FabSwingers.com forum: The elusive social...

By *.L.0460. OP Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

I don't really want one off shag meets, neither do the men I decide to chat to, so I don't think I'm being unreasonable for wanting a social in a setting such as a cafe or pub, but it's almost impossible to arrange. It doesn't have yo be on my doorstep, as I will meet somewhere convenient.

So far, even if a man has agreed it, he always tries to change the meet beforehand...

"Perhaps we could go for a drive" "is there somewhere quiet we could go?" "I could always just come to yours..."

Sorry fella, you just talked yourself out of any possibility of meeting.

Is it THAT much of a ballache to take an hour out of your time to meet & see if it's worth pursuing?? Surely it's a good way to get a veri, even if it doesn't go any further?? No wonder some men whinge about not getting meets...

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I would treat this as he's just not that into me situation.

Stick to your guns. If he's worth shagging he will agree to reasonable conditions. A public social is very reasonable. Just move on from any guy who even argues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dilemmas of a married man. Don't change what you need to feel comfortable. If they don't want to accommodate that then move on.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really want one off shag meets, neither do the men I decide to chat to, so I don't think I'm being unreasonable for wanting a social in a setting such as a cafe or pub, but it's almost impossible to arrange. It doesn't have yo be on my doorstep, as I will meet somewhere convenient.

So far, even if a man has agreed it, he always tries to change the meet beforehand...

"Perhaps we could go for a drive" "is there somewhere quiet we could go?" "I could always just come to yours..."

Sorry fella, you just talked yourself out of any possibility of meeting.

I ALWAYS have a social first. If they want sex first we're not compatible and I don't meet them.

If they agree to a social then start hinting at sex stuff then I won't meet them ever.

I said no and they didn't respect that.

I won't ever meet a man who won't respect "no"!!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I totally get this, when I was single I had same issue

I'd just move on if they start trying to change from a social.

I assume they either can't be seen in public with me ,or just want a guaranteed shag with no effort first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t change your expectations to meet theirs.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Don’t change your expectations to meet theirs.

Nice to see you back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just move on as soon as they try and change the meet. Says clearly on are profile we meet socially first but some still seem to think we're after one and dones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s so off putting isn’t it. That would turn a possible into an instant no for me

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By *.L.0460. OP Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Glad to see other ladies feeling the same.

It's a shame so many men don't understand that this is a very reasonable request- It's not as if I'm asking to be treated to a 3 course meal- I'll even pay for the drinks ffs!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not meeting for a coffee just for a verification.

If I arrange a social it’s because I fancy chatting to you face to face and I think we might get on. I love some input what and where, op, just say no and keep your boundaries, and that’s maybe what the guys were trying to find out what yours were.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most."

Oh I've hate that. I always wear jeans in those cases

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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago

Sent to Coventry

"I totally get this, when I was single I had same issue

I'd just move on if they start trying to change from a social.

I assume they either can't be seen in public with me ,or just want a guaranteed shag with no effort first.

Thus sums it up for me. Social first, always. To be fair most of the men I’ve spoken with have been happy with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So far, even if a man has agreed it, he always tries to change the meet beforehand...

"Perhaps we could go for a drive" "is there somewhere quiet we could go?" "I could always just come to yours..."

Sorry fella, you just talked yourself out of any possibility of meeting.

Totally agree and like others have said, if they don't respect your boundaries and quickly steer to the sex talk and or change meet to have sex or at least lead to it, it would be an instant turn off for me.

It's the same whenever I've arranged a social meet. A lot of fellas tend to ask if I'm going to be wearing stockings or assume I'm gonna be wearing them. They'll soon be disappointed because the minute I get a whiff of that assumption, I'll either call off the meeting or just rock up in jeans and a blouse (still looking smart).

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Nothing wrong with having standards and sticking to them!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I obviously missed that class in the “how to pick up chicks” class I attended on how to arrange a social.

I suppose I can be quite boring on so much as in my opinion a social is a social, not a play date, and I would not expect them to make suggestions about what I should wear so would behave in kind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers "

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd always want to do a social first.

Largely because I use fab to fuel my caffeine addiction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

You mean you’ve chucked an old mattress in the back or put down some blankets lol.

How very thoughtful of you. But I’ll pass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

You mean you’ve chucked an old mattress in the back or put down some blankets lol.

How very thoughtful of you. But I’ll pass. "

A mattress, who flush do you think I am?

Couple of bits of spongy foam and a dust sheet love. You know you want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

You mean you’ve chucked an old mattress in the back or put down some blankets lol.

How very thoughtful of you. But I’ll pass.

A mattress, who flush do you think I am?

Couple of bits of spongy foam and a dust sheet love. You know you want to.

Corrr you have twisted my arm. lol. You drive a hard bargain. Go on then.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Those excuses kind like they don't want to be seen out in public with you

It's probable that they've not been truthful about their situation and that's why a drive or meeting at yours would be better, if you were in s bar or coffee shop how would they explain you to their neighbour, colleague, sister in law if they walked in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

You mean you’ve chucked an old mattress in the back or put down some blankets lol.

