a drawer to pull it out and remind them(or remind yourself) when it suits.

Forgiveness for me is easy when I like the person though? So, there’s that.

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Taking the last cup of coffee from the cafetière."

What if they left little 'sorry' note and 20 quid for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuinely I think all can be forgiven. I think whether I actually forgave someone would probably be down to how remorseful they were and how much of a change they made or were willing to make.

Don’t think all things are, or can always be, forgotten.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone hurt somebody I love I wouldn't forgive them and I certainly wouldn't forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Taking the last cup of coffee from the cafetière.

What if they left little 'sorry' note and 20 quid for it

It’s too late.

The damage is done.

You make fresh or you discuss before hand with your coffee partner.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"

I can forgive I never forget and while I wouldn’t bear any malice or desire for revenge I would treat someone who wronged me very differently in future. Protecting myself.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Have I forgiven my husband for getting d*unk with his workmates and standing me up on our date all those years ago? Of course I have, I still married the twit. Have I forgotten? Now where would be the fun in that?

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Taking the last cup of coffee from the cafetière.

What if they left little 'sorry' note and 20 quid for it

It’s too late.

The damage is done.

You make fresh or you discuss before hand with your coffee partner.

Oh dear, this suddenly feels very real and it must still hurt. Sorry to have awaken up those strong emotions

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can let things go, forgive if you like, but I never forget. Once a trust has been broken a relationship, any relationship, is never the same.

Forgiving is about the forgiver and how they feel.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them."

Agree!

I’m not really a very forgiving person. But also, I’m not bitter. I just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/04/22 07:51:20]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them.

Agree!

I’m not really a very forgiving person. But also, I’m not bitter. I just move on. "

Me too. I tend to acknowledge it happened and then get on with my life. I don't really forgive myself either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them."

This is true. Although I think if someone *wants* to forgive then they can forgive anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always forgive, to fail to do so means you carry poison inside you, never forget.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them."

My grudges are against truly awful things and I am working towards resolving the intense feelings of 24 years of resentment, hate and vengeance towards them, In order to achieve peace for me.

Being able to forgive others is a important part of my meditive spiritual journey

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them.

My grudges are against truly awful things and I am working towards resolving the intense feelings of 24 years of resentment, hate and vengeance towards them, In order to achieve peace for me.

Being able to forgive others is a important part of my meditive spiritual journey

I understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally forgive most things after the initial grumble and growl i dont care enough really about most things to hold mistakes against people only exception is if they have seriously gone after my people and hurt them they go on the justice list

Myself on the other hand i rarely forgive and can be very very hard on myself when i make fuckups in my life even if i had no control over it il blame and punish myself for not seeing not doing not reacting and for losing whenever things go wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to look at it like: you can't change people's behaviour but you can change how you react to it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them.

This is true. Although I think if someone *wants* to forgive then they can forgive anything. "

That is probably true. I honestly don't give most people who've done things to me that require forgiveness much thought. The people I love I forgive automatically.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Always forgive, to fail to do so means you carry poison inside you, never forget. "

I don't think not forgiving is failure on my part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always forgive, to fail to do so means you carry poison inside you, never forget.

I don't think not forgiving is failure on my part. "

I didn't say it was, just that it's counter-productive

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Always forgive, to fail to do so means you carry poison inside you, never forget.

I don't think not forgiving is failure on my part.

I didn't say it was, just that it's counter-productive

Ok. I'm truly not being pedantic (well I am a bit) but you did use the word fail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always forgive, to fail to do so means you carry poison inside you, never forget.

I don't think not forgiving is failure on my part.

I didn't say it was, just that it's counter-productive

Ok. I'm truly not being pedantic (well I am a bit) but you did use the word fail"

You're right, you are pedantic

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Always forgive, to fail to do so means you carry poison inside you, never forget.

I don't think not forgiving is failure on my part.

I didn't say it was, just that it's counter-productive

Ok. I'm truly not being pedantic (well I am a bit) but you did use the word fail

You're right, you are pedantic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think forgiveness is necessary in order to live your life without bitterness. Some things are so awful that if they happened to me I wouldn't want to forgive them or forget them.

My grudges are against truly awful things and I am working towards resolving the intense feelings of 24 years of resentment, hate and vengeance towards them, In order to achieve peace for me.

Being able to forgive others is a important part of my meditive spiritual journey

That last sentence

. Exactly that!

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"

Hmmm from much experience ~ The taking of a good fathers children, property, pension and future income by heavily gender biased, illegal (human and child rights violating), utterly corrupt family courts who totally support bitter, spiteful ex's at whatever cost to the children's mental and psychological health.

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

Theft, I’m a seafarer by trade, it’s the cardinal sin of the sea, people used to get unofficially hatched (heavy hatch dropped on fingers) by the crew for it when I was in navy

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t forgive easily. No bitterness or negativity to deal with though. Just cut off.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"

As somebody who has been forgiven for misgivings and who has also forgiven, I feel forgiveness is important for reaching peace, but things cannot be forgotten and just moved on from.

To learn and grow it’s important to not forget, especially for the person seeking forgiveness.

