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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient " Subspace can be trick especially for A new Dom who hasn't experienced. It . but experienced doms know what to do. | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient Subspace can be trick especially for A new Dom who hasn't experienced. It . but experienced doms know what to do." Yeah I'm lucky, mine knows my tells and how to manage it. But blooming heck was weird as when we started out | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient " --You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course) I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word! | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient --You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course) I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word! " Its not role play for those who M/S relationship but you have to have the right mental connection first . | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient --You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course) I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!" I am of a similar view, when I play or do rope. If something is not right just tell me, a safeword is a very blunt instrument. Also as someone said, if they go non vocal a safeword is not much help (there are ways around this). In my mind there are three reasons to offer safewords. Firstly if you are playing with someone new they will feel more comfortable relying on a safeword, but more importantly they may feel safer with a Top that offers one. Second, if the scene is primal or CNC where the agreed play is that resistance is to be ignored you then need a safeword that can be used if the play becomes too intense or something is hurting. Third, some people don't go non vocal but do get confused, and a safeword is more accessible for some than an explanation. The final thing to note is that a safeword does not remove the Tops responsibility for the bottom. They still need to use the various ways of checking in to ensure the bottom is well. Like a boxing refereree they need to know when the bottom has had enough. | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient --You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course) I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word!" Which we have all in place, because of going my going mute. There's always ways to get around these things if required. And in any case M checks in on me on a regular basis, we don't aim to have to use any form of stopping that's not our objective. | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient --You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course) I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word! I am of a similar view, when I play or do rope. If something is not right just tell me, a safeword is a very blunt instrument. Also as someone said, if they go non vocal a safeword is not much help (there are ways around this). In my mind there are three reasons to offer safewords. Firstly if you are playing with someone new they will feel more comfortable relying on a safeword, but more importantly they may feel safer with a Top that offers one. Second, if the scene is primal or CNC where the agreed play is that resistance is to be ignored you then need a safeword that can be used if the play becomes too intense or something is hurting. Third, some people don't go non vocal but do get confused, and a safeword is more accessible for some than an explanation. The final thing to note is that a safeword does not remove the Tops responsibility for the bottom. They still need to use the various ways of checking in to ensure the bottom is well. Like a boxing refereree they need to know when the bottom has had enough" --Good points on uses for safe words, but I think ultimately the dom needs that certain instinct. I've chosen not to go with someone extremely promising in the past because even though he offered a safe word and to talk etc, he really wanted to role play above everything else and do some serious stuff - and despite everything I just never really felt he had enough of an instinct. He was confident for sure, but he didn't convince me - he just seemed a bit too wild maybe or loose almost by nature. And I could be wrong about him actually, but I feel you can get a lot when you just talk to someone sometimes, and you have to be secure in that final level of trust. -- | |||
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"Yes traffic light works really well Short and simple " --Unless you are Irish, who have decided to skip 'amber' in some instances! It seems to me the safe word here is actually "Amber!" (ie to stop things becoming red), unless I suppose someone is saying "green, green, green, green" all the time! If someone was happy with condition "Red" then they would still be in need of a safe word. And what's the point in saying "green" unless it's to answer a direct question? Honestly, I'd work out more ways of communicating too, it makes sense (and makes it sound less like a driving test too lol). -- | |||
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"Yes traffic light works really well Short and simple --Unless you are Irish, who have decided to skip 'amber' in some instances! It seems to me the safe word here is actually "Amber!" (ie to stop things becoming red), unless I suppose someone is saying "green, green, green, green" all the time! If someone was happy with condition "Red" then they would still be in need of a safe word. And what's the point in saying "green" unless it's to answer a direct question? Honestly, I'd work out more ways of communicating too, it makes sense (and makes it sound less like a driving test too lol). --" I our situation green is never used unless he asks me what colour I'm on. Amber for us generally means I'm almost at my limit so slow down or be more gentle. Red means STOP! All play stops immediately and restraints are undone and we relax and talk about what tipped me (or him for that matter, as safe words can be used by the Dom to) over the edge to red. | |||
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"I insist on at least 6 letters, one number and a special character. 3 fails and 20mins before you can try again" Can you give an example And how you would verbalise that . | |||
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"Not part of the BDSM scene. But if I was to have a safe word “Mango” seem good or “Monkees”" All good words I did ask for alternatives | |||
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"Someone I knew and played with, for a laugh, switched traffic lights to coffee chains. We played quite theatrically anyway when playing in public so it played into that very well" But which ones were which | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient " If you space quickly a physical sign usually works. Hold something and let it go as the sign to stop. | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient If you space quickly a physical sign usually works. Hold something and let it go as the sign to stop." Oh, while I appreciate the metaphor, don’t complicate what should be kept simple. | |||
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"Heared the ultimate safe word today . Meatloaf. I will do anything for love .but I won't do that . I use the normal traffic light ones Green Amber Red . although no ones every needed to use them . so whats yours Anything as inventive as meatloaf " Cabbages | |||
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"We use a little bell as more often than not she can't speak. I also know how her body works and reacts so know when the bell is on its way. " Another good way | |||
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"We use a little bell as more often than not she can't speak. I also know how her body works and reacts so know when the bell is on its way. " We don't have a safe word. Everyone is now screaming at the screen! We've been in the community too long. He knows how to read my body. He knows it better tgan I do. Plus, how can you say a safe word, if your gaggad? | |||
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"I insist on at least 6 letters, one number and a special character. 3 fails and 20mins before you can try again" LMAO | |||
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"Mine aren't words as I go mute in subspace, which isn't the most convenient --You don't need them if you sort other things out imo (though it depends what's happening too of course) I reckon you need serious role play going on to really need a safe word! I am of a similar view, when I play or do rope. If something is not right just tell me, a safeword is a very blunt instrument. Also as someone said, if they go non vocal a safeword is not much help (there are ways around this). In my mind there are three reasons to offer safewords. Firstly if you are playing with someone new they will feel more comfortable relying on a safeword, but more importantly they may feel safer with a Top that offers one. Second, if the scene is primal or CNC where the agreed play is that resistance is to be ignored you then need a safeword that can be used if the play becomes too intense or something is hurting. Third, some people don't go non vocal but do get confused, and a safeword is more accessible for some than an explanation. The final thing to note is that a safeword does not remove the Tops responsibility for the bottom. They still need to use the various ways of checking in to ensure the bottom is well. Like a boxing refereree they need to know when the bottom has had enough. " Yes, unless it’s CNC, no and stop mean no and stop and are easier to say than pink flamingos…. And if you’re incapable of speaking that are no use at all. But I agree for nervous or newbie people I can see why they would like to use them when first exploring playing with power roles, verbal sparring etc Relying on safe words can be dangerous , you need those non verbal signs, you need to know what distress looks like to your partner and be ready to act on it | |||
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