How very thoughtful of you. But I’ll pass.

A mattress, who flush do you think I am?

Couple of bits of spongy foam and a dust sheet love. You know you want to.

Corrr you have twisted my arm. lol. You drive a hard bargain. Go on then.

I’ll even throw in a slap up dinner of a Ginsters Pasty, a bag of chips, and a Krispy Kreme donut.

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

If I’m potentially going to get naked with someone, I’d like to see if we can make it through a coffee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never have a social first…maybe I would put it on my fucket list

J x

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By *ookingandexploringCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

So far, even if a man has agreed it, he always tries to change the meet beforehand...

"Perhaps we could go for a drive" "is there somewhere quiet we could go?" "I could always just come to yours..."

Sorry fella, you just talked yourself out of any possibility of meeting.

Totally with you on that. For us, socials are the most important thing. Connect with the mind before connecting anything else. Sometimes those socials turn naughty, sometimes they don't.

Either way it would have be an enjoyable hour or two, learnt something new and got to know another human on this planet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

You mean you’ve chucked an old mattress in the back or put down some blankets lol.

How very thoughtful of you. But I’ll pass.

A mattress, who flush do you think I am?

Couple of bits of spongy foam and a dust sheet love. You know you want to.

Corrr you have twisted my arm. lol. You drive a hard bargain. Go on then.

I’ll even throw in a slap up dinner of a Ginsters Pasty, a bag of chips, and a Krispy Kreme donut. "

Oh nahhhh you can fuck off with your ginsters. You had me until that. Don’t say the G word in cornwall you’ll get shot lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I’m potentially going to get naked with someone, I’d like to see if we can make it through a coffee!

"
on fab world, if you potentially are going for a coffee, you need to see then naked first.

It's basically naked attraction.

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By *eliusMan
over a year ago

Henlow

Nothing wrong with requiring a social, in fact it’s a good idea for that extra layer of security. I’ve never had an issue, and it’s not at all unreasonable. Stick to your guns.

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By *.L.0460. OP Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"I never have a social first…maybe I would put it on my fucket list

J x "

And I wouldn't judge you at all for that choice & to be fair, I've had my share of fuck & go meets in the past but sadly those have almost 100% been completely unfulfilling, with a guy who doesn't give a shit if I'm satisfied, provided he gets to shoot his load

It's a part of the reason why I won't do it...even though I'm now looking for a potential fb it isn't worth feeling used by a bloody selfish man. At least vetting via social s out those types!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just an overconfident early assumptive close

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

I think you are only being reasonable - social to see if visually compatible as personality starts off the connection albeit short sometimes...stick to your rules it what makes you comfortable. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally reasonable to go for a social first and don't allow people to mess you around. Well done OP

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Even if they tried to change it to something less appropriate I’d bin them off.. a social is just that and it just shows a lack of respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id generally do things my way on my terms if it dont work no big loss i dont care enough for it to matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least if you go for a coffee you will get something warm out of it if it's a bust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never have a social first…maybe I would put it on my fucket list

J x "

Why? Nothing wrong with just fucking, that's what works for you and them. It can be horny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am obviously not a real woman, but I think that you are quite right, and I agree with the comments from the women above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even if they tried to change it to something less appropriate I’d bin them off.. a social is just that and it just shows a lack of respect."

this.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Love a social. Turn up in what you want. I love it when they just turn up

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I can’t get a shag never mind a social

Seriously though, I know what you mean, trying to change plans for a social is a common occurrence and it puts me off meeting at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this conversation with friends over the weekend and a social is purely just a social. I’d certainly turn away from that if I was in your shoes…

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I can’t get a shag never mind a social

Seriously though, I know what you mean, trying to change plans for a social is a common occurrence and it puts me off meeting at all."

You're worth more than just a shag

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

Only one way to find out.

There’s cake in the back.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

Only one way to find out.

There’s cake in the back.

You should have offered cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

Only one way to find out.

There’s cake in the back.

You should have offered cream

Cream cakes.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

Only one way to find out.

There’s cake in the back.

Smooth!

... and at least you didn't say you had puppies to look at in the back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

Only one way to find out.

There’s cake in the back.

Smooth!

... and at least you didn't say you had puppies to look at in the back

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I hate that or those let’s park up somewhere. No Fuck off mate I don’t want a quick fumble in the back of your hatchback. Cheers

What about the back of my luxury transit van?

But is it luxury though ...or is that just the hook?!

Only one way to find out.

There’s cake in the back.

Smooth!

... and at least you didn't say you had puppies to look at in the back

He wants to look at your puppies, as do we all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most."