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By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

I forgive but never forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The idea of being forgotten tho that i struggle with memory is life memory is immortality

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Behind my back goings on at work. They think I did not hear.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I don't forgive or forget, I don't think I'd ever forgive anyone who hurt one of my boys. But I do accept, deal with it and move on as best I can.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

I don’t consciously do either I just move forward hopefully a bit wiser. I don’t spare the headspace to consider previous transgressions I just try to learn and move on.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

There are 2 people in this world I will never forgive or forget for what they put one of my grandauters through! I just pray for karma to visit them! X

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

You can forgive and should do so any anger you have doesn’t consume you, rule your life or indeed tar others with the same biased brush.

Forgetting though is very different. If you forget what lesson have you learnt. You can forget to a point so you don’t, as an example, constantly throw something in someone’s face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the level of hurt or betrayal for me, but on the whole I don't forgive easily no matter how hard I try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some things are unforgivable.

Some things are unforgettable.

Impossible to list as everybody is different and what one might forgive another may not.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

So... is there anything you wouldn't forgive?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"So... is there anything you wouldn't forgive? "

Besides you not meeting me in a hotel dressed only in an overcoat??? Nothing

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I’ve forgiven. I’ve been forgiven.

Forgetting is much harder and not very wise as it’s experience that make us choose better paths next time. I find that memories of painful times come with a gut wrench and so it’s difficult to forget when the reminder is a physical reaction.

As for the unforgivable things, I’m lucky I haven’t been faced with any yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way they treated me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive because life is too short to hate, as for forgetting well depends what you done

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

There was 1 person in my life I can never forgive and I had to cut them out completely. Another I tried so hard to forgive but every now & then does something to make me remember why I’ve never really forgiven them.

Forget? Never

J x

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

There is one person I could never forgive but I do not actively hate. It took a lot of work to get to this point but it’s boxed and shelved.

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By *mooth8Man
over a year ago

s hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 13/04/22 11:27:34]

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By *mooth8Man
over a year ago

s hertfordshire

@Spurs chick
"You can forgive and should do so any anger you have doesn’t consume you, rule your life or indeed tar others with the same biased brush.

Forgetting though is very different. If you forget what lesson have you learnt. You can forget to a point so you don’t, as an example, constantly throw something in someone’s face. "

something you hzve to be good at when youre a Spurs supporter

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By *mooth8Man
over a year ago

s hertfordshire

two words..

Forgive

a conditional choice.

Forget

not a choice

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x

Not that you're bitter about it

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By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"

Crossing a picket line would be a big one for me. That act of deliberate and blatant undermining of your peers would be a hard thing to forgive, and impossible to forget.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Forgiving is forgetting for a lot of people. To always remember suggests to me either a character trait (which means little) or a fear it might happen again! But it all depends what it is.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Nope, don’t forgive or forget. I just wait long enough for them to think its all blown over then its tomato juice on the car, or dog shit on the door step, their phone number in the toilet stall etc.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

I forgive and forget…

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By *mooth8Man
over a year ago

s hertfordshire

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x

Not that you're bitter about it"

maybe if it happened to you...

just saying

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

Says a lot about someone who can forgive. Very difficult to do.

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Being cheated on in a relationship.no way back from that

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Stealing my work lunch from the share office kitchen

That is unforgivable

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I guess a lot depends on the person or situation, your partner cheating on you, no way could you forgive, let alone forget, not turning up or doing something when you say you will, different story

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

You can definitely forgive but can you totally forget?... I don't think so, but you can decide to leave it in the past where things belong, draw a line and move forwards. It's no good holding on to negative emotions or they destroy you in the end. Forgive, leave it behind and move on.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I'm not very forgiving. Once my trust is lost its rarely regained so not much point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"

Cheating

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

i'm stubborn , i dont forgive or forget, i block and delete from my thoughts and move on ....there loss for disrepecting me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgiveness is inevitable

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By *atriciayoiditTV/TS
over a year ago

hatfield

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"
there for the grace of god and all that ..go i..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say abuse by people who were supposed to love and protect you. I'll never ever forgive or forget anyone who did me wrong.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Forgave my ex. The feeling was doing me no favours. Felt good afterwards. Not about them, it's about you

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By *inTonic2018Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x"

Heavy post. Emotional abuse of a child. I'll never forgive or forget. Don't give a shit about what was directed at me, this is unforgivable.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I forgive easily I don’t want that shit binding me to person in a negative way, it’s very unhealthy and damages you. Try to deal with things and then move on, what’s to be gained by doing anything else?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Forgive if they made a genuine mistake or are genuinely sorry. Forget too if they are people close to me.

Forgive if they are evil twats. For my own sake not theirs. Don't forget, unless that is best for myself too.

Though people in the paragraph above will be out of my life forever

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By *inTonic2018Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Begs the question; do you have to forgive and forget to be able to move on? I don't think so, personally. That shit's not living with me and affecting my family life now. I'm very sure though, that there are times when there should be no forgiveness.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Recently In our local paper a young lad crashed his car and killed his girlfriend and the parents of the girl pleaded with the courts not to jail him I’m not sure I could if I was in that situation the lad was speeding and showing off and crashed he did get a custodial sentence in the end

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x

Heavy post. Emotional abuse of a child. I'll never forgive or forget. Don't give a shit about what was directed at me, this is unforgivable."

Here here....

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

"Forgive and Forget....we all.know the saying but.......

What is one thing that can't be forgiven or forgotten?? x

Not that you're bitter about it

maybe if it happened to you...

just saying

Exactly...

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