FabSwingers.com forum: Are you..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

One of those people who is always there for others mentally to talk,listen, hug, empathise,yet when you need support no-one is there for you?..

I am not looking for sympathy, but it just makes things worse if I am having a down day for no particular reason & no-one seeming to care..

I have suffered anxiety, depression on & off for a lot of years so have a good understanding of it.

Usually challenging a negative with a positive works,but sometimes makes me feel guilty, knowing there are others worse off..

People usually only see me confident & bubbly, which I am..

But I don't always feel this way..

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Yes but mainly because I don't reach out for support and feel I have to do everything on my own.

Once people know i need help they're generally there for me

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

No. I have therapised my brain and emotions for 27 years and have become pretty adept at it. My difficulty is trusting someone else to be able to help me. So I don't ask, I just get on with it myself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We a have our way of coping OP

I am struggling at the moment with flashback and nightmares, due to the conflict in Ukraine

Can't hide from it unfortunately,

Cptsd and disabled after IED in Afghanistan 2014,have good and bad days, but put clown face on, inside a mess outside a smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of those people who is always there for others mentally to talk,listen, hug, empathise,yet when you need support no-one is there for you?..

I am not looking for sympathy, but it just makes things worse if I am having a down day for no particular reason & no-one seeming to care..

I have suffered anxiety, depression on & off for a lot of years so have a good understanding of it.

Usually challenging a negative with a positive works,but sometimes makes me feel guilty, knowing there are others worse off..

People usually only see me confident & bubbly, which I am..

But I don't always feel this way..

This is me everyday, I’ve often put myself in positions where I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted because I’m busy helping everyone I can but as soon as I reach out for help I get the whole “that sucks”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We a have our way of coping OP

I am struggling at the moment with flashback and nightmares, due to the conflict in Ukraine

Can't hide from it unfortunately,

Cptsd and disabled after IED in Afghanistan 2014,have good and bad days, but put clown face on, inside a mess outside a smile "

Big hugs to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of those people who is always there for others mentally to talk,listen, hug, empathise,yet when you need support no-one is there for you?..

I am not looking for sympathy, but it just makes things worse if I am having a down day for no particular reason & no-one seeming to care..

I have suffered anxiety, depression on & off for a lot of years so have a good understanding of it.

Usually challenging a negative with a positive works,but sometimes makes me feel guilty, knowing there are others worse off..

People usually only see me confident & bubbly, which I am..

But I don't always feel this way..

I know what you mean..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have enough of my own shit without other peoples to contend with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's something I've only recently struggled with. Anixety especially.

It's sounds like you care about others which isn't a bad thing. Sometimes though we need to care about ourselves. That's something I struggle with putting everyone else before myself. Then when you do crash you have no energy for it. Dunno if that makes any sense!

There's always someone here though. Take care of yourself xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be if i like the person yes if we are friends il do even more too im very protective of my friends loyalty is all important

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

If I can be yes.

However one of the worst things you can do is offer to be there for somebody when you are distracted and/or going through something yourself. If your own headspace is not balanced, you can potentially make things worse for that person than if you had not been there for them.

I say that as somebody who has been on both ends of that situation.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm more like one of those whom is their for anyone but when I'm in need I shut myself down

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"One of those people who is always there for others mentally to talk,listen, hug, empathise,yet when you need support no-one is there for you?..

I am not looking for sympathy, but it just makes things worse if I am having a down day for no particular reason & no-one seeming to care..

I have suffered anxiety, depression on & off for a lot of years so have a good understanding of it.

Usually challenging a negative with a positive works,but sometimes makes me feel guilty, knowing there are others worse off..

People usually only see me confident & bubbly, which I am..

But I don't always feel this way..

Sorry to hear you're struggling.

Am sending you love and positivity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of those people who is always there for others mentally to talk,listen, hug, empathise,yet when you need support no-one is there for you?..

I am not looking for sympathy, but it just makes things worse if I am having a down day for no particular reason & no-one seeming to care..

I have suffered anxiety, depression on & off for a lot of years so have a good understanding of it.

Usually challenging a negative with a positive works,but sometimes makes me feel guilty, knowing there are others worse off..

People usually only see me confident & bubbly, which I am..

But I don't always feel this way..

Sorry to hear you're struggling.

Am sending you love and positivity. "

Thank you....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm more like one of those whom is their for anyone but when I'm in need I shut myself down "

That's me too. I think it's most people these days though.

After a few years I've kind of grown numb to others though. Sympathising and empathising aren't my strongest points any more, too busy in my mind trying to keep everything around me together!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes well I try to be there for others if I'm needed or wanted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We a have our way of coping OP

I am struggling at the moment with flashback and nightmares, due to the conflict in Ukraine

Can't hide from it unfortunately,

Cptsd and disabled after IED in Afghanistan 2014,have good and bad days, but put clown face on, inside a mess outside a smile "

Are you in touch with any ex-service groups? Just being with others who know how you feel may help sometimes. I know it's not something that you can ever forget and in a way you shouldn't, but I hope that you gradually find some peace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes but mainly because I don't reach out for support and feel I have to do everything on my own.

Once people know i need help they're generally there for me"

You've hot the nail on the head here

This applies to me too,all to often I'm dealing and helping with other folks issues that I don't have time nor do I notice that I need help too.

Thankfully I'm surrounded by people who have got my back even if I don't know it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm more like one of those whom is their for anyone but when I'm in need I shut myself down "

Yes, many of us are like that, I think, and I always was but I am very lucky to have some lovely women friends now whom I can be very relaxed with and open up to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've very much been a shoulder to cry on for many years most probably because I've tended to think more of others rather than myself. There's not been many people there for me in my dark days, I have three friends who know I suffer with depression and they have been my rocks. However, I tend not to ask for help as I have fallen into that trap of "I can do this alone rather than bother my friends". It's not healthy though and it's really made things worse as I've got older x

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

Always been the one to cheer everyone else up with big smile drive to friends when they need me .. but I've had noone the passed 6 weeks when I've been at my lowest ever n the loneliest . Yet there been no one but a mother who goes too.far other way so I paint the smile on for her n nothing wrong to her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm usually the go to person for everyone's problems but I don't lean much on others as I have my own way of dealing with things. Also, sometimes if someone isn't there for you, they might not know how to handle certain situations and when they aren't in a good place theirselves they don't want to take on others problems either.

I'm wary of us all having stuff to deal with so I tend not to add to that. Very much more of a helper rather than asking for help when I need it.

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