This has happened to me many times. As soon as I hear, “what are you going to wear for me!”, it’s a see you later from me

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

This has happened to me many times. As soon as I hear, “what are you going to wear for me!”, it’s a see you later from me

Funny, because I get ladies asking me what i want them to wear. I say tee shirt and a hoodie. I guess that's past experience.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"I never have a social first…maybe I would put it on my fucket list

J x

It's a part of the reason why I won't do it...even though I'm now looking for a potential fb it isn't worth feeling used by a bloody selfish man. At least vetting via social s out those types! "

Well it seems "even asking for a social" is vetting out the incorrect ones for you. Don't change your thoughts or processes or your top three requirements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

This has happened to me many times. As soon as I hear, “what are you going to wear for me!”, it’s a see you later from me

Funny, because I get ladies asking me what i want them to wear. I say tee shirt and a hoodie. I guess that's past experience.

It’s the assumption that I’m going to wear something specific for them that’s the thing, and sometimes the creepy what’s underneath undertones.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

This has happened to me many times. As soon as I hear, “what are you going to wear for me!”, it’s a see you later from me

Funny, because I get ladies asking me what i want them to wear. I say tee shirt and a hoodie. I guess that's past experience.

It’s the assumption that I’m going to wear something specific for them that’s the thing, and sometimes the creepy what’s underneath undertones. "

I prefer that everyone is comfortable. How can you chat, if you're stressed out by choosing an outfit? No fun in that

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

Oh I've hate that. I always wear jeans in those cases

What if the date asks you to wear casual?

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

I really enjoy a social. It’s always nice meeting and getting to know new people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most."

No fucking way!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

No fucking way!!!

"
it's a "pick up" move to show alphaness irrc.

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By *ood Girl KatWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

For me, got to be a social first.

I'd like to know that we get on well, can have good conversation and a laugh to know if I'd want to meet again for something more. If we get on well some flirting is fun and builds some tension

I won't be pushed into something I'm not comfortable with.

Nobody should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love social meets, sometimes more fun than the sex. I would never turn down a social

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

This has happened to me many times. As soon as I hear, “what are you going to wear for me!”, it’s a see you later from me

Funny, because I get ladies asking me what i want them to wear. I say tee shirt and a hoodie. I guess that's past experience.

The hottest social I had was me in leggings and a hoodie. It led to an afternoon of bliss and months of satisfaction. Thanks for rekindling that memory.

OP, keep doing what's right for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a social where i get to introduce them to my winky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I like a social where i get to introduce them to my winky "

Its nice you still have your childhood teddy bear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites."

Whatever works for you thats cool.

Everyone is free to decide for themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites.

Whatever works for you thats cool.

Everyone is free to decide for themselves "

Everybody’s free to feel good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites.

Whatever works for you thats cool.

Everyone is free to decide for themselves

Everybody’s free to feel good."

Alright Rozalla

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites.

Whatever works for you thats cool.

Everyone is free to decide for themselves

Everybody’s free to feel good.

Alright Rozalla

I knew someone would get the reference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites.

Whatever works for you thats cool.

Everyone is free to decide for themselves

Everybody’s free to feel good.

Alright Rozalla

I knew someone would get the reference.

Oh I did, it was just a bit too cheesy for my palette!

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By *.L.0460. OP Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites."

We can't be making everything too easy now, can we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have a social before a meet

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most."

Oh god, this. “What are you going to wear to meet me?”.

I dunno, mate. Something reasonably presentable. I’m not a dick. But I also don’t care about clothes so no, I won’t take photos of three different outfits so you can pick which one you want to see me in. If you want that, I’ll buy you a Barbie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet.

Fuck.

Leave.

Jeez, people over complicate sex sites.

Whatever works for you thats cool.

Everyone is free to decide for themselves

Everybody’s free to feel good.

Alright Rozalla

I knew someone would get the reference.

Oh I did, it was just a bit too cheesy for my palette!"

Not the first time a woman has said that to me.

Wait, what..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

Oh god, this. “What are you going to wear to meet me?”.

A guy once said I had to meet him wearing a dress and no bra.

I jokingly said I'd turn up in a hoody, he said if I did he'd turn around and walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

Oh god, this. “What are you going to wear to meet me?”.

A guy once said I had to meet him wearing a dress and no bra.

I jokingly said I'd turn up in a hoody, he said if I did he'd turn around and walk away."

Err If you don’t turn up in a hoody I’m off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

Oh god, this. “What are you going to wear to meet me?”.

A guy once said I had to meet him wearing a dress and no bra.

I jokingly said I'd turn up in a hoody, he said if I did he'd turn around and walk away."

What did you wear to meet him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

Oh god, this. “What are you going to wear to meet me?”.

Hear hear *snap*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the guys who agree to a social then try to tell you what to wear that annoy me most.

Oh god, this. “What are you going to wear to meet me?”.

A guy once said I had to meet him wearing a dress and no bra.

I jokingly said I'd turn up in a hoody, he said if I did he'd turn around and walk away.

What did you wear to meet him?"

I didn't